There are not many humans left but there are gargoyles (grotesque) who will protect them from demons if the humans can reach their sanctuary.
I found this to be a bit of a different but welcome read. It seems to be fantasy/horror with a bit of humor spicing it up. I really enjoyed reading this one and wished it could be a bit longer.
I received a copy of this book from the publishers via Netgalley for free in exchange for my honest review.

This book was a real disappointment. When I saw this title on NetGalley I wanted to read it, and I wanted it bad because the idea was so original and... the characters are Gargoyles! (Or Grotesques, that's better!) I mean who can say no to gargoyles???
The idea wasn't bad, at all, but... I do not know, we just didn't click. The writing was quite plain, the characters were interesting but not so well developed as I was expecting, and I do not love them. Yes, there was a couple of them that I liked but that's was all. And the atmosphere is dark and it's all "it's the end of the world!" but I didn't enjoy it, either and I do not know why.
I was hoping for something captivating but I didn't find it.
I can't say what went wrong with this book, I think the idea was good but all is so... plain. I wasn't captivated or fascinated by it, even if I really was expecting it.

I was super pleased with this book. Seriously, I really enjoyed it! It is a little hard to get into for the first couple of chapters, but don't let that throw you off. There are a lot of characters to try to get to know at first, and it slows the book down, but you quickly catch on to who's who, and then the book just sucks you in.

I loved the story line. The whole premise is amazingly original and super well done. The gates of hell have opened and humans' last lines of defense are gargoyles and grotesques. It makes for one HECK of a story. I love the unspoken comparison between humans and all their frailties and gargoyles/grotesques being nigh on invincible.

The characters are super well done as well. I absolutely ADORE Morty. He is great. ALL the gargoyles and grotesques are great actually. There was not a single one of the stone G's (As they are called) who I wasn't invested in in one way or another.

I was also quite fond of the character of Highlander. I couldnt stop picturing him as the kid who plays Norman Bates in Bates Motel...mainly because I just saw a trailer for his new show "The Good Doctor." Google that trailer and then read this book, and you will totally understand what I am talking about.

The book truly did keep me engaged until the very end. The action was great, and the blood, guts, and gore were spectacularly well - written. I highly recommend this book. Period.

3.5

The main premise of this book - gargoyles (sorry, they want to be called grotesque, if you don't mind) are the last line of defence against the hordes of demons. Anyone who can find a sanctuary guarded by a group of these creatures can consider himself lucky. But, one by one the sanctuaries are being breached, humans taken for vessels, and gargoyles destroyed until only one Sanctuary is left.
Guarded by a powerful gargoyle Artus and a group of grotesques, the one in the Appalachians Mountains is still standing. I loved these stone creatures, They are the best part of this book. Each has his or her own speciality, power and behaviour. They are worth five stars.

The book is divided in three parts. The first follows what could be considered a main character of sorts, a grotesque called Morty (Mordecai). Right from the beginning you find out how serious situation has become in the world since the Gates of Hell opened. Morty sets out to find more supplies for their wards (humans they are guarding) and to get cigars for himself. He runs into a rogue grotesque and a wounded human.
This is where I started being annoyed by the book. The first part ends with these three reaching a certain place and stuff happens (sorry, can't be more specific), then you are thrown into the second part of the story that takes you back to the moment Morty left and you get to see what has been going on in Morty's absence. Since you've seen what happens when he gets back, you spend the whole part two waiting for the thing to happen. Now, this is just a personal preference, but foreshadowing rarely works for me.
Next thing I am not a fan of is endless retelling. Something happens and you get to hear about it every time a character who needs to know about it enters the scene. It made the story drag in places.

I hated humans with passion. I wish I could be more specific with names and all that, but I don't want to spoil anything since the story is good. Let me just illustrate: a woman acts as if she is strong as grotesques, she goes out and when she is asked to get inside because the demons can possess humans, she starts arguing. Arguing with the creature who wants her safe! I wish someone just pushed her into the crowd and left her there. Another example: I think it would be enough if I say there are teenagers involved. God, I wanted those grotesques to let the demons have them all.

Still, as I said Artus and the rest of the guardians are worth five stars. Their comments on human behaviour is depressing, true and hilarious at the same time. The ending is bittersweet, but perfect.

The book is full of death, blood and gore. If you liked the film 'Shaun of the Dead', you might really like parts of this book.

ARC received from BelleBooks/Bell Bridge Books via NetGalley

This one is listed under both Horror and SciFi & Fantasy, but it has some very light hearted and even funny moments, albeit with a fairly dark premise. Hell has unleashed all its demons and the only thing saving humanity is a ragtag bunch of gargoyles (technically grotesques for most of them) that come to life through blood magic and guard the last cathedral sanctuary on Earth.

Human possession is common and everyone is preparing for the end of days. How cheerful. Yet the characters are quirky and bring more than a few laughs. The story is enjoyable, though heavy on dialogue and character driven with only occasional sojourns into description. I found the effects of having a stone body interesting in how it affected the characters' ability to do things and withstand assaults from the demon possessed humans, though apparently obsidian can cut stone. Flight came down to just magic. Sometimes the author has to either concede Physics or use magic.

Part two threw me a little as it started with some new characters and basically a new storyline, though set in the same time and place. Familiar characters soon joined in, but I found this part slower going than the first. It does have significant plot development though and towards the end I could see how everything fit in.

Part three is pure action, laced with testosterone poisoning. Things get a little gruesome at times and it's not for the squeamish. There were some emotional moments as well, and I found the end satisfying. Overall an enjoyable story with some original elements.

Fabulous! Great world building, loving the characters, will be looking for more by this author!

Umm... In all honesty, there were some parts of this book I loved, and other parts just seemed to drag a bit. One thing for sure: Don't think I've ever read a book where the central characters are gargoyles... and one bad-ass grotesque... so I'll admit the story was told from a truly unique perspective. Unfortunately, though there was action aplenty, I just couldn't seem to form any kind of an emotional attachment to the characters. Still, there are plenty of worse ways to spend a day!

Only a crazy mix of gargoyles stands between humanity and extinction in this over the top tale of a demon apocalypse which has alot going for it as it ladles imagination by the bucket load. On one level it’s really dumb, all these supernatural creatures, which are in some ways decidedly human, mashed up in a fight to the death with some really nasty nasties. Sure it’s crazy and silly, but it’s also very creative and inventive fun and you’ll soon find yourself rooting for the gargoyles and grotesques in this short, punchy novel. Morty is the main character and he most definitely reminded me of Hell Boy, Morty shows plenty of character, attitude, and has a heart of gold (stone actually, but you know what I mean). Humanity buzzes around in the background and before you know it you’ll quickly know the difference between a gargoyle and a grotesque. You’ll also know not to ever eat raw squirrel, unless you want the s***s. Fun, fun, dumb, very imaginative fun. You don’t always have to take yourself seriously in fiction and that really is a good thing.

Only a rag-tag team of gargoyles stands between humanity and extinction.

Hell has released its ravening horde of demons, leaving most of humanity a puke-spewing, head-spinning mess of possession.

Humanity’s last hope? A team of misfit gargoyles—including a cigar chomping, hard-ass grotesque—come alive and ready for battle during the End of Days. They guard the last cathedral-turned-sanctuary atop a bald knoll in the North Carolina mountains.

Gargoyle protection grudgingly extends to any human who can make it inside the Sanctuary, but the power of the stonecutter blood magic, which protects the sanctuary, may not be enough when a rogue grotesque and his badly-wounded ward arrive.

All the hounds of hell are on their heels. The last Sanctuary is about to fall.

Ahh, my favourite fictional sub-genre – the end of the world. Always a joy. I may have mentioned this before, I can’t remember? I do love me some apocalyptic fiction. The latest Armageddon to grace my review pile is Stone Cold Bastards by Jake Bible. The gates of Hell are open and they are spewing forth a demonic horde. Our last line of defence? A mismatched collection of humans and living gargoyles.

The main story focuses on a monster called Mordecai, Morty to his friends. Within a handful of pages, I was picturing a cigar chomping, mildly cantankerous type who grumbles a lot but will do anything to protect his charges. I’m thinking something akin to Ron Perlman’s Hellboy hewn completely from basalt, you get the idea. Morty is grumpy but with a heart of gold, that is, if he had a heart which obviously he doesn’t.

When it comes to the other characters, the rest of the gargoyles are a pretty diverse bunch.

Artus is ancient and wise, Geffe is loyal to a fault, Roan is majestic, Xue is ferocious and Coins just plain defies expectation. They are a weird collection alright. The humans are a pretty unusual group as well now that I think about it. In particular, there is a medic called Highlander who is wonderfully odd.

Turns out if you’re made of stone and you’re going to be fighting possessed humans by the bucket load, then things are going to get messy. Just try to imagine a big concrete fist smacking a head with unbelievable force, I’d suspect there would be an almighty squelching sound. Essentially, in a very roundabout way, I am attempting to highlight the fact that Stone Cold Bastards has some beautifully gory moments. Those amongst you with a delicate disposition may wish to look elsewhere. I loved it though. The final epic battle was particularly squishy.

It’s always nice when you learn something new when you read a novel. I now know the difference between a gargoyle and a grotesque. Who said fiction can’t be educational?

I’m going to leave my music recommendation pretty fuzzy for this read. I suppose it goes without saying that it has to be rock (oh come on, be honest you were all expecting it). The question is which rock band. I’m inclined to learn toward AC/DC. Thunderstruck could easily be the theme for this entire novel. Album wise For Those About To Rock, also AC/DC, wouldn’t go a miss either.

My only criticism of Stone Cold Bastards, and it is a minor one, is I think this book would have benefited from being a little longer. There is some backstory that I would love to have seen filled in. We learn a little about how the various characters end up in the last sanctuary, but it doesn’t feel as though it is quite enough. I’d imagine many of the gargoyles has been around for quite some time. There must be other stories that have been left untold.

That tiny quibble aside, Stone Cold Bastards is loads of fun. My advice – grab yourself a fine cigar, crank up your favourite rock album, grab a cold beer and get reading. Who knew Gothic architecture could be so damned entertaining?

Phew, that’s a relief, I managed to get through the entire review without using the words pulverise, smash or icky mess…dammit.

Stone Cold Bastards is published by Bell Bridge and is available now.

The main character was likable and fun to read. He had personality and I liked his quirks. The rest of the cast were just ok. They weren't outstanding or were they memorable much. The plot was good, but the ending left me hanging.

I'm already a fan of Jake's work, so I really enjoyed this book. Very entertaining and unique story. A great escape from reality for a good few hours.

Stone cold bastards by Jake Bible is a horror and sci-fi and fantasy read.
He'll is about to bring the end of days. The sanctuary is the only safe haven left for humans. A team of misfit gargoyles come alive and ready for battle during the End of Days. They guard the last cathedral-turned-sanctuary atop a bald knoll in the North Carolina mountains.
Absolutely fantastic read with brilliant characters. I loved how the gargoyles came alive to protect people. Very cleverly written. I loved the ending too. Highly recommended. 5*. I voluntarily reviewed an advanced copy of this book from netgalley.

I've been interested in author Jake Bible's works for quite some time, even going so far as purchasing several installments in his Z-Burbia series, but never quite taking the reading- plunge. After finishing Stone Cold Bastards, I'm so eager to get my hands on anything and everything with his name on it (and actually reading it...). His style has been touted to me by several friends as "strange and weird mixed with the fantastical", and they were right on the nose with that one. Strange and weird always calls my name, and I foresee Jake Bible and I getting along like old pals.

In Stone Cold Bastards, humans are far and few between, and one must always beware of any humans found outside sanctuaries. Hell has been opened, demons are running amok, and humans are their unwilling hosts. Gargoyles and grotesques are the new leaders, and it's up the G's to make sure what's left of humanity survives. Although it seems as if the town surrounding the sanctuary is the last town.

I can't recall when, or even if, I've read a book with gargoyles as the main characters, and Bible creatively incorporated so many various types of them. But what really set this apart for me was the super interesting magic that surrounds the stone creatures and in many cases, the amount of gargoyles that are without magic altogether. Add to that the whole Stonecutter premise, and I was instantly hooked. The pace was the only thing that was a little off for me - the story did take a while to really get moving but once it did, it was nonstop excitement.

Bottom line - so glad I finally got around to reading something by this author. His style really appeals to me with the mixture of weirdness, fantasy, and magic and I can't wait to finally dive in to his other works and series. Highly recommended.

Stone Cold Bastards by Jake Bible is a wonderful fantasy set in a time where there are few humans and plenty of demons. Gargoyles protect those humans in the sanctuary and some of those gargoyles are real characters! There are other creatures in the book also, dragons, goblins, etc. It is an exciting story full of fights, action, adventure, and not for the faint of heart. I really liked this book but I love gargoyles anyway but when they are snarky and crazy strong, bull headed, and cigar chomping, well...that makes them even more lovable! Thanks NetGalley for letting me get this wonderful book.

Forget clawed mutants and moody men of steel. Jake Bible’s Grotesques are the heroes this world needs. Stone Cold Bastards is outright bloody fun. I love zombies, and I’m a fan of the author’s Z-Burbia series, but I think this was much better. It is a gust of fresh air blowing away some of the rancid post-apocalyptic rot pervading the genre.

Sometimes you just want to watch the world burn. If you cannot watch it burn, then you at least want to see geysers of blood and rib-cage battering rams. If none of those are available, chocolate will suffice. Luckily for me, I didn’t need to resort to chocolate. Jake Bible’s Stone Cold Bastards gave me all the head-bursting violence my blackened heart could want.

It also appealed to the teen in me. The one who discovered the show Gargoyles and sat in front of the TV for hours on end, watching the protectors of New York kick evil guy butt. Though you daren’t call the Stone Cold Bastards anything other than Grotesques, it’s clear there is a resemblance. Living stone attached to a sanctuary, moved halfway across the world to America, and taking up their positions as guardians. These herculean heroes of various proportions are a bit cruder and less puppy-doggish than the Gargoyles I knew and loved, but they have an undeniable appeal. Especially the shotgun toting fairies with mouths that would make a sailor blush.

Though Stone Cold Bastards doesn’t exactly hit the ground running, by the time you’re halfway through the book, you’ve forgotten the real world exists. A literary treat that will have you on the edge of your seat, always ready to do a fist pump and cheer the Grotesques on. Morty and company burst to life in your mind’s eye. As tension builds and the violence becomes almost non-stop, it’s impossible to put down.

And Bible’s world in Stone Cold Bastards is a scary one. There are no zombies, but instead there are demons. In this new post-apocalyptic world, the gates of Hell have opened and demons are queuing up to take their turns in the meatbags there were inheriting the earth. But human bodies can’t contain the festering rot of evil for long, and as the book opens, there’s only one Sanctuary of uncorrupted humanity left. What makes this so scary, though, is that in this world all it takes is eye contact to become possessed. Bible takes something that we take for granted, and twists it effortlessly into something with terrifying consequences.

By the time I was 30 pages from the end of Stone Cold Bastards, I was grinning like a loon. After it had finished, I went full on fangirl squealing and bugging my book-reviewing compadres to put it on their To-Read list immediately. I haven’t shown so much geekish excitement over a book since I read Andy Weir’s The Martian a few years ago.

Even a few days later, I still grin every time I think about the awesomeness that is Stone Cold Bastards. It’s an unashamedly campy, no-holds-barred post-apocalyptic thrill ride that will make you cheer. And maybe do a little Snoopy dance. (Or maybe that’s just me. What can I say? Some gals go gaga for romance, some go nuts for butt-kicking.)

Stone Cold Bastards by Jake Bible was received direct from the publisher. I have heard the name and praises for Jake Bible but I had never read any of his works. As such, I was looking forward to reading this. This book, about gargoyles or gargoyle like creatures, thus the title, starts out real slow, causing me to skim before even reaching 5% on my Kindle. The story was more fantasy than horror, in my opinion, and that I was not prepared for. I am not saying this book was bad though, do not get me wrong, but it was not for me and it makes me wonder what I missed that this authors fan boys reviewers are reading that I missed. The book was a quick read but too PG13 to my liking.

3 stars

Stone Cold Fun

When I started reading this, I wasn’t certain. A book about a band of gargoyles – excuse me, grostesques – that are trying to save the last of humanity seemed a little hard to buy into.

However, within a few chapters, I was in. I loved our stone heroes – especially Morty and his cigar.

As with all of Jake Bible’s books, expect humor, action, and simply good storytelling. There are moments to break your heart and moments that make you want to get out your guns and fight for humanity.

Most of all, it’s just plain fun!