This is sort of like a Breakfast Club. Except it's 1968 so there is a very different feel to the world where Kate, Saint, Vera and CJ live. And instead of being encouraged to be themselves they are all trying to stuff it deep down. Which is why they all make a suicide pact set to expire (or take place?) in two weeks.

I wanted to be annoyed with these kids. I mean, come on, a suicide pact? I hated them before I knew anything about them. But one by one they killed a little of the hate with such powerful moments of remembering how it was to be that age and just feel things that much. Every little thing. Stupid shit, important shit, bigger shit than kids should have to deal with and trying to figure out the world at the same time.

This is a good debut by Sharon Solwitz and anyone who knows how to take me down someone else's memory lane without hating them has my gratitude.

Perhaps this one follows too closely on the heels of The Girls for me, another book set in the same time period also about teenagers struggling with family problems and secrets and looking for a family of friends. Perhaps I just had a hard time believing that friends would all have kept so much from each other (with the exception of CJ's secret which would have been something he would have wanted to hide even from his closest friends in the late 1960's).

Solwitz moves the story between the four characters, Kay's in first person and the others in third person. The changing narrative, particularly the changing point of view, just didn't work for me. I gave it 50 pages before I gave myself permission to stop. Sometimes you need to push through, and if other people who generally like the same books as I do told me it was well worth reading, I might have done that. But no one had. And so I gave up.

My not finishing this book probably has as much to do with it being the wrong book at the wrong time as it does with the book itself, in the end. It hit on too many triggers for me just now. That being said, I also don't see myself going back and picking it up any time. Unless one of those friends can convince me to do that. You never know.

Once, in Lourdes is a poignant, beautifully written novel about a friendship between four and the pact they made one summer in 1968. The characters' voices are authentic as they draw you into their individual struggles. The writing is strong as it illustrates this small town of the past and the way it made these characters feel. The tension is steadily built upon, never letting you go until you finish the last page. Readers of Emma Cline's The Girls should not hesitate to check this one out!

Having been born in 1963, you'd think I'd have loved this book. Maybe it was just far removed from my life, yet too close for me to have clear thinking about it. That said...I also did not care for The Girls, and in my opinion, they are similar in tone. This is about a group of young adults, who make a pact to jump to their deaths. Do they? I received an ARC of this book from Net Galley and Random House Publishing Group, thank you! My opinion is honest and unbiased.

This book was a hard read for me. I do relate to Kate for being overweight since I have been fat as a kid myself. Not a bad read but wishing it wasn't as hard to read.

I enjoyed this book. I would say it's a little intense for a teenager to read... or may give them bad ideas. lol Very well written. I really got sucked into this one. Thank you again Netgalley for the advanced copy.

What a story. both real and sad, its the story we all have lived at some time.

Kay was 11 years old when her mother killed herself. Kay is in high school and an outcast. Kay feels like an outcast in her family as her stepmother nags her to lose the extra 40 pounds of weight. She has three other friends who are also outcasts. Vera has a deformed hand, CJ is a son of an Auschwitz survivor and Saint has just come from Detroit and helps his mother to support the family by working part time. While playing bridge in the park one day, they decide to commit suicide in two weeks. Thy make a pact to live their lives fully and for each other. They get a tattoo that is a bird with the words 4ever on it. They all have their tattoo put on different spots of their body. They are going to experience only joy for the next 14 days. However things only get worse. Parents that aren't understanding, a physics exam, drugs plus more complicates their lives in unexpected ways. Will the four of them commit suicide?,

The novel involved me as I read it drawing me into each character's life with their desires and miseries. It's not easy to be a teenager. Life appears complicated enough and more so when you don't feel loved. It is an intense book. I ended reading the novel feeling their feelings. It is a story that will stay with me.

This is a difficult book for me to review. On one hand I did enjoy it, but then again I didn't. I liked the characters but the choices they made were so stupid. I couldn't put it down though. I just wanted to know what was going to happen.

I do think that I would try out another book by Sharon.

This is one of the stories where you have no idea what to think at the start, you think you do in the middle and by the end you’re back to square one but feeling slightly empty like you’ve lost something precious. There’s definitely a lot of depth and emotion in this book, and it’s hidden in the crazy exploits of the kids who are going through so much stuff of their own and not really having anyone but themselves to turn to. Saint has a lot of turned in anger inherited from his father but remains calm, serene but distant on the outside. CJ is gay, and in 1968 that isn’t the best thing to be and he still doesn’t really understand it himself, Vera has a lot of daddy issues, brother issues and also is dealing with a birth defect and then Kay is overweight, had a mother who killed herself and a stepmother she hates. Yeah, lots of issues to explore.

I liked how this book was wild and free at times where things were explored almost accidentally. Because it’s 1968, it’s obvious that a lot of things around sexuality weren’t understood and accepted yet so we see a lot of accidental experimenting with the group such as bisexuality and cross-dressing. It made me uncomfortable at times because it was almost done in a mocking way but at the same time, it was quite beautiful. I particularly enjoyed Saint and CJ’s sexual intimacy scene. It was beautifully done and I would have much preferred that relationship over Saint and Vera as I hated it.

I enjoyed most of the characters except Vera who had the most issues out of all the gang but was the most horrible and pushed the others into situations and thoughts that they didn’t want to be in, or have. The Pledge was her idea in the first place (i mean, what kind of person strolls up to their friends and convinces them all to join her in a suicide leap).

The last chapter felt a bit drawn out for me, which meant by the time the thing we were waiting for came about, everything felt a bit stale for me and almost emotionless. It was like everything went from psychedelic colour to grey in the space of a few pages and I didn’t really care any more. I enjoyed most of the story though, it was a wild ride.

I wasn't able to read this in time for the publishing date. Sorry, and thank you so much for sending me the ARC.

Once, in Lourdes chronicles the powerful connection between four teenage friends in the turbulent summer of 1968. They are misfits on the edge of adulthood, yet still filled with a childlike innocence. The friends live in Lourdes, Michigan where they hang out in a park nicknamed “The Haight”, in imitation of the free love revolution happening in San Francisco. They spend their time there discussing Buddhism and obsessively playing games of bridge.

The story is narrated by Kate, a fiercely loyal friend who struggles with her weight and with her overbearing stepmother. She is envious of beautiful Vera, who has a disfigured hand that only serves to make her striking looks more ethereal – but her real issues (drug use and inappropriate sexual behaviour) are hidden. The rest of the group is comprised of the two boys, C.J. and Saint, both of whom are dealing with unusual family circumstances and many surprising secrets.

After a disastrous, drug-fueled night, Vera asks her friends to make a pact – they will live the next two weeks to the fullest, doing all the things they always wanted to do, and then they will hold hands and jump off the cliff in their beloved park. The novel explores the power of teenage bonds, even when they don’t seem to make sense to the outside world. What happens in the next two weeks will determine the futures of all four of the friends, and whether they will live to experience adulthood.

I expected to like this dysfunctional teen story, but I just couldn’t connect with the characters, whose naïve confusion and misplaced loyalty made them seem ridiculous. There were long stretches of plot that didn’t serve to develop the characters, although there were some nice short stories embedded in this too-long novel. Vera had the most potential to be interesting, but her extreme melodrama made it difficult to relate to her.

The heightened emotions of the characters reminded me of the worst parts of high school, where everything is black and white, and nothing will ever get better. I could empathize with some parts, but not really relate to their problems. Nevertheless, I had to keep reading to find out who, if any, of the friends would survive the pact – although even that was anti-climactic. While the setting and some of the language was compelling, the characters were not. This novel is still worth a read, but it just didn’t come together as nicely as I had hoped.

I received this book from Random House Publishing and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I was expecting this book to be somewhat dark, it is after all about four kids who have a suicide pact. But I wasn't expecting it to be quite so disturbing.  I mean the book was interesting, it had more of an experimental feel when it came to the writing. It included some of the drawings of the main character Kate.  The characters were all interesting as well, I was able to feel for all of them.  The ending took me by surprise as well, and I wasn't sure if I liked it. It was a very dark ending. Which is why I ended up giving the book three stars. It whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth.

There's a certain genre of book that I'm drawn to. Usually there's a group of four or more people, and the narration will alternate between each person. The masterpiece, "A Little Life" is the prime example.

"Once, In Lourdes" does a great job of doing this, as well as provide a compelling, and highly moving story. Four teens, Kay, Vera, Saint and CJ are on the cusp of their senior year of high school and find themselves at a crossroad. In every different way, each is unhappy at home and a pact is made. Once, In Lourdes follows the two weeks after that pact.

To say that this book is emotional is not enough. No, not like A Little Life, where I was crying for hours, more....emotionally disturbing. SPOILER ALERT:::: There's insest.

All in all, a wonderful book that kept me interested far beyond the suspense of the Pact and...it's final resolution.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and Sharon Solwitz for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Sadly I didn't finish this book. I couldn't connect with the characters and the storyline wasn't for me.

This book was about four friends who made a pact to commit suicide in two weeks. It is about the the developments and events that take place during the two weeks from when these four friends made the pact.
Overall I rated this book three stars out of five. This story had a good premise. It seems interesting, and interesting enough to get your attention to read. However, this book did not flow well it was to all over the place with little organization. This made the book difficult to get through. The character development was good and in depth. However, the characters to me were unlikable, which again made this book difficult to read. I think this book had great promise, it just did not meet my expectations.
I would like to thank Netgalley, Sharon Solwitz, and Random House Publishing Group for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

This is one of the best books I have read this year. The four main characters, all teenagers, make a suicide pact, and we are then given a view inside their lives for the days between when they make the pact and the day they have agreed to follow through.

Kay, Vera, Saint, and C.J. all have a lot going on in their lives. The author gives us some fascinating insights into each of them, making each one a sympathetic character in some way.

The ending could have gone any number of ways, but I found the end chosen by the author to be a compelling, realistic one.

**I received a copy of this book from NetGalley with no expectation of a positive review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.**

Lourdes, Michigan, in 1968: Four teenagers have banded together to feel a little less like outsiders. Their dysfunctional home lives, ridicule at school, and the general state of affairs cause them to consider Vera’s idea of suicide. The four agree on a date two weeks out, which is also Vera’s seventeenth birthday. In the two weeks they have left, they will enjoy life, and afterwards, they will meet at the park and jump from the ledge. Together. 4Ever.

CJ is a closeted gay whose Jewish father is an Auschwitz survivor. He’s in love with Saint, who is from the projects in Detroit, with an absent father and a mother who cleans houses. Kay ‘s mother killed herself, her father then married a perfect woman who has a perfect daughter about Kay’s age, and Kay got fat. And fatter. One of Vera’s hands didn’t fully develop in utero, and she is not shy about showing it off. She also takes hard drugs, has sex with multiple partners (including her younger brother Garth), and is the only daughter of a local cop.

The story was all right, but I was totally unable to relate to either the characters or the setting. I was too young in 1968 to really be aware of the turmoil the world was in, and though we read about the characters’ problems, I couldn’t identify with any of them. I think part of the problem is that I have little patience for “teen-angst bullsh!t, “ and these four were wallowing as opposed to trying to make a positive change in their lives.

Thank You to Random House Publishing Group for providing me with an advance copy of Sharon Solwitz's novel, Once, in Lourdes, in exchange for an honest review.

PLOT - Set during the late 1960's in Michigan, Once, in Lourdes, is the story of four high school friends who make a suicide pact. The teenagers sign a pledge to throw themselves off of a cliff and into the ocean at sunrise in two weeks. In the time leading up to the pact, they find themselves making bold choices and living as if they're going to actually kill themselves. Who is solid with the plan and who might have doubts?

LIKE- Solwitz has set her novel during the Vietnam War, with her two male protagonists rapidly reaching the age where they might be drafted. The overriding feeling is one of uncertainty and fear, which felt fresh and relevant for our current political climate. Solwitz does a great job at rooting her story in the era and it made me feel transported.

Once, in Lourdes is told in a close third perspective of the four main characters:

Vera- a complicated girl from a wealthy, yet abusive home. She is beautiful, but has a disfigured hand that she alternatively tries to hide and use to shock. A force to be reckoned with, she's the group leader.

Kate- Sweet and loyal. Kate is overweight and clashes with her stepmom, who has made it her personal mission to get Kate to slim down. Their home is focused on goals and perfection.

C.J. - Brainy and geeky.  C.J. is gay and is struggling both internally and externally with regard to his sexual feelings.

Saint- Handsome and the only one in the group from a poor family. Saint is quiet, kind, and mysterious. Vera, CJ, and Kate all have a crush on Saint. 

Once, in Lourdes dips into the minds of all four characters and gives a little backstory of each. I was most interested in the Kate sections. Kate is the least willing to kill herself. In the two weeks leading up to the suicide date, she undergoes the biggest and most natural transformation of the group. Kate finally stands up to her stepmother and she begins to develop a crush on a boy that she plays tennis with, someone who is not part of this somewhat toxic and odd-ball group of friends that she has had for years. What's even more, Kate allows herself to crush on the tennis boy, even when her friends don't approve. Kate transforms into someone who has her own opinions and shares them, which is not who she is at the start of the story. I found Kate, who on the surface seems the most mundane of the group, to be the most fascinating. 

Solwitz writes vivid descriptions and beautiful prose. I often paused to admire her writing. I thought that the very last chapter was the strongest of the novel. I was intrigued to see how it would all end and the ending has a good emotional pay-off.

DISLIKE - The story was made distracting and less effective, by too much shock value. Vera and her brother, Garth, are in an incestuous relationship. This is core to the story, leading to a major plot development towards the end. However, CJ also has a sexually laced encounter with his brother, while the two play a game of pool. They get naked and although nothing technically happens, CJ is clearly thinking of his brother in those terms. This was just too much for me. I'm not at all a prude, but the story is filled with graphic sexual details of all of the characters, which were simply less interesting than other aspects of the story. It didn't need to be eliminated entirely, but it could have been used more judiciously for greater impact. It overwhelmed the narrative and I felt assaulted.

I was unevenly interested in the characters. I wish the story had more of both Saint and Kate, and less of Vera and CJ. 

RECOMMEND- Maybe. Once, in Lourdes was okay, but I'm not sure that it will be a novel that sticks in my memory.  Solwitz is a strong writer, enough so, that I'd be inclined to check out her other novels.