Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkampe (January 2018)
This is best described as a psychological thriller with a touch of superstition and a whole load of heart. It looks at themes such as friendship and teen mental health in a small confined and remote Northern Alaskan community. Two friends who have shared everything for years are separated when one, Corey, goes off to study outside the community, leaving Kyra, who has Bipolar disorder, is left to fend alone in a community that does not understand her and has always ostracised her. Weeks before Corey is due to return, Kyra dies and Corey returns to a very different community with a lot of questions to answer. Corey, now the outsider, has a taste of what her friend must always have experienced and determined to get to the bottom of her friend's death, Corey refuses to be silenced. Before I Let Go was very tense, yet beautiful. Although, not a particular fan of superstition or supernatural reads, this element lent a poignancy to the narrative that was very appealing. A definite must read from me.

Repetitive and very, very strange. This title did not work for me.

Interesting book about teens with a variety of problems growing up in isolation. Very disturbing.

Before I let go was a heart wrenching and mysterious read. Corey and Kyra were inseparable until Corey had to move away. Right when Corey was about to go visit Kyra, she gets the news that has died. She flies back to get answers but they are not the ones she was expecting. I really enjoyed this book. It kept me guessing the whole time. I just wish I was given more answers.

From the beginning, I never felt connected to this story. There are some pretty significant issues (bipolar disorder, a cult-like society) introduced, however they are never really developed. Nijkamp fails to use imagery to draw the reader in and only scratches the surface of some issues that should have been developed. The characters are also superficial. The pieces for a great book are there, but they fell far from short of her more impressive work, This is Where it Ends.

Corey returns to Lost Creek, Alaska when she gets the news that her friend Kyra drowned. When she tries to uncover what happened, she gets a cold shoulder from townfolk, who revere Kyra for her artistic talent. Kyra’s unrequited love for Corey, which is slowly revealed, created strain in their relationship, but Corey feels like they were still friends. Ghostly apparitions and magical occurrences lead Corey to believe someone is watching her, as the story unfolds in this mysterious thriller.

I wasn't a huge fan of this. I appreciated the attention to mental illness and I thought the development of the extremely creepy town was excellent, and as always I appreciate the inclusion of LGBTQIAP characters (emphasis on A and P in this book, a rare treat), but the plot didn't seem to need the real estate, if that makes sense. There was a lot of repetition, especially in terms of the incessant placement of salmonberry flowers. I swear, they're on every page. There was a lot of sounds and fury signifying nothing throughout the whole middle of the book. But I think what disappointed me the most was that I was reading it like a whodunit and then found out at the end that that may not have been the intent of the book. I felt like I wasted time and effort looking for clues that didn't exist or didn't have a payoff. So that's my warning to future readers: this isn't really a mystery. I'm not sure what exactly you're supposed to take from it, but you aren't solving Kyra's death/murder. Learn Kyra's story, appreciate the creepy town, try not to get frustrated by the world's most flat and uninteresting narrator, and leave disappointed that this book could have gone twenty different ways and just didn't. But don't try to solve it.

This young adult novel was incredibly engaging. The main characters, Corey & Kyra, were well-developed & I quickly grew attached to both of them. Ms. Nijkamp did an excellent job with plot pacing & each chapter left me eager to start the next. In fact, I finished the novel in less than 24 hours! I was enthralled from the first chapter & I highly recommend this novel for readers who are interested in an honest look at mental illness (bipolar disorder, specifically) as well as those who want a bit of mystery. This was an awesome read!

Before I Fall is a mixture of magical, strange, cult, and a feeling of wrongness. From the moment Corey steps back into her old town to the moment the ending occurred things felt simply wrong.

Honestly when I was first reading this book I was almost put off by the strangeness of it all. Every relationship in this book, every person that appeared said and did things that simply felt off and so wrong to me. So much so that when I first put down this book I only had it at a three star rating. However, now after it has been over a month since I read Before I Fall or really even thought of it much I can appreciate the story so much better.

Yes Before I Fall is strange and causes a stirring of uncomfortable feeling when you first read it, but that’s what makes it so good. Your not really meant to truly like anyone in this novel. The slow descent into madness that this story goes into is meant to make you feel like you have your skin crawling in a weird way.

Before I Fall is an eclectic novel that blurs reality and magic and becomes something almost akin to an abstract painting. There are o many questions left unanswered (as far as the community and the magic and overall strangeness not about plot), so many things that make you think back later about the story in a similar way you would a dream.

Before I Fall is far from perfect, but i find myself having warmed up to it after distancing myself from it. It is uncomfortable and eccentric, but in those ways I have found myself appreciating it for what it is.

This book was like an Alaskan Hot Fuzz without the jokes. I enjoyed the first half and realised quite rapidly that the whole town were basically responsible for Kyra's death. It was said more than enough times that she didn't fit in.
I found the second half of the book rather slow and felt it could have been a lot more concise. I felt like not a lot happened during the second half.
The book tackled some tough subjects like mental health and I think this helps to ease the stigma attached to mental health issues, so well done to the author for that.

I was really excited about this book, and I put it on my list to be read immediately after I discovered it. Unfortunately, it just fell a little flat for me. The main character was very two dimensional to me, and seemed just not very real. Might recommend, but there are such better books out there on this topic.

2.5 stars
I have very mixed feelings about this book. I enjoyed the idea behind the story and the inclusion of an eerie background (Alaska), diverse representation (pansexual, aces, gay, bisexual, bipolar disorder, etc) but I felt like something was still missing. The book was well written as it was easy to read, but I was confused by the lack of character development and major plot points.

I have literally just put this book down, and I am in a state of being able to do nothing but share my opinion of it immediately. I need to talk about this book. I need to talk about Kyra, the girl diagnosed as bipolar, lost in the town of Lost, Alaska, because no one wanted to understand or accept her. Except her best friend Corey, but in the end even Corey failed her. And now Kyra is gone just days before Corey was set to visit on a college break. Kyra promised to wait for her, so why is Corey returning for her funeral? It was suicide, the town says. A town that now seems to revere Kyra and speaks of her as if she were a legend. They say it was her time. How can that be possible for someone so young, someone with such hopes and dreams and a determination to fight an illness that tries so hard to overtake her? Corey is determined to find out what happened, but the truth holds as little light as the endless dark days in the small Alaskan town.

Marieke Nijkamp is an author to watch. She doesn't just write a story. She pulls you in so deeply you cannot walk away with ease. The characters become a part of you, and you feel the pain with them. The style of writing had a lot to do with that, I believe. Alternating between memories, letters from Kyra to Corey, and the current time, it is almost like we are being written into Kyra's bipolar frame of mind. We are controlled by the same feelings of fear, hope, anger, love and sadness that held her captive.

The closer I got to the end, the harder it was to breathe. I wanted to know, but the truth was too painful. I wanted Kyra's story to be a happy, hopeful one, but it was already too late for that. All I could do was hear it, feel her pain, and mourn her loss.

Kyra will not soon leave me, just as she never left Lost. A part of her will remain with me. This is one of those rare books that I will never forget.

This book has a lot of atmosphere, but that said, it's very repetitive and does nothing to build a mood.

The book tells the story of Corey, a teenage girl, who has recently moved from a remote village in Alaska to Canada, where she is popular and liked in her new boarding school. In the village, she has left behind her best friend, Kyla, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and is shunned by the other town citizens.

Corey returns to the town after discovering that her best friend has slipped into a frozen lake and died, either by design (which Corey believes) or by accident.

The town's people are immediately the object of suspicion and nothing in the book builds this, we are just immediately thrown into that understanding.

While there were some interesting themes explored, the book overall dragged on and offered little to no build up or explanation of the "revelations," some of which were obvious. I did not really enjoy this book.

When Cory's friend Kyra ends up dead in Lost Creek, Alaska; Cory has a hard time processing how it could happen, then upon looking into the strange events surrounding her death becomes certain that something is going on. Will Cory live long enough to see what that is?

I had high expectations for this one but it turned out to be okay. Everything was just kind of meh. I feel like the author didn't have enough clarity on her own motivation for these characters and that came across in the writing.

There are things that could be really great about this book--diverse characters, a msytery, mental health issues. But ultimately, I don't know what to make of it. What was the point of the script format?

This book covered many important discussion topics- depression, bipolar disorder, and suicide. I thought the story was slow and not one of my favorites.

A young adult book that really didn't go anywhere fast. It was hard to care about 99% of the residents in Lost River, Alaska.
The story begins with Corey hearing that Kyra, her best friend, has died. She decides to go back to say goodbye, all the while thinking it can't be true. No one wants to talk about it and though she lived there for all but the last 7 months, they think of her and treat her as an outsider.
I read 40 % and found I just didn't care what happened in Lost so I put it down for good.
Thank you NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Live on the blog and will go up on Goodreads sometime later.

In a Flutter: Chilling and engaging
Fluttering Thoughts:
Worldbuilding: Lost Creek, Alaska setting. Creepiness of small town with strange townspeople galore.
Characters: Corey and Kyra had a very close friendship. An odd match, maybe, the scientist and the artist, but such a close one. It’s interesting how Corey’s personality comes through in connection to Kyra’s presence or absence. Early on in the read I got the sense that it was maybe more than friendship there, especially on Kyra’s part. I felt this undercurrent of heartbreak to her. Jesus, some of these moments in the story gave me the chills for real.
Plot: The then and now structure of the timeline isn’t a fav of mine, but it builds a lot of suspense around Kyra’s death. Some parts of the story are tearjerkers. The mystery of her death is resolved in a heartbreaking way, and the end is good but terribly bitter – which I like, lol!
Writing: First person, present and past tense narrative, Corey’s POV. Such a vivid, vibrant voice!
Curb Appeal: Fab cover and hooking blurb – impulsive buy for my (rare) YA cravings.

I recommend Before I Let Go to fans of stories that feature mental illness, small town stories, glbtq+ themes, and dramatic mysteries.