I featured this book here: http://www.bethfishreads.com/2017/05/10-books-to-read-in-may.html

Jill Santopolo’s novel The Light We Lost is more than a novel of choices, although it touches broadly on “the road not taken” and the constant wonder of “what could have been.” Santopolo’s narrative crosses that border, a transcendence into the memento amorem of a first love.

Lucy and Gabe first meet as students at Columbia University on September 11, 2001. Though the tragedy and its aftermath serves as a foreshadow of sorts to the outcome of their relationship, the intensity and passion that draws them to each other are forced to take second place when Lucy and Gabe’s professional ambitions embark them on different paths.

The story is told from Lucy’s point of view, only changing to the second person narrative when she speaks to Gabe, looking back on their history together with vivid, painful, but also beautiful memories. But these are recalled with such loving detail because the star-crossed lovers never forget each other. Not even when Lucy marries and starts a family with someone else or when Gabe moves to a torn city in the Middle East to chronicle the devastation of a country ravaged by war.

Gabe’s passion to achieve a successful photojournalism career, which brings him closer to a lifetime ambition of leaving his mark upon the world. But this also takes him further from Lucy, the only woman he’s professed to have loved with an almost frightening intensity.

Santopolo chronicles ten years of Lucy and Gabe connecting on and off again, sometimes in person, other times by phone or emails that often leave Lucy reeling, unsure that the life she leads is the one she wants. She recalls one of their meetings in New York, blanketed with a tone of evident longing and expectation.

I was so caught up in the fog of you that I can’t even remember what we talked about that night. Can you? I’m sure it was my show, your work, our families. I just remember feeling wholly and completely alive. Like every molecule of my body was awake and alert and excited. Any other feelings were pushed aside, smashed down because you were there, in front of me, smiling like I was the only person who existed in the world.

Lucy frequently calls up the relationship with her husband, Darren, with alternating feelings of her certainty and doubt. She knows he is a good man, and she’s convinced of her love for him. But she recalls a memory, a conversation before their engagement, when she doubts the way he sees her, or rather how he doesn’t see her. The exchange boiled into an argument when he boldly refers to her ambition to produce a children’s television show as “adorable.” Lucy soon forgives him and forgets her rage at his dismissal of her ambitions. They move forward, but later she remembers it as one of the cues about Darren she neglected to notice.

Lucy’s shifting feelings for Darren, beyond his place as a husband and father to her children, is a constant throughout the novel. “He’s never had all of me,” she candidly admits to Gabe and herself, invoking that her choice to make a life with Darren had never taken root in helping her forget all of the crucial differences between them.

Lucy’s admittance that she has never allowed herself to let go of Gabe entirely is a parallel to his feelings for her, struggling with the passion and dedication of his job that took him further away from Lucy or any chance they might have to re kindle their relationship. Santopolo inundates Lucy’s story-line with impossible choices and untimely regrets. Her love for Darren and what they’ve built together, always competing with the love she still feels for Gabe and her desire to throw caution to the wind and be with him again.

It’s not difficult to side with Lucy’s plight. She’s no Anna Karenina, or Madam Bovary, ready to abandon her husband and children for the thrill of a new passion or the excitement of a love affair steeped in absurd fantasy. We have no trouble feeling sympathy for Darren either, despite his at times insensitive demeanor that borders on outright misogyny.

When Darren suggests to Lucy that perhaps she would be happier staying home with the children instead of working, he feigns offense when she eloquently lets fly what she thinks of that idea. But this doesn’t make Darren mean or even a lousy husband; it just makes him clueless and completely out of touch with Lucy’s thoughts and desires.

Gabe is also a simpatico, albeit intense character, but he’s hardly exempt from flaws. Through Lucy, we know that he is often selfish, self-absorbed and careless in his choices to achieve what he wants. His constant search for professional validation puts him and Lucy on opposing paths time and time again.

In the end, the many forks in the road will bring Lucy and Gabe to one final choice, one decision that they never thought they would have to make. But enveloped in this choice is a silver lining, the light that they lost in a decade apart shining again in the most unbelievable way.

With The Light We Lost, Santopolo tugs mercilessly at the heart strings, weaving a narrative that is unique in its beauty, allowing us to experience love, heartbreak, longing and loss through the eyes of its complex and imperfect characters, letting us know that it’s our choices which ultimately make us who we are.

Lucy Carter first met Gabriel Samson when it seemed like the whole world was exploding. It was September 11th, 2001 and there on a rooftop under a grey cloud of ash, she kissed him for the first time and lost her heart forever.

But sometimes loving someone with all that you are isn’t enough to keep them by your side. It never mattered how many years passed without seeing his beautiful face or how many other loves had drifted in and out of her life, it was Gabe she could never forget.

“Love does that. It makes you feel infinite and invincible, like the whole world is open to you, anything is achievable, and each day will be filled with wonder. Maybe it’s the act of opening yourself up, letting someone else in— or maybe it’s the act of caring so deeply about another person that it expands your heart. I’ve heard so many people say some version of I never knew how much I could love another human being until . . . And after the until is usually something like my niece was born or I gave birth to a child or I adopted a baby. I never knew how much I could love another human being until I met you, Gabe.
I’ll never forget that.”

​Gabriel Samson wanted to change the world with his photographs.  He thought if he could somehow shine a bright light on the atrocity and cruelty that existed, maybe one day things would change.  But for all of its nobility, it cost him the one thing that meant the most to him – Lucy.  And not a day went by that he didn't wish that he had made a different choice.
 
People always say that true love never dies but theirs was a love that could transcend everything – even death.

“You’ve shaped me. Did you know that? You; September 11th. The person I am, the choices I’ve made. They’re because of you. Because of that day.”

​ ​When I first started to hear whispers about The Light We Lost, I knew immediately that I had to read it.  I thought it was going to great.  But I was so wrong.  It was so much more than that – it was a life altering experience!
 
From the first page to the very last, I was completely caught up in Jill’s beautifully emotional prose and her one-of-a-kind characters.  Every single aspect of this story unfolded flawlessly and I felt every word like a sweetly poisoned arrow aimed directly at my heart. 
 
If you’re just going to read one book this year, make it this one.  It will mark you in all of the extraordinary ways…

When you give yourself over to love like that, your heart will get bruised. It will get battered. But you will also feel invincible and infinite.

What is it that allows a first love to weave itself deep within your heartstrings? The Light We Lost follows one woman, Lucy, as she grapples with the romance and heartbreak of love and the decisions life requires of her. Beginning on September 11, 2001 we see how one devastating event alters the lives of a nation and, on a smaller scale, the lives of two people, Lucy and Gabe.


The world felt like it was cracking in pieces, like we’d gone through a shattered mirror into the fractured place inside, where nothing made sense, where our shields were down, our walls broken.
Brought together by this tragedy- or what some may even call fate, they spend the evening together treading on the edge of something that will prove to be more than either could expect.


You squeezed my fingers. “Thank you for making this day about something more,” you said. “Lucy. Luce. Luz is light in Spanish, right?” You paused. I nodded. “Well, thank you for filling a dark day with light.”
With a youthful exuberance they enjoy all that the beginning of a relationship has to offer- a passionate romance which inspires each to reach farther for their dreams. They dive in headfirst without regard for the consequences.


But at that point, there was nothing I could have done to change our trajectory— yours, mine, ours. I stand by that decision. Even now, I stand by it. I’ve never felt as alive as I did those five months we lived together. You were life-changing, Gabe. I’m glad we made that choice. Free will, despite our fate.
Their deep desire for each other is not enough to quell their ambition, however. They bravely part ways putting their future together on hold. Gabe sets forth as a photojournalist in the Middle-East amidst the rising danger and conflict while Lucy begins her career as a children's television producer in New York. Is is enough to rely on fate or must they do more to secure their future?


“The thing about roads,” I said, “is sometimes you happen upon them again. Sometimes you get another chance to travel down the same path.”
As time and geography put space between Lucy and Gabe, life moves forward and introduces opportunities both romantically and professionally. One weekend at the Hamptons adds an unexpected trajectory to Lucy's life- Darren. He is rooted and steadfast, everything Gabe is not but like Gabe he falls head-over-heels for Lucy.


Darren was my Old Nassau experiment. The longer we were together, the more I loved him, and the better it got.
Darren and Lucy work hard to build a life together, to build a love that lasts. But for Lucy there is always a lingering shadow of the love she once had and she is tempted by its spark, its flame, and its lasting burn.


Love does that. It makes you feel infinite and invincible, like the whole world is open to you, anything is achievable, and each day will be filled with wonder. Maybe it’s the act of opening yourself up, letting someone else in— or maybe it’s the act of caring so deeply about another person that it expands your heart.
When circumstance forces Lucy and Gabe together, Lucy is left with a decision that tests her heart, her compassion and her willpower. But first, she must tell her story, as a kind of solace, maybe, or as her penance. As her choice looms she relives every detail, full of tenderness and anguish and we read as it is told until the heartbreaking end.


You taught me to look for beauty. In darkness, in destruction, you always found light. I don’t know what beauty I’ll find here, what light. But I’ll try. I’ll do it for you. Because I know you would do it for me.

I really didn't the female protagonist. There was an excess of enthusiasm too which made the book a bit hard to read.

Unfortunately this was a did not finish for me. I read to about 30 percent and then I just couldn't handle the first parson narration by Lucy anymore. The way it was set up to be told, with her telling the story to Gabe and the constant use of "you" just really annoyed me. I also didn't feel a connection with her character or really Gabe's for that matter. However, we were really inside Lucy's head the whole time and it became a little grating. I lost interest by 35% and this is a did not finish for me

A chance meeting on September 11th intertwines Gabe and Lucy for the rest of their lives. They start a love affair that lasts close to 13 years. Throughout this time you see each character grow as their life unfolds. Unfortunately the reader can tell very early on that something has happened to Gabe as the story plays out as Lucy retelling their history to him. It is a heartbreaker. But I kept myself from sobbing since you know early on that there probably won't be a happy ending.

3.5 stars

Let's start positive! I could relate so closely to the storyline involving 9/11 being a pivotal moment throughout this book, as I was also in college on that horrible day and remember it from that perspective. I loved the style of writing of this book, with Lucy narrating to Gabe - it made for a really fast read and one that wasn't weighed down with a lot of extraneous dialogue or description. I liked the love story and themes of lost opportunities and second chances. All of that made this book an enjoyable and riveting read as I kept reading to find out how and why Lucy was telling Gabe the story.

But.

Hype can help a book, and hype can kill a book for me. In this case, it definitely killed it. If I hadn't read the blurb about the "unforgettable and shocking ending" I wouldn't have been dying to find out the massive shocker, which I was expecting to be along the lines of "Behind Her Eyes" or "Allegedly", both of which completely blew my mind. If I hadn't been waiting for that, possibly I would be rating this a 4 instead of a 3.5. So, for all my reader friends, don't expect a shocking end! You'll like the book way better going into it without that expectation.

My recommendation? I'd grab this one from the library rather than buying it.

4.5 stars!

Do you believe in fate? That people come into your life for a reason, whether to teach you a lesson or to fill a place in your heart that feels empty?

I just finished The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo and I have to say, it is by far one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. Her writing is phenomenal and I don't know how I'll move on.

This is the story of Lucy and Gabe, both seniors at Columbia University. The tragedy that brings them together has them both not only bound to each other, but also determined to make some sort of a difference in the world.

They seem to be perfect together, yet Lucy's calling is in New York while Gabe's takes him to the Middle East.

The journeys they travel are so far apart, yet they always seem to find their way back to each other.

Over the course of thirteen years, Gabe and Lucy find their path and through Lucy's words, you experience every moment as if you were living through it yourself.

Ms. Santopolo wrote a novel about fate, love, faith, friendship and a heartbreak. I fell in love with her storytelling and I will never forget her words.

I truly look forward to more of her work--as I love finding new to me authors. My only issue was the lack of an epilogue. I truly wanted to know what happened with Lucy's life from the author's perspective.

Lucy and Gabe are two binary stars rotating around each other in a love that is out of this world; the kind of love that poems and sonnets are written about, and artists find inspiration in and musicians compose from. The book is all from Lucy's point of view as if she is talking directly TO Gabe....but why? Very unique for an entire novel to be written from this perspective and it definitely takes a little getting used to.

Eventually, Gabe wanders away, following his passion for photography to the Middle East, leaving Lucy shattered. She finds new love that isn't quite the same, but she settles down nevertheless and starts a family, still occasionally keeping in touch with Gabe. Without ruining the full story, we follow Lucy's journey for thirteen years and through it all, the author does an amazing job of keeping the characters and the story real and so beautiful.

I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who reads fiction, who likes a good cry, who appreciates contemporary fiction, women's fiction, or romance. Jill Santopolo's writing absolutely shines so bright in this book and even brings honor to those in the field of photojournalism. That is not a piece of cake artistic line of work. Beautiful book! (Oh, and keep the tissues handy!)

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2.5-3 stars!
The blurb for The Light We Lost captured my attention right away. For one, I am a HUGE fan of Me Before You and I love any romance story about first love.

I had very high expectations for this book going in even though I knew that this was a debut novel. And sadly I felt let down. I will explain why.

This book was told in Lucy's POV and it felt almost like a journal or daily diary entries of her life. Attending Columbia University and meeting and falling in love with Gabe. These two experience something horrific together, something that I was a part of as I was there working on Wall Street on September 11th. It is something in our history that no one will ever forget.

I enjoyed their love story—how much they loved each other and supported each other though at times I often felt that Lucy took a backseat to Gabe's personality and later on his hopes and dreams for his career.

The reader will journey with Lucy as she tries to get over her broken heart of losing her love and then when she tries to build a new future with Darren, the epitome of the perfect boyfriend. Darren was everything that Gabe was not and then some, but I often times felt sad for him and her constant comparisons between him and Gabe.

Darren puts Lucy back together and together they take on life's journey but there is always that certain someone lingering in the back of her mind, the what ifs, the memories.

I don't want to ruin the story for those who intend on reading this but here are my thoughts...I felt that Lucy never really gave Darren a fair shot. She put Gabe on such a high pedestal that I don't think anyone would have been able to have her heart completely. There were times that I didn't love their choices because I knew in my heart that someone was going to get hurt.

Here's the thing... no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Like the book mentions—sometimes there is that fork in the road, the choices you make, the mistakes that sometimes happen is what life is all about. And I get that. I guess for me, I just couldn't stand behind the choices that the heroine made because I felt like they were selfish and one sided and yes they hurt my heart and made me angry and sad. I didn't love the ending and would have wished for a few more chapters so that we could have experience what happened when the truth came out—I felt like I was missing something and just wanted a bit more.

Would I read this author again? Most definitely. Her writing style was interesting and unique and despite not loving the story, I was engrossed from page one and The Light We Lost was unputdownable.

Wow! I read this book in a single day -- I can't come up with words to describe what I'm feeling. This story between starcrossed lovers Gabe and Lucy - which begins on September 11 - is beautiful and sad and magical. If you loved "Me Before You," you will love this book!! Thank you, Netgalley, for this arc.

So, I was not expecting The Light We Lost to be such a tear-jerker, but here I am still thinking about the novel and the tears that fell upon my Kindle. Why?? No seriously, what an amazing, real and emotional story author Jill Santopolo brings the world. For anyone has “that one that got away” or maybe even the one that “it just wasn’t meant to be,” brace yourself for this story. Lucy meets Gabe while in college but a year later they meet again and fall hard for one another. However, their dreams are going in different directions, so Gabe eventually takes off across the world to pursue his dream of photojournalism while Lucy stays in New York to pursue her dream producing children’s television. During his time away, everything changes including new significant others, children, and years – but does it really change how they feel?

This novel poses several questions about this brief life that we are given. How many great loves will we have in our lives? What if the spark with one love was better than another? What if you want with all of your body and soul to love the “perfect guy” but still can’t let go of the one that got away?I loved Lucy and loved her character. She was smart, funny, beautiful, grounded – but she was still a girl. She still wanted the fireworks and passion above everything else. I liked Gabe but didn’t love him. Initially, he seemed different and artistic in a fabulous, passionate way. However, I found myself for resenting his leaving for the Middle East, regardless if he was following his dream career. Don’t ask why I just did. I thought Darren was a fantastic and honest character, despite the “paper doll” reference and I completely rooted for him and Lucy from the time they met. Was he perfect? Absolutely not, but damned if he didn’t put forth a lot of effort to be so.

Trying my best not to give spoilers, there is a turning point in the novel, towards the end, where everything changes. I found myself sad and crying for what might have been, but then I caught myself thinking that more than likely, Gabe had not changed and there would not be a HEA regardless. Perhaps I am wrong, but I felt like the ending of the novel was his easy way out, because otherwise he would have been faced with grown-up life and responsibilities, which he would have hated. If you have read this you will know to what I am referring but if you haven’t, let’s just say that Gabe was a dreamer and never struck me as the “family man” type.

Lastly, I have to admit that for the first 50 pages or so, I was a little bored. I didn’t know what was going on regarding the narration from Lucy. Was this a letter? A conversation? But I soon found myself entranced by their story and could literally feel the weight on Lucy’s shoulders. Jill Santopolo’s writing is captivating and her characterization of Lucy is outstanding. It made me sad for Lucy in ways, feeling as if she would never find true happiness because of holding on to the past, but I hope the end provided her the closure that she needed.

If you love literary and women’s fiction – and aren’t too upset by a somewhat ambiguous ending, then this should be your next read. However, if you need definites and absolution then steer clear of this one. I think I know what happened after the ending of the novel but, of course, one can never be sure. Regardless, I am so incredibly impressed with the author’s writing and the development of the story.

*Thanks to NetGalley for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

"The Light We Lost" is a gut punch story about two friends who love each other, yet don't belong together. They have glimpses of happiness and a shared future, but ultimately, their paths only cross. I was surprised at the intensity of the story, though the writing is smooth and the pacing fast. I enjoyed this story for the writing (not necessarily the tragedy of their lives). This made for an interesting read.

A fast-paced, engrossing read which will probably have you examining your own relationships and how choices you have made (or those made for you) have affected your present or future situations. Poetry and Shakespeare references sprinkled throughout but not overdone and felt fitting with the scene or character's dialogue. I have read books similar to this which sometimes make me feel manipulated into caring about characters or endings, but here I genuinely cared for them, even if I didn't like some of the decisions made along the way.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and author for the opportunity to read this beautiful book.

Another book that I fell into and could not stop reading. This is such a beautifully-written story, so relatable because we all make so many choices in our lives - is it fate, just meant to be, coincidence, karma? This is one of those fork in the road books and really makes you think.

Lucy and Gabe met in college on one of those days that we will all remember exactly where we were at that moment. When they met again a year later, all the pieces fell together and they became a couple, madly in love, all the stars aligned. Until Gabe is offered his dream job of being a photojournalist in war zones - to make a difference. And Lucy is left behind.

This book is told in the form of a diary of sorts in Lucy's voice, starting at the beginning of their relationship and through the rest of the story leading up to a major decision she must make.

This story left me hollow, sad, and a bit breathless when it was done. It's written so beautifully and I'll be thinking about these characters for a long time.

I received an ARC of this through NetGalley for an honest review.

And honestly, I am still trying to gather up the pieces of my heart. You know those books that break your heart and then mend it back together? Well, this one forgot about the mending part!! This is a story about chances and choices, karma and fate, the decisions we make when we come to a fork in the road. It is about trying to be okay with what we did choose, hoping we don't have to live with regrets. It is about being brave and staying true to yourself. It was a sad story, but life often is. It was beautifully done

This story will stay with me for a long time. Unforgettable. Those are rare books, those you read that you can bring back to mind the feelings you had when reading it. This is such a book.
This story of Gabe and Lucy who meet in college and become friends, then more than friends.
Two lives in two directions yet their hearts seemed to always be connected. Years go by, life happens and it isn't all pretty, yet it is bone real and is riveting. The emotions, the twists, the let downs and the things that pass for what we think is real and isn't. This book had it all.
I can't say enough good things about this book. I love the way it was written, Lucy telling their story to herself and to us. First person personal worked fantastically in the book. I loved Gabe, despite his sometimes selfish behavior. I'll leave Darren out. Watching this love affair because that is truly what it is, unfold over time is worth every single second and every word you read. It couldn't have been better. Beautiful.

**arc from NetGalley and publisher in exchange for a fair review**