Overall I liked this book even though it wasn't quite the thriller I had anticipated. In fact, it got a little weird with this sort of cult-ish undertone to it. I was looking for more of a straight up 'who done it' but still enjoyed it nonetheless.
I had recently returned from Alaska prior to reading this which is why I originally picked it. The author did a great job of capturing the feel of Alaska and I could imagine being back there.

Corey and Kyra were best friends and inseparable. When Corey moves away from their small snow-covered town in Lost Creek, Alaska, she leaves Kyra behind in a town that hated her. So she makes Kyra promise to stay strong until she returns. Just days before Corey is set to return back to Lost Creek she receives a phone call, Kyra is dead. When she gets to Lost Creek, she is treated like a stranger and met with hostility. Corey struggles to get an answer to her simple question of ‘What happened?’. Corey knows something is wrong and Lost Creek is keeping chilling secrets.

I’m a little conflicted about my feelings for Before I Let Go. I really liked Marieke Nijkamp’s other novel This is Where it Ends and went into this with high expectations. Unfortunately, I was disappointed with the lack of ‘mystery’ and lack of ‘suspense’.

There were a few things that I really liked about Before I Let Go. For example, I really loved the Alaskan winter backdrop. It provided an eerie atmosphere which, unfortunately, didn’t manage to add any suspense to the plot.

One of my favourite aspects of this was that it subverted the ‘inspiration porn’ trope that is so often commonly used in books that feature characters with depression, bipolar, etc. Lost Creek was a town that shunned Kyra because they thought she was ‘weird’ and didn’t fit in. That is until they saw the art she created, which she used as a coping mechanism. Then they revered her, put her on a pedestal, believed it was her calling, that her art had ‘meaning’ and treated Kyra like a ‘prophet’. Seeing her not for her but for what her bipolar created. I liked Corey’s anger at the discoveries she made. I liked her anger at how they saw and treated Kyra. I believe it sends some really important messages.

Before I Let Go also has an ace character. Corey states on-page that she is asexual. I have read a couple of times that Before I Let Go is an ownvoices book, but I don’t know for sure. But I feel like the narrative sometimes equates both asexuality and aromanticism. Also, Krya is stated on-page to be pansexual!

While I liked the main characters and enjoyed the relationship between Corey and Kyra, I felt like the characters and relationships were a little underdeveloped. I liked the flashbacks but would have preferred more insight into the relationship. To see their loyalty and devotion. Corey felt a lot of conflict and guilt over Kyra’s death, but it did feel a little cliche and similar to a … lot of other YA thrillers.

Overall, not necessarily a bad book, but a book that fell flat against my expectations.

I really loved the author's first book, This Is How It Ends so I was excited to read Before I Let Go. I love Young Adult books, as well as the Thriller/Suspense genre. However, I was fairly disappointed by this book, other bloggers had compared it to Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas which is one of my all time favorite books and it doesn't even compare.
I feel like I have read this plot before and I found it to be fairly predictable. It did have some diverse characters, but I just really didn't get invested with any of the characters and therefore just really couldn't get into the plot. This book does deal with some sensitive subjects, including mental illness and sexuality and although I like that authors try to write these subjects into fictional books, the execution isn't always great. The characters in this book also felt fairly underdeveloped, with the exception of Corey.
I didn't really enjoy this book, but I really liked the author's first book, so I do hope to read more from her in the future.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an ARC of this book.

After reading THIS IS HOW IT ENDS by Marieke Nijkamp, I knew I was in for a treat with her next release. This book is every bit as intense, emotional, and heartwrenching as her first book, but in a very different way. The setting is offbeat, unique, and perfect for this type of story. Nijkamp's writing is beautiful and gives readers all the feels. This is definitely a story that will stick with me for a long time.

She moved away from the small Alaskan town that was home and left behind her best friend. Corey had good intentions, she never planned on ignoring Kyra’s attempts to say in contact. She never meant to turn her back on the lonely, tormented girl the town feared, the girl who suffered from mental illness. Now she is back, because Kyra is dead and no one will tell her what really happened, yet the town has changed. They are almost cult-like in their worship of Kyra’s visionary art, the paintings she only did as a release from her pain. What happened in the year she was gone? What guilt does Corey feel? What is the town covering up? Who is trying to kill Corey to keep their secrets safe?

BEFORE I LET GO by Marieke Nijkamp is a very dark tale told with an almost dreamlike quality, edges blurred, details not quite clear, always with something not quite known. One thing is clear, there is something wrong with the town, something wrong with the secrets they collectively keep and something wrong with how they changed toward Kyra, but we only get shards of the truth, shards of the rest of the story. There is no resolution, no “justice,” if you will.

There is definitely pain, tons of guilt, darkness and intrigue, as well as the intense feeling of “wrongness” that seems will never be answered, which made it difficult for me to connect with both the story and the characters. I was left unsettled and feeling I missed something. There is no healthy acceptance of mental illness and no message of hope directed at the young, impressionable audience this emotional tale is directed at.

I received a complimentary ARC edition from Sourcebooks Fire in exchange for my voluntary review.

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire (January 2, 2018)
Publication Date: January 2, 2018
Genre: YA | Depression
Print Length: 372 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews & More: http://tometender.blogspot.com

An ARC has been offered by the publisher in exchange for an honest opinion
“Hers is a story that deserves to be told. Hers is a story that deserves to be heard. It’s the story of a girl who believed in heroes and wanted to be one herself. Who saw stories in the world around her, and who regaled an entire Alaskan town with them. And hers is a story of how they started to believe her. “

4,5 “eerie” stars

This book will be hard to review without spoiling your fun so I’ll probably keep it short.

I’ve seen readers stopping their reads as they were lost about what kind of book this story was.
When “it” happened I was puzzled and confused too. I wondered where the author was headed to with the choice she made for this book. It took a turn I totally did not expect based on the blurb. Yet I still loved it. Maybe because this story can’t be put into a box?
Marieke Nijkamp’s writing is excellent! The story is nerve racking with an oppressive mood. Everything happens in this very, very small town lost in Alaska with endless nights and snow everywhere. It is weighting on you. It has an oppressive and eerie feeling. Lost is a town that thrives on secrets.
The small clues left here and there built up the tension till the apex of the thriller.
All along I was uneasy, shivering, shoulders tense and I could not put it down.

Back to the story now!
When Corey comes back home to Lost after she’s learned that her best friend Kyra has been found dead she soon realizes that Lost is not home anymore.
So much has changed that it’s scary. Its inhabitants who could not stand Kyra seem to have claimed her. She is mourned fervently by everyone and that’s so not what Corey remembers!

Corey is grieving. She had a very tight friendship with Kyra. Kyra was “special” and I won’t say more about this as to not spoil the book. Let’s just say that the way Marieke Nijkamp described what Kyra went through was spot on. Take it from someone who also has this “kind of” special friends.

Corey is resenting the town so much! Where were they when Kyra suffered all these years? When they rejected her? Where were they when she needed love and acceptance the more?
Kyra suffered so long from their rejection because in this little town anything different feels like a threat.
“Why is everyone so afraid of me?” “Because you’re unpredictable.” Like spring storms and inaccessible mines. “In Lost, unpredictability has never been good.”

But Corey is also struggling with her guilt as she can’t avoid thinking that she left Kyra alone too. She has her death on her hands too.

In the span of six days Corey will try to understand what happened in the few months she left. What really happened to Kyra and to the town?
She also realizes that even if she is born and grew up for more than sixteen years in Lost she is now an outsider.

Marieke Nijkamp did a stellar job at writing suspense. The oppressive atmosphere. The eyes always watching every move Corey did. The petals appearing in her room. The fever overcoming the town. The small signs Corey gathers to show her that Kyra’s death may be not what it seems.

Know beforehand that things will be left unexplained even by the end of the book. Things beyond our logical grasp. If you can’t stand a book leaving questions unanswered then don’t read this. But if you love books and movies with a mysterious and scary feel, if you love spooky atmosphere then this could be your next fix.

It was my first Marieke Nijkamp and it won’t be my last as she thinks and writes “out of the box”.

I really enjoyed this author's first book, so I was very disappointed when I read this one.

The writing is so stiff and there is a coldness to the entire story that did not manage to keep my interest. After about page 150, I was really hoping the end of this story would happen fast.

For sixteen years, Corey and Kyra have been friends. Together they roamed the forests of Lost Creek, Alaska, went to school together and spent their free time together. Then, six months ago, Corey moved away with her mother and younger brother and left Kyra alone. Alone in a town who hated the girl because she was different. Her maniac-depressive behaviour irritated the 250 inhabitants of the small city; she was at best invisible, at worst an outsider. Two days before Corey is due to visit, Kyra is found dead. Beneath the ice of a lake in mid-winter. For Corey this is not only a shock, but unbelievable. Kyra cannot be dead and she would never have killed herself so shortly before her arrival. Her suspicion grows the closer she comes to her former hometown and finally there, she is not greeted with unanimous joy.

Marieke Nijkamp’s novel is set against the Alaskan winter which perfectly reflects the mood of the novel. The atmosphere is gloomy and often spooky throughout the story and at times it actually gave me the creeps. It is a wonderful merge of a young adult novel and a thriller.

Yet, first of all, it is a novel about friendship. Corey remembers her time with Kyra, the good ones and the bad ones and she is ruminating about the question if she has left her friend, left her alone with the ill-natured people of Lost Creek who resented her with her escapades. Could she have prevented a possible suicide or even murder of her friend? A tough question for a sixteen-year-old girl alone and face to face with a whole hostile town.

On the other hand, it is a novel about life in a reclusive community who considers people who moved away outsiders after only a short time and who are hard to anybody who does not fit in their world-view. Where people do not talk much to somebody who does not belong to the inner circle. And a community who lives to its own laws and values. After only a couple of months, Corey does not understand them anymore, does not recognise the people she once loved anymore.

Looming above all this is the question what happened to Kyra. Did she really change after Corey left? Did the people actually change in the last couple of weeks? Or is this just the story Corey is told to hide the truth.

The author has a great talent in making you feel with the protagonist, I experienced this when I read her novel “This is where it ends” about a school shooting, too. “Before I let go” is a quick read that I enjoyed a lot.

Honestly, I just didn't really like this book. I was intrigued by the premise, and I kept waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever really did. It was quite repetitive and I didn't feel like it was enough. Of anything.

This is a "did not finish" for me! After 100 pages it was just so incredibly mediocre and uninteresting I decided to drop it. Perhaps read by a teenager it might have more appeal? Since I DNF this book I will not rate it or post a review on any public media since I don't think that's fair to the author, it may have a great ending that I just couldn't get to.
Thanks for the opportunity!

Before I Let Go was an emotional story. It deals with grief. With loneliness. With mental illness. It also shares hope, dreams, loyalty and friendship. The writing was haunting, and the main characters made me feel her anguish.

Unfortunately, Before I Let Go wasn't for me. It was incredibly repetitive and, frankly, a bit boring. I wanted to mark this one DNF, but I kept reading in hopes of something happening that would make the book worth reading.

Skip this one, in my opinion.

* This book was received from Sourcebooks Fire via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. *

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is the story of best friends Kyra and Corey. One girl is dead and one is trying to figure out why. It's a magical story about love, loss, hope and secrets but the story just happened to fall flat for me.

Corey arrives back home to Lost, Alaska in the wake of her best friends death. Her best friend being Kyra, the Bi-polar town outcast that everyone tries to have sent away. Lost is a town that doesn't like change or anything unpredictable and those are the two things Kyra brings to their doorsteps. Kyra killed herself because of her Bi-polar, or so it seems, and Corey sets out to figure out the truth. The entire town is hiding something, including Kyra's parents. They tell Corey that while she was gone, they came to love an appreciate Kyra, but at what expense? They tell Corey she is now an outsider and they don't want her there anymore. But she can't leave without the truth and the town won't let her leave WITH the truth.

This book had such an interesting plot and it was sad and made me angry but aside from those few things, it really did nothing for me. It hurt my heart so very much to give this book the low rating that I gave it. I ADORED the authors first book and it will forever be in my collection but Before I Let Go, sadly will not.

There were also some good points to the story. Otherwise why would I have given it the rating I did? The friendship between Kyra and Corey was beautiful yet fragile. Then you have the mystery behind Kyras death and Corey's unwillingness to accept anything at face value. I also truly loved the descriptions of Kyra's art(despite how she felt about it) and her love of stories. I feel like a character is more realistic when they have an obsession or passion. The book was also set in Alaska. That is pretty rare and I loved that. Trust me, there were a bunch of positive parts to the story, it just didn't live up to my expectations and felt a little boring to me.

In the end, I will still recommend this book to people. I would probably say read Before I Let Go first if you haven't read her previous book that way you might spare yourself and disappointment. Also, the ending was pretty anticlimactic. It just... ended.

Overall, I gave the book 3/5 stars.

The unique setting and cryptic letters scattered throughout the story were intriguing, but the writing itself seemed choppy and disjointed. Corey and Kyra's characters just never developed enough to fully grab my attention or commitment as a reader. I don't see most teens making it through this text.

Like many interested in this books, I've been wanting to read this because of This Is Where It Ends. But I have come across something quite different.

Corey hears of her best friend's death with surprise. Kyra, who has suffered for a long time for being bipolar, had promised she'd wait until Corey could visit her. Just a few days until then, she wouldn't have broken it after enduring the secluded Alaskan town of Lost Creek by herself for over half a year. Back in her hometown, Corey learns Lost doesn't treat outsiders well, for she is now an outsider herself.

I had to think longer than usual before deciding how to rate this book. I ended it doubtful even whether I liked what I read. That's why Id say it's a 2.5 rounded up. It's not a simple read. It floats from genre from genre as Corey investigates more about Kyra's passing, but it takes too long to define what it is. I know many books that succeeded in this lack of definition but Before I Let Go was a disappointment.

You will feel a little creeped out because the setting is "claustrophobic", as Corey herself calls. You will feel intrigued, because there are too many things that don't fit the official story surrounding Kyra's last months alive. You will feel frustrated, because Corey can only look back, which won't change that Kyra is gone. You will feel many things, and that will make you keep going. That's what made me. It was a book that made me believe things would get somewhere that would make it brilliant.

Unfortunately, it builds too much tension for a development that I'd call absurd. Many times I would question everything about it so absurd it was getting. But that's what the story is, it's absurd. And again, unfortunately, they don't recognize it. I actually like those stories that are simply so unbelievable anything can happen. Before I Let Go still takes itself seriously, making the climax too lukewarm. I guess Nijkamp has this flaw when developing her plot, because I also thought This Is Where It Ends turned a bit too lukewarm for the plot it had, only the characters there and whole setting saved it for me. Before I Let Go can't count much on either.

But what bothered me the most was Kyra's bipolarity. The way she developed this part made me too uncomfortable. I can't spoil things for you going into details but I don't approve her approach and would rather if she had taken time to differentiate things better.

What I did like here:

Nijkamp brings again diverse characters to the main roles.

I've never been to Alaska to know how accurate, but her description made me feel there.

While I didn't like how she developed Kyra being bipolar, but I thought it was fitting how she described her isolation from the community and Corey's feeling toward the issue.

The setting is dark, the development was messy and a little dramatic but the book can be read in a day thanks to Nijkamp's style. If you're still in doubt, you can try it without wasting too much time.

Nijikamp proved she can vary her plots a lot, this has very little in common with This Is Where It Ends. It's not every author of contemporary YA who goes that extra mile.

The cover is spectacularly beautiful.

This book reminded me of The Accident Season by Moïra Fowley-Doyle, which I enjoyed more because of a better use of the absurd. Still, I'd say it's the best reference to anyone wondering whether to read Before I Let Go. I still plan to follow Nijkamp and look forward to her next novel.

Having read a book by author Marieke Nijkamp before I knew I had to check out her new novel Before I Let Go. A completely different vibe, but a mystery which is right up my alley.

One thing I will give Nijkamp is that these two novels I have read of hers both touched on hard hitting topics that are typically taboo. The first was school shootings and Before I Let Go touched on mental health. I love reading stories that go above the norm and have you finding yourself in territories undiscovered. I know some about mental health and the struggles that people go through, but reading different takes on it always gives me more insight. Before I Let Go follows Corey as she returns home to her tiny home town of Lost, Alaska to visit her best friend Kyra. Only Kyra died two days before Corey's arrival in an apparent suicide. Corey is sad and expects to be welcomed with open arms by the residence that all know each other so well, but it turns out she is unwelcome. Now labeled an outside the story follows Corey as she tries to piece together what happen to her best friend to lead her to suicide and why the town is acting so strange.

From the first step on Lost soil I was intrigued. Corey was met with so much animosity even before she questioned what was happening that you knew there was something sinister lying beneath the surface. Corey's character was strong and brave, especially for a teenage girl. I would not have been able to handle the situation quite like her. Normally I am not a fan of flashbacks, but this story would not have made much sense without. Between occasional chapters we got a glimpse of Kyra and Corey in the two years or so leading up to the current timeline. These flashbacks gave us a glimpse as to what could have led Kyra to suicide or why the town was acting so strange.

I mentioned how Nijkamp talked about mental illness. Kyra suffered from bipolar disorder and some other mental health conditions that stem from that, such as a deep depression. The flashbacks gave witness to how those highs and lows affected those around her and why some people just could not understand her personality, making her almost a pariah in the community. As the story continued we found out more about how those who did not understand Kyra's mental illness misconstrued things and forced her into ideas and actions they felt were making her happy. All of these things are topics that most don't talk about, let along write books about, but Nijkamp never backs away from them.

I loved Nijkamp's view of mental illness and the twisted story that weaved itself around Kyra and Corey. I never knew who to trust at each turn and found myself actually gasping at times and having to take just one more minute to find out what happen next. Needless to say I finished this book in two days. A real page turner. It even had a cult like vibe to it at times with the townsfolk, which is not typically the type of story I would enjoy, but somehow all these aspects fit together to make a truly interesting, deep, spine tingling mystery. While it may be labeled YA Fiction, I feel Before I Let Go is a good novel for anyone who likes mysteries and wants to be surprised at the end. Definitely pick up a copy.

When Corey moved away from her home town of snow covered Lost Creek, Alaska she promised her best friend, Kyra, that she would always stay in touch and always be there for her. As with most teens though Corey’s new life and new friends she made after her move kept her busy so she wasn’t the best with keeping in touch with Kyra. Corey did have plans for returning to Lost Creek very soon though and finally seeing Kyra again.

Unfortunately Corey receives a phone call that Kyra has passed away, she was found under the ice in the lake that should have been frozen solid this time of year. Some think that Kyra purposely went looking for a weak spot in the ice and a way to end her own life after battling mental illness for years. Corey knows she needs to return to Lost Creek and get some answers on just what happened to her best friend.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is a young adult mystery read. After finishing this book I’m beginning to think that perhaps Marieke Nijkamp is just not an author for me. Last year I read This Is Where It Ends and while the idea behind the story was one that I was really taken in with the execution of the book left a lot to be desired for me and unfortunately now I can say the same with Before I Let Go.

I think really my biggest issue with this book came with the character development which was pretty non-existent. Corey is really the only character that felt developed and I find myself hard pressed to say even that as all that is repeated is she and Kyra had been close so now instead of owning up to her own mistakes she is determined to find who is at fault for Kyra’s death which should be touching and emotional but instead I just disliked Corey and found myself not caring if other’s were at fault or not.

Now as far as the mystery is concerned in this one it is buried within the repetitive nature of Corey blaming the town and eventually does come to light. It’s one that I might have been really taken with as there was a creepy and disturbing vibe but if I blinked while reading I would have missed it as that part of the story wasn’t developed very well in my opinion. So as sad as I am to say this one just wasn’t for me and as much as the ideas behind Ms. Nijkamp’s stories appeal to me I think this may be my last attempt.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.

Honestly...I just couldn't get into this book. It's extremely well written, but started slowly enough that I just couldn't get emotionally involved. HOWEVER. As I said, it IS well written, and will still suit many readers. I just wasn't the right one for this book.

Before I Let Go is a suspenseful thriller about a young woman whose death is mysteriously hidden from her best friend. When Corey returns home to Alaska she finds that her best friend, Kyra, dead. It appears that she has committed suicide, with the entire town trying to stop Corey from finding out the truth. Young adults will enjoy this thriller about friendship, mental illness, and fighting to what you know is right.

Interesting look into grief and memories of place versus the stories we choose to tell ourselves and others.