This started out so goooooood...and then it hit a wall.

I'm hardcore into sad books. It's a bit morbid, but I really enjoy those stories in which someone completely broken is able to overcome and triumph over their grief. Not that they've forgotten the lost person, but that they found a way to deal and LIVE. And that's what I was hoping for here. It starts out perfectly, but somewhere along the way, I don't know...it took a detour and just never got back on track.



Tess was an odd character. She was absolutely distraught over the suicide of her boyfriend, Jonah. Or, kind of boyfriend I guess. Their relationship was strange to me. Based on one night of in-person interaction and months of internet chatting, I just struggled to FEEL it. It's harder for me to connect when we never really got to know him. So as sad as his loss should have felt, I never got to that point. There are scenes in the book that tried to pull it off, but again, as the reader, I am getting more of others' views and not enough 'firsthand.' And watching Tess struggle should have made me feel something. I enjoyed her in the beginning. Leaving school, remembering things about Jonah, etc. But then, the truth comes out and the entire story is flipped upside down.

Enter Daniel. Jonah's roommate. As they begin to talk and truths are uncovered, I began to lose interest.

This is combined with her weird relationship with her parents (divorced). It just didn't gel. Girl is basically on her own, and when she runs away (and TO her father), it's almost treated like no big deal. He just tells her she's to work with him in his bizarre business...okaaaayyyyyyy. Like, what? GET HER BACK IN SCHOOL. OR THERAPY. SOMETHING.

Anyhow, Tess and Daniel bond over their shared love for and loss of Jonah. Things get a bit unrealistic here, in my opinion. I won't spoil it, but yeah, I just wasn't buying it. I don't know if I wanted more of the grieving process and reliving of her relationship with Jonah, or what exactly. But something is just off. The introduction of Daniel should probably feel organic and initially it's a "holy crap" moment. And I get their bond to some extent, however, I think I'd have stayed angry for far longer than Tess did.

To sum up, this book is readable, but not something I'd be able to read over and over. I didn't connect with any characters and felt like the plot lost steam about 25% in. By that point I was just reading to see where the author was taking it—and if he'd whip out a HEA. Decent story, but there are better options for these important topics.

Tess Fowler just lost her boyfriend. Her online boyfriend. They've met a few months back in a house party and stayed in touch and had plans to be together IRL. However, after a week without hearing from Jonah she finds out through his Facebook page he's committed suicide.

In shock, Tess drops out of high school to live with her dad - who's now running a funeral business after many unsuccessful attempts. Not long after she receives a message. From Jonah's profile.

First things first: the writing is beautiful and catchy. It was a bit faster than I expected - sometimes the story advanced a lot in a few paragraphs, however it didn't feel rushed, only a different pace than I expected.

I really enjoyed how the author tried to show all the stages of grief and how many different ways we can deal with death. To some, it's natural and should be seen as such with grace (hence the character's name, I assume), others just can't handle it. As someone who has a lot of issues talking about death, I felt acknowledged and comfortable enough to keep reading.

At first, how Daniel comes into the story seemed too weird and unrealistic - his connection with Jonah/Tess is still a bit odd to me, but maybe it's just my lack of awareness of how many ways you can love someone. I feel that Things I'm Seeing Without You is about death, of course, but about love: how do you love someone after they're gone? Should you stop or is there a way to keep that love true?

I really, really liked Tess. She's sarcastic and unapologetic as I would expect - I particularly enjoyed seeing her being "overly" sarcastic in some situations because that's her comfort zone and trying to sound "funny" was a mechanism of trying to go back to that. Despite of how he entered the story, I feel more connected to Daniel than Jonah. Even though he (Jonah) is a major part of it all, most of what we see is other people's opinions on him.

As someone dealing with depression and other mental health issues, I did have some concerns about a comment or another that I'll probably go back and forth if I'm okay with it or not, but I see why they were there and why the author chose to portrait all of it to create a bigger picture.

What kept me from giving it a higher rating: the last 30% of the novel seemed a bit rushed - now it wasn't just the writing. The events happened so fast I found myself going back to check if I was caught in it all. Even though explained within the story, it was a tad unrealistic.

Yes, I would recommend it to whoever enjoys sick-lits, a good writing style, and a new perceptive on death and mourning. :)