Grant Ginder nails family complexity.

Paul and Alice must deal with the complicated engagement of their half-sister Eloise, and all the trappings and responsibilities that fall on siblings. Paul is focused on tenure and his handsome boyfriend, while Alice is tangled in an affair with her boss. Not only does Alice inconvenience them with a wedding, but she also reminds them of everything they’re not. As the clock ticks closer to the wedding, this story gushes tension and hilarity.

I am so mixed about this book, on one hand I enjoyed the characters. On the other, I thought the author needed a better editor. I was getting lost on pagers with too many pronouns and had to reread often to find who was who. Sometimes I thought the story was interesting and other times, not. It just wasn't that well written. I feel like I need to apologize for the review, but I am being as honest as possible.

Weddings are a time of love and togetherness for most and for other’s its about just getting through the day as unscathed as possible.

The People We Hate At the Wedding by Grant Ginder brings us a blended family of sorts that has oldest daughter Eloise getting married in London and her half brother and sister, Alice & Paul, fighting the urge or avoid it all together.

Their sister is the product of a previous relationship of their mother’s and they feel she has led the privileged life with her wealthy father providing her all the best while they have led one of comfort but not of luxury. In the beginning of this story you are immediately given the cattiness of their feelings towards their sister but as the story progresses you are given more origination of their envy and bitterness.

Doesn’t make it right or likable but it does give them a more human feel and you do sympathize as the novel continues. Family secrets are revealed and in the end they start to pull it together.

The writing was well done and held my interest for sure, even if the characters needed a good throat punch at times. Even though the story didn’t have me laughing out loud like I anticipated, I still found myself wanting to get to the end of find out how everything came together for these characters I had become invested in.

I appreciate receiving this book to review (for an honest opinion) and having Grant Ginder brought to my library as a new author of mine.

Reminded me of Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections, only the lite version.

Sometimes there are unlikeable characters and they compliment the story and it just works, this is not one of those times. I really struggled with getting past the characters and enjoying this story.

I was so looking forward to reading this, and I went into it with an open mind and a desire to like it, not just because of how much I'd heard about it, but also because I was curious to see how this familiar but much-loved conceit would be handled by someone other than a female author. Kudos to the author for never once leading me to raise an eyebrow at either his take on the relationships and situations that feature in the book or his depiction of female interiority. His observations and character portrayals were consistently believable. What I was far less smitten with, unfortunately, was the writing, which felt stiff and a bit paint-by-number to me, and the way in which the novel unfolded, which struck me as very careful to adhere to some formula in the author or publisher's mind for how a novel like this should unfold to best appeal to its projected audience. I had a similar reaction to Donna Tartt's THE GOLDFINCH, and we all know how well that did and how beloved it was on the whole, so, to each her own, I suppose!

Alice and Paul 's mother, Donna, was married to a wealthy Frenchman before she met their father. Alice and Paul grew up with their middle-class mother speaking French, fixing strange French cuisine, and driving a used Ford station wagon. Their older half-sister, Eloise, grew up going to elite boarding schools and had chefs to fix her authentic French cuisine. Eloise tried to fit in when she was with her American family, but Paul and Alice could not help but resent her and her luxurious lifestyle. Now Eloise is getting married in London and wants her siblings and mother there for the festivities. Paul and Alice have to both face the harsh reality that their lives are a mess compared to their older sister. Alice is having an affair with her married colleague and is still mourning her miscarriage years ago. Paul just lost his job and his boyfriend is making comments that lead him to believe their relationship is in jeopardy. Not to mention that his relationship with his mother has been non-existent since his father died. Neither Paul nor Alice are looking forward to this wedding. Will the wedding be the opportunity they need to heal their family or will it be the event that tears them apart for good?

The People We Hate at the Wedding puts the fun back in dysfunctional. Of the three siblings, Paul seems to be the most dysfunctional, but Alice and Eloise and not that far behind. There were times that the dysfunction seemed extreme and was grating on my nerves. I mean - pull it together people. Paul was seriously a hot mess and I thought his boyfriend was a giant douche. He redeemed himself just a little at the very end. Alice didn't really have a good boyfriend picker either, as hers was married. It really made it hard to like her - given her homewrecker status. Eloise was the only one who seemed to be trying to have a relationship with her siblings, but the disparity in the way that they grew up made it tough. The book is told from the alternate viewpoints of the siblings and Donna, their mother. I think Donna was my favorite character of the book - the way that she stood up for Paul was admirable. I was very satisfied with the end of the book - it was realistic and reassuring that the author didn't feel the need to be fake in order to give the reader warm fuzzies.

Bottom line - The People We Hate at the Wedding is a book about a less than perfect family just trying to figure out a way to love each other. It is a good read if you don't let all of the dysfunction get to you.

Details:
The People We Hate at the Wedding by Grant Ginder
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Pages:336
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Publication Date: 6/6/2017
Buy it Here!

These characters are all awful. I wanted to like this book, but I couldn't get past chapter 3.

Did not finish. Neither of the siblings were compelling, but it took too long to get into the why they would hate their half-sibling, other than the money. More time was devoted to a germophobe.

Family gatherings are ripe fields of conflict in life, and in literature. Thanksgivings, birthdays, and funerals all have the potential for drama. The People We Hate At The Wedding, by Grant Ginder, uses the nuptials of a thirty something woman to bring to a head years of animosity between her, her half siblings, and their mother. At times, I loved this book with it's squabbling relations, outrageous rivalries, and the gripping backstories of the main characters. Other times, like a guest at a wedding seated next to the drunken uncle, I just wanted to stop the author from oversharing.


What I Liked:

Characters:

I like the three siblings: Eloise, Alice, and Paul. Each has their own issues and heartbreaking backstories. And the dynamic between the three is fascinating. Alice and Paul always feel that Eloise is their mom's favorite, while Eloise feels like an outsider intruding on the other two's closeness. All of them are proud and this causes misunderstandings between them.



Donna, their mom, is also a complicated character. Her attempts to shield Paul from his homophobic father result in Paul hating his mother. I feel she was treated very poorly by all of her children.



With the exception of Eloise, all the main characters have a preoccupation with how others think of them. They each are rather inept, socially, and this causes them be overly concerned with what clothes they wear, what they say, and how others treat them. It also is the reason they let their romantic partners treat them so badly.



Sibling Interactions:

I think the siblings gossiping about the other was funny. When one calls another, they share secrets, hang up, and them immediately call the third sibling to tell them what happened. It doesn't mean they don't love each other, it is just that the characters can't help themselves.



Plot:

I enjoyed the plot of the book and how all three siblings seem to be at a crossroads. They are each making life-altering decisions. Even as they are bickering with each other, they try to help one another. And by seeing each other's problems, they are able to look at their own problems with more clarity.


What I Didn't Like:

Crude Sex Scenes:

If you read my book reviews with some regularity, you will know that I am not a fan of graphic sex scenes. Once in a while, they do have a place in a novel, but this book's sexy bits were over the top. I don't know if it was because it's played as comical, but I really didn't care for the descriptions in the threesome scene. They are crude, not sexy, and made me want to take a shower afterwards. I would have given this book a much higher rating, had it not been for this.


If you are looking for a "clean romance" this is NOT IT.

Thanks to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for this eArc!

This book has a great title and fun cover, which, along with Kevin Kwan's recommendation sent out by Goodreads, were the reason I requested this title from NetGalley. Unfortunately, I didn't think the book lived up to its packaging and certainly can't be favorably compared to Kwan's Crazy Rich Asians series.

This book is about a family - centering on a mom and three siblings, one of whom had a rich dad and trust fund and two of whom did not. Eloise, the rich sib. is getting married, and everyone else, Alice and Paul, the not-rich sibs and Donna, their mom is heading to London for the wedding. Family, relationship, and personal drama ensue.

Every character here is unlikable to the point that I didn't root for anyone. It took me 2 weeks to get through this and it is because I didn't really care about these people or about the titular wedding. The book doesn't have too much plot and is ostensibly character-driven, even switching perspectives every (long) chapter, but gosh, I just didn't care about them enough to want to know about their problems or feelings.

This may be a case of just not for me, and for what it's worth, the back half of the book moved along much faster than the draggy first half. Maybe I was just excited to be done though. If you're looking for light-ish family drama, try Curtis Sittenfeld's P&P re-write Eligible instead.

I devoured this book on my bus ride to NYC this weekend. I loved-hated this crazy dysfunctional family. I wanted to smack the characters most of the time, but then give them a hug in the next chapter. It also made me incredibly grateful for my functional family.

If you’re dreading going to all of the weddings this summer, I would suggest The People We Hate at the Wedding as a great reminder that with every wedding you have to go to, things could always be worse. And when you’re done reading it, go give your mom a hug (you’ll understand when you’re done).

Grant Ginder's book wins the Best Title award, doesn't it? And then there is that cover. Look at what that photo tells you. Hilarious, in an extremely discomfiting way.

Working for a Los Angeles-based data company, Alice once had dreams of working in the film industry. Those ended catastrophically with a job and relationship in Mexico, one that, when she relates it, will break your heart. Even several years later, she can't pull herself out of the abyss she sunk into. She's in a relationship that's going nowhere, her job isn't much better, and her life is essentially as limp as her hair. So when her older, elegant, and too-perfect half-sister Eloise invites her to be a bridesmaid in her English wedding, Alice says yes.

She wants her younger brother Paul to come, too, but Paul has decided that he loathes Eloise. He's also decided that he loathes his mother Donna, not to mention himself. The only person he doesn't seem to despise is his partner, Mark, something you will find a bit ironic the further you get into the book.

Grant Ginder puts you into the perspectives of most of the characters in this book, particularly Alice, Paul, Eloise, and Donna. The more you get to know them, the more you start to wonder if perhaps they are the ones you'd hate at the wedding. These people are self-involved to an extreme. Even Eloise, whose altruism is delightfully self-serving.

I laughed so hard in parts of this book, and in others I wept. I wanted Alice to find her peace, Paul to recognize his folly, Eloise to be a little more self-aware, and Donna to realize that she did a good job and will be fine. Mostly, I enjoyed the way Grant Ginder tells this story. I loved how he drew his characters, I love how uncontrived it felt, and I love how much I grew to care about these people.

One point to make: the actual wedding is almost a non-event. I'd like to have seen more of how it played out, especially since I'd spent so much time with these people, getting to know them. Would I hate to be with them at a wedding? At the beginning, perhaps. But once the wedding rolled around, I wanted to sit at their table.

Characters to whiny and frustrating to care about. Very slow moving plot.

The People We Hate at the Wedding – Grant Grinder

I generally like books about dysfunctional families. They tend to make me appreciate my own dysfunctional family even more. But this book was so out of left field that I very nearly decided to give up on it, but kept plodding through it just to see how it would end.

The premise was somewhat confusing once you started reading this – yes it did deal with exactly what the synopsis claims, but the ‘why’ of it all was so stupid that I wanted to scream.

Most of this book seemed to dwell on Paul and Mark’s relationship and sexual antics. The sex part was somewhat explicit but not over the top for this sort of book. However, this made for short shrift in dealing with the other members of this family. Oh, Alice got her own part and boy was she a bit whacko, but nothing compared to her brother! And the mother, Donna, well we don’t get much on her at all.

Then there is the not so beloved step-sister Eloise (and this is where I don’t see how this could come together to make a story, even a fictional one) who is hated by her younger brother and sister. She is hated because her father left her well-off? Because she wasn’t there for her step-sister’s emergency? Well so what of it? He wasn’t their father so how could they have such horrid reactions? She had her own problems (such as they were) when her sister had her emergency. Just plain jealousy is what it all turned into.


These are three of the most unlikeable characters I have met and I think had I ever net someone like this in real life I would run not walk away from them as fast as I could run. I have never felt less for character’s as I felt with this bunch…ALL of them. Even during the worst the world threw at this crew, I felt nothing for them. They were shallow, flat, unlikeable drug addicted, drunks, and attention prostitutes.

There is some closure, but not enough.
ARC supplied by publisher/author

If someone could take the worst moments from your life, those missteps, mistakes and bad endings and then use those as your ‘headlines’ as they precede you through every interaction with family, that would just start to explain this book. Three characters are the foundation for this book about family, dysfunction, expectations and appearances as an invitation to a wedding is received. From the mother who doesn’t speak to her son, to her daughter and his sister who has always maintained a level of animosity, the three voices tell their stories in distinct and clearly presented voices. While some family stories are funny, these are the stories that cling to the worst moments for each person described: messy, often mean and unapologetically amusing, if dark – as long as it isn’t your family or your story.

There are old wounds and resentments, finding life in the facades that everyone puts up, many simply for the interactions with (and because of) family. While we never actually get to the wedding, about half-way in these alternating viewpoints of the upcoming wedding and family dynamics, we see the partners of each person chiming in….

All of this presents a wonderful character study that reveals as much about the speakers as those they are speaking on: the thinly veiled insults, the pleasure in discomfiture of others, and the ability of each character to be completely blind to their own part in each dysfunctional moment. I thought that so much of the mean-spirited humor may be wearing: but sometimes the perfectly formed phrase is JUST what is needed, providing an instant (if more than slightly jaded) image of the person, moment or scene unfolding before us. Satire is meant to convey a touch of over-the-top actions and reactions, and most readers will be thankful that their own family and relations aren’t quite to this level, but there are bits that are sure to be familiar to many. Far different from what I expected, the story was quick reading, cleverly phrased and hard to put down. A favorite for those who like their wit to contain a bite, and are happy to see tumult and dysfunction that is (hopefully) far worse than that around their own gatherings.

I received an eArc copy of the title from the publisher via NetGalley for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.

Review first appeared at <a href=” http://wp.me/p3OmRo-8Rz /” > <a> I am, Indeed </a>

This book wasn't really what I expected. I requested thinking it was more along the lines of This is Where I leave You which was funny, engaging, and actually told a story along with being biting and sarcastic in parts. The characters in that one were actually likable. The characters in this book were whiny and self-absorbed I felt. The plot trudged along and actually felt more like a character study in dysfunction rather than being funny or compelling. I also didn't care for the format of the alternating perspectives. It honestly felt like moving from one self-indulging complainer to the next.

I really found the title to be misleading as well since the wedding is just a small part towards the end. The ending also felt abrupt and as if I was left hanging as to what happened when they returned to the US. All in all a disappointing read that could have been a lot better.

The People We Hate at the Wedding immediately struck me – both the title and the cover sucked me right in. I tend to be sarcastic, and at times I have a very sardonic sense of humor, so a book about people we hate at the wedding…sign me up! I wasn’t really sure what I was getting myself into, but the dysfunctional family author Grant Ginder writes for us is deep, difficult and at times hilariously funny, even in their depressive states.

I thought the story telling device of hearing from all of the characters in the book served its point well. We mostly hear from Donna, the mother of the family, and her three children, who each get a turn to tell their story. I enjoy when different view points are revealed to us because I think the perspective builds depth of character. And let me tell you, these are not the most likable people. In fact, I didn’t really know who I was rooting for, or if I was rooting for anyone at all! But, these people are three dimensional and even when they are being horrible to each other, you can see where they are coming from, even though you want to tell them to stop! I have to say I was a little jealous of how they all just laid it out there to each other, saying exactly how they felt. I know a lot of us could use a little bit of that therapy.

The People We Hate at the Wedding is a quick, read. Once I got into the meat of it, I finished it within a couple of days. I thought it was extremely smart and well written, and I highlighted a few quotes that I felt were very poignant. I love when Paul, the brother, says “If a man’s character is to be abused, say what you will, there’s nobody like a relative to do the business,” because it is true. No one can get you like someone you love, and it is the heart of this book. This family obviously loves each other, they just don’t have to be traditional in the way they do it.

I would call this a great summer, beach read, but it is not for the faint of heart – it definitely leans “R” rated, but that was no problem for me. I loved the book and would recommend to anyone who has a dark sense of humor and loves a great story of family dysfunction. I am Really Into It and am ready for more of Ginder’s books.

Special thanks to Grant Ginder, Flatiron Books & NetGalley for providing our copy in exchange for an honest & fair review.

I have found myself on a major dysfunctional character reading binge lately and I absolutely love it. The People We Hate At The Wedding is no exception. Maybe it is because I can absolutely relate to the craziness that was rampant in this hot mess of a family -- from the mother and the son not speaking to each other over a misunderstanding to the animosity Alice harbors towards her half-sister Elosie, or maybe I just needed this snarkiness in my life at the moment. There were moments from the rehearsal on to the end of the book where I actually laughed out loud, but there were also moments were I cringed and wanted to gag (trash can therapy sessions, NO THANK YOU.) This is a story about three siblings who are stumbling along through life, displeased as to where they currently find themselves, jealous of their half-sister who seems to be living the life that they wish they could have lived, and blaming everyone along the way for their problems . Alice (bless her heart) is just stuck in grief over a loss that happened five years ago and she can not move on from it. Paul (Alice’s brother) is an absolute door mat and struggling with what he wants to do with his life and poor Eloise just wants everyone to get along and be the perfect happy family. But not every family is like a Norman Rockwell painting and this particular one has messiness and drama in spades. The only thing that Paul and Alice can seem to agree on is their loathing for Eloise as her impending marriage approaches.
I did feel that this story dragged a bit in the middle and I wish there was more focus on the actual wedding then the time leading up to the big event. That being said, I still found it to be a solid 3.5 star read. If you like snarky characters and flawed families, then this is would be an enjoyable read for you. Many thanks to Netgalley and FlatIron Books for providing me with an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.