Cat provides the story of her addiction to drugs starting with ADHD mess provided by her psychiatrist father whilst at boarding school. Her plausible explanation of her further involvement with further drugs, the highs and lows of this dependency set against her seemingly dysfunctional family leads to a high profile job with Conde Nash. In a self destructional way she hold on to her job despite lack of sleep by the support of those who consider her talented and gifted. Don't expect Cat's story to be a gentle read as she writes in all the gory detail the life of a dependent addict who only functions whilst full of those beloved drugs. Those with whom she associated at this time of her career seem to be also on the downward spiral and even put Cat's life at risk. A realistic tale of drug culture behind the trendy fashion scene. Gritty writing!

I found this book irritating and Cat Marnell to be extremely self indulgent.

I have to say I was really disappointed with this.
The style of writing left me feeling that the author had no personality whatever.
It was boring.
This was just not for me.

Excellent - searingly, brutally honest, unflinching and painfully uncomfortable to read - like a more self-aware, even more self destructive contemporary Elizabeth Wurtzel.

Had mixed feelings about the book. On the one hand felt for Cat and her spiral into drug abuse and on the other felt it was both self indulgent and in a weird way glamourised drug abuse. But I did finish the book and wanted to know what happened - I guess I wanted a happy ever after and hope that still might happen for her.

Memoirs....don't normally enjoy them but with book I found myself actually loving it.
Beautifully written gritty and very real in the sense of addiction quite funny but sad at the same time

Is this a brave memoir?

Cat Marnell was diagnosed with ADHD while still at school and prescribed Ritalin to help her focus. However, Cat was never going to stick to the prescribed dose nor the prescribed method of taking the drug. She’d no sooner been given her first prescription of the drug when she crushed it and sniffed it up her nostrils. Her grades certainly improved, but her road to becoming a full-blown addict had just begun.

She makes the boarding school she attended sound like a drug den. It was a school filled with privileged children, whose main aim it seems (from what she’s written) was to try every drug they could lay their hands on. After being expelled from the school, she took herself off to New York and managed to get into the fashion magazine industry working for some of the top magazines first as an intern but worked hard to become the beauty editor at Lucky and then XoJane.

Her life started to spiral out of control when she started swallowing drugs during the day to keep her alert and at night to try to sleep. However, because of the number of amphetamines she was swallowing during the day, it meant that she could go for days without sleep and it was this lack of sleep which finally drove her into rehab.

Eventually things became so bad, that she was forced to go to rehab or get fired. It didn’t take long once she came out of rehab to resort to her usual behaviour of psychiatrist “hopping”. She’d tell one that she needed something to concentrate, the next she needed something to sleep or whatever she could dream. Thanks to her father being a psychiatrist, she knew which drugs would prove the greatest “friends” to her ever-increasing addiction.

Did I enjoy the book? No!

Did I find it interesting? I was hoping for a miracle. There were many times when I wanted to throw the book down and return to normality, because the book is written at a frenetic pace. I persevered ‘til the last page thinking “Surely after this (latest) trip to rehab, she’ll understand that she’s got to take control and stay clean”, but this never happens and at the end she admits that she is still on drugs.

I know that unless we’ve walked in another’s shoes, we cannot understand what their life is like, so who am I to comment on Cat Marnell’s addictions. But there’s this little voice in my head saying “Why? Why did this happen? Why did her family, school or friends not intervene when she was still a teenager to get her drug free and rehabilitated? But then would an early intervention have helped? We’ll never know.

Having read through this review a couple of times before posting, I have to ask myself why I’m giving it four stars and having thought about it for quite some time, before writing my reply, the answer has to be: I’m hoping that some parent, friend, relative or even co-worker reads it and learns how to spot someone’s downward spiral. I also hope that if someone is an addict to either drugs or alcohol and they read it, realisation comes that they need help before it becomes too late and things have got too bad to get clean.

Treebeard

Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.

Although I found the book fascinating and wanted to shake cat's parents until they became responsible human beings, I cannot say I enjoyed the book. Reading how a young talented woman can descend into drug addiction so easily is scary for anyone who works with young adults on a daily basis.

No. Wrong on every level. Appalling that this is even being considered for publication.

For those who know of Cat Marnell's writing and her story, this book is exactly what you would expect. There are no big revelations or real explanations, which is disappointing.

Cat is not know for being likeable, and her life story doesn't do anything to change that. She is however very open, and freely admits to her own upper-class white girl privilege.

The biggest surprise is that she managed to keep her jobs for so long while being addicted to every drug you can possible think of - and a few more that you didn't even know existed.

How to Murder Your Life is a brutally honest memoir. Not one for the faint hearted...

At the age of 15, Caitlin Marnell was a pupil at a prestigious boarding school. She had elected to send herself there in an attempt to improve her appalling grades, finding out by accident that taking prescription medication for ADHD helped her pass her classes with flying colours and grades her Father could be proud of.

Where's the problem with that? You might think, until you actually stop to consider it in a little more detail...

Because that very mundane prescription medication for ADHD, quickly began a downward spiral that saw Cat move from boarding school to college in New York via some very prestigious magazine publications.

It is from her prescribed medication for ADHD that Cat quickly becomes addicted to getting 'High' and is soon seeking alternative forms of 'recreational' drugs that will have devastating consequences on her life for years to come.

It's difficult to say too much without giving some of the content away. But this is an important book, and I urge you to read it.

On finishing Cat Marnell’s ‘How to Murder Your Life,’ another book I read way back, Elizabeth Wurtzel’s ‘More, Now, Again’ sprang to mind. I mean, it’s maybe a little obvious to compare the two, but I thought I might: both are memoirs of addiction written by uber-dramatic, self-involved blondes who live ultra-privileged New York lives, after all. Thing is, save for the fact that I read More, Now, Again all in one go on a rainy Saturday afternoon, after which I attended an Evan Dando gig, followed by party where I hung out with a Swedish chef named Bjorn, I don’t really remember anything about that book. I mean, I read More, Now, Again much more than a decade ago. I recall that Lizzie was addicted to Ritalin at that time, and I also seem to remember that her apartment had been invaded by cockroaches –or maybe she just hallucinated that – details are hazy. As for Cat Marnell, mice are her problem, and her drug of choice is, well, it’s every drug you’ve ever heard of – along with a few you hoped were just urban myths. I would wager a bet that there isn’t a drug out there that Marnell hasn’t tried. I mean, doing drugs by the crate-load is, if not Marnell’s claim to fame, then at least her favourite party piece.

So, this book is, as its title suggests, a lesson in how not to life a life. Or, if you are an actual addict, it might just be a great lesson in how to keep on living when all the odds are stacked against you* (Tip: having wealthy parents who can pay your $28,000 rehab bills helps a whole lot). This is car crash literature; the kind of book that keeps you reading late into the night as you wonder just how low Marnell can go. I say that not as a criticism, you know, even though I know that a lot of people will read this book and stand in judgement at how Cat Marnell has screwed herself over time and again (even with all that privilege, and all that money and all those second, third and fourth chances…YAWN). Hey, listen, we all screw up. Some of us just happen to screw up a whole lot more than others. If you’re not familiar with Marnell’s work, (Lucky, xojane, Vice) - then what are you doing here? Just kidding! - then you may not know that Marnell is an honest-to-god wild child and the one-time enfant terrible of the US fashion-zine scene. Marnell has an insatiable appetite for self-destruction - and boy does she love to binge. If you read this book, you’ll discover details of Marnell’s prescription pill addiction, which was cultivated in boarding school, aged fifteen; fun and not so fun times spent partying with cokehead Calvin Klein models in New York; an enviable job at Lucky magazine under the tutelage of Jean Godfrey-June, whom Cat adores. This book also details abortions (more than one) and an overdose. There is also sexual abuse, insomnia, a whole lot of bulimia, doctor shopping on the UES, multiple rehabs and many hallucinations along the way. Oh, and mice. Lots of mice. Nev Shulman, in his boxer shorts, makes a cameo appearance at one point as Cat’s unfortunate roommate. If you think you have the roommate from hell, then you haven’t met Cat Marnell.

I haven’t read a whole heap of addiction memoirs or anything, so I’m not an expert, but it’s safe to say that by their very nature these books can be dark, squirm-in-your-seat, uncomfortable reads. Not this one, though. This book didn’t unsettle me. It didn’t make me feel queasy either, which, with this kind of thing, is practically mandatory. And I never really felt sorry for Marnell. Maybe that’s because Marnell doesn’t really see her addiction as something to get down about, or maybe it’s because, in this book, she merely scratches the surface of who she is. Marnell will name-drop all day long, she’ll let you borrow vintage dresses from her wardrobe, she’ll let you raid her medicine cabinet and hang out with Courtney Love for an afternoon too, but as for letting you eavesdrop on her innermost thoughts and feelings –forget about it. Unlike Lizzie Wurtzel before her, that is simply not what Cat is about. Marnell lives in a shallow world, and in this book, she presents herself as a shallow kinda girl. As a result, this book might lack a little heart and –ahem- substance at times, but boy, is it one wild and gritty ride.

This is an odd book. You can see why Cat Marnell succeeded in building a career in fashion publishing against all the odds: she is very determined, creative, gifted - but flawed. It almost beggars belief that her drive and determination evidenced in her chosen career did not enable her to escape her addictions. From the readers point of view, the amount of name-dropping (much of it fashion related) makes the book a must-read for the fashion conscious but eventually becomes a bit like hard work for this older, male reader! Enjoyable though.

This wasn't the type of book I'd usually choose to read, but something about the description made me curious enough to give it a go.
A couple of days of reading at every opportunity followed, including sneaky chapters whilst sitting in the bath, left me in no doubt that if I hadn't have read this, I'd have missed out on a breathlessly exciting, terribly sad and searingly honest book.
Cat's story intrigued me, annoyed me, saddened me and yet ultimately gave me hope. I genuinely worried for her throughout the pages of her very determined attempt to 'murder her life'
This book is an absolute must read and I can't praise it highly enough, whether or not we'll see any more of Cat's writing is hard to say, but whatever she ends up doing, I for one hope it brings her some peace.

A brutally frank and compelling memoir from a self confessed addict. This was hard going at times, Marnell comes across as quite flippant at first and some of her life events are horrendous - but by the end I felt nothing but sympathy for her. It's really dark in places and I imagine it will be upsetting for some readers.
As a young teenager she was medicated with Adderall, which can have seriously bad side effects when taken in large quantities, this started a journey of drug addiction, doctor shopping and bulimia.
I'd not heard of her before but the precisé was so fascinating and I'm really glad that I took the time - a definite recommend for everyone that has ever struggled to cope with all that life throws at us.

I rarely give up on a book but this was one that I couldn't get on with, the whole tone was just too self congratualtory and it read as a pro-drugs/anorexia novel

Cat Marnell was in her twenties when she worked as a beauty editor at Lucky magazine enabled- or not as the case may be- by an addiction to all the usual suspects: adderall, coke, amphetamines and the sedatives needed to bring her down in order to grab a few hours of sleep a month. She also enjoyed the kind of chaotic sexual encounters necessary to build a self esteem low enough to take drugs in the first place. It's a kind of pre-requisite if you want to become successfully fucked up.

Her articles and blog landed her this book contract and the fact that she managed to deliver it on time is testimony to her editors, her rehab, her perseverance or perhaps an addiction that wasn't quite as chaotic as she depicts? After all, a book about a life functioning enough to deliver a, um, book wouldn't be quite as compelling.

I spent a long time working with people who have problems with substance misuse and on the whole I found quite a few of them charming and witty, intelligent (even though their education was frequently abruptly derailed) and sharp as tacks. If they applied their talents to acquiring enough money to keep a habit growing in a more constructive way, some of them would be world beaters. Marnell is clearly cut from this cloth.

The main problem with Marnell is that she is regarded as some kind of expert on drug addiction when in fact she can only be an expert on her own addiction (that is if she has developed sufficient insight and intrapersonal skill) and being so close to the *problem* means she is the most unreliable of narrators. Drug addiction forces an elastic relationship with the truth, so how much can we as readers take the word of a novelist writing about her own drug use? She is right to highlight the silence expected of women in general when they transgress social and moral codes and in interviews she has asked "Why can’t we acknowledge that lots and lots of women abuse drugs? They are a huge part of so many women’s lives? Including mine … You call it oversharing. I call it a life instinct. Because look how easy it is, even when you are Whitney f***ing Houston, to withdraw your voice and pretend like you’re a good girl and not mention that you’re using. To slip silently into the water. To disappear.”

She is more interesting in interviews when she tackles the media cliche of the 'drug using community' stating that there isn't one: "We’re all just weirdos in our houses, alone.’” but I would dispute the veracity of this because in truth, in order to successfully acquire and use drugs, one has to have a relationship of trust with other drug users. And what is stated time and time again by drug addicts is the sense of belonging they get when they enter into and are accepted by that 'family'. This is especially important in the case of people who have lived in fractured birth families and feel lonely and outside of society. Drugs give a false illusion of belonging to some users and in others they mask the social disconnection.

Marnell's descent to the bottom (if that's where she went and I really, really doubt it because I have seen what the 'bottom' is and it ain't Marnell's life) is pretty glamorous in that trashy New York Dolls sequin and vomit-encrusted way. There's name-dropping and faux humility and the partial lack of insight, the latter of which plagues a lot of drug users. The get out of jail card which allows users to use again in the future is woven through her words and the euphoric recall button is the most used on her psychic keyboard. I don't expect or need Marnell to clean up. I don't really care tbh and that's the problem.

I'm tired of her by page 40. . In the age of Trump, books by narcissists soon wear thin.

Not my usual type of book, but I really enjoyed reading it. I wanted to continue reading to see what happened next in Cat's life. Sometimes I forgot I was reading a true story....

When I picked this book up I had no idea who Cat Marnell was, it was the title and description that grabbed me. As I read it was harder and harder not to google who she was ( I didn't want to spoil the ending!)
I really enjoyed this book - there's a lot of talk about drugs which some readers may not enjoy, but I found it fascinating to hear how the highs and lows felt, and understand the struggle people have.
The fashion and beauty magazine world was also interesting and intriguing - and i now feel like i must've been living under a rock to not have heard of Cat before. . I really enjoyed this read.. it was easy to keep up with what was happening and an interesting insight into a world of addiction Vs ambition.

Cat Marnell has produced one of the most challenging accounts of the experience of drug addiction in association with ADHD and ADD, that I have ever read. There are times when one feels truly terrified for her safety and health as she spirals, out of control and damaged, in the New York drug scene. To be honest I had never heard of her until opening this book and I'm astonished to discover, through research, that the characters and situations that she describes are only too realistic. How she managed to hold down her position at 'Lucky' and survive in the world of Conde Nast is simply astonishing.

The 'voice' of the novel, the tone, speed and chatty delivery make it feel as if Cat is sitting next to you, chain smoking and chatting away..

The final section of the book is heartbreakingly honest and realistic.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wonders about the world around them, the way that the media works in the 21st century and most of all, anyone who knows or is related to an addict of any kind. An astoundingly honest work.