This story is simply amazing! The reader gets involved in the story right from the beginning and you do not want to put it down. It is about second chances and being honest with others. I will say it again, simply amazing.

I enjoyed this book. Old friendships, secrets.... Always a promising storyline and it delivered. I enjoyed reading and seeing how the relationships developed. Good book.

The Morgans and Cabots live next door to each other. Joe Morgan and Colby Cabot were best friends growing up. When Colby married Mark Baxter, Joe welcomed him with opened arms and the three spent a lot of time together. When Joe died after a dare issued by Mark, it tore the families apart. Mark, dealing with issues of his own, feeling overwhelmed with guilt, commits suicide.

Fast-forward two years. Colby is still reeling from the past. Her marriage wasn’t what it seemed. She’s been practicing law and finding it weighing her down as much as her past. She wants to make a fresh start, so she decides to open a restaurant with help from her family. Her executive chef quits a few weeks before opening and her brother brings in award winning chef Alec Morgan, Joe’s older brother. She and Alec were close growing up, Alec always her protector, but since Joe’s death haven’t spoken.

Alec Morgan has secrets that caused him to lose focus and cost him his restaurant and his reputation. Working at Colby’s restaurant is a chance to redeem himself and help her find her happiness. He has been secretly in love with her since they were kids. He also wants to fix/heal his relationship with his dad, who has never thought his profession manly enough.

The more time these two spend together, the more they are drawn to each other. Their secrets still lie between them. Once they are revealed, will they be able to overcome their pasts to make a future together?

I had trouble with Alec’s character. He was supposed to be this nerdy, quiet, easy going guy yet a yelling, driven, intense, perfectionist kitchen machine. The two just didn’t gel for me.

So. Much. Angst. And regurgitating. Joe’s death, Mark’s death, hiding Mark’s diagnosis, Colby’s mother’s issues with her ex, Hunter’s issues with his step mom, the half sister’s issues, Alec’s dad’s issues with everyone (he was a real jerk for the entire book), etc. It just made the whole book feel so heavy and morose. And while I know this is just the first book of the series, so much was still left unsettled.

I voluntarily reviewed an ARC provided by NetGalley and the publisher

How do you recover from a tragedy? Or a second one a few short weeks later? Colby Cabot-Baxter is still trying to find out that answer. Her childhood friend, Joe, had welcomed her husband Mark with open arms. They became close friends & were together a lot. Mark dared Joe to jump off a cliff & Joe died while doing it. Overcome by grief & his illness, Mark took his own life. Now, 2 years later, Colby is ready to start living again. She's talked her father into backing her in a new restaurant & her brother hires Joe's brother Alec as the chef. Alec has come back to town to reconnect with his parents, mainly his mother. What follows is a long & winding journey of self discovery, grief, recovery, pain & happiness. Alec & Colby discover a chemistry that they try to fight, each for their own reasons. They both have to deal with family drama & reveal secrets before they can deal with the guilt. Ms. Beck has managed to give a realistic, painful portrayal of grief, mental illness & grief. I really enjoyed this emotional story.

Colby Cabot-Baxter has had a trying few years and she is making some personal changes to hopefully turn her life in a new direction and change. She is opening a restaurant and with that she needs a chef and in walks someone from her past and is a part of those trying years and the past will return, but hopefully there is a future.

What a great book! The reader is easily told the events of the past, but the story doesn't sit there long and quickly and easily moves into the future and I loved that. I loved how the author gave us all the details, but it didn't slow down the pace of the story.

I also loved that there were secrets between the two main characters, but the reader actually knows before the characters do and it isn't over done about all the secrets. The way she unfolded the story just worked right.

I know the story was completely contained within this one book, but I wouldn't mind a sequel or another story set with these characters in this town.

The Cabot and the Morgans were friends and neighbours for thirty years until a stupid dare left Joe Morgan dead, shortly afterwards Colby Cabot's husband Mark killed himself over his part in the dare, devastated by his role in the death of his best friend and unable to deal with the guilt. Mark was bi-polar and Colby suffers from the knowledge that she kept his diagnosis from her family, she also worries that his illness may have been a contributing factor to the dare that led to Joe's death.

Two years later Colby has given up her job as a lawyer to open a restaurant called ACertainTea, she has visions of it being a centre for families to come to celebrate special events. The money for the restaurant has come from the family business The Cabot Tea Company and her father has insisted that Colby reports to her brother Hunter.

Alec Morgan has always stood in the shadow of his younger brother Joe, quieter and more studious by nature he was no match for Joe's athleticism and Joe was always his father's favourite. He has also always harboured a secret crush on Colby. Formerly a successful restaurateur, he has had a massive professional disaster, lost his restaurant and has been asked by his old friend Hunter Cabot to assist Colby in her new start-up. Alec too has a secret, Mark wrote him a letter begging for forgiveness and making wild threats which Alec ignored.

So, can two people who have suffered devastating losses which intimately involve their families ever put the past aside?

This book, for me, was killed by all the angst. Angst over Joe's death, over Mark's suicide, over Colby's mother, over Colby's father, over Alec's mother, over Alec's father, over Colby's brother, over Colby's step-sister, over Colby's sister-in-law. You get the picture, we were drowning in angst and Colby felt she had to fix everything, which was a joke because her brother and father, even Alec were so damned patronising I wanted to punch them in the gonads. But then Colby was so damn drippy and saintly that I wanted to throat-punch her too!

Stepping aside from my own personal feelings about the characters, I also felt that Alec's characterisation didn't really 'work'. He was a former geek, the full "jigsaw puzzle making, then take a photo and hang it on your wall" Monty who grew into a demanding chef who shouted at people. He had loved Colby all his life and talked about doing anything she wanted, just to get her to notice him, but then he refused to change HIS menu for HER restaurant to accommodate her very reasonable request that there be some simple food for the unadventurous eaters.

Someone (an author whose book I criticised) once told me that if the characters make you feel something (even incandescent rage) then the author has achieved their goal - well done Jamie Beck, back of the net goal! But seriously, I'm not a fan of all the introspective, navel-gazing, talk about our feelings (but of course don't actually tell people what's wrong) angst. If you like that sort of thing then this is for you.

Colby and Alec were family friends years ago until tragedy tore them apart. Alec blames Colby's dead husband for the death of his brother. Colby and Alec both have to move past the sorrows of their lost loved ones and claim a new future. I really enjoyed this book and am looking forward to others in this series. Thank you to NetGalley and Montlake Romance for an ARC in return for an honest review.

I found the book quite slow and I'd kind of already guessed the way the story was going to go quite early on. A nice easy, but nothing spectacular.

What a fantastic first book in a brand new series. It's highly emotional and deals with issues that arise a horrible tragedy strikes. Colby Cabot Baxter and Alec Morgan's lives were both changed by the tragedy but now they are both looking for fresh starts. Their journey to happiness is painful and emotional and the past needs to be dealt with. It can't be until all the secrets are revealed. Will they be brave enough to face the past in order to have a future??

Definitely a book I recommend to everyone.

This is book one of the Cabot series but it completely stands alone and *does not* end on a cliffhanger. There is cursing (including f-bombs) and sex in this story, though the sex is not the focal point nor is it as graphic as most books on the market these days. It is a plot device but it is not the entire plot, which is kind of refreshing. (Slight spoiler but important info) This book deals with the topics of mental health issues, described suicide (and it's gory aftermath), survivor's guilt, and profound loss. While the topics are treated with tremendous respect, they might be triggering to some readers.

This story definitely leans more toward the women's fiction side of the romance genre than Ms. Beck's Sterling Canyon series. It is a meatier book and deals with more serious topics, but Jamie Beck has the writing talent to write a book about those serious, heart-breaking things and make it an intriguing read without making it too heavy. Although I strongly disliked Chef Alec – his vocal food snobbery and 'motivation' by demeaning and insulting his staff was a total turn off for me – I very much liked who Alec was when he was with Colby and not in the kitchen (or around his father). Colby was a mess, but I thought that her attempts to move on and make progress in her life were intriguing. I couldn't put this book down because I needed to know that she really was going to be okay – with or without Alec in her life. After getting to know them as side characters, I very much look forward to reading about Hunter and Sara, and also Gentry.

I requested and was generously granted an ARC of this story via NetGalley and the publisher. I was under no obligation to write this review. I did so because I enjoyed the story.

This was a fun read. I would read more by this author.

Before I Knew (The Cabots, book 1) by Jamie Beck

August 2017

I received this digital ARC from Montlake Romance via NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

Colby Cabot-Baxter has endured more than her share of emotional duress over the years but nothing compares to what she experienced the 2 years before she decided to open a CertainTea. She grew up in Lake Sandy, Oregon with her brother, Hunter and neighbors, Joe and Alec Morgan. They grew up together and eventually went their own ways.

Colby married Mark Baxter a gregarious man who refused to treat his bipolar disorder. Keeping the secret of Mark's health and impulsive behavior took its toll on Colby over the years. It was two years ago that changed their lives forever. One day Mark dared Joe to jump off a cliff above Punch Bowl Falls in Columbia River Gorge. Just weeks after the fatal dare, the consequential guilt prompted mentally unstable Mark to jump off the ninth floor balcony while Colby watched him plummet to his death.

The trauma from both deaths ripped the two families apart with the resentment, guilt and blame that escalated afterward. Trying to move on from the past eventually forces the two families to confront the pain from the past. When Hunter hires Alec to be the chef at Colby's A CertainTea it was anyone's guess how this would work out. Will Colby and Alec be able to work with each other everyday?

How do their families move on after such tremendous loss? Can they relinquish the anger and grief which has weighed them down for years?

I enjoyed this novel for its unique storyline whose characters are flawed in ways that are relatable. Mental illness is often unspoken or acknowledged which can have devastating consequences especially if not treated. The issues are delicately weaved throughout the story which gives it authenticity.

Before I Knew, The Cabots Book 1, Jamie Beck

Review from Jeannie Zelos book reviews

Genre: General Fiction (adult), Romance

I really liked the sound of this book, and dived in eagerly. I found that though the writing was excellent the story and characters just didn't keep me captivated, that I kept flicking into other stories putting this aside to finish later.
I did read it all, did enjoy it but its not a magic five re-reader for me. 

I liked both Colby and Alec and they worked well together. I felt for both of them for what grief they had suffered, and there's no time line on grieving - its different for everyone. For both of them their grief was compounded by guilt, by the secrets they both held.
Those secrets always creep out at the worst time don't they? 

I did get irritated about Colby when she still won't talk about Mark's issues, still keeps that secret, and yet if she confided in her family, in Alec they would probably understand more her feelings. Instead she kind of martyrs herself over it.
Alec too got me cross at his drama over the food awards. I know they mean a lot to chefs, everyone wants something to aim for in their career. Though I understood how that combined with Joe's death led him to lose his restaurant, I felt this time round he was very melodramatic about it, too ready to drop everything and everyone in search of that magic praise.
And I guess that bring in my personal bias, critics, whether food, art, theatre or what, who make a career out of judging, often unfairly, and destroying others careers with harsh words just to build their own. Gah! I know they need to be honest, but not deliberately hurtful and negative. The pressure that places on guys like Alec can destroy them and all those around them, and that's -IMO- just wrong. 

So its a pleasant story, a decent romance with lost going on but it didn't really resonate with me, I didn't really get to feel Alec and Colby and others were genuine, real people not story characters and that's why this is a three star good read, not more. 
 
Stars: Three, good simple romance but not a re-reader for me. 

ARC supplied for review purposes by Netgalley and Publishers

I really liked this first book in this new series by Jamie Beck. It's sort of a second chance romance, even though Colby and Alec were never actually a couple. They have known each other forever and their lives have been intertwined through family, friendship and tragedy.
They have a lot of history and secrets working against them, but will these two be able to grab hold of what they find with each other and effectively let go of the past?? The real life issues infused into this story to make it so compelling are key to our main characters back stories, their reactions to their present lives and even secondary characters reactions. The Issues are some that face so many people every day; mental illness, abuse, and grief. It was such a wonderfully written story and I look forward to more from the Cabot family.

Thank you to Netgalley for the early read!

This one of those emotional, heartbreaking books that wrecks you so profoundly that you can't wait until the happily ever after. Complex, thought provoking, and painfully honest are few of the phrases I'd use for this book. This touched me deeply and I'm looking forward to more books from jamie beck! Great job!

Fun read! I really liked the character of Alec, such an appealing male protagonist.. he was clearly my favorite.. restaurant setting was a fun one and the challenges of chef vs. manager added to the romance. Recommend!!

I have enjoyed every one of Jamie Beck's books, but I think that Before I Knew is one of my favorites. The story is unlike any I've read, and there is great depth here. The main characters have already gone through so much as this book begins. Alec and Colby grew up together, and are both dealing with grief. Colby has lost her husband and one of her best friends; Alec has lost his brother. There are secrets, mistrust, family disagreements and a broken friendship that must be repaired, as they have to figure out a way to work together so that both of their dreams can be realized. There is loneliness, but there is hope. This book makes you think. It's funny and moving and sexy and heartfelt. I hope we see more of the Cabots in the future.

Jamie Beck has a style of writing that always draws you in to the dynamics of a family making you their own personal cheerleader. Before I Knew lays the foundation of the Cabot series which will provide lots love, heartbreak, drama, and hopefully healing.

Two years after the tragic loss of Joe Morgan and Mark Baxter, the gaping whole remains in both the Morgan and Cabot families. Secrets held by both Mark's wife, Colby Cabot-Baxter and Joe's brother, Alec Morgan, are bound to come to light after Alec becomes the Executive Chef in Colby's new restaurant.

Colby and Alec soon discover their working relationship might be clouded by the attraction simmering between them. But work relationships are not all that create trouble with Alec's family still buried in grief and blame towards Colby.

Before I Knew addresses the negative stigma people feel about mental illness and abuse topics and how that negativity leads to secrets and devastation. Would these characters lives have been different if there weren't secrets kept, well who knows it's a book. But if one person reading this story realizes how those secrets can do more harm than good well that's just excellent.

On a lighter note, I loved the book and the teasing of other books to follow for Gentry and Hunter.

Why would Joe listen to this doofus? And what did Alec do?

His dad doesn't really seem like a prize.

Geez, her mom sounds a bit bipolar herself. Does she even work?

Telling someone wouldn't have made a difference, Alec. Someone should really tell this family that Mark was bipolar.

In her defense, Alec was being a bit mean. Right, but mean.

I don't know if he should be working in someone else's restaurant just to stick it to his father.

Melissa is the kind of person that gives reporters a bad name.

I really like Richard.

Oh, good idea. They should raise money for bipolar people.

God, he's romantic.

People really need to start giving poor Gentry a break. They don't expect her to do much, so she doesn't. It's a vicious cycle.

Did you miss the part about them being friends since childhood, Hunter? Not everything is about business.

Thank God his mother finally wised up. Better late than never.

So now you can control time, Colby? How is it your fault that a critic came on the same night that Alex's dad decided to get physically abusive?

Thank God Hunter is the one person in this family with all his marbles. Alec and Colby are both idiotic.