I received an arc of this title from NetGalley for an honest review. This book ended up being a DNF for me because I just could not get into the book.

This book has such an incredible powerful message and I was so impressed with the idea that Heather Demetrios conveyed. There are very few novels that represent abusive relationships without physical violence but this was so fantastically written, I am so glad that I was able to read and enjoy this.

Grace dreams of being anywhere but home where her stepfather, The Giant, rules through fear. Her solace is her friends, theater, and dreaming of where she'll be after graduation. Enter Gavin, high school rock star. They fall in love and things become toxic.

This book had me from page one. The language was gripping, the characters engaging, and the pacing was excellent. From the moment I started, I needed to know what would happen, how everything would end. I enjoyed the narration style, of Future Grace lamenting the red flags she ignored, wishing she had simply walked away, a million things. It was heart-wrenching and real.

Raw and poignant - every woman should read this & be self-aware in case she ever finds herself in this kind of toxic relationship. Must-read!

Bad Romance by Heather Demetrios kind of solidifies my opinion of Demetrios’ books. THEY ARE SO GOOD. I have zero regrets about reading I’ll Meet You There after Andi talked it up on Twitter. I knew after really falling for that book that I wanted to prioritize whatever Demetrios has out next that comes my way. Hence just about gobbling down Bad Romance. This book is so upsetting and uplifting and important. I do not know that I could properly convey just how legitimate this book is.

Heather Demetrios’ Bad Romance is all about this girl named Grace. Grace starts the book as a junior who lives in a small California town. She is dying to get out. Her mother and stepfather view her as a sort of servant. I mean, she gets in trouble if there is one single speck of dust on the floor, or even an imaginary speck. She hates it. However school is sort of an escape. Grace has this wonderful group of friends and she especially loves her theater class and group of friends. There is this one guy in Grace’s theater class that has caught her eye. He is basically magnetic. However, she does not think that she can land him in a million years. Only, she does. He breaks up with his girlfriend and well eventually starts dating Grace.

The romance between Gavin and Grace is great at first. They fall for each other pretty quick -as it happens with teenagers sometimes. What feels like a great and loving relationship starts to feel stifling though. Gavin has a few, um, issues to work through. He starts to get insecure and controlling. It gets to the point that Grace’s friends notice. Still, she won’t break up with him. She remembers all of the good times. It’s pretty startling how realistic it is. Also, Gavin has stayed in town for her. She feels tied to him. Not to mention, even Gavin’s parents are in on it. Now I don’t want to spoil Bad Romance for you, but believe me, this sours in a realistic progression. Furthermore, there’s ANOTHER romance involved which is much more healthy and fluttery and while that didn’t quite end on the note I wanted it to, it was a nice addition and contrast to Grace and Gavin.

The characterization within Bad Romance is TOO real. I mean, listen, I can relate to both Grace and Gavin, as terrible as that is. Grace does not always have the most self confidence. Yet, she has some pretty big dreams. I have been there. I have also engaged in relationship behaviors that are not the most healthy. Unlike these two, I realize as an adult that it does take a lot of work on yourself to be a much more healthy person in relationships and not quite so toxic. There’s parts where Gavin gaslights Grace and I can say yup been there, super easy to relate to Grace. I also liked that for Grace there was a reckoning and that there is hope for her. She is a really well written character and well, by the end I just was cheering for her.

I 100% could not recommend this book more. It is compelling. It’s harsh. Bad Romance is extremely well written. I think that if you like contemporary books that deal with actual issues without going totally over the top and around the bend, you will enjoy this book. Plus, that ending just is so affirming.

Grades 9 - 12: It starts with a line from the musical "Rent" - "Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. That's how long it takes me to start falling out of love with you." In the beginning, Grace can't believe her good fortunate. Ultra talented bad boy, Gavin, has recently become available. He's broken, but available, and--miracle of miracles--he is attracted to Grace. At first, she can't believe her good fortune. After all, her personal life is a red hot mess led by an abusive stepfather and a mother who is rapidly becoming neurotic as a result. Gavin becomes Grace's savior, and his heroic shine, coupled with the unconditional love his parents shower Grace with, works to create a bond that is almost impossible to escape. Things become complicated when Gavin graduates. Grace, now in her senior year, is starting to come into her own, but Gavin is demonstrating signs of irrational jealousy. As the embrace of love becomes an unbearable chain, Grace begins to look for ways out. Gavin, however, has mastered the threat of suicide as a way to keep his lovers close. Demetrios capable captures how loyalty twisted by manipulation becomes a cage. She doesn't shy away from adding sex into the mix, with a frank examination of how a sexual relationship can turn from intimacy to control to borderline rape. The author's note and resources at the back make this an important part of a young adult library collection. Verdict: This is a title that is appropriate for mature readers, but which deals with issues that will lead to good conversations about healthy relationships.
Curricular Use: This is a title that is too mature for many freshman health classes; however, Demetrios examines relationships in a such a real way that any girl who has become dating or sexually active should be exposed to the book.

I absolutely love this book and the way that it shows just how insidious bad relationships can be. Gavin didn't start out being emotionally abusive to Grace--instead, he slowly--so slowly--isolated her from her friends and her other life. He made himself the center of her world and every time she tried to fight back, he threatened to either end their relationship or hurt himself.

It shows that abusive relationships don't start with a punch to the face--instead, they start as you slowly cede control to someone else. And it's so hard to take that control back.

This is essential reading for everyone. Highly recommended.

Grace doesn't have a nice life at home. Her mom is obsessed with cleaning and her stepfather Roy is a posessive, bossy and who hates her. She loves musicals and she dreams she can get out of this life in a small California town and into a more fun life in New York and Paris where she can study something artistic.But for now she just has to do with high school, where she is in the drama department when she hears that a boy named Gavin had tried to commit suicideAnd then she meets Gavin. Gavin is everything Grace wants. He is in a band and soon they fall in love. Their romance is like a rollercoaster. It starts fast and good but later on, Gavin starts to become controlling and dangerous. Soon Grace finds out their relationship is like a prison that is almost impossible to escape.

Bad Romance is a YA novel that deals with quite some serious topics. There where quite some scenes in this book that where though, and not that suitable for younger readers. Besides that this book was very gripping. Grace stayed positive altough she had to deal with a load of negativity. Her home situation is just as much a prison as her relationship with Gavin in the end. She really thinks that Gavin is her escape from home, only to figure out the is knee deep into more trouble, just the same as her mother, who is wasting away in the overcontrolling grip of her abusive stepfather.
Lucky for Grace, she has some best friends who try to help her wherever they can, and one of them really is her saving angel at the end of the book.

The point of view the author used was also interesting and original. The book is told from Grace's pov who almost uses the ''you'' form as a narration, which really worked for this book.
I just loved the writing style of the author, it makes you keep turning pages! It really made me curious for the other books by this author!

Overall a more serious YA novel with some scenes not suitable for younger teens, but definately a book worth reading!

Heather Demetrios has continually hit it out of the park with her contemporary novels. (I haven’t read her fantasy, so I have no comment on that.) She combines a powerful voice, a strong concept, a skill with banter, and a deft hand with relationship building and narrative arcs for contemporary novels that really punch you in the feels with both happiness and sadness. Bad Romance departs from the HEA romance arena for a heavy-hitting, unflinching study of a toxic relationship, and it’s Demetrios’ best yet.


YA has myriad books about toxic friendships. Give me a few minutes, and I could list a whole host of them. Dahlia could reel off probably twice as many off the top of her head. That’s great and important, but Demetrios is focusing on a toxic romance (as well as toxic parents, though those already abound in YA). This certainly isn’t the first book to do so (Seventeen First Kisses by Rachael Allen is another good example, as is Play On by Michelle Smith), but it’s the most focused.

Bad Romance delves in deep, and it’s one of those rare cases where I don’t mind that the secondary characters mostly aren’t as developed, because the whole book is Grace working through everything that’s happened to her. She pays attention to Gavin and to her mother, because they are the ones who have fucked her up the most. Her dad and the Giant (step-dad) are also toxic, but they didn’t ever get in her heart, so they’re not the relationships she’s attempting to process.

If you’ve hung around me for a while, you’ve probably heard me rant about how much I second person (ironically, I’m using it right now). Without a compelling reason, I don’t think it should be used in fiction. Fight me. Actually don’t. Bad Romance is one of the rare cases where I completely get and appreciate second person. The book is written like a letter to Gavin, and, in this case, that makes the whole thing so much more impactful and immediate. Brava, Demetrios.

One of the choices Demetrios made was to tell the story of this toxic relationship reflectively. At the start of the novel, Grace has finally escaped the relationship, and then she goes back to tell everything from the start, to figure out what signs she missed and where things went wrong. Throughout, there are moments where Grace leaves her narrative to comment on what’s happening, and those moments inevitably feel like a dagger to the heart. The dramatic irony inherent to this method of storytelling could have lessened the immediacy, but it actually makes the happy times painful and hard to take, because you know what’s coming. The amount of times I had to put Bad Romance down and take a break because my heart couldn’t take it was a lot. It took me over a week to finish, despite the fact that I loved this book from the start.

While the subject matter is uniformly depressing and rage-inducing, the narrative voice makes the book digestible. Grace is funny and clever, and there’s a seam of humor running throughout most of the book. It’s one of the best examples of narrative voice I’ve read in a while. I often struggle to get through darker contemporary fiction, but Demetrios’ use of balance made this work for me.

Speaking of rage-inducing, I have a lot of hate for Grace’s mother, father, and step-dad. They’ve completely destroyed her self-esteem. They basically treat her like Cinderella. She’s expected to prepare meals for her asshole step-dad, babysit every day, and pay rent the moment she turns eighteen; she receives no affection whatsoever, is treated like a burden, and regularly made late to school or work because her mom will not drive her. Grace alone cleans the house, and she’s expected to deep clean it absolutely every day; the barest speck of dust left anywhere brings her mother down on her head. They are way beyond the usual terrible YA parents. The loathing I feel for them can only be expressed with a mace, basically. It’s impressive that Demetrios can get me to empathize with Grace’s mother, who suffers from OCD among other serious issues, though I can never forgive her. « Hide Spoiler

Because of the environment in which Grace lives, she’s an easy target for a guy like Gavin. At first, their romance is idyllic, perfect, everything she ever dreamed. She’d been crushing on him for years, and she suddenly got him by writing him a sweet note after he attempted suicide when his prior girlfriend dumped him. That’s sign number one.

The most important takeaway from this relationship is that something that seems to perfect probably is. People aren’t perfect, and someone who rhapsodizes about how absolutely perfect you are may be prepping you for a fall. And pop culture in no way prepares people for this, because most stories end with the couple just getting together; I’m so suspicious now of the “perfect” love interests. Gavin builds Grace up, gets her to crave his approbation, and then he begins to tear her back down. It’s painful to watch, especially because Grace’s self-esteem is already so low; of course, that’s why he wanted her. Trust your friends and listen to your instincts. Don’t let someone put you down or tell you who you can spend time with. I love her new love interest, but it’s also a rare case where I’m really glad that Grace ends up single, at least for now. « Hide Spoiler

Bad Romance is one of those books I love fiercely, and I literally have nothing negative to say about it whatsoever. But I don’t know if I could ever read it again, because youch. It’s worth the pain, though, and teens absolutely need a book that shows the ways that relationships can become toxic.

Drawing from the author's own experience of a toxic relationship, Bad Romance is a rough and raw read that follows one teen's descent into an abusive relationship. Grace has a tough life and is waiting for someone to save her. Her stepfather is verbally abusive and any small trigger can set off her contrite, subservient mother. Grace has only known on how to be on survival mode. She just has to keep her head down at home, work hard to save money for college applications, and maintain high grades to qualify for scholarships. Grace wants an escape and a way to raise her depleted self esteem. Enter Gavin, the most talented, hottest, and charming senior in school. Grace feels like she is given a break when Gavin, the most talented and charming senior in school, notices her.

Written from hindsight after escaping her unhealthy relationship with Gavin, Grace reflects on how she worked herself in and out of a toxic situation. With searing honesty and no holds back, we are taken on a dark journey of Grace's relationships, both familial and romantic, until she has found the strength and confidence to get out of it. It is important to note that with the exception of her friends, Grace is consistently surrounded by negativity, emotionally unstable adults, and not shown what a healthy relationship entails, which may be the reason why she is so susceptible to a toxic relationship. She only knows the story-book kind of love. Grace savors the attention from Gavin and everyone who notices them together. She rides the high of her romantic relationship. There are plenty of red flashing neon signs of danger that Gavin gives off such as limiting who Grace can talk to and how much time she must spend with him, many of which her friends and her sister point out, but at first Grace chalks up to as "tiny details" that she is willing to give up in order to maintain her perfect relationship. Before Grace knows it, she is back again in survival mode when her relationship becomes too constricting and she has lost her identity. Now, all her dreams seem to be slipping out of her grasp as she realizes that the perfect relationship she dreamed of is twisting out of control.

It is clear that Gavin needs serious help, but he emotionally blackmails Grace into believing she is responsible for his mental health and being if she ever leaves him. Grace needs out of the relationship, but she also needs help in doing so. We cheer as she finds the power to do so.

Though hard to read because of its content, Bad Romance is a dark, realistic look at dating violence and abusive relationships, a story that is best suited for older high school readers. Demetrios expertly conveys the suffocating feeling of life in a dysfunctional family and the longing of teens to be on their own. It will serve as a great book for teens and their parents to discuss.

Such an intensely powerful and important story. Could not put it down. I urge everyone to read this.

The message in this book is massively important. But for me, the way it was written just fell short of my expectations. This one for me really dragged and although I still think that the message was very important I think that it just needed a little more to get it going. The message/situation could have been more powerful too. I think that this one shyed away from making this an amazing book and it just needed a little more spark.

A must purchase for high school! The book sends a powerful message to anyone in an abusive relationship. Based on the author's own experiences, main character Grace must navigate through her first real love and learn what it means to put yourself first. I loved th power of friendship in this book. As a reader, you will be pulling for Grace throughout.

***Review posted on The Eater of Books! blog***

Bad Romance by Heather Demetrios
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR)
Publication Date: June 13, 2017
Rating: 4 stars
Source: ARC sent by the publisher

Summary (from Goodreads):

Grace wants out. Out of her house, where her stepfather wields fear like a weapon and her mother makes her scrub imaginary dirt off the floors. Out of her California town, too small to contain her big city dreams. Out of her life, and into the role of Parisian artist, New York director—anything but scared and alone.

Enter Gavin: charming, talented, adored. Controlling. Dangerous. When Grace and Gavin fall in love, Grace is sure it's too good to be true. She has no idea their relationship will become a prison she's unable to escape.

Deeply affecting and unflinchingly honest, this is a story about spiraling into darkness—and emerging into the light again.

What I Liked:

Ignore my rating a little - it's so difficult to rate books like these, because they are so powerful and intense and meaningful. Tough-issue contemporary novels are difficult books to write, difficult books to read, difficult books to rate. That doesn't mean they can't be "bad" and you can't dislike them. In this book's case, it was wonderfully written and so, so heartbreaking, and I can't help but be in awe of the author for writing such a tragic, intense, and hopeful story. This is an excellent contemporary story dealing with an abusive relationship and negligence and cruelty of parents. I usually avoid tough-issue contemporary novels, but I loved this book and I'm so glad I told myself to try it.

The story starts with Grace telling the story from the beginning. She has a horrible home life - her mother and stepfather treat her like a slave, and she constantly has to give up social plans and homework time to do excessive chores and babysit her half-brother. She loves being in school, especially drama/theater class. especially since Gavin Davis is in the class. Gavin's girlfriend breaks up with him, and soon after, he and Grace start to hang out more. Grace has had a crush on him for forever, and she is thrilled with his attention. They fall in love hard and fast, and become inseparable. Even after he graduates from high school (he was a senior and she was a junior), they remain committed, as he goes to a state school nearby. But even from the start, little things start to happen that alarm Grace a little more each time. It takes Grace a year to realize that the relationship is a prison, and she'll need to escape before she, or someone else, gets hurt.

There are two big "issues" in this book - the abusive relationship, of course, and parents' treatment of Grace. I'll comment on the latter. Grace's mother is awful - she has OCD, and she makes Grace clean the house over and over. Grace is late to work, to school, to the SATs, but it doesn't matter to her mother, because all her mother seems to focus on is a tiny smudge, or whether the doors are locked, or if the curling iron was unplugged. Grace's mother is a terrible person, even without the OCD that constantly ruins Grace's life. Grace's stepfather (nicknamed the Giant, by Grace) is even worse. He is verbally abusive to Grace's mother. He starts making Grace pay weekly rent. He threatens to kick her out, and yells when she doesn't do her slave work.

Honestly, reading about this type of home life really makes me appreciate how good my home life was when I was seventeen years old (five years ago! Wow!). Even now, too. I don't have a stepparent (thank goodness. I know many stepparents are wonderful people, and many biological parents are awful, but I'm so grateful for MY parents, for the type of people they are), and I have no idea what I would do if either of my parents got remarried (if they were divorced). It's a situation that a child can't control - and this is so evident, in Grace's case. The Giant is a disgustingly cruel human being. He is verbally abusive (not sexually or physically abusive, thank goodness for that), and he is the type of person that deserves a very bad and lonely life in prison.

Same goes for Grace's mother. And Gavin.

Don't get me wrong, as much as I hated Grace's mother and stepfather, I loved how well Demetrios wrote their characters. My heart broke for Grace every time she interacted with either of them. Demetrious did such a good job of breaking down Grace's home life. It's awful and no child or adult should ever have to live like that.

And then there is the other side of the "tough issues" of this book - the relationship between Gavin and Grace. Gavin isn't an obvious psychotic person - he seems like a hot, charming rocker type who is in a band and also in theater. He's a smooth talker and knows how to manipulate just about anyone - Grace included. You wouldn't know that Gavin is a verbally abusive and manipulative boyfriend, if you weren't his girlfriend.

The jealousy, the possessiveness, the cutting remarks and occasional name-calling, the emotional manipulation - it was heartbreaking and so saddening to read. None of these things were obvious to Grace for much of the book. And even when she started to realize that there was something not right about their relationship, she kept forgiving him, or getting manipulated by him and getting sucked back in. This was so well-written by Demetrios. I wanted to scream at Grace every time she went back to Gavin - but at the same time, I totally understood. You know what I mean?

Demetrios nailed the progression of the bad romance, Gavin's instability, Grace's indecision. This story was so well-paced and well-written, as heartbreaking and intense as it was. I couldn't stop reading even as I wanted to break down and cry for Grace. Grace is so many girls and women in the world today, you know?

The romance is "bad" (obviously) - a harmful type of romance. But Demetrios builds it in such a way that at first, you'll swoon and fall in love too. If there is one that Demetrios always does well, in all of her books, it is a swoony romance. In this case, it's a swoony romance gone wrong. You're probably thinking, "ew Alyssa, why would you say that the romance is swoony?" But that's just it - just like Grace, you'd never know that Gavin is abusive. You'd think that these two are the cutest couple.

I have to say, I a d o r e d the friendship between Grace and her best friends Natalie and Alyssa (yay, fellow Alyssa!). Natalie and Alyssa are so solid, supportive, kickbutt, and awesome. There is no girl drama or catfighting in this book, as many YA books often feature (pitting friends against each other in some way). The girls support Grace even as they warn her away from Gavin and tell her how they feel about him and how he treats Grace. The powerful female friendship in this book makes this book even stronger. I loved seeing this healthy relationship between the three girls, especially given how broken Grace's relationships with so many others were.

You may be wondering, is there another romance in this book? A healthier one? Does Grace find true love with someone else? I'll let you find out when you read the book. This book focuses on Grace and Gavin's romance, and I'll leave it at that.

The ending is very, very uplifting. I was so glad to see Grace stand up with two feet on the ground, and move forward, and never look back. There is a HEA in this book, though the story doesn't lend itself to one. I was a huge fan of the ending.

On a bit of a side note, I'm just going to say it - I loved that religion was a somewhat large part of this story. Natalie is Christian and devotedly so - honestly I feel like she is a carbon copy of me (dresses conservatively, doesn't curse, etc.). YA books tend to not include any mention of religion, which doesn't really bother me, but I liked seeing religion portrayed as a very positive aspect of Natalie's life. And I loved how respectful Grace was, and Alyssa too.

Bad Romance is an intense and heartbreaking story, one that I wouldn't read under usual circumstances. I'm a huge fan of Heather Demetrios's books, so I knew I was going to try this one, even if it was out of my comfort zone. This book is one that makes you think, one that makes you appreciate what you have, one that makes you angry for the women who go through these situations.

What I Did Not Like:

I have no dislikes to state, but for anyone looking for trigger warnings: note that this book has verbal abuse, some physical abuse (by Grace's mom), a very manipulative relationship (Grace and Gavin), and a scene of non-consent between Grace and Gavin.

Would I Recommend It:

I highly recommend this book to any girl, any woman, any reader, really. But especially to all the young women out there. Sometimes it's hard to get up and say no, and walk away. I'm sure many of us know a woman who struggled and maybe is still struggling in an abusive and manipulative relationship of some sort. This isn't my usual type of read as I tend to avoid YA contemporary, but I'm glad I read it. There are so many lessons to be learned from the book. The most important, to me, is to love yourself and stand up for yourself.

Rating:

4.5 stars. This book was an excellent read. I don't know if I have the heart to reread it (hence the 4-star rating - 5 stars, to me, are reserved for new favorites that I want to reread over and over). But this book will have a place in my heart. I loved Demetrios's Dark Caravan Cycle series (Exquisite Captive, Blood Passage, Freedom's Slave), and I'm happy to say that I loved this book too.

Damn, dude. Demetrios is keeping it real. I have so many thoughts and feelings about Bad Romance that stem from experience. I’m going to keep it as short as possible and not ramble.

It’s so refreshing to see an author tackle this subject matter in such a realistic and relateable way. It kills me when certain behaviors are romanticized when they’re actually very unhealthy, so I’m glad Demetrios hits on several of them. People don’t always see that they’re in an abusive relationship while they’re in it, and even when they do, it can be difficult to remove yourself from it for a number of reasons. Abuse doesn’t always come with fists, and that’s something Grace had to learn.

Grace’s situation is infuriating, but is unfortunately a reality for many people. She has shitty, manipulative parents that treat her like crap. She observes how her stepdad treats her mom, so it isn’t a stretch that she would get sucked into an abusive relationship while trying to fill that void and escape her home life.

Friends play an important role, and I love how instrumental in Grace’s life they are. I’ve had close friends who were in relationships very similar to this, even worse. It’s hard as a friend to be able to see so clearly what’s happening but not be able to do anything when they stay with the person. You just want to shake them to make them see it for what it is and get them to leave. Even worse is when then do realize it and stay. Grace’s friends are an amazing support system that I wish everyone could have.

Gideon is a fantastic addition. I’m happy Demetrios included the situation with him, because it carries an important message. I was really worried it was going to turn into the stereotype of the girl in a bad relationship getting rescued by another guy. I’ve seen that type of situation play out with several girls in real life. They feel the new guy is the solution and use it as a way out. Some are afraid to leave the toxic relationship because they don’t think anyone else will love them, so don’t leave until they find someone else who does. That wasn’t it in this case. At all. Instead, it showed that you shouldn’t rely on a guy to fix it for you. Gideon showed her what a healthy relationship could consist of, but in the end she didn’t fall into the cycle of using a guy to find happiness. You have to fix you, not rely on someone else. I love that he was such a great support and gave her some perspective, though.

It makes me cringe when I think about how I almost skipped Bad Romance. I’m so thankful I didn’t, because now I can recommended a great book with an important message. Buy this book for your daughters, sisters, granddaughters and any other female in your life. Actually, try to get the boys to read it, too.

I’m especially glad that Demetrios included several sources for help in the back of the book. I’m going to include a couple websites here:

I had a hard time with this book because it was so real! I truly felt for the main character Grace. Highschool is a hard time as is, add dating and things can get worse. This book was a need for the YA community. So many people think abuse is only physical. Emotional abuse can be just as damning, the way it can just erase the person who you are and replace it with a shell.

This book is a must read. I do not want to say to much more because every part plays a major role. Do yourself a favor and read this book. Make sure you read all the way through because the acknowledgments will give you an understanding of the author!

Four Stars!

If Bad Romance had been written by anyone other than Heather Demetrios, I would not have picked it up. I don't handle tough books like Bad Romance well, and reading this reminded me why exactly I avoid them. Plain and simple, they stress me out. I'm very torn about my feelings towards this book. On the one hand, the book does a stunning job at showing the progression of a toxic romance - it's going to beneficial to many many teens. On the other hand, I don't know if I can say that I "enjoyed" the book because of how anxious it made me feel.

Bad Romance is not an easy book to read. Like I said, I felt very stressed reading it, but also I was just so blisteringly angry throughout the whole thing. Grace, the protagonist here, was surrounded by one shitty person after the other. She can't catch a break with her emotionally abusive mom, her dick of a stepfather, then enter, Gavin, grade A manipulative asshole. I felt for this girl because no one deserves to be used and manipulated the way Grace was. Despite her heartbreaking home life, she remained optimistic that her future would be brighter. I don't know how Grace managed to remain so strong throughout it all. Thankfully, Grace does have a fantastic support system in the form of her best friends, who were a bright spot in this otherwise dark story.

As readers, you get to see the abusive relationship slowly unfold before your eyes. At first glance, Gavin was charming, a sweet-talker, and a romantic guy, and he easily succeeded in sweeping Grace off her feet and provided her with the love and solace she couldn't find at home. Demetrios did a great job at convincing readers that Gavin was the perfect guy for Grace initially. Throughout the story, we begin to see cracks in Gavin's character, and eventually, we scrutinize every action of his. He goes from being charming to manipulative, often showing jealous tendencies, controlling who Grace hangs out with, and name-calling her. Every single time though, Grace forgives him because he promises never to do it again. It's hard watching her constantly fall for his fake apologies and his declarations of love.

While the progression of the toxic relationship was excellent and thought-provoking, it was how and when Grace begins to take actions to get out of the relationship is where I started to find some issues. Grace saw all the red flags in her mother's relationship with her step dad, and her friends and her sister warn her that she needs to break up with Gavin, and she doesn't exactly heed them, and this was all understandable, because the cycle of abuse is one that's hard to break. What I took issue with though is that it took another guy, Gideon, entering the picture for Grace to begin rethinking her relationship with Grace. I'm just not sure I liked the message that that sends out to teen readers at all.

I also was not a fan of this particular paragraph in the book:

"Gideon and his parents are what you’d call spiritual but not religious. I haven’t been to his house, but I can imagine incense burning next to a statue of Buddha, which sits against a wall with a cross on it. There’s probably a yoga mat on the floor and, I don’t know, Indian Hindu songs playing in the background."

I don't even know where to begin with how stereotypical of Buddhists and Indians this is with incense and yoga mats. First of all, Buddhism and Hinduism are very very different. Then there's the whole "Indian Hindu songs" description which makes me shake my head. The word Demetrios is looking for here is Hindi. Hindi is a language. Hindu refers to a person who follows Hinduism. This is something that could have easily been fixed with a Google search. How did an editor not catch this? *shakes head* Anyways, this whole paragraph was so unnecessary. Just say his parents are spiritual and be done with it. The cliched depiction just annoys me.

As you can tell, I have conflicted feelings towards Bad Romance. I feel bad for not loving the full message of the book given this is a very personal story for Heather Demetrios, and while I don't deny that this is the sort of book that might help lots of teens, I'm just not happy with how things resolved. I also wish we had more of a resolution when it comes to her relationship with her mom - and what happened to Sam, her brother? Bad Romance is thought-provoking, but it had some issues in my opinion.

Reading Bad Romance by Heather Demetrios is like watching a train wreck occur before you very eyes, in slow motion: you are horrified, but at the same time, you are unable to look away. The novel is emotional from beginning to end, as it explores the discourse surrounding toxic relationships, and complex family connections.

Heather Demetrios’ novel is one of the most gut-wrenching, emotional YA contemporaries I have ever read. I think it’s fair to say I have never read something like this before, as many YA novels tend to shy away from the harmful side of romance.

There were many times while reading this book where I wanted to shout at Grace and tell her to look at the signs. There were many times I wanted to shake her for her inability to leave him when she starts to recognise his unhealthy behaviour. But that is the very point of the novel; that is what the novel is trying to show: that no matter how badly you want out of a bad relationship, sometimes, it is not that easy. I have never had a Gavin of my own (thank God), so I came to this book with a completely different perspective, but the novel soon opened my eyes. Bad Romance is certainly a novel that everyone should read – it is so powerful, so heartbreaking, and so inspiring, I want to give a copy to every person I know so they can learn that they don’t always need to choose romance: they can choose themselves.

What stood apart immediately was the use of second-person narration. I have never read a novel that utilises this type of narration before, and I have to admit, it does take some getting used to. It gives the impression of Grace relating a letter to Gavin, of her explaining their history together, from the perspective of hindsight. Once you get used to the narration style, the novel seamlessly flows from one scene to the next. The plot is quite simple in that there is not much action: the novel follows Grace for almost two years, as she meets Gavin, becomes his girlfriend, falls for him, and slowly becomes scared of him. But the heavy content and beautiful writing more than makes up for the slow plot. But given the novel’s subject, the slow plot makes sense, as the reader is following along with Grace on her journey from loving Gavin, to hating him.

Gavin’s abuse comes in the form of verbal and emotional, and I think this was a deliberate decision on the author’s part. Gavin never physically harms Grace (as in raising his hand to her), but he hurts her in a myriad of other ways. It is important to show the reader, most of whom are probably young adults themselves, that abuse comes in many different forms, not just the physically violent. A boyfriend can love you deeply, can treat you like a princess, but still talk down to you and try to isolate you from your family and friends – this type of behaviour is also domestic abuse, but many people, including society, don’t treat it as such.

Gavin first treats Grace as if she is unintelligent. before moving on to controlling who she is allowed to be alone around, to forcing her to give up on her dreams, and finally, attempting to cut her friends out of her life – thankfully, Grace has the best friends in the history of the world who do not allow this to happen. Grace’s best friends, Natalie and Alyssa, are the novel’s most wonderful characters – they love Grace with all their hearts, and are always there for her, even when Gavin tries to isolate her. As true friends, they pick up on Gavin’s controlling behaviour long before Grace does, and try to warn her of this. Honestly, this novel has some of the best examples of female friendship I have read in years, and is a powerful reminder that us girls always need our bffs.

Grace is a very sympathetic character, and one I formed an emotional connection with almost immediately, even though there were times I grew incensed by her decisions (or lack thereof). Her mother has a severe mental illness, which is increased by her husband’s controlling behaviour, and Grace is viewed as her household’s slave: she is not allowed to hang out with her friends or go to parties until she has scrubbed the skirting boards, and she is constantly late to school and exams because her mother needs to lock the doors for the twelfth time in a row. There were many times I was angered on Grace’s behalf, and it is very easy to see how a girl who works as her family’s Cinderella, is swept off her feet by a sensitive, tortured soul/musician like Gavin.

There isn’t much else I can say, aside from, ‘Read this haunting novel and be prepared to cry your eyes out.’ I think Bad Romance is a novel many people should strive to read, particularly because of the messages the novel promotes (if you can handle such triggers). This novel is powerfully realistic and will open your eyes to the negative, harmful side of ‘unconditional’ romance.

MY GOODREADS FIRST IMPRESSIONS FOLLOWED BY BLOG REVIEW:

This has to be one of THE hardest books I've ever read. The entire time I had a knot in my throat & found myself cringing in certain scenes. Trigger warning: Physical & mental abuse, suicide, and rape. A character study that takes you back to the very beginning of the main protog's mental state & the slow and painful decline to the shell of a person left behind. As hard as it was to read, I can't deny how well the author captured the human psyche. Perhaps because this story is derived from the authors own personal experience. I am still thinking of this story & its characters, worried about them in the aftermath. Full review to come on my blog LairOfBooks.

FINAL REVIEW....

PLOT

Bad Romance is one of those books that will remain within me for years to come as a reminder of what could’ve been had I continued in my own toxic relationship. This book resonated with me for personal reasons but also stood out amongst all the Young Adult Contemporaries I’ve read so far in 2017. This isn’t a easy fluffy summer time read however, it is a much needed one. Bad Romance can be used as a conversation starter within the Young Adult community & help bridge gaps between Young Adults and their parents. Demetrios gives us Grace who is 17 going on 18 in High School with BIG dreams of one day living an artsy bohemian life in New York City. She lives with her mother, step-father, and baby brother from her mothers re-marriage. Life isn’t at all easy for Grace who doesn’t live a typical teenage life. She lives in a abusive home where toxic behaviors are what she’s come to view as normal. Told in second person POV, Grace is observing the changes in her relationship with her mother as her mother slowly becomes unhinged. See, Grace’s mother herself is the victim of verbal, mental, and physical abuse (implied) at the hands of her husband. Demtrios shows us a mother trying to keep her new family together while she teeters on the verge of a mental breakdown. Grace on the other hand has just caught the attention of the most popular guy in school who she knows comes with his own baggage. From the 1st compliment to the 1st date & what eventually leads to a volatile relationship, we the reader are taken on the slow progression that is Grace & Gavin’s own toxic relationship. Gavin knows just what to say at all times & just how to get his way. From afar he seems like the perfect boyfriend but when we start this story, it is with the knowledge Grace has already learned the hard way. She shows us how easy it was to fall for someone who was already broken when all you’ve know all your life is abuse…

CHARACTERS

Center stage we have Grace & Gavin but this is a story where the supporting character roles are all equally as important. The Grace we meet on page 1 already knows how everything unfolds since it’s told in second person POV. We get to see her regrets and the view she give us can best be described as removing the rose colored glasses. Grace is just trying to get to graduation so that she can start her new life as a college student far away from her toxic home life. This means she’s learned how to deal with her mothers OCD as best she could & has learned to be submissive to avoid confrontation. Her relationship with her mother plays out on the pages giving you perspective on the cycle of abuse Grace is caught in through no fault of her own. We meet the step dad & he’s no easy pill to swallow which makes your heart break even more so for Grace’s mom.

Somehow, In the past five years, that mom disappeared. Little by little, she floated away, a leaf on the breeze. Now, the air between us is heavy; it’s been too long since we’ve laughed together, talked. How do you relearn love?
Gavin almost seems like a savior when Grace first meets him. She is aware of his troubled past & his failed suicide attempt yet that doesn’t keep her away, it actually serves to lure her in. She admires his resolve and rocker lifestyle but most of all it’s the attention he provides her with that she holds on to. For a girl like Grace who already feels invisible at home except for when she’s needed to scrub the floors or babysit, this new attention became a drug. Gavin himself suffers with depression, anxiety, and paranoia. There isn’t a moment that goes by that he isn’t thinking, living, breathing Grace.

We also meet Nat & Lys who are best friends with Grace, these girls are the true definition of friendship. They know their girl is in a toxic abusive relationship and encourage her to leave that behind every chance they get. They don’t ever leave her side but they also don’t sugar coat anything & didn’t enable her to continue on with Gavin. This friendship was the sunshine in Graces’ very dark, turbulent, and abusive life. I kept hope alive for all of these characters & found myself relating to Grace but ultimately accepting that just like my own toxic relationship with my mother, some things are left unresolved. These characters are heavily flawed & rough around the edges, their pain often times jumping off the pages.

WRITING & FINAL THOUGHTS

I’ve never read a book like Bad Romance and I was absolutely caught off guard, this book brought back memories of a past life. I can’t help but think that if this book had been written back then, that maybe I would have found solace in its pages. I was that young adult in a toxic relationship trying to escape my real issues at home with my own mother. This won’t be an easy read & that’s why I decided to include trigger warnings in this review. Emotionally draining, heartbreaking, and flinchingly honest, Demetrios gives you the ugly raw insides of abusive relationships. Inspired by the authors personal experience, Bad Romance is as real as it gets. Demtrios tackles topics that are more often than not kept hidden in shame & suffered alone. As tough as it was to read this book, I can’t deny that it was because I saw myself in these pages. I’ll be looking out for more from this author and others, especially writing that exposes the ugly in order to start the healing. This is not a story with a happy ending, this is a story with hope & a message for those who may or may not be ready to receive it…

In the Authors Note, Demtrios provided some helpful organizations & I’ve decided to also include them in my review:

Dayoneny.org

Breakthecycle.org

Nomore.org

*HUGE thanks to Macmillan/Henry Holt & Co., Netgalley & Heather Demetrios for the eGalley copy of Bad Romance, all opinions are my own.