After reading and enjoying a lot of suspense books lately I was ready for a change. Before I Knew came along at the right time. Colby was widowed two years ago and is now ready to move on from her grief and start some new ventures in her life. She has decided to open a restaurant and her childhood friend Alec has been hired as the new chef. Alec is also ready to make changes in his life. His brother Joe died just over two years prior to this and Alec has since suffered from depression and career setbacks. Joe had also been friends with Colby and her husband. Needless to say there is a lot of past history between Colby and Alec. Alec wants to run an upscale restaurant and is determined to reclaim his status as an award winning, renowned chef. Colby has other ideas. She wants a more moderate style of restaurant. These are just some of their issues. They also both have trust issues, family issues and secrets they have withheld. As Colby and Alec embark on their professional relationship they realize they want a personal relationship too. How well will this all mix? I found this book very entertaining and enjoyable.

Torn about this book. There were sweet moments and I liked the idea of two childhood friends trying to make it work. But there were so many side storylines and drama between all the family members and a lot of time with the main characters wondering if they're past secrets would allow them to be happy. There just didn't seem to be enough forward movement through much of the story and by the time all the secrets were exposed, I wasn't as excited to see what happened next. On the other hand, I do like how the author dealt with mental illness and the impact it can have on others.

Before I Knew was a very emotional read. I think the author did a fantastic job of writing about mental illness & how it affects so many- not just the one with the disease.

For me personally it was a very depressing read- reading is my escape from life & this was was not an escape. That being said Before I Knew is very well written.

I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book.

book dealt with some very heavy subject matter, so if you like your romance lighthearted and non-angsy, this might not seem like the book for you. But I urge you to give it a try. I will say, I feel like this book might be better characterized as women's fiction, because while there are very strong romantic themes, I think ultimately it's also about Colby and the reimagining of her life.
It's also a second chance love story...a second chance for Alec to win the heart of the woman he's loved most of his life, a second chance for Colby to find her fairytale love and career she loves. It's a second chance for both families to heal, also, if they'll take the chance and let go of anger and blame. That's easier said then done.
My one character driven issue was Alec himself. He is suppose to be this nerdy guy...quiet, a little shy, easygoing where his brother Joe was daring and gregarious. But he's actually a stubborn, loud, diva-chef. I guess it could be chalked up to a before and after personality change based on grief, and while a little distracting, it doesn't overtly affect their relationship. Or my feelings about the book.
I very much enjoyed this introduction to the Cabot family series and love the writing style of Jamie Beck. I can't wait to read more Cabot stories!

A dare, a suicide, and second chances.
Colby on the 2nd anniversary of husband death is starting afresh with A Certain Tea restaurant. Alec a childhood friend returns after an absence to face the tragedies that have occurred.
Heart wrenching story of guilt, secrets, forgiveness and new beginnings.

How do you move past the past -- when even those closest to you have no idea what you experienced and endured, never mind behaved the way that you did? For Colby and Alec, the answers don't come easily, but they do come when these childhood friends work together to build a restaurant, battling ghosts, secrets, and regrets from their pasts and overcoming current challenges. As always, Beck presents an involving story of complex people facing daunting odds, dealing with heartbreaking issues, and finding one another in the process.

I received a complimentary advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

The writing was great but the story was lackluster.

Talk about a struggle, grief and guilt weigh down more than one of the characters in this book. Trying to rebuild their lives based on half truths and never opening up...

I can't imagine the agony and defeat. But what a love story! Silver linings and all that good stuff. Before I Knew is a second chance at everything. Life, living, and love were are defunct until he stepped back into her life.

On the second anniversary of her husband’s suicide, Colby Cabot-Baxter is ready to let go of her grief and the mistakes made during her turbulent marriage. Her fresh start comes in the form of A CertainTea, the restaurant she’s set to open along Lake Sandy, Oregon, with help from her family. But when her executive chef quits just weeks before the grand opening, Colby is pressured to hire old family friend Alec Morgan. His award-winning reputation could generate buzz, but their friendship has withered since her husband’s reckless dare cost Alec’s brother his life.

Distracted by guilty secrets concerning the tragedy that changed his and Colby’s lives, Alec self-destructed and lost his famed restaurant. With his career in tatters, he’s determined to use this opportunity to redeem his reputation and to help the woman he’s loved from afar find happiness again.

But secrets have a way of coming out. When Alec’s do, they might destroy the new life he and Colby have rebuilt together.



* * * * *



I want to say first off that I am a sucker for books set in a location that I am familiar with though I tend to be pickier as the author also has to have a good handle on the streets and even the general attitudes of the people living there. Ms. Beck did a fabulous job with portraying Portland and the surrounding towns. Her descriptions of the sunsets are enough to bring me back to the time I spent living there.


I find that second chance contemporary romances really satisfy my need to believe that there is someone for everyone and you don't have to find that person on the first try. Colby and Alec have a long history as friends but some deaths have put their families on the outs. Regardless, Alec finds that he is still in love with Colby but they both have a lot of baggage to work through. I found myself cheering both of them on as they struggle to find the right note so that their changed relationship will be able to grow stronger.


I really enjoyed BEFORE I KNEW. The story and the characters engrossed me and made me believe in happy ever afters do come about with a little work. I would recommend this book to my readers who enjoy contemporary romance. There is some sex in this book but nothing explicit so all ages could enjoy the story.


*** I received this book at no charge from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions expressed within are my own.

This was a poignant story of secrets, friendship and second chances. The Cabot's and the Morgan's were neighbors and close friends for decades until tragedy struck. This is the story of finding a way back to that friendship and working through all that happened. It was a good story.

There was just way to much going on. Way to many stories and people and no real omg moments.

Emotions run high in this book. It's more than just a second chance at love. It's about rebuilding your life after tragedy. It's about how much you're willing to sacrifice to make your dreams come true and it's about rebuilding your dreams after they shatter.

Colby Cabot-Baxter has been hiding away after her husband's suicide but she's decided to take her life back. She's opening up A CertainTea what she hopes to be a charming tea house in her quaint little town. Things take a turn when her chef decides to not help her open up and once again Colby is left to wonder where it all went wrong. Enter Alec Morgan. He's probably the one who knows what it's like to lose someone you love. It seems his brother died because of Colby's husband.

When they decide to join forces and make this tea shop the best it can be, they realize that tea may not be the only thing they have in common.

Sweet story with some bitter moments but overall a wonderfully written book.

I really enjoyed this book, the writing was great and so was the storyline.

I loved the connection between Colby & Alec. Although there was a ton of baggage that came with their relationship, I felt they were perfect for each other and balanced each other out.

I can't wait to read Hunter & Sara's story next year!

Colbie is starting fresh in a new career after a rough couple of years in which she lost her best friend and her husband. She has opened up a new restaurant with her father and brother and is feeling like she is on route to getting back some sort of normalcy. Things get a bit complicated when her brother hires a new head chef who just so happens to tie her back up in the emotional turmoil of the whole situation she was attempting to escape. The new chef, Alec, was the brother of her best friend who she grew up next door to and shares a lot of painful history with. Can they make things work? Or is everything bound to fall apart? Along with Colbie we learn the importance of opening up and coping with loss by facing it head on in this touching story about second chances and healing by Jamie Beck.

Before I knew is an emotional story about loss and starting over. It has been two years since Colby Cabot-Baxter watched her husband, Mark commit suicide. She is ready for a new start with opening a new restaurant. Her old friend Alec Morgan is dealing with his own regrets about his part in both his brother's accident and Mark's suicide. He is now getting a second chance at making amends with Colby, his family and his reputation as an award-winning chef.

The story was well written and the characters were well developed. You definitely felt the pain that everybody was going through. I look forward to reading the next book in the series.

I would like to thank NetGalley and Montlake Romance for supplying a copy of Jamie Beck's "Before I Knew" in exchange for an honest review.

What a lot of disagreeable people in this book! Maybe the author's purpose was to present people in all their flaws and good qualities, but I found that almost all were disagreeable to some extent.  Colby lost her best friend Joe in an accident that her husband caused even if inadvertently. When they went to the funeral, Joe's older brother Alec, refused them entrance to prevent further grief to his parents. Two weeks later, Colby's husband Mark committed suicide.

Two years later, Colby is on the verge of inaugurating her new restaurant, A CertainTea, and needs a new chef. Her brother Hunter calls her to a meeting to introduce the new chef. Since Hunter is funding the new restaurant, he had the authority to hire the chef. To Colby's surprise, the new chef is Alec. Alec had enjoyed national acclaim and won the James Beard award for his new restaurant, Une Boucheé, but after Joe's death, he lost his concentration and his creativity, and he lost his reputation and his restaurant. He disappeared for two years and now he's back to repair his losses, working at Colby's restaurant.

A lot of things go wrong here. Colby had let her husband hide his condition, bipolar syndrome, during their marriage. In a manic moment, he had dared Joe to a risky dive and Joe died. Then she was contemplating divorce because she was fed up with dealing with Mark's illness and his refusal to take his meds and follow treatment. Cue guilt for association to Joe's death and Mark's suicide. Alec had received an apology note from Mark, asking for forgiveness, and he never replied. Cue guilt for Mark, thinking he could have prevented Mark's suicide if he had acted on that note.

Alec had a crappy relation with his dad. Mr. Morgan is a retired cop, very macho man, and he shunned Alec's career as a chef. He also taught Joe to make fun of Alec because he wasn't a manly man like them. And I hated that Mrs. Morgan saw all this and didn't take steps to balance the situation in her home. I would take a frying pan to a husband and son that would dare mock another son.

Colby's parents divorced when she was a child, her father remarried and had a second daughter who is now twenty-five years old. Colby's mom is envious about her ex-husband's success in his company, and the many gifts he bestows on his second wife. She's even envious of the money Colby and Hunter receive as dividends from the stock they own in their father's company. She's manipulative, drama-queen, self-involved, and as Hunter's phrases, "a black hole of neediness". She genuinely loves her children but I can't imagine having to deal with such a mother all the time.

The only characters I whole-heartedly liked were Hunter and Sara, Hunter's wife. Hunter is working at their father's corporation, and he is a driven, intense man.  Sara is the perfect wife for him because she makes him take off time for fun and family.  Sara is a great friend of Colby's, very supportive.  As expected, Hunter is not close to their mother.

With this incredible cast of characters, this book is about redemption and forgiveness.  What I didn't like about the book is the constant hiding of secrets, which is what powers the plot of this book.  Also, Colby fell into the same pattern with Alex as she did with Mark.  Instead of facing issues straight on, she managed around the truths, she hid some information, she procrastinated and evaded.  Alec faced stuff straight on, except he hid his guilt and the information about the note.  The book felt like a downrolling disaster train, going towards a total meltdown and implosion of everyone involved in the book.  Even though it had a HEA in the end, I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the characters, except for Colby's dad and brother.  It was a great read, and the author is a fantastic writer.  I just didn't like most of the characters very much and felt that Colby kowtowed to everyone too much.

I really enjoyed this book. I wasn't sure what to expect, it was an uplifting romantic tale about second chances and forgiveness. I liked seeing the point of view of both main characters, and enjoyed the setting of opening a restaurant. I also liked that all of the side characters made sense. I would recommend.

Here I go again, in the minority about a story. Unfortunately, Before I Knew just didn't do it for me. It was so heavy, such a downer that I couldn't find my way through to the end with any kind of joy, any kind of excitement, any kind of anything positive. It's not horribly written or anything, it's just that it's such a dreary, down on themselves kind of story that I could not connect with it or any of the characters.

Colby has lost her husband to suicide. Right before that, they both lost a good friend, whose death Colby's husband had an inadvertent hand in. Two years later, Colby has decided to open up a restaurant called A CertainTea. Her father's investment in the restaurant comes with a caveat: she is to answer to her brother, Hunter. That's not such a bad thing, as she's close to her brother, but what's bad is that her brother insists she hire a family friend, Alec, as the new chef. Alec is the younger brother whose death Colby's husband, Mark, had an inadvertent hand in, and that death lead to a severing of Colby's relationship with Alec and his family, as she never got over the guilt she felt, and no one in Alec's family ever forgave Mark for his part in Joe's death.

But, there could be a silver lining in Colby's new situation - unbeknownst to Colby, Alec always had a crush on her from the time they were kids and Colby became his, Joe's and Hunter's little sidekick. But, Alec was always in his charismatic, athletic brother, Joe's shadow, and he never found the gumption to ever do anything about his feelings back then, so Mark swooped in and grabbed her up. Now that she's single, and Alec and she are working closely together, perhaps this is Alec's chance to do something about those pesky feelings.

Alas, things are not going smoothly. There are too many hurt feelings between the two. Too many feelings of guilt on both their parts. And Colby is a martyr. Ugh, martyrs. I hate it when a character martyrs themselves for someone, especially when the person for whom they're martyring themselves is no longer present. Colby was such a doormat, such a martyr and it drove me nuts. Not to mention she was so prissy and self-absorbed that I wanted to smack her! Not that Alec was any better. He was angry, bitter and lashed out more than once. I get that everyone was hurting, but you have to take responsibility for your own actions, for what you say to others, regardless of whether you are hurting or not. And Alec didn't like taking responsibility for his cruel words until the very end. So we've got a prissy martyr and a bitter, angry hero, not a great combination.

So, sorry, but I cannot get behind Before I Knew. I need more vitality, more passion, more life to my romances and Before I Knew didn't give that to me.

There are so many romance books out there that follow the same path, but every now and then you get one that has something special, that makes it just a little different...and this is one of those stories. This was real, and emotional, and heartfelt. These characters rang true and hit a spot in my heart. The personal struggles these two faced and the journey they took together were honest, and something I could connect with.

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Mary Jo – ☆☆☆☆☆
An emotional and heart wrenching story from the first page to the last. Ms. Beck brought together well-developed characters that told a story in a heartfelt and compelling manner.

The character of Colby is one of a woman trying to find her place in the world after the tragic death of one of her closest childhood friends and her husband's suicide. Her emotional state is fragile at the beginning, but you can see her slowly regain her confidence and strength of purpose. She doesn't always get it right, but even failing is part of learning.

Alec is the brother of her childhood friend and has been secretly in love with Colby since they were teens. He harbors guilt about the accident that took his brother and the circumstances leading up to the death of Colby's husband. His childhood left him emotionally scarred in such a way that he tends to accept blame for wrongs that others laid at his doorstep, warranted or not.

Each character in this book shows the great depth of soul and heart as Colby and Alec try to piece together their lives again.


Avid Reader – ☆☆☆☆☆
4.5 stars
M/F Romance
Triggers: Click HERE to see Avid Reader’s review on Goodreads for trigger warnings.

This is a tragic story with a hopeful outcome. Colby, Joe, Mark, and Alec were all in this together. However, ego, mental health, and hurt feelings come into play and create a mess of a situation for all involved.

Colby is trying to move on with her life under the crushing guilt over the suicide of her husband, Mark. This was just after the tragic and accidental death of her good childhood friend, Joe. There was so much loss in such a short amount of time that it left Colby kind of broken and battered.

Alec lost his brother in that tragic accident, but he also lost the ability to rectify the hurts of the past. Despite the fact that his father and brother were constantly belittling him, Alec knows that it's time to come home and work – his mother misses him and she's suffered enough.

When Colby and Alec find themselves thrust into each other's business, feelings develop and truths are revealed. Colby will stand up for Alec and Alec will need to learn that sometimes, the risk is worth it.

This is filled with emotions, family drama, and redemption on several levels.

I can't wait to see what happens next!


Ruthie – ☆☆☆☆
This is the first book in a new series and sets up a lot of possible stories for future installments – I cannot wait!

Here is revealed the tragic background to the Morgan and Cabot family rift – and the secrets that have been hidden in an attempt to reduce the pain of others. Of course, in doing that there are lies and secrets which will come out and have further devastating impact on the grieving. But there is hope and new beginnings are being sought – Colby has left her legal career behind to open a restaurant, and her brother Hunter sends her their one-time friend, Alec, to be her executive chef.

I loved the side stories of the opening of the restaurant, of the crazy family dynamics, and the larger than life characters that we will no doubt get to see in future books. But, inevitably, I loved Alec and Colby most of all. They are so damaged, yet so keen to help the other. I feel we get far more of an understanding of Alec and his views, until towards the end, when Colby gains her freedom from her shadows and makes the moves to really move her life forward.

Thank you, Ms. Beck.