I was unable to continue with this book.
I did not finish because it didn’t capture my attention.

The book was something I would have read but something was off and the writing didn’t hold me captive

As an only child, I can't imagine what it's like to grow up with siblings. I've given plenty enough thought to the subject over the years based on what I've seen in families around me and it's not always good. But to have an ill sibling, or one with some type of handicap, has got to be nigh on unbearable for the healthy siblings of that child! No matter what they achieve, no matter what they do, they are burdened with and overshadowed by the ONE. I have seen only two of these types of families and feel so very, very sorry for the normal siblings. No one notices them. Everyone in the family becomes the ONE's care taker. Stifling... so tragic for everyone. Exhausting. And the poor kids have to raise themselves as the parents have little time to devote any time to the "normals."
The story is worth reading if you aren't familiar with this theme. It's a good look into how families like this work.

From the description, I had feared that the book would be a heart-wrenching, emotionally charged read. Although it was interesting, the author's expressed emotions often felt flat. Sometimes, I was angered by what seemed like selfish behavior of the author. As the second child, and second daughter, she left home as soon as possible and started a life that focused on herself. A younger sister was left to focus much of her life on their disabled brother.

Some of the subject matter was depressing but there were also some humorous moments in the story. Although the book ended on a positive note, there were many unanswered questions, as to what will happen when the parents died. Although the author claimed that she, and her older sister, would do what needed to be done for their brother, I was not sure what that entailed.

Margaret Combs's life was drastically changed when her little brother Roddy was born. This is true for most older siblings, but for Combs's family, the change was more pronounced. Her brother was different. Some labelled him retarded. At least one doctor diagnosed cerebral palsy. But few people knew the term by which his condition came to be known: autism. In the 1950s and 1960s, when Combs was growing up, ignorance reigned. She and her family got by as best they could, but struggled with fitting Roddy into their lives and community. Combs tells her story in Hazard: A Sister's Flight from Family and a Broken Boy.

Because of the ignorance of the time, teachers and doctors didn't really know what to do with Roddy. At one point, he went half a school year in a class for deaf students before Combs's mother figured it out. Combs writes, "my brother was a small but clear dot on one extreme end of the autism spectrum, the opposite end of high-functioning so-called Asperger's. None of us knew the: not my parents, not even Roddy's teachers at the Wallace School for the Handicapped."

Combs captures her mother's depression and helplessness. Parents of disabled children, even with the knowledge and support systems that are available today, often feel isolated, judged, and rejected. Even more so a generation or two ago, when awareness and compassion were future hopes, and stigma and exclusion dominated. In Combs's case, her parents were from Appalachia, "where belief prevailed that the kind of people who bred retarded children were low and uneducated, whose bad behavior and foul natures led to illness and plague, who were careless and unscrupulous, whose children were ignorant and soiled." On a visit to Combs's parents' hometown, they encountered a severely disabled teenager, accompanied by his family who appeared to fit the above description to a T. Combs's mother "was a born-again, devoutly Christian, clean, educated woman and, still, she had birthed a retarded child, just like this behemoth of a woman with her piteous boy."

This faith struggle defines Combs's understanding, as well as her mother's. The difference is that her mother seems to come to grips with it, while Margaret completely rejects it. I had hoped to hear more of a theological reflection from Combs, but she never gets beyond her childish faith, where she "believed what my parents had taught me: Jesus held the tickets to everlasting life and now that I was baptized, I had one in my hand." That's a pretty accurate description of many young Christians' experience in Baptist churches. But that's not the end of the Christian life; faith must become one's own. In a church that emphasizes discipleship and Christian growth, childhood faith blossoms into mature adult faith. But for Combs, Christian faith never became her own, and she "jettisoned Baptist dogma and, along with it, the idea of souls dwelling anywhere after death."

It makes me sad to hear stories of people leaving their faith like she did. Certainly her parents had their weakness and cultural shortcomings, but I couldn't help but wonder if their shared faith and consistent church involvement played a role in the stability of their marriage, which lasted at least until the writing of this book. Combs, on the other hand, left her faith behind, and married and divorced two different men of another faith. Perhaps if she had internalized the fact that Easter was more than "celebrating the tortured death of a prophet" and celebrated that fact that Jesus' resurrection gives hope for all of us, her adult life and marital happiness would have turned out better. (I am not judging her, simply recognizing the fact that couples who are involved in church together have lower divorce rates than the general population.)

Given the ostensible purpose of the book, I was also a bit disappointed in the limited amount of insight into disability. I was hoping for a memoir about growing up with a sibling who had a disability. Hazard is a memoir about a woman growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, with occasional references to her brother who has an intellectual disability. At several points I lost interest as Combs's "writer's" pen took over her "storyteller's" pen, resulting in some nicely written passages or whole chapters that did little to advance the overall point of the memoir. But I guess that's what memoirs tend to do.

On having someone with a disability in the family, there were a few thought-provoking and challenging statements. As she observes her brother in middle age, she writes, "The truth about disability is that it lasts. And it doesn't get better; it grows worse and more complicated with age." Many families who have a disabled family member can relate to her statement that "Growing up with a disabled boy in a time of ignorance had wracked my family, crippling our rhythms and feeding our sense of shame."

Combs doesn't offer a lot of solace for parents and siblings of people with disabilities. She does offer a point of reference for people to relate to, but if readers are seeking inspiration, guidance, or hope, they should keep looking.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

In 1956, when author Margaret Combs brother Roddy was born, there was only a limited amount of knowledge of autism and developmental (intellectual) disabilities, most of it based on misinformation, stigma, and fear. Many doctors encouraged the “mentally retarded” to be shuttled away from polite society, and confined to special homes, sanitariums, or state asylums for custodial care. Families were assured: “It’s really for the best.” In “Hazard: A Sister’s Flight From Family And A Broken Boy” (2017) Combs shares her courageous compelling story about her family caring for Roddy at home, when there were limited public resources, support, less understanding and compassion.

Comb’s family members were from solid hard working Kentucky Appalachian mountain people. In the 1930’s her family was hit hard by the collapse of the coal industry. Both her parents attended college, her father was a stoic silent man that provided well for his family as an aeronautical engineer, her mother at one time aspired to be a school teacher.
Comb’s “Margie” and her older sister Barbara Ann soon sister realized that something was seriously wrong after Roddy’s birth. There were many long car rides for Roddy’s clinic appointments. Her parents offered no explanations, they were distant and uncommunicative. A roly-poly Roddy made unusual sounds, flitted and fidgeted with his hands, didn’t make eye contact or respond well. The worst times were his terrible fits of loud anguish, where he would bang his head on his crib, seemingly without feeling or pain. Comb’s parents were distraught, knowing Roddy would never lead a normal life, marry or have a family. Comb’s wouldn’t learn of the severity of her mother’s despair and depression until she was 55 years old.
Their family life revolved around Roddy’s care. Vacations were spent visiting family in Kentucky. With limited social events, there were no trips to theater’s or theme parks, and Comb’s protected Roddy from bullies on occasion. Once she entered a model airplane flying contest with her father, and her Dad was rudely asked: “You have a son, don’t you?” Comb’s enjoyed competitive sports, and began training in gymnastics, winning numerous awards, trophies, and medals.

Comb’s attended the University of Pennsylvania on a partial scholarship, setting her sights on competing in the state championship for gymnastics. (From the book) “My gymnastics had eased my mother’s mourning, as well as my own and given me an escape route to another life.” College was exciting; she relished being away from the family responsibilities back home, and was enriched by her friendships with her teammates. An ill-fated first marriage was somewhat predictable, as Combs explored the dynamics of her personal life and relationships.

By this time Roddy had matured into a young man, and had developed his basic verbal communication skills. He lived in a Florida group home and went to his parent’s house for weekends, visiting his parents and younger siblings Cami and James regularly. Comb’s wrote thoughtfully and movingly of her life in Massachusetts with her second husband, an artist, and raising their two sons. There was always a place for her at her parents, to visit or stay awhile and catch up with Roddy. This is also a story of her aging, future planning, and relocating—Comb’s is the Director of Communications at The Northwest School (Seattle) and lives on Bainbridge Island, WA. ~ With special thanks to Skyhorse Publishing via NetGalley for the DRC for the purpose of review.

This is a very honest and poignant memoir, by a woman whose younger brother's autism deeply affected her parents, and consequently her own upbringing. Other writers have suffered autism and have published inspirational books on the subject like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, anything by Temple Grandin, Born on a Blue Day, Look Me in the Eye, etc that offer more uplifting takes than Margaret Combs offers. Combs is an interesting writer but I think her feelings of guilt sway her view of her brother's condition, for example when she refers to his being "severely disabled".

In telling this deeply personal story, it seems as though she seeks validation, after distancing herself from her close-knit family and undergoing two wrenching divorces. I hope she applies her craft to other subjects, like her appreciation of things Appalachian, a unique culture I hadn't read much of; I would rather read more about topics she feels pride in next time around. I also notice her affinity for the supernatural, perhaps she could write an actual ghost story, continuing the basis she introduced here in Hazard?

I was torn between giving this book 4 or 5 stars. I chose 4 since it's rare to find a truly 5-star book. Margaret Combs writes an interesting memoir of growing up in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, but with the added twist of growing up with a handicapped brother. She does a fairly good job portraying family life with a child with a disability, especially in a time where there was inadequate help and an almost non-existent chance of a proper diagnosis. She goes on to write about her adult life, which is influenced by her need to escape her childhood, particularly her brother and her parents. This book is a good read. It is clear and easy to read. However, I didn't feel much of the emotions Ms. Combs felt through this life. Perhaps she didn't feel any. She does describe various feelings and reactions, but emotionally, it felt somewhat flat. I would, however, recommend this book to anyone interested in understanding what it was like to grow up in this time period with a handicapped sibling. It's a good read.

Having 2 young daughters with Autism I really wanted to read this book because I also have a teenage son who had to learn very early on to grow up quickly because he had to become his sisters’ protector in a way most kids will never understand.

I found the book to be informative, easy to read, and well written. Combs has a way of pulling you in and taking you on the journey with her so you see with her eyes, feel what she did. It’s a highly emotional and expressive look at family dynamics and the ability to survive overwhelming challenges.

Reading how far things have come within the special needs community and society at large in the decades since made me happy that even with the current imperfections it’s obvious large strides in both care and understanding have occurred.

As a parent I found it very interesting to read an adult’s point of view about what it was like to be the sibling of a special needs child because it gave me some insight in how to be there for my son more since his sisters get more of our attention and time than he does simply due to the circumstances. He is not loved less than them but as a parent you don’t necessarily realize how things appear from their point of view. I feel like this book will make me a better mother to him and maybe be able to help him in his role in their lives. I was very grateful for the opportunity to read this and gain some profound insight.