I didn't finish this book. As the parent of a disabled child I found it a difficult read but that was at no fault of the book or the author.

In her memoir "Mikey and Me," Teresa Sullivan offers insight into the experience of growing up with a severely disabled sibling. Mikey, Sullivan's older sister, was blind from birth, autistic, and developmentally impaired. Encouraged by 1960s medical personnel to institutionalize their daughter, Mikey's parents chose instead to raise her at home. As a result, Sullivan often found herself in the role of caretaker and protector to an older sibling.

With care and sensitivity, Sullivan describes the challenges her family faced in meeting Mikey's needs during an era in which there was little understanding or support for disabled children living at home. Sullivan's parents, under strain for many reasons, eventually decided upon in-patient care for their daughter. Then, as now, it was difficult to find appropriate placement, and several of the memoir's most horrific scenes deal with Mikey's mistreatment. A teenager herself, Sullivan felt helpless to improve her sister's situation and overwhelmed by her parents' problems. This led her into destructive behavior, and her own story of drug abuse and personal redemption forms the second half of the book.

I hadn't read a memoir in quite awhile, which is why I requested this. As far as memoirs go, it wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't terrible. The story kept me interested, but in the end it wasn't much more than just a story that told the facts of the authors childhood.

Thank You to She Writes Press for providing me with an advance copy of Teresa Sullivan's memoir, Mikey and Me: Life with my Exceptional Sister, in exchange for an honest review.

PLOT - In her memoir, Mikey and Me: Life with my Exceptional Sister, Teresa Sullivan recounts growing up with her older sister, Micky, who is blind, non-verbal, and has brain damage. Although her entire family loves Mikey immensely and they do everything possible to make Mikey's life better, caring for Mikey takes a toll on everyone. Sullivan's memoir explores the impact of Mikey and how having a special needs sibling shaped her life.

LIKE - I couldn't put Sullivan's memoir down and I read it in one sitting. The specifics of Sullivan's story and her willingness to share her life in a raw, honest manner, made her memoir a page-turner. I just kept reading, because I had to know if Mikey and the rest of her family were going to be okay. It's an intense and uncertain read.

Although they try their best to keep Mikey at home, an incident occurs where the courts get involved and Mikey is placed into a facility against her families wishes. They visit her at every opportunity, including visits where she is allowed to come home for the weekend, but Mikey's placement in a facility forever changes Sullivan's family. A piece is missing without Mikey and they all feel guilt in their inability to protect her, especially when they discover that she is being abused in the system. Sullivan turns to drugs and wild behavior in her teen years, her mother gambles and has an affair, and her father turns to alcohol. The entire family dynamic breaks down. It's heartbreaking, especially the horrific abuse Mikey suffers.

Mikey and Me made me feel shattered. I finished it last week and couldn't manage to write the review until today, because I'm still deeply affected and upset by what I read.

DISLIKE- Nothing. The subject matter is tough to read, but Sullivan has written a beautiful tribute to her sister. There is so much love that she has for Mikey.

RECOMMEND- Yes. Mikey and Me is a devastating memoir, but also an important one. Although, as a society we have come a long way in understanding and integrating people with special needs ( especially during the 60's/70's where a bulk of Sullivan's memoir takes place), there is much more than should be done. Sullivan shares not only her experiences with her sister, but she speaks for other families with loved ones who have special needs. She speaks to a need for not only showing compassion and protecting, but to also inclusion for vulnerable members of our society. She also speaks for siblings, who often transition into a caregiving role as their parent's age and pass away. This is an important memoir.

A deeply moving memoir of a developmentally delayed and blind girl whose tragic yet amazing story is told through the eyes of her sister.

Michele (Mikey) was born blind and later, the family would discover she also was developmentally delayed. Mikey was born in an era where society had very little resources to help children like her. Most children were institutionalized immediately. Since Mikey was thought to be only blind at first, they lived a fairly typical suburban life in Southern California.

It's only after Mikey became violent and the family had no other option but to institutionalize her when she reached the tween years. Life was never the same for the family. Mikey, as unstable as her behavior was seemed to have kept the family whole.

The story has many ups and downs and is beautifully told through the author's eyes.

A beautifully written memoir about the author and her sister who has special needs. This is a powerful book. The way the disabled are/ were treated and just their life in general. It also gives you a look at being the sibling of one with special needs. In reading this book, I see how far we have come with diagnosis, etc. To the author, I thank you for allowing us to walk your journey, Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.

I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for a honest review. This book was so well written. I had a hard time putting it fown!

Mikey was born prematurely in a time when NICU’s simply didn’t have the knowledge and advancements they have today. Who knows if things would have been different for her if she’d been born a few decades later. Maybe her sight could have been saved, her brain damage avoided. Maybe things would be no different at all. Maybe she would have gotten an autism diagnosis and the critical help that goes along with it, improving her quality of life and those who cared for her. Most likely she would not have found herself forcibly institutionalized by the state, torn from her family and the only home she’d ever known, poorly placed, misunderstood, and repeatedly abused. And though, under any circumstances, her family would have been affected by her plight (it seems unlikely she’d escape the circumstances of her birth unscathed), if she’d been born today, or even a decade ago, their experience could have been vastly different as well. This is what I kept thinking as I was reading this book. How much difference a few decades makes when it comes to medical advancements. But Mikey’s circumstances are only part of this book, the meat of it is really about the impact on Mikey’s family, her sister (the author) specifically, and that is the primary reason I was interested in the book.

As the mother of two children with autism, I feel especially connected to these types of stories. I read about Mikey, and I think of my children, of my one child who is more profoundly affected (though nowhere near as affected as Mikey), and how lucky we are to live now instead of then. I read about Terry, and I think of my other children, and all the ways in which their childhood is different because of their siblings with special needs. And Mikey and Teresa’s parents, particularly her mother…I don’t know that I could have held it together the way she did, forged forward, found outlets to work through it all. It’s amazing what people are capable of. But I digress…

In the autism world, we are fortunate enough to live in a time where, despite lots of unanswered questions, things are being done – more and more studies, more and more discoveries, different types of therapies, well-educated pediatricians, more community support, and you could spend years reading books about how to deal with autism, how to live with it, how to help your child with autism, etc. And the number of firsthand accounts of living with autism are growing as children with autism flourish into adults living with autism. All of those books are helpful and insightful and needed. But I still don’t feel there is enough focus on the siblings of special needs children.

There are stories in magazines and newspapers and online zines, etc., but it is a very different thing to view a life through the lens of the person who lived it. That’s the kind of narrative that breeds understanding and empathy and hope. This book doesn’t offer is a list of things to do necessarily (though the author provides lots of resources for helping siblings at the end!), but you get a sense of what it must be like to be the sibling of someone who has exceptional needs, how it affects their outlook on life, their experience of the world, their view of themselves and their own value. Those are invaluable insights.

And Ms. Sullivan’s voice is so authentic and honest. She berates and blames no one. There is no sense of anguish or anger, no hostility or resentment, and only a healthy dose of regret, absent of any real guilt (healthy!). It’s a simple, but deep reflection on the past, how her childhood happened, what she didn’t come to realize until later. She was troubled herself, maybe would have been regardless of Mikey, and eventually found her way out, to a life that is rewarding and content, ultimately choosing a career that she might not have found herself in were it not for her sister.

While it’s clear that the path of her life was steered, in many ways, by the presence of her sister in her life, it is also abundantly clear that she is happy with where she is and owns her part in her past struggles. And in writing this memoir, she shines a lot on some of the missed opportunities, the things which her parents could have done differently that might have helped her through a challenging childhood.

I’d love to see more books like this.

This is an excellent memoir written by a sibling who endured a dysfunctional family environment and issues with a severely handicapped older sibling.

When Mikey was young the family devoted all their time tending to her. This family is so close and want the very best for Mikey, but as Mikey gets older she starts getting violent and the option of keeping her home seems impossible. Sadly at the tender age of 12 she is institutionalized. Now that the family wasn’t collectively caring for Mikey they begin to unravel.
This memoir was written so good and raw; it is full of insight of what a family dealing with special needs children. I was completely pissed at the why some people reacted to special needs children back them.
Mikey & Me is Teresa’s amazing tribute to her older sister Mikey, who was developmentally disabled. I applaud Teresa for writing this personal book.

--I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are purely my own and not influenced in any way.--
I REALLY wish we had half stars on here, because this is a solid 3.5 for me. This book delves into the life of a neurotypical girl and how her life was influenced by her autistic sister. It was incredibly clear that throughout everything, Teresa loved Mikey and legitimately did want what was best for her. That's not to say there weren't all kinds of grief and annoyance and even possibly resentment at some point, but the sisterly bonds were there and they ran deep, and I loved reading about it. This book also surprisingly gets into the hippie and drug addiction lifestyle, which was a bit out of left field and had very little directly to do with Mikey, but there's not really a way to get out of talking about it since it is Teresa's life. Not really something I'm interested in reading about, but it was written really well. Overall, not bad, but I'm not a huge fan of reading about drugs and hippie subculture (just doesn't interest me much), but if you are, you'll probably love it!

Mikey and Me

Life with My Exceptional Sister



by Teresa Sullivan

She Writes Press

Biographies & Memoirs , Parenting & Families

Pub Date 29 Aug 2017

I am reviewing a copy of Mikey and Me through She Writes Press and Netgalley:

Mikey was Teresa's older sister, but even at eight she was like a two year old. Unable to speak, brain-damaged and blind.

Michelle Colleen Sullivan, Mickey was born on February.02.1953, weighing only 2.3 pounds, a fragile baby into a fragile marriage. Back in those days when babies fought to live they were rarely touched, even nurses only touched her when it was necessary. Eleven months later Teresa was born.

At two Mikey underwent surgery for Glacoma, and for the first two and a half years she developed early and typically, but at two and a half, she spoke, even using big words like rambunctious, and would tell her Mother when her sister was crying, but then everything changed. One minute she'd be mimicking nursery rhymes and the next she started screaming and clutching her feet. She stopped speaking and became withdrawn.

Doctors encouraged their parents to instutionalize Mikey, but their Mother resisted. When Mikey was ten, with their parents marriage strained she was taken Pacific State Hospital. But after only three days of seeing how she was treated she came home.

By the time she was eleven Mickey had more bad days than good. And it became obvious they could no longer handle her care. Mickey was taken to Carmello state hospital,

As Teresa grew older she got into her share of trouble, ditching classes, dropping acid. In 1972 Teresa was in a motorcycle accident. She suffered a skull fracture, and a broken leg.

By the time Mikey was Forty, budget cuts meant that instead having a place for the blind and mentally retarded, Mikey was placed in a group for those who had severe handicaps, like those in wheelchairs.

On October.11.1997, Mikey dies.

In those powerful memoir a tribute to her sister, Teresa Sullivan takes us on a journey through the joys, and sorrows, the loss and the pain of having a severely handicap sister.

I give Mickey and Me five out of five stars.

Happy Reading!

What a powerful book oh the things the author had seen happen to her sister and her own life. This book really shows the tragedy of child institutions which were so common in the 50's and 60's. And even how it affects the families and not just the patient. I highly recommend this book.

Mikey and me is a tender, sensitive, and troubling memoir of a woman who had a mentally disabled older sibling. The story reveals the family's coping mechanisms and its fractures. The author discusses her rebellious years, her struggles with addiction, and finally discovering the road to recovery. It's a touching story that all readers can relate on some level.

I enjoyed this memoir! It was at times hard to read because the effects of Theresa's childhood with Mikey were long lasting and I can't say that I could have done a better job than her parents did. The saddest part was while in treatment she wrote down the secret she had never told anyone and it wasn't awful but she was just so ashamed. Will recommend!

This was a well- written account of living with a sibling with disabilities. It was eye opening to see the treatment of individuals inthe past. The ignorances of people and the many challenges faced.

At times funny, loving, heartbreaking.... Mikey and Me by Teresa Sullivan was an absolutely amazing piece of life written down for us to love and learn from. For absolutely everyone to read, parents, siblings, school communities. Thank you to the author for putting such a well done tribute to her sister on "paper" for us to read,

“As I look back, I realize that I never saw other children like Mikey in public places. Many were in institutions, and perhaps the families who kept them chose not to venture into the outside world.”

Times were different when Teresa was growing up. Inclusion was nothing like it is today, and let’s face it, it could be better now too. This is an intimately painful revelation into what it was like growing up with an exceptional sister, one with severe disabilities. The family was admirable in their efforts to keep their beloved daughter Mikey in the family home as long as they could, but it wasn’t without hardship on each family member. The hardest parts of the book to read involved the abuses that happened to Mikey while she was institutionalized, despite her family’s fight- the reality is the person who can’t speak for what occurs suffers the most and is blamed for the disturbing sickness inside others. We don’t often speak of the difficulty on siblings, because in a sense, Teresa and other children like her are born into care-taking. It’s a grown up responsibility that many adults shirk. The struggle of loving your sibling and resenting them is incredibly heartbreaking. Teresa didn’t have the attention so many children need, and as much as she understood why on a mature level, it absolutely had damaging effects. It’s no one’s fault, the parents certainly tried their hardest, but caring for someone such as Mikey is a never ending job, it requires the family to be constantly on alert, more than two steps ahead. You cannot doubt their love, but it was obviously mentally and physically exhausting. I cannot imagine how much harder in times with less compassion. Back then, it was still somewhat hidden, treated like a shameful issue, families treated to freak show mentality.

How can the reader not be touched by Mikey? What sort of life is it, unable to truly communicate your needs, suffering? Trying to navigate a world you can’t understand, abused by other patients, and lashing out against those who love you for reasons you truly cannot help. The marriage between Teresa’s parents was beyond strain, the demands of their life didn’t leave time for romance, intimacy any relationship beyond worrying and caring for their daughter. A poignant moment was the fantasy young Teresa had, watching the Helen Keller movie, the hope that maybe she could just teach her in the same way, breach the communication barrier and then the plummeting depression of reality, too much to bear. It’s no wonder that later in life Teresa plummeted herself. Drugs as escape, running away from the calm of home, where no one seemed much invested. A best friend like a sister she wished Mikey could have been later souring, bringing out the worst in her and later- an injury that terrifies her, that brings her own brain closer to Mikey’s. The terror of losing her own function! This isn’t pretty friends but it is unflinchingly raw!

I think of the courage it takes for such a family, and the horrific reality of how it feels to have to give your child over, a parent’s true nightmare. Mikey kept them bonded and the calm is almost louder than the noise when she is no longer home. How do people keep faith? Where do you find hope when doctors have nothing to offer, when you know more about your child/siblings needs than any facility? For some people, the happy ending never comes, there aren’t any trail blazing medical breakthroughs that save them. This was the truth for Mikey and Teresa. Take heart, Teresa did glimpse happiness in her sister, be it the spinning, or moments of laughter. Never doubt Mikey’s family loved her, but this is a real look into what the family went through, Mikey included, back when no one bothered to understand only stared and judged. You didn’t have the internet to connect easily with other families like yours, nor support. Society just put them away, out of sight, out of mind but this is a family that handled what they were given in life with much grace. Such a sad story.

Publication Date: August 29, 2017

She Writes Press

Thank You Net Galley for the Free Advanced reading copy in return for an honest review. .

I think the title of this book is misleading into what kind of memoir you are getting. There was relatively little about Mikey - we meet her already in a state facility, It was more about the author's struggle with drug addiction and a brain injury.

Just ok for me.

This is a really tragic but ultimately heart warming story about Theresa Sullivan's life with her severely developmentally disabled sister. While it is light on scientific and psychological fact, it is a really interesting study of how difficult it is to be the 'normal' child, the one that needs less attention and therefore, sometimes pushed to the edge.

Theresa's story is fascinating and even beyond her life with Mikey, she has a brilliant tale to tell.