I certainly didn't expect this to be the lighthearted read of "Where Did You Go, Bernadette?", but this book is haunting. It leads you into this dark path of trying to figure out the truth of Billie's death/disappearance. This was a good mystery which kept me turning pages past my bedtime. Mostly because I felt there was a bit of a paranormal edge to this--with Olive's visions.
The ending is going to keep me thinking about this for a while, especially now that my kids are back in school and I have several hours to breath. I think every mother wonders (even for a split second) about taking off and not coming back. But you never abandon them, yet wonder what compels the women who do. Or you wonder what will happen to your child(ren) when you die and you're no longer there to do the mundane things like getting the gym uniform from the embroiderer or grabbing a Master Lock from the office supply store for their school locker. Either way, I will live vicariously through the actions of characters in these mysteries, but never dare to put those secret fantasies into action.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this book.

To give a true review without giving away the story. This book leaves the female reader very frustrated. On one had I get where the main character, Billie disappears. The book is told in the eyes of her children left behind Olive and Jonathan. The twists and turns are everywhere. I think I have finally figured out what the author was trying to go with the story and then she puts in a another plot twists. One of the best books I have read this year.

Wow, I really liked this book. It begins so slowly that I wasn't sure I wanted to continue reading. As soon as Jonathan's reflections on Billie began, I began to appreciate the beautiful writing. I even re-read some of the phrases to try and think more about them. The overall story is not really a mystery, more of a character study about whether you can ever truly know someone other than yourself. There were some strange parts and character that didn't quite fit - for a while I thought this would head into YA supernatural territory but Jonathan's character and the interactions with his daughter brought it back each time. I liked the end even though it was strange. I would definitely recommend to read this book and stick with it.

I stopped reading this book because I found it slow and dreary. Rather than continue, I looked at the reviews to see if it continued this way...and it did. So I opted to not proceed since I had other books waiting.

Meh. It took me a bit longer than normal to finish this one - I just couldn't get into it. The characters weren't all that relatable so that made it more difficult. I didn't hate it but it wasn't my favorite.

Billie Flanagan, a former radical, had become a Berkeley mother with some need for freedom. She had started hiking and backpacking by herself on weekends, so it wasn't unusual for her to go away, until she didn't come back at all. A year later with no contact, the courts are ready to declare her dead. Her daughter Olive starts having visions of her, and her husband Jonathan is trying to write a book about his marriage as a way to cope with his grief. Both start feeling that Billie is still alive and try to search for her.

I found the book difficult to get into at first. It's not that Olive or Jonathan are hard to get to know, but it felt like the distance they had from each other also affected me as a reader.

As they started diving into their separate searches for Billie that they were more approachable and engaging. The story really took off at that point, and that's where I lost track of time and pages read.

Billie becomes more fleshed out as Olive and Jonathan discover different sides to her than they knew, and it alters how they see the relationships they had. It remains a mystery about what had happened to her until the very end, part of which made the story so engaging. People aren't who they initially seemed to be, and relationships completely changed by the end of the book.

Overall, it's a great book, fast paced emotionally as the mystery unfolded.

Interesting book: a mother goes for a hike one day and is never seen again. It appears that she fell and died in the rugged wilderness, but her body has not yet been found. Her husband and daughter are trying to move on with their lives when evidence comes to light that make them wonder whether she was actually kidnapped or maybe disappeared by choice. The way the author presented various facts and the thoughts of relevant people made for an intriguing read: trying to determine what was true and what wasn't and how one's own perceptions influence who someone seems to be. I enjoyed the search for answers!

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for a digital copy of this book.

4.5 stars.

Beautifully written, but lags a bit in the middle. The last 1/3 of the book really ramps up the pace, raising the stakes, and giving the story a much-needed sense of urgency. I was genuinely surprised by the twist. The epilogue was a nice touch and a perfectly bittersweet way to end.

The best by this author yet, and she writes amazing stories! This book was a real page turner. I couldn't wait to find out what happened to Billie.

This novel focuses on a close-knit family. Often thought of as a perfect family (and we all know there is no so such thing), which consists of a father, mother and teenage daughter. The mother has been missing for a year and is presumed dead. The dad is convinced that his wife died on a weekend hiking trip that she went on alone, while the daughter holds on to hope that she is still alive. Especially now that she has been having visions of her mom, which may be real or just a side effect from a brain trauma that will heal itself with time and medication. So daughter and dad are at odds. Except the dad has recently learned that his wife has been lying to him about other weekends when he thought she went hiking with a friend. He wonders, for different reasons, that maybe his daughter is correct and his wife is still alive. So he and his daughter are on a hunt to find their missing loved one. There are many similar novels out there but this one manages to succeed in feeling real, dad and daughter’s honest confusion, did she die, did she just leave us? A tough question to think about particularly while they are still dealing with their grief. Did they ever know the wife/mom at all if she is someone capable of walking away from her family? There are a host of intriguing characters, the reader will meet a psychic, the missing lady’s ex-boyfriend who happens to be a hippy ex-con, a grandmother who never met her granddaughter and all of them add to the mystery of just who the wife/mother really was. Even though I guessed the ending the book, I found the story to be a page-turner. It is a good beach read.

Billie Flanagan was a beautiful woman with the kind of life many wanted. She seemed to have it all. But everything changes one day when she goes for a hike and disappears. One of her hiking boots is found, but there's no sign of Billie anywhere.

As the book opens Billie, Jonathan, and Olive are relaxing on the beach after a picnic lunch.
Billie and Jonathan have been married for 16 years. They are watching their daughter, fifteen year old Olive walk along the shore. Billie seems to be worried about Olive but Jonathan shrugs off her concerns.

"In life the world is tough on soft things. She's going to need to grow a thicker skin or she's going to spend her whole life being too afraid to try anything"

Billie started acting strangely right before her disappearance. Now a year later, Olive has been pulling away from everything. She feels like she's constantly waiting. Waiting for her mom to walk in the door or call on the phone. Then Olive has a type of vision and "sees" her mom. It seems so real. Her mother says things to her in these visions...

"I miss you. Why aren't you looking?"

Olive becomes convinced her mother is alive. Her father is worried about her. Is it just her imagination...her hope...or something else? Up until then, Jonathan and Olive had been coping the best they could. Until Olive starts this imagining...or hallucinating that her mother is still alive.

"You aren't trying hard enough"

Jonathan thought he knew everything about Billie. Her traumatic childhood and everything else. But when he starts to learn other things about her life, he wonders just how much she didn't tell him about her past. They had married after knowing each other for only six weeks. But Jonathan was positive she was right for him. He had felt like she was his missing piece, and HE could give her the love she'd lacked throughout her life.

"For sixteen years, I tried my hardest to live up to that promise: to watch out for her, be her safe harbor. We made a beautiful life together, raised a beloved child, and built a nice home, at which point I must have forgotten my vigilance. Because in the end, I didn't manage to keep her safe at all"

What happened to Billie? Was she kidnapped? Is she dead? Or is it possible that Olive is right and her mother is still alive?

I wouldn't really say WATCH ME DISAPPEAR is a thriller, but more of a character driven family drama. Which isn't a bad thing. It was a very interesting story with a satisfying amount of mystery and suspense.

Overall a solid, entertaining novel. There were some good twists. I found the characters believable, flawed, and some not all that likeable. But they were intriguing. Though it may have been a bit slow-paced at first, it picked up and soon I was immersed in the well-written and quite moving story. I had to find out what happened to Billie. But not only that, I really wanted to know how things worked out for Olive and Jonathan too.

This was my first read from Janelle Brown but definitely won't be my last.

Thank you NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for providing an advanced readers copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.

Disclaimer: Thank you to NetGalley, Janelle Brown, Random House Publishing Group and Spiegel & Grau for providing Booked Up Blog with a free digital copy of Watch Me Disappear, which allows me to provide you with an unbiased review. All thoughts are honest and my own.

A mother is missing, presumed dead. As the first anniversary of her death looms closer, Billie’s husband, Jonathan, is finding it hard to let go as he continues to work on his memoir about the loss. Their daughter, Olive, begins seeing visions of her mother, telling Olive to come find her. Did she really die in a hiking accident, or has she disappeared out of their lives on purpose? As Olive investigates, Jonathan’s doubts begin to cloud his every thoughts. He learns that Billie may not have been completely truthful about her weekend hiking excursions, thinking that she may have lead a double life. Full of twists and turns, I couldn’t believe the ending to Janelle Brown’s mystery. It’ll leave you staying up way past your bedtime to find the next clue to Billie’s disappearance and the truth behind her identity. (I speak from experience because that’s exactly what happened to me several nights in a row.) Read more to let me tell you what I loved, and why I’m adding this the “Page-Turner” Club.

I love a nice twisty mystery, and that’s exactly what Brown gave me with Watch Me Disappear. I was hooked within the first chapter after Olive had her first vision of her mother, imploring Olive to find her. The dynamic between her and Jonathan, her unbelieving yet intrigued father, really added to the suspense of finding out the truth behind Billie’s life. We see Billie as who she was as a mother and wife, but also who she was before they were in her life. Billie’s life (and death) are surrounded by mystery, and I couldn’t get enough of the information that both Jonathan and Olive were uncovering individually. Brown does a great job of working within the confines of a family’s grief to show how each revelation impacts their view of Billie and their relationships with each other. Brown eventually leads you to ask yourself if your friends and family are showing you the true versions of themselves.

This definitely earned a well-deserved place in the “Page-Turner” Club. Brown gives you just enough information to keep you interested, but not so much that you are overwhelmed. As Jonathan and Olive learn about Billie’s past, so does the reader, allowing you to feel like you’re a part of the story with the characters. The supernatural element isn’t overpowering, and is balanced well with the other characters’ honest reactions to hearing their loved one is having visions. It does drive Olive’s storyline, but it wasn’t enough to turn me away from reading it.

I really enjoyed the ending and the journey it was to get there. Brown does a great job of tying up loose ends, but she also leaves you guessing to the very last sentence. My only wish was that one piece of information regarding Olive would have been either ignored, or fleshed out a tiny bit more in the beginning. (If you’ve read it, let me know so we can discuss.)

I think Janelle Brown has worked her way into my heart as one of my favorite twisty mystery writers. I even told my roommate that this was better than a James Patterson series we’ve been reading together. That’s high praise in our household, so she knows I’m going to put this one on her TBR.

I don’t want to spoil anything else for you, so I’ll tell you that this is a great read for those of you looking for a twisty mystery. There’s plenty to discuss, so grab your friends and get booked up!

TL/DR: You’ll be turning the pages looking for answers, but be patient. The answers will come and you’ll have plenty to think about even after you’ve closed the back cover.

Rating: ⅘ stars

WATCH ME DISAPPEAR by Janelle Brown was a slow starter; took me awhile to get into the story and the characters but I consider it a worthy read.

Billie Flanagan goes on a solo hike on the Pacific Crest Trail and never returns home leaving her daughter, Olive and husband Jonathan in a limbo wondering what happened to her. Olive and Jonathan are absorbed in their grief wondering what happened to Billie and how well did they actually know her.

Though I would not consider this book a mystery or a thriller, more of a character study. I do believe a reader expecting suspense would be disappointed even with the somewhat unexpected ending.

Watch Me Disappear is about a family dealing with the disappearance of the mother " Billie", who had a past that her husband and daughter know little about. She's settled down into a comfortable suburbia, and yet one day she goes on a hike and doesn't return. As her husband and daughter search for her, more and more is revealed about her past, and they begin to wonder if she actually died on her hike--or did she just plan her disappearance? Interesting characters and plot, a family in crisis trying to cope with a terrible situation. And a twist at the end, what could be better?

Let me start out with a positive - the author has talent. At times, she gets lost in description but overall I could see potential.

Now on to the negatives... This book was marketed as a mystery and a mystery it was not. I think it would have benefited by a general fiction categorization so readers could expect exactly what it was - a character study. Those characters though, oh boy, were supremely unlikable. Jonathan makes so many stupid decisions throughout that it took me out of the emersion of the story. He's supposed to be a highly educated, technologically knowledgeable guy but doesn't think to scour his wife's laptop immediately after she goes missing. Nor does he know how to hack one password protected file. Olive has her own issues as well but they're more forgivable as she's only 16.

The supernatural elements didn't make sense and had no resolution as to why they were happening.

All in all 2.5 stars. Thank you to NetGalley and Spiegel & Grau for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This novel was absolutely amazing! I enjoyed the intimate portrayal of Billie and Jonathan’s marriage and the world of their teenage daughter’s life. I really enjoyed the tone of the whole story and the way every time I was settled to the story in one way, something new would happen that would completely change everything. Billie and Jonathan are married and have a teenage daughter, Olive. Jonathan and Billie had a close, special relationship, and Olive and Billie were always extremely tight. Billie has started spending her weekends going on hiking trips. One weekend she is off by herself hiking, and she never returns. Her car is found, along with her broken cell phone and one of her hiking boots. The story begins one year after she disappeared. The search for her has long been called off and her body was never found. Jonathan and Olive struggle with their unanswered questions about Billie’s disappearance. They imagine that she could have been hurt, could have been kidnapped, or maybe she is somewhere and has amnesia. The court date is approaching where Billie will be officially determined to be missing, presumed dead. And then something happens to both Jonathan and Olive that leads them to believe that maybe they don’t know everything about what happened to Billie. They begin to examine their relationships with Billie, and investigate closer into Billie’s life. This begins a chain of events where the two of them learn more about Billie than they knew before. They both must face their feelings towards Billie and come to terms with everything they learn. At the same time, both Jonathan and Olive are dealing with their own personal struggles with the relationship between the two of them, as well as their relationships with others they are close to. Janelle displays a spectacular portrayal of the intimate lives of everyone involved. But most of all, she will tell you a story full of sudden unexpected twists that will leave you hanging on to each word and make it impossible to put this book down!

Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown will have you guessing right up to the very satisfying conclusion. Billie left for a solo hiking trip and no one has seen her since. Her husband and teenage daughter are left to pick up the pieces from her disappearance. Her daughter begins having visions that make her think Billie might still be alive but at the same time Billie's husband is going through the process of having Billie declared dead by the courts. He begins to dig deeper into Billie's life and discovers many secrets, not all of them pleasant. Brown keeps you guessing as the story unfolds as to what the truth is behind Billie's disappearance. Read and enjoy!

Told from the viewpoint of a grieving husband and daughter, Jonathan and Olive, Watch Me Disappear tells the story of a woman, lost, missing, maybe dead, and her family's attempts at finding closure in the wake of her disappearance.

This book is beautifully written. It flowed nicely, and the differing perspectives helped to paint a larger picture--- the best touch, though, was not including any of Billie's perspective before her death, in my opinion. It created an interesting portrait within the initial mystery. Parts of it were a little too-good-to-be-true.. maybe some plot devices seemed borrowed from YA genre..? But I would still recommend this to adults!

A year has passed since Billie went for a hike and never came back leaving only a boot behind on the trail. The court date to have her declared legally dead is looming and her daughter is having visions of her mother needing her to "find her" and her husband is finding things out about his wife which leads him to believe that she has "run away" before. Is Billie dead or does she not want to be found? Good storytelling from beginning to end.

" Maybe this is why they say love is blind: Who you want people to be makes you blind to who they really are. "

" ...perhaps we truly had the ability to write our own life stories, to change the endings if we wanted to. "

Watch Me Disappear opens with a picture perfect family living in a wealthy suburb of Berkeley, California. There's Billie, the "perfect" mom who makes Pinterest worthy organic snacks and meals; there's Jonathan, the adoring husband, doting father, and hard-working tech writer; and finally there's Olive, the out-to-save-the-entire planet loving daughter who attends an elite all-girls prep school. To an outsider, they seem like the perfect family with perfect lives and a perfect house in one of the nation's most expensive communities.

Billie, an adventurous soul by nature, sets out on our own for a weekend hike in the mountains. An experienced hiker and wilderness expert, her husband and daughter don't think twice about Billie's plan. Plus, things have been a bit strained at home; Olive has been seeking privacy and venturing out in the world on her own as a teenager, much to the dismay of Billie. Jonathan has been buried under his work, something he relishes in as the caretaker and primary breadwinner of the family. Billie feels as though her roles as a mother and wife are diminishing, so this trip is her way of forging an identity that isn't simply defined by her relationship to the family unit.

When Billie fails to come back home after her hiking trip and is declared a missing person, Olive and Jonathan are left with nothing but endless pain and uncertainty. All signs point towards a violent ending: Billie's hiking boot found in the stream; Billie's shattered cell phone in a ravine; the family Subaru abandoned at the trailhead. How can Olive and Jonathan move on with no body, no finality?

Both father and daughter refuse to move on. Their quest to find answers about Billie's disappearance only results in more unanswered questions. We come to find that Billie had several lifetimes worth of skeletons in her closet, including past and recent affairs, mysterious, unexplained trips in and out of California, numerous aliases, and even former crimes. As Jonathan and Olive dig through the detritus of Billie's life, they struggle to reconcile the beautiful, caring mom and wife they knew with the freewheeling Billie of the past. As Brown so beautifully describes, "Billie's identity keeps shimmering and changing...like a fish slipping through the sea ." Is the Billie they knew still alive? Was she running from someone or something? Did nature swallow her whole in an accident? Or, worse, did Billie decide to abandon her family given her insatiable cravings for adventure and independence, both of which were denied to her while growing up in a strict, abusive pastor's home?

This book has some fabulous twists and turns, and unlike many thrillers, has an incredibly satisfying ending that did not leave any loose ends. That said, I would absolutely pick up a sequel to this book in a heartbeat!