I got an eARC of this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Julia has never been the perfect daughter. The perfect one was her older sister, Olga. When Olga dies, the family shatters from grief. Julia's mother begins putting her attention on Julia, in hopes of avoiding dealing with her grief. This creates great issues for Julia, who feels stifled. Julia can't have any opinions or do anything right, so instead she sneaks around her mother. Julia is finding out new information about Olga, which paints her as a very different daughter than everyone believed. Will Julia ever be able to be herself and fit in with her family?

None of the characters in this book were likeable, but to be fair they were going through some serious emotional turmoil. I thought this was a solid novel.

This book went a lot of places that I didn't expect, particularly when it came to the unapologetic discussions of depression, anxiety and trauma, as well as familial expectations and the lies we tell both ourselves and others. The characters are bold and vibrant and the writing drew me in. But I felt an ultimate disconnect from the story and am looking forward to reading more Latinx novels that focus on the vibrancy and joy of our communities, despite the struggle, rather than reinforcing ideas of immigration being nothing but misery.

I couldn’t get into the book. It was really slow to start.

Julia Reyes feels like no one in the world understands her, and is caught between her mother's repressive, traditional Mexican expectations of her to be submissive, spend her time cooking and cleaning, and living with her parents until she marries someone appropriate, and her own desires to be independant and make her own decisions. She dreams of going to college far away and becoming a writer. She will never measure up to the memory of her sister Olga, recently killed in a tragic accident, who in their parents' eyes was the "perfect Mexican daughter". But, as Julia struggles to make her parents understand her need for independence and privacy, she discovers that Olga was not the perfect daughter everyone thought she was.

I've seen this book compared to "Gabi: A Girl In Pieces" and in many ways it is similar. Gabi and Julia are both struggling against their mothers' rigid, traditional gender roles and expecctations, and desire to go away to college and make their own choices in life. They both experience tragic deaths in their families and have friends going through the dramas of teen pregnancy (or the possibility of) and not being accepted by their families because of sexual orientation. Food is also prevalent in both stories, and both express their feelings through their writing.

However, while Gabi seems to be fairly well-adjusted and deals with her issues with humor and confidence, Julia's story is much darker and more melancholy. Julia feels overwhelmed, and trapped in a life she doesn't want, and feels powerless to get out. Her depression and anxiety become more severe after her sister's death, until she can no longer cope. While I would have to say I enjoyed the lighter tone of Gabi's story more, this book is very powerful and could possibly help others who may be dealing with depression and anxiety as well, I think this book does a lot to help de-stigmatize mental illness, and illustrates how a combination of medication and therapy can help. The secondary story of Julia's sister Olga also adds an additional element of mystery to the story.

While the Mexican culture and immigration issues do play a significant part in this story, I think most people can relate to the struggle between others' expecations of them and what they want for themselves to some degree, and many people can relate to the feelings of frustration and despair that Julia has, so it certainly should have appeal to a wide audience.

Recommended for teens and adults.

White people like me are unlikely to get this book or get much from it either. It’s just a fact because this book is for and about all the Latinx kids chafing in their households and family traditions but still in love their heritage and culture because identity is cimplicated. Some of what Julia lives with because it’s a Mexican thing or just something her mom Amá just does are downright abusive. Even after learning about what Amá went through and why she is the way she is, it’s hard to forgive her for the way she treated Julia. Insulting Julia to her face so many times! Good God!

Julia is an abrasive girl narrating a very character-driven book, so her personality will either make it or break it for readers. She’s also diagnosed with depression later in the book, adding dimension to portrayals of the disease. The mere word makes you think “sadness all the time,” but that isn’t always how you see it. Some people, like Julia, are constantly angry instead. There is no single way depression expresses itself and we can’t forget that. What’s undeniable above all is how well-written Julia is in her fury and familial claustrophobia.

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter is very pro-medication/therapy for dealing with mental illness too. I swear, I’m going to start a definitive list of books like these for teens because THERAPY AND MEDICATION THAT FIGHTS BACK AGAINST MENTAL ILLNESS IS GOOD. DON’T LET THE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THE TWO STOP YOU.

My one true sticking point comes when Julia insults someone’s hair by saying the woman has an “asexual mom haircut.” I don’t appreciate my sexuality or anyone else’s used as an insult! (Well, except for heteros because it doesn’t hurt anyone, participate in systemic discrimination, or happen all that often, which therefore makes it hilarious. See: white people jokes.)

My best friend is Latina with roots stretching from Mexico to Peru. Her first language was Spanish and she was downgraded from advanced classes in junior high to regular-level classes for the first half of high school because her eighth-grade English teacher didn’t think she spoke well enough to remain in advanced classes despite having excellent grades. Her relationship with her family as of late has also been very complicated.

If she were a fan of prose novels, I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter is THE book I’d hand to her. Something tells me she’d find a kindred spirit in Julia. I hope its place on the NBA longlist will help get it into the hands of more Latinx teens who need it! If you’re a white person like me, I hope you do your part to get this book to the readers it’s for. If you’re not, I doubt you needed me to tell you this book is worthwhile. You’re smart like that.

Julia is miserable. It's not been that long since her sister Olga died, and along with the pain from her sister being gone, her mother has now turned her sights on Julia. She finds the attention stifling, and it seems she can never do anything right.

After rummaging in Olga's things one night, Julia finds a few items that suggest maybe Julia didn't know her dowdily dressed sister as well as she thought she did. It starts her on a road to find out what her saintly sister was doing with the scandalous items, and to figure out who Julia is when she's not feeling like she has to live up to everyone's expectations.

A beautiful tale of a girl defying the expectations of traditional parents she feels are stuck in the past, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life. Make sure to add this to your book list--it appeals to young and older alike.

Julia is far from perfect. She's rebellious, irritable. A teenage misanthrope. But she and her parents are still reeling from the death of her supposedly perfect older sister, Olga, who walked in front of a truck while texting. Devastated by this loss, her mother pressures Julia to conform to her own conservative values, and Julia complies as best she can. Her best isn't very good, and their relationship frays. Julia has also discovered evidence that Olga may not have been the perfect Mexican daughter they believed her to be.

I became caught up in this story very quickly, so much so that I put it down only when I had to go to sleep or to work. Is it a perfect book? No. I felt Julia's willingness to open up with a counselor came a bit too easily. She didn't keep her guard up at a moment when she would have felt most vulnerable. But the author, Erika L. Sánchez, kept the story moving along so well, that this wasn't a deal breaker for me.

When Julia is sent to visit her grandmother in Mexico, we see a different side of her. It is there she discovers that her sister was not the only one with a secret, that her parents suffered terrible trauma on the journey to the US. No one is quite who Julia believed them to be, but they are deeper, more complex characters, capable of more strength than she had ever suspected.

Other reviews have referred to Julia's lack of likability. Call me a misanthrope too, if you must, but I didn't have a problem with her, especially since at about the time her personality reaches its crescendo, the reader realizes that this is a girl who is deeply, clinically depressed and in real trouble. I tend to be sensitive to unsympathetic protagonists and will bail if I dislike a narrator. It never occurred to me to bail on this one.

I AM NOT YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DAUGHTER is a welcome addition to contemporary YA literature about the Latina experience in the US. I enjoyed the setting in Chicago. There are plenty of books about Latinos in the Southwest or in New York, so I appreciated this change from the familiar. (Latinos in the contemporary South, anyone? I'm trying to convince my students to tell that story because it's theirs.)

Love, love, love!! I absolutely LOVED this book! I felt like I was reading about myself and just loved that connection with the characters and their lives. It was refreshing, comforting, and familiar. Definitely one of my favorite reads of the year!!

One of the best YA novels of the year, I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter, introduces the world to the perfectly imperfect Julia Reyes, who is dealing with the sudden and tragic death of her seemingly perfect sister Olga. Julia's concerns are those universally shared by every high school student who is ready to graduate and move on with her life, and become independent of her parents. Teens will find many connections between themselves and Julia, but may also learn something new. Julia's parents are undocumented, and the story tells the story of how they came to be in Chicago with Julia and her sister. Julia longs for freedom from her strict parents, but struggles with depression after her beloved sister is killed by a truck. Her life is also complicated by clues that her sister left behind that indicate that she may not be the perfect daughter that her parents thought she was. Julia longs to find herself, be free to be herself and also longs for the truth. In order to do so, she must face her demons and learn more about her family's past. This excellent novel is highly recommended. It is compared to Sherman Alexie's Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian, but it offers readers a fresh new voice in the narrator Julia Reyes. This novel should be in every high school library.

I read the last few pages of this book while listening to "Todo Cambia" by Mercedes Sosa, when Julia mentioned it. The song is the perfect soundtrack to this book, and the tears just started flowing her voice sang about how everything changes...Julia's story is sad, frustrating, hopeful, beautiful, full of hurt, secrets, and dreams. Just like life. I loved learning about each of Julia's family members' lives...it took me back to when I had the shocking realizations that my parents had lives before I knew them, and they sacrificed dreams in order to embrace realities. Anyway, this book was modern yet nostalgic, and I think anyone can relate...you don't have to be a teenager, Mexican, child of immigrants, or the black sheep of your family.