Anna was the sun in the orbit of those who knew her. Her group of school friends remained in touch despite their lives pulling them in different directions. As Anna's health issues have led to her to enter hospice, the Old Friends come back to try an rouse her to fight. Anna is resolved to give up since she had such a wonderful life.

There is a lot of reminiscing and stories from each of the friend's lives. The ex-husband of Anna is also present in the book as well. We get to see glimpses as to what Anna meant to everyone, and their extremely slow acceptance of Anna's decision.

This book was a bit of a miss for me. I was drawn to the book from the description, but it was a bit more lackluster than I anticipated. Until the unplanned "vacation" to the spa, the reader was unaware just how bad off Anna was. The other characters were sadly in denial of her actual state of health. Very sad.

3 out of 5 stars.

Anna, Ming, Helen, Caroline and Molly have been friends since forever. They are ready to jump up to make Anna's last days in hospice more bearable. Every one of them are having their share of middle age trouble and the idea of Anna's passing affects them differently.
Although the book 's idea is good, the pace didn't work fine for me. There were several chapters that seemed to end very fast, and very short ones that I didn't have the chance to get my mind into.
Thank you Netgalley for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Penguin Books and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of Before Everything. I voluntarily chose to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

The premise of the story is a close-knit group of friends gathering together to be with the one who is dying. It is basically a book of past experiences and regrets, without much meat to hold it together. Before Everything is not a pleasant book to read, nor is it as emotionally based as I expected. I never quite got a feeling for the characters through their experiences. Anna has suffered through bouts of cancer and has chosen to stop treatment, but because the reader is brought into the story after she has made peace with her decision, there is no struggle to experience. It is more about how her friends and family have to come to terms with Anna's choice than about Anna herself. The bonds of friendship are not enough to bring the reader in, so the story just meanders along until the eventual conclusion. For the reasons listed about, I would not recommend Before Everything to other readers.

I cannot resist a good book about a close-knit group of girlfriends, especially a sad one. When Helen, Ming, Molly, and Caroline gather to say goodbye to Anna, who is about to enter hospice, I was ready for some wild stories and long overdue confessions. Despite the setup, this story was not the gripping tale I expected, and there were some surprising moments of pettiness among the characters given the gravity of the situation. Despite this, it felt true to me. It reminded me of the times I have experienced perspective altering events, when my own troubles — that had seemed huge and unmanageable before — were eclipsed by unexpected tragedies. Redel does an excellent job of creating characters who are human and believable. They are not always perfect, or selfless, or even kind and forgiving, but they are capable of change, and so there is always hope.


For Goodreads:

Why I picked it — I love a good reunion story.

Reminded me of… Terms of Endearment, and some Elin Hilderbrand books

For my full review — click here

It was hard to really connect with any of the characters in this book. The narrative jumped from one character to another, one time frame to another, and one viewpoint to another. Just when I'd think there was going to be something important said, it would switch to a time in the past or to a different character. The premise of the book sounded good and it seemed like it would be a heartwarming book about old friends; but the characters never seemed real to me and I just couldn't relate to any of them.

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

Anna, Helen, Ming, Molly, and Caroline have been best friends since elementary school. Now with grown children of their own, the Old Friends (as they dubbed themselves the summer after 6th grade) are gathering again after Anna enters hospice. Each of the other women has issues going on in their own lives and don't want to accept that Anna is dying.

The novel had beautiful writing in places, but it jumped around too much for my taste. You hardly get into a subject before you jump around to another perspective, another time, another subject. The abrupt changes made it hard to connect with any of the characters in the book. The story had promise based on the blurb, but it did not deliver for me.

I truly tried to like this book, but I couldn't even finish it. The topic. or what should have been the main topic, Anna's cancer battle and her journey to find peace, was lost in the description of her friends and by their perspectives.

I've tried and tried but I just can't get through this book. I'm finding it really uninteresting and I'm unable to get attached to the characters enough to care what's going to happen. Very sorry--it's just not for me so I won't write a public review on this one..

Every once in awhile I seek out a book I suspect will make me cry. I confess that Victoria Redel achieved that emotion. I like the device of old friends getting together, reminiscing, revealing secrets, sharing triumphs and heartaches. It's difficult to adequately tell so many "stories" in one book, and I think Victoria Redel did a fine job with Before Everything. The character portraits are a little thin, which makes connecting a bit more difficult. The event that brings the women together is difficult to write about with care and respect, and I appreciated Ms. Redel's compassionate treatment of death and dying, as well as her hospice care setting.

This book is a lot of work to read. It’s emotionally taxing (although I didn’t even cry until near the end) and, frankly, depressing. Anna is dying of cancer. And that’s no spoiler, pal. That’s the premise of the book.

Before Everything is also about love and friendship and family and a few secrets. Victoria Redel designs Anna’s friendships so realistically that the secrets the women have make me remember secrets I have with my friends … not contrived or hyperbolic or beyond belief, but just stuff we know about each other because we’ve been friends for so long.

I read this book in hopes that I’d come to a better understanding of what it’s like for the family of a person dying of cancer. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let myself feel it 100%. So instead I read with my shoulders tensed, my mind rushing to get to the next scene, and only half my heart with Anna.

It’s a good read if you can let your guard down. I held back because otherwise it would’ve been too painful. Thinking about that, well, maybe I did learn what it’s like to be close to someone who’s dying.

https://randombookmuses.com/2017/07/21/review-before-everything-by-victoria-redel/

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2067956501

When I started reading this novel, I honestly didn't know what to make of it. A scene in the present might take up a page before flitting back to a paragraph-long memory from the past and all the while, the reader is forming an impression of the group of friends who has arrived to rally around Anna.

Anna has decided she's not going to try any more cancer treatments and begins hospice. Her ex-husband Reuben, still a good friend, becomes her caregiver. Her brothers and many of her friends take turns trying to convince her to try one last round, which has worked in the past. But Anna is tired and she is ready. The bits from her perspective were incredibly moving, as Redel shows not only the confusion of a brain slowing down but the flutter of memories. I particularly enjoyed Anna's realization of all the things she will no longer have to do, from blood draws to shaving her legs. When Anna's son tells her his wife is pregnant with her first, she thinks about everything she wants to tell her baby's baby and this is a fully internal experience. She begins to withdraw as she sleeps more but we are present to her thought process.

Like any group of friends, each person responds differently to Anna's decline. With The Old Friends-Helen, Molly, Ming, Caroline- those who Anna has known since 6th grade, they each remember how they met Anna, how their group formed, and what Anna has meant to them over the years. They consider what Anna will miss, like Helen's second wedding and whatever Molly's teen daughter is going through.

The memories from various points in their lives are overlaid into the present. The memories were often paragraph snippets and I usually wanted more but as the book continued, it occurred to me this is how if often is in friendship. I spent a weekend away with my best friends and our conversation would veer from "remember who I took to prom?" to "here's the book I'm reading" and "this is what happened at work yesterday" with fluidity. Redel has given us that same fluidity and I'm not sure I've experienced it in fiction before but it worked.

Redel took it a step further by including the perspectives of some of Anna's local friends. None of the Old Friends live by her so it has been an entirely different community that has been there for the day-in, day-out of her years of cancer treatment. They respond differently to her decision for hospice, as one might imagine, as they have vicariously experienced the toll the treatments have taken. The two groups of friends don't know how to relate to each other and it was interesting to watch them navigate their possessiveness of Anna.

Of course, it's not always easy to read about someone who is dying. But there was a lot of life and even laughter in this novel. I laughed out loud at a couple astute observations. I teared up at various points. I considered how I'd respond if this was my friend or if I was the one dying.

This is a celebration of friendship and a meditation on the impact we can have on one another. It was bittersweet and lovely. It was one of the most honest accounts of friendship I've found in a novel and I'm so glad I read it.

This book was sort of blah for me. I was really surprised it hit me this way. This type of book is usually right in my wheelhouse. It started pretty depressing to begin with. Then the characters were completely disconnected to each other and the reader. I was shocked with the pettiness some of the characters showed. I mean...one of their best friends is dying and they are wondering why they are not liked by the other women in the group. Come on...what's important here! I did eventually bail on the book. I gave it a good ole college try. I made it through a quarter of the book before I decided it wasn't for me. I usually don't post bad reviews because the author works very hard to put a book out in the world. And this is just MY OPINION.
I received this novel from Netgalley for a honest review.

This is a lovely tribute to childhood friendships that have endured into adulthood but also a difficult look into the sadness and grief experienced when a loved one is dying. Four women, who formed bonds as children, gather around their friend Anna to support her through the process of dying. It is a happy recollection of each of their memories of Anna during times of good health. It is also a comfort to any reader who has lost a special friend or family member. The emotions expressed are spot on as each friend goes through that unsettling time when you are there supporting the one who is dying, but you are personally struggling with the unfathomable thought of life going on without them. For me the book has a comforting conclusion as life for these women does go on but their wonderful memories continue on.
I received an ARC from Netgalley and the publisher and this is my honest review.

Loved this book. Five friends come together for the main character, Anna, who is dying at home in hospice care. They have been friends since grade school. This book is all about love and friendship and learning to let go in death, and how one person's life affects so many others. The writing was wonderful and so were the characters and the entire story, in spite of how sad it was with Anna slowly fading away in death and everyone else just continuing on with their lives.... Highly recommend it!

Before Everything by Victoria Redel is a recommended novel about friendship, life changes, and loss.

The group of five self-named "Old Friends" who first met in grade school is gathering to say goodbye to Anna, a member who is dying. She has fought cancer for years and is now choosing hospice care and no more treatment. Each of the women had a close relationship with Anna, and we view their relationships through their own recollections, marked by their differences and changes across the years. Also in attendance is Reuben, her husband from whom she is separated but they are still friends, a group of women who are the new friends, the women she has been friends with on a daily basis for the past twenty years in Pioneer Valley, Massachusetts, her two brothers, and her children.

Anna, was a math teacher and musician. Her old friends include: Helen, a painter; Ming, a lawyer; Caroline, the caregiver of a sister; and Molly, daughter of a cruel, abusive mother.
recovering addict Helen, now a famous, globe-trotting painter; Ming, a high-powered lawyer whose daughter has a seizure disorder; Caroline, caregiver of a perpetually needy bipolar older sister; and Molly, a lesbian, daughter of a drunken, cruel mother. Then you have all the Valley friends, etc. It is a densely populated book where individual personalities tend to blur unless you are paying very close attention.

The story alternates between events in the present day with those from the past until everything comes together at the end. There is no great suspense involved as we know Anna is dying right away and that she is refusing any more treatment. The friends are flocking to her for themselves, in reality, because she has made her decision. That makes the book more of an exploration of past events in contrast with the current circumstances.

Although the writing is very good, realistic and descriptive while pulling on your heart strings, we actually learn very little about Anna, her inner life and feeling. We know she's an extrovert to the extreme, a bit self-centered, doesn't like to read, and only makes friends with beautiful women. Why are all these people so enamored of her? I never understood that, and it's kind of important that I do if I'm going to care about her life and death. I'll have to admit that I read to the end of this one rather quickly as I didn't care about these Old Friends and actually felt sorry for the new friends of the last twenty years who were pushed aside when they also needed to say goodbye.

In the end I wasn't quite the right target audience for this one.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Penguin Publishing Group.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2051296515?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1
on 7/7/17: http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/

What an absolutely stunning book. We are so lucky to be invited into the circle of friends that have known each other since grade school. They've married, had children, moved away, divorced etc but they have always been there for each other. They are the "Old Friends", 5 women who gather to help Anna with her last battle with cancer. She's fought several times but she is now too tired to try again. We get a glimpse of their lives and the trials they have all endured. This book is emotional and deals frankly with death. This groups friendship extends even beyond death and survives even when the dynamics withing the circle change. A tear jerker that will give you a smile once in awhile.

This is a moving and tender look at friendship and aging. Redel's prose is sharp and poetic, and her characters are believably flawed and tangled up in each other's lives. While the book did seem to drag on a bit at times, I enjoyed the broken-up chronology and the insights the flashbacks allowed.

BEFORE EVERYTHING by Victoria Redel is an emotional read. Five "Old Friends" gather in support of Anna who is dying of cancer. Of course, there is sadness and anger and even denial to some extent. Although Anna has fought and won remission in the past, she is making a choice to let go and her friends, especially Helen, struggle with that. Interspersed throughout are beautiful flashbacks to their lives as young women and new mothers.

BEFORE EVERYTHING is a relatively short, but quite complex and extremely powerful read. To fully appreciate and process the multiple time periods and perspectives requires some quiet introspection. At points it feels intensely personal, but may work well for book group with members who are willing to share their own journeys. The story of Anna, Helen, Molly, Caroline, and Ming received a starred review from Booklist.

3.5 Stars

”We are here. And then we are not here. For a little while, we are a story.”

Friends. The Old Friends. They’d come together at the end of Sixth Grade, set apart from all others by the simple fact that it said everything about them. They were there first. First and always, The Old Friends. All the friends that came after just simply were newer friends, but never to become part of what they were, never to have a part in their story.

”On a late March day when you could taste spring’s muddy tang, Anna was given results from the new scans. Anna, who had done it well—actually managed a couple get-well miracles—simply said, ‘No more.’”

And so they flock to Anna’s side at her home in rural Massachusetts. Helen, Anna’s best of these best friends, is an artist who has second marriage on the horizon. Helen isn’t alone in juggling outside concerns, Caroline’s sister has emotional, mental health problems that one can’t just walk away from. Molly’s daughter is going through a rebellious phase, as teenage girls often do. Ming, always shuffling the holy trinity of working mothers: love, her work and children.

”And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe, I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well, you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way
I thank you”
“That’s What Friends Are For” - Written by Burt F Bacharach, Carole Bayer Sager

Anna is fed and fueled by their love, their friendship, their memories and stories of days long past, of dreams for their futures, their children's futures. She knows they will carry her with them in their thoughts and she also knows they will share their stories of her in their stories to others, and in that way she will live on.

The awareness of death approaching is evident, although the conversations about it are less prevalent, but it is always there, it is the very reason they are gathered there to reminisce. We hear from each on as they share their thoughts, each taking turns, including Anne’s husband, but this story isn’t about him or them as a couple as much as it is about this friendship, this sisterhood which has gathered to allow one of theirs to leave this life knowing that this bond will not be broken.

Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
The words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling and keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
“That’s What Friends Are For” - Written by Burt F Bacharach, Carole Bayer Sager

I enjoyed this, but I never quite was able to get where I was fully invested in this story, the writing is fine, there are moments of laughter and sadness, but I never really fully was convinced of those feelings – this just didn’t reach me on an emotional level. Emotionally, this felt very even to me, which didn’t really seem to feel “normal” to me under the circumstances. I just didn’t connect fully with this one, but that may just be me.

Many years ago, a friend of mine went into hospice care, not at her home as in this story, with the condition that we, her friends, would always be there, taking turns round the clock to make sure she didn’t die alone. I don’t recall how many months this lasted, only that it wasn’t brief. I do remember more than anything how often I would come in and the woman leaving would comment on how glad they were that she hadn’t died on their watch. I found that to be such a disquieting thought, that the whole block of time they’d spent with her was filled with this negative thought. How much comfort could their presence be under those circumstances? The last time I went to visit, the woman leaving practically ran out. And then it was just me. I knew she’d had a bad day, she was in a lot of pain and she kept asking for something, which eventually I understood was “I want…” so I started to rattle off “things”… ice chips? Water? The Nurse? Her children? Her husband? Medicine? Then I asked: “You want to let go?” and she squeezed my hand twice. So I sat there and talked about a special place I knew she liked to go, describing it in as much detail as I could, and I talked about her children and how well they would be watched over and cared for, and all the agitation of the first few hours was gone. The nurse came in and said it wouldn’t be long, if I wanted to call her family, but they’d been called too many times before, so I stayed until it was over because that’s what friends are for.


Pub Date 27 Jun 2017

Many thanks for the ARC provided by Penguin Group / Viking

"We are here. And then we are not here. For a little while, we are a story."

Before Everything is a beautifully written story of five women who have been friends since childhood. They call themselves the Old Friends and cherish that title as well as all that they have shared together through the years. Now they come together again as Anna, their cornerstone, is in her final weeks of life. Anna has fiercely battled cancer for years, with all the treatments, agonies, hopeful remissions, and relentless reoccurrences that entails. She is ready to die; those around her are not ready to let go.

This story is told through the voices of each of the five women, in the past and in the present, so we get to know each of them, and their stories bit by bit. Through them, we also learn of their children, spouses, lovers, youthful adventures, mistakes and joys. These women have been friends for decades, and they love each other like family. It's hard for them to come to terms with the fact that Anna is actually dying, and wants to die, and to accept that they will go on with their lives without her. They also must accept that while they may be the Old Friends, they are not the only friends, as Anna has added new people to her life along the way, and they have shared just as much with Anna and have just as much of her heart as the old gang does.

While this book is sad, it is never maudlin. Rather it is a celebration of life, of all those who share our path with us, of friends who become family, of learning to accept what cannot be changed, of knowing when to let go, and learning how to move on.

An excellent read!

Many thanks to NetGalley, the author, and Penguin Group Viking for allowing me to read an review an e-ARC of this special book!