An unconventional parenting book. Hopeful and full of ideas and focused on values. Relatable, compassionate and open minded.

I fully expected to be sold out for this book. I figured I would a lot in common with the author. I like the premise. Looking at family values and taking that back from how it has been politically weaponized seemed like a book I would LOVE.

I tried to. It took me ages to get through this book. I wanted to get into it. I agree with so much of what Erin is saying and yet how she says it turned me off. I wanted this book to bridge a divide that it seemed to deepen.

Many people will love this book. She is funny at time and I can see how it would be easy to like it-- there was simply something missing for me.

The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts

I thought this was a different book with the same title that was also coming out soon. I am not religious so this didn't really resonate with me.

Thank you Westminster John Knox and Netgalley for an ARC of this book.

I read through this book, skipping parts that didn’t appeal so much but enjoying other parts that were relatable to our family.

In More Than Words the author looks at ten values for the modern Christian family. She addresses them with the Bible as a guide line but not that old fashion thinking that women are only there to clean and listen to men who are always right. Instead we now work together. as equals. This is a wonderful book!

I was looking forward to reading this book as have two young children and I'd like them to grow up in a family where behaviour and decisions are led by values. However, I just didn't get on with it. I got almost half way through and realised I was skimming more sections than I was reading, so made the decision to stop. I like the concept of the book and I'm sure other people will find it valuable, but I can't help but feel disappointed by it.

I recieved a free electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

More than words by author Erin Wathen is great book for anyone with children or families to read. Packed with hope and ideas, it’ll benefit so many!
Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of More Than Words in exchange for an honest review.

Great book on defining what I believe should be true 'family value'. So much of our world focuses on stuff, or right and wrong, and this book nudges us to focus on nurturing and raising compassionate kids - focusing on equality and so much more. It also provides ways to introduce these values in the home. Wonderful book and inspiring. Well done!

I love reading Wathen's blog, and appreciate her willingness to challenge expectations of christians in general and pastors. I enjoyed aspects of More than Words, and found much to think about, but the writing was a little less snappy and a little more saccharine than I expected.

Interesting and well written, I disagree with a lot of the theology and opinions, but always love reading different points of view!

So Christian parenting books aren't usually my cup of tea, but the author drew me in with her unconventional style almost immediately. Starting her story with a beer in whole foods, the rejection of regressive family values, an emphasis on love and inclusion of people of all walks of life, and humble acknowledgement that no one has all the answers - Pastor Erin Wathen had me hooked. She is funny, she is relatable, and she has compassion for those of us who aren't really supermomming our way through the day because she is *one of us*. The lessons in this book for families are hilariously introduced and wonderfully illustrated, and really transcend religion. Regardless of your persuasion, the way Wathen brings joy, gratitude, and enthusiasm for life to this book is refreshing, and universal. Highly recommended for all library collections

I received a copy of this book courtesy of NetGalley Ballantine in exchange for an honest review.

If you like Erin Wathen's blog you will love this book. If you haven’t read her blog yet, check it out. Her writing style is witty and fun to read. She covers a wide variety of topics.

Lots of discussion points for a book club.

More than Words 10 Values for the Modern Family by Erin Wathen is an evaluation of family values. According to Ms. Wathen, the purpose of the book is to find common ground between progressive and conservative Christians. Ms. Wathen is the senior pastor at the St. Andrew Christian Church in Kansas City as she uses her experience and observations to illustrate the values she feels are the most important as expression of love. Values such as compassion, joy, justice, and forgiveness. Each chapter features one particular value which people can practice in their home and in the community as well as questions at the end of each chapter to help the readers further put the value into action in their lives.
My first impression of More than Words was disagreement. I disagreed with many of Ms. Wathen’s illustrations as to why these values need to be practiced to our lives. I agree with the values that she is discussing and she had some excellent points. Despite the fact that I disagreed with her illustrations, I enjoyed her openness to discuss topics that many people would shy away from such as our approach as Christians to the LGBTQ community. I particularly liked her statement that marriage is an art, not a science. There is no formula for a great marriage, it is a piece of art which is worked and retouched as time goes by. I also liked that she said the old adage “don’t go to bed angry” isn’t good advice. I’ve found that sleep will often give you a new perspective in the morning and you are better able to talk calmly. I have other examples; however, I am recommending it for those who are open to a different point of view or if you would like to know what are the other viewpoints.

More than Words
is available on Amazon
in paperback and on the Kindle

What are family values? Before you attempt to answer that, think again. Is it a traditional or postmodern interpretation? Does it depend on which generation you come from? What kind of family are we talking about? These questions must be answered before we start talking about 'family values.' Our world has changed. With faith matters increasingly becoming politicized, even this popular phrase has become a battleground of opinions and political positions. Some would say that the traditional Christian interpretation is increasingly tainted with homophobia, misogyny, bigotry, and so on. Others lament that family has become meaningless in a relativistic world, absentee parents, and broken relationships. In a way, everybody have their own sense of ranking which value is more important. Behind this ranking belies a person's presupposition. So I decide to find out where this author is coming from. Concerned with how public opinion are increasingly negative about the phrase 'family values,' Erin Wathen begins with an attitude of understanding and learning. She writes:

"In this book, we’ll explore the language of a better way; a more life-giving way; a way that leaves room for creativity, for questions, for imperfection, and for a much broader view of what it means to be 'family.'"


Wathen seeks to move away from fundamentalist perceptions that have often become associated with "family" or "values." Put the two together and we have a formula for backlash and criticisms. It's time to change these perceptions. This can be done when we re-examine ten ways that promote inclusiveness and essential virtues to strengthen the family. We do not need more arguments, skepticism, or sarcasm around the subject of family. Every family already has their own challenges. At the least, we can embark upon a constructive effort to rebuild and renew families. Wathen shows us the ten ways to be inclusive and effective. In our world, 'love' is not only an overused word, it can also mean all kinds of things to different people. Compassion is a better world as it is essentially love in action. It bypasses judgmentalism and fear. It nurtures passion in the young. Instead of just talking about love, compassion essentially puts a face to love. This is a crucial first step to get away from the stigma of traditional vs progressive forms of family definition. Compassion cuts through all of these differentiations to let our actions do the talking. On Abundance, we learn about how gratitude and generosity are generally accepted virtues. People can be generous only when they are secure in a certain abundance. What really strikes home is our common attitude of presuming we lack something. Be it time, sleep, money, or anything, we tend to look at the negative side of things as a default. It informs us that abundance is more about our attitude and our inner condition. Abundance is contentment in action. Sabbath is about restoration of relationships, with ourselves and others. It is about making time to see the more important things in life. Learning to spend a day without an agenda is a much needed relief in this scheduled-driven and activity-packed world. The natural progression of a good Sabbath rest is Non-Violence and Joy. Non-violence is more often spoken rather than practiced. Wathen puts a finger on a common behaviour as follows: "We are tired of 'praying for peace' and 'sending our condolences.' .... We are tired of words and we are tired of carnage." It's another way of saying: "Enough is enough! Let's put non-violence into action." Peace is a state of being, not simply an act. We can lobby for the abolishment of death as capital punishment. We can turn the other cheek. I am floored by the story of Diaz who turns a knife-point robbery into a conversational moment over dinner! It's that feel-good story of how the practice of non-violence turns violence on its head, and to usher in the meaning of Jesus' teaching of peace and goodwill to all. As the popular saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack/Jill a dull boy/girl. We need joy to live on in spite of the troubles that will come from time to time. Bringing joy and hope to those who need it is perhaps one of the best ministry moments ever. Families that create joy also testify of Jesus. This alone could be very attractive. Other values include Justice; Community; Forgiveness; and Authenticity. Interestingly, the author comes back to square one

So What?
Using the term "modern family" to distance herself from the increasingly controversial term "family values," Wathen hopes to give start fresh without being bogged down by negative perceptions of the importance of values; family; and Christian love. She is well aware that Christianity, especially evangelicalism is increasingly being tarnished by accusations of homophobic; judgmental; misogynistic; exclusive; etc. Throughout the book, there is a consistent framework of beginning any virtue first at home before applying it to the community around us. As the saying goes, charity begins at home. The "Around the Table" discussion questions make this book a good resource for interaction. This book is strongly geared toward action. The title of the book is a call for us to go beyond mere words toward putting those words to practical use. Values are important but as long as they are not acted upon, their usefulness remains limited.

Wathen is prepared to be criticized for her openness toward certain communities often ostracised by vocal personalities in the Christian world. That is why she qualifies herself with statements like: "Some elements of this book will invite a visceral, negative reaction from certain corners of the faith community." What elements I wonder? I believe it is the way she counters the conventional ways of approaching family. For instance, many people think that Jesus' way of turning the other cheek is impractical. Yet, Wathen shows us otherwise, and that it is still extremely useful. The chapter on Equality is another example. Look at Josh Duggars' fall from grace. After being endorsed for a form of "family values" that are "wholesome" and "traditional," the scandal rips apart the fragile and artificial image of a family-next-door. No family is perfect. They are only made perfect by polished media briefings and witty camera angles. The way we treat non-traditional unions is also controversial. Learning to deal with conflict is another of those important family values we need. Not only must we learn to show love, we need also to practice tough love.

Over all, this book is a modern paraphrasing of the biblical counterculture nature. It forces us to take another look at our own values. As long as we are open and humble, we have hope in our homes and in our communities. We cannot isolate ourselves and our families into our individual cocoons. We need not only to be neighbourly, we must have a larger vision of what family means. The goal is this. If living these family values becomes second nature to us, we are well on our way to changing the world, one family and one community at a time.

Erin Wathen is the Senior Pastor at Saint Andrew Christian Church in Kansas City, Missouri, and writes the popular blog Irreverin on the Patheos network.

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

I received this in exchange for an honest unbiased review. I also read this as part of #bookbuddyathon with my sister. This was a little hard to read a first but it was something I needed to get done. I didn't know it but, after reading, I realized I needed to hear the messages in this book. My only complaint is that I'm not closer to Mrs.Wathen's church.

Reading this book will help you will some of the greatest issues with religion, Christian or not. If you have kids or (like me) you don't, this will help you out.