I had a very hard time with the book. I think the problem is that the author and I come from different generations and the difference between the experience of mixed race children has changed dramatically in that span of time. What to me sounded as self-hatred tiring and difficult to digest. I understand the gulf between us, but understanding it didn't make me want to continue to read about it. Much later, I heard an interview with the author on NPR and I found her childhood recollections more nuanced and I enjoyed her immensely. Her interview made me want to go back to the book and try again, but I'm scared I'll ruin the joy of the radio interview drudging through the book again. I think I'll leave our relationship on that pleasant NPR note.

Book Title: Real American: A Memoir
Author: Julie Lythcott-Haims
Pub. Date: August 15, 2017
Publisher: MacMillan Publishing Group
Rating: 5 Bookmarks:

Book Blurb: My father was the fucking former Assistant Surgeon General of the God Damn United States. P23

Book Review by Nicole Harmon
I absolutely loved this memoir and this glimpse of history. For me as I read through the book I looked up on the internet via my Google search engine some of what she mentioned. I also looked up some things about where she worked and also figured out her age. This book read to me like a piece of oral history. In fact I wish she had even categorized it as oral history but the memoir works just as well.
This is the story of a woman born of a black man and a white woman at a time like Loving in the south who wasn’t allowed to have that type of relationship. It wasn’t accepted. But it was happening more and more thanks to the Loving decision. Her father a black doctor and her mother a white woman fell in love and lived abroad where they had their daughter who was one of four children. Moving back to the United States she finished out her schooling and attended law school to work as an attorney at a prestigious law firm. But to get there, she had to first face racial adversity.
“Call Mixed kids Black,” the thinking went, “because the world will see and treat them as Black. They’d better claim it and be proud of it. They’d better know how to defend it. How to hold their heads high. Be Black and Proud.” P15 In today’s society the fight for being accepted as a bi-racial child still exists born of two races. But when she was growing up her mother only told her she was black. It wasn’t acceptable to state that she was both black and white and she didn’t understand why her mother didn’t want it known.
Now as an older woman she sees the reasons are inherent in her personality and her actions. She is who she is because of how she was raised and what she was taught. This book shows the side of America that many know but few talk about. Quiet as it’s kept is a phrase that we have all heard but few can say it is for them. She can.
For students of African American Studies and Women’s Studies this book I believe should be considered an elected read but a read none the less. If nothing more than because of what she states about American culture and of her being a Real American. Denied her heritage and acceptance by those who were around her she made her way and became better.
I highly recommend this read to any who will purchase it and read it. It is also a great book club read.

Disclaimer: I received this book in connection with being a book reviewer for Netgalley.com and have received no compensation for writing this review.

I couldn’t put this book down. From start to finish I was completely engrossed in this story of Julie Lythcott-Haims, the daughter of an African- American man and a white British Woman. It was interesting to see the dynamics of her growing up before the term biracial was coined and in use, before Youtube would have been available to help her mom learn how to maintain and style her hair. Lythcott-Haims would live in many different upper-middle class neighborhoods and attend predominantly white schools, where she may have been the only Black girl. She was constantly questioning where she lay on the spectrum of being Black and questioned herself and her position in the Black community. It wasn’t until she was older, until she was married and had kids of her own, that the pieces would fall into place and she would be able to define for herself where she stood, embracing her experiences and forming her own foundation.

I became emotional more than once while reading this memoir. So many moments in this book just resonated with me, hitting so close to home that I could have written the words down myself. It’s startling to see so many experiences that reflect your own. It adds validity to the experience and allows people to realize that they are not alone. I do not have the same story as Lythcott-Haims, but her story reflects a broader look at the experiences within the Black community. And one of the most trying is knowing that you are raising Black children who will continue to live through these experiences. I commend Lythcott-Haimes for so beautifully being able to express her experiences. I could feel the bevy of emotions, the pain, loss, confusion, fear, disgust, happiness, joy, and pride with each page. What would strike me most was the social commentary: whether it’s a friend touching her hair, or someone casually donning blackface, or assuming someone is worth fearing simply because they are Black. Every single commentary spoke a truth about where The United States is as a country right now. Lythcott-Haims wrote about her life and in doing so wrote a story that millions of people will be able to see themselves and their own lives.