before I let go

By: Marieke Nijkamp

Publisher: Sourcefire Books

Publication Date: 2018

Corey and Kyra are best friends in the very small town of Lost Creek, Alaska, pop. 246. Corey’s mom moves the family to Winnipeg and days before she comes back to see her best friend, Kyra is dead. It seems impossible for the bright, bipolar friend to be gone and Corey keeps her plane reservation and flies to Lost. Gone just a few months, Lost is different. Instead of the social outcast that Kyra had always been, Corey finds her honored. Over and over Corey is told that she’s an outsider and that Kyra was loved by Lost. Corey can’t believe that Kyra would be loved by everyone and she sets out to investigate her friend’s “murder”.

This is an incredible psychological thriller that will take you on a trip. What really happened to Kyra? Who is to blame and why is Corey suddenly an outsider in this small community. Kyra paints during her manic depression periods and then tears them up. But suddenly her pictures are everywhere. Will Corey find the truth? Will anyone believe her? Or will Kyra’s picture of her inside a burning building be a real prophecy? No matter what anyone says, Kyra didn’t survive her town. “We call them hero days,” Kyra said, “because that is when we fight fear itself. And we win.”

The story bounces from the moment to any period in the last two years. The girls conversations bounce to the action of the moment. The story races along, back and forth in time, trying to give glimpses of what happened to Kyra and what danger Corey is in.

Highly recommended: Grades 8 & up.

An exciting YA mystery. Kyra has died in a frozen pond in a remote Alaska village. Her best friend returns to mourn and find the reason. She is not greeted as a friend by the community even though she grew up there. Kyra suffered from bi-polar illness and was a talented artist. Her pictures and murals are all over town and seem to be sending a message.
This will be a good addition to any YA collection. Friendship, mourning, coming to terms with life, all give this book a must read status.

I found the book to be a bit choppy - I didn't mind the flashbacks, but at times they seemed unnecessary. I closed the book with so many questions left unanswered, but it sure would make for a good discussion. It is rather haunting. . Also a very nice book to read on a very hot summer day.

I'm surprised how disappointed I was with this title. I understand that the author is part of a diversity initiative, but the inclusion of some of the, um, inclusions seemed gratuitous. For example, in only one paragraph in the whole book was it thrown in that Corey had a black friend at school. It wasn't made relevant to the story; it wasn't necessary to the characterization or plot development; it was just thrown in for diversity's sake. That's not really my first disappointment, though. It's related to how many themes this one book tackles. Manic-depression, gays and lesbians, asexuality, suicide, the environment, precognition, superheroes, There were also a few Leitwortstils going on: the "endless day, endless night" song and "So be it." Nothing wrong with this device, but it felt excessive. The salmonberries motif was never resolved other than to allude to the fact that that "they don't grow here... The girl holds flowers that shouldn't be." The foreshadowing throughout the story was too obvious, too blatant -- luckily, none of the plot foreshadowing got mixed in with the prescient aspects of Kyra's malady. The superhero and the stars motifs left nothing to the reader's imagination; the author spelled out the metaphors through the characters' thoughts and dialog. I also had questions as to some of the characters' actions. For example, while I understand why a teen gets involved in life and cannot answer ever letter she receives, I don't understand why Corey didn't respond to Kyra's "I want to study myths, not star in one" letter. Also, how can the town folk keep accusing Corey of leaving when she was just a 17 year old girl who was moved by her mother's job situation and not someone who ran from the situation? How did Roshan, who didn't even know Corey seven months ago, know that the Hendersons "care about you [Corey], like a second daughter" ... Especially since Kyra was separated from her family for quite some time in the seven months since Corey left? Finally, was the seven months that Corey was gone enough time for the whole town to turn into the Stepford Wives? I guess I expected realistic fiction and got magical realism, which is irrelevant to my overall reaction to the storytelling. This would make a good book from which to teach metaphors and motifs, but it's not a must-have title for a school library.