Optical Delusions, is the latest in Hunter Shea's Mail Order Massacre line. Although it starts out a little slow, it fully delivers the horror that you have come to expect from Mr. Shea. What could possibly go wrong with cheap X-ray vision sunglasses that actually work? I quite enjoyed this short bit of terror and can't wait for the next one.

I received a copy of this from Kensington Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Optical Delusion by Hunter Shea
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Do you remember those bare-bones hokey horror shows from the seventies and the eighties, the ones that played upon fifties values and aimed at the lowest common denominator by giving us a MC that IS the lowest common denominator?

How about some really cheap made-for-tv horror episodes that were amusing more for the schlock value than the shock value? Do you miss those?

I admit I do, to my everlasting shame. But I don't feel that guilty. Not really. It's comfort food and Shea is great at giving us exactly what we want. No nutritional value at all. :)

In this case, we have a slothful drunk dad that goes on a journey with his new x-ray glasses that really function as advertised, only they're cursed and he can't get them off. Of course, the old complaint about x-ray glasses also comes true when it starts working a little too well. The simple concept even has the horror-moral built in, and I didn't care what happened to the guy so...

Enjoy! Nothing in here except popcorn wish-fulfillment as long as you're a 12-year-old boy inside a sad grown man who just wants to see titties.... gone wrong. :) Amusing for what it is. Please don't expect anything more, though, unless you're expecting a bit of a nice gross-out, because that's here, too. :) In this respect, it's quite a bit better than the made-for-tv horror shows. :) Very modern sensibilities there, at least. :)

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC!

This was my second story by Hunter Shae but, sadly, I didn't connect with it at all.

The story is about a guy who can only be described as disgusting. He works in a factory, needs several beer to be able to get through just a few hours of the day, sits in front of the TV like the personification of the prejudice, fantasizing about actresses while not exactly treating his wife nicely. Then, one day, the friend of his son comes over to play, bringing with him some x-ray specs. I can't even remember why the protagonist put them on, but he did and started wearing them more and more often. The problem? They worked. So what do you expect a perv like that to do when he can suddenly see people in their underwear or even naked? Exactly.

Even considering that this takes place in 1978, I just cannot understand how the protagonist immediately reached the conclusion about the souls/evil. Sure, there might have been a hint, but come on. Way too far-fetched (just like his reaction when he started seeing skeletons). Many of his other choices were not feeling exactly natural either. Not to mention that despite this being fantasy/horror, I do need a bit of realism and how the glasses worked (on what and when not), didn't make any sense at all.

Add to that the fact that I so did NOT like the protagonist at all. No connection whatsoever, I was just disgusted with this guy's life choices and wanted him to die already so getting through the story was a bit of a chore and I wasn't creeped out one bit.

I'm not gonna stop reading stories by this author, but this one, unfortunately, was a bust for me.

Martin Blackstone tries out his son's cheap comic book x-ray specs for a laugh. He doesn't believe they can possibly work, but to his utter astonishment he can see right through his friends' and neighbours' clothing. He soon becomes addicted and can't leave the darn things alone; but the more he wears them, the greater his pain and discomfort, until one day he discovers he can't physically remove them. It's as though they're welded to his face. The specs increase in sensitivity and Martin begins to see things that no one should ever have to witness.

This novella is part of author Hunter Shea's 'Mail Order Massacre' series. It was a fantastic little story and hugely original. Although very short, it's well worth seeking out. I wouldn't say it's massively scary but it's extremely well written and I personally loved it.

The description provided was a little bit off. Martin didn't punish his son for ordering glasses, it actually wasn't even his son who ordered them.

Martin came home from his factory job just wanting to knock back a few beers, (never a full six pack on a week night or else it made the weekends less special) and watch Charlie's Angels. He's annoyed that his son Brian and his best friend Noel are making so much racket upstairs. When Martin goes up to tell Noel he's going to walk him home, Noel shows him the x-ray glasses. He's ordered a pair for himself and a pair for Brian from an ad in a comic book. He tries them on even though Brian tells him all they do is give you a headache, and at first that seems to be true, but the more Martin wears them the more he sees. He soon becomes addicted to ogling women through their clothing, but eventually he begins to see something more sinister. By the time he decides to stop wearing them, it's already too late.
This was a quick, fun read, reminiscent of the stories you would find in the horror comics back in the day. A crazy silly good time.

First off, I know I'm not supposed to take this series seriously. I know it's supposed to be mindless fun. For fuck's sake, that's what made me want to read it. The first book, Just Add Water, was a big bucket of gory fun. Had a blast and gave it four stars based on fun factor alone. This one is nowhere near as good, but not entirely terrible either.

Secondly, with the fact that this is supposed to be mindless fun in mind, I still can't help but point out some inconsistencies that took me out of the story. The main character, Blackstone, is a douchebag. He likes undressing women with his eyes and thinks unkindly of anyone who isn't a big-breasted female. You know, your typical night-club attendee. He's a shithead throughout the entire book. But, suddenly, toward the end, he finds some heart and rushes to save some kid. It's completely out of character. Not to mention that, after finding the kid, he goes on to do some horrible shit. Trying not to spoil this, but the messages were mixed as fuck. Like, am I supposed to be rooting for this fuckwit? Honestly, I just wanted to see him die a horrible fucking death.

Thirdly, this guy, at some point, sees through everything. I don't think that's a spoiler. When reading a horror novel about x-ray glasses, you expect that to be the escalation, right? Anyway, so he sees through every-fucking-thing, but when he looks in the mirror (twice) for some odd reason he sees an x-ray image of himself instead of just seeing through the mirror. Minor inconsistencies, sure, but they were enough to remind me I was reading a book and fuck with my escapism.

Fourthly, the formatting in this book is god-fucked broken. You got the title in the middle of paragraphs (I've seen a lot of shit, but that's a new one for me) and sometimes the author's name is inserted in the text. There are zero indents, so the book reads like one long paragraph in places, and in some areas, sentences stop mid-sentence and start again a few spaces down. Here, have some images:

19437352_1417343118357980_3050922742892371540_n

and...

19511440_1417348535024105_6209685781749526636_n

If you read that clusterfuck up there, you'll also see a character named Holes. Several times that name fucked with me. Like in the sentence shown, "Holes burst from the bar." Because the sentence begins with "Holes", you don't notice that it's the character name. Several times this happens, and I was constantly having to go back over the paragraph wondering what the fuck he was on about.

But I think the biggest problem I had with this book is, it's just not any fun to read. It's a slog until the 64% mark, and then it ends at 88%. Fucking really?

In summation: Not much to see here. The book did swing in a different direction than I initially expected, but that's not necessarily a good thing, seeing as how poorly the change of direction was set up. The last ten percent of the book, which is about ten pages in a novella of this length, is a rush to the finish line, and then you get 12 pages of promotional materials for a book I've already read, which simply left a bad taste in my mouth. Read it for yourself and see if you have a better time. A very low two stars.

Final Judgment: Disappointing.

Optical Delusion, the second in Hunter Shea's trilogy of Mail Order Massacre novellas from Kensington Press, is a more serious affair than Just Add Water and focused more on the psychological threat posed by X-Ray glasses. That's not to say Shea skimps on the gore, though! There's plenty of fun Harryhausen-like visuals on display as Martin Blackstone gets an eyeful of everyone he sees.

On a lark, Blackstone tries on his son's X-Ray specs, ordered from the back of a comic book, and finds, much to his surprise and eventual chagrin, that they actually work. At least for him. Brian and his buddy have already declared them a failure and waste of money, but after Martin's wife tells him he looks pretty cool in his new sunglasses, well...maybe they shouldn't be relegated to the trash heap quite so soon. The more he wears them, though, the harder it becomes to take them off, and pretty soon Martin is seeing far more than he wanted. What starts off as some peeping tom perviness quickly turns toward the grotesque. Beauty may be only skin-deep, but the darkness of the soul...well, that runs much, much deeper, and it's a foul thing indeed.

Whereas Just Add Water was a fun creature feature romp, Optical Delusion takes a decidedly more serious approach with its focus on an adult cast and deepening madness. I dug the direction this installment took, and while it's a darker work it is still compulsively readable. My only complaint comes in the story's resolution, which lacked much of a punch for me. Shea was building toward some really intriguing ideas, and while I dug the central thoughts behind the climax I wish he had explored it a bit more deeply. The story ended a bit too abruptly for my tastes, but the build-up and execution of the story overall was pretty dang satisfying.

Now bring on Money Back Guarantee!

[Note: I received an advanced copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley.]

Optical Delusion is the second book of the Mail Order Massacres Trilogy. Although the basic premise is the same (a boy orders one of the "special" items from the back of a comic book), this book is vastly different than the previous one, Just Add Water.

Martin marches upstairs one night to gather his son Brian's friend, Noel, and walk him home. As a cheer-up gift for having chicken pox, Noel has purchased himself and Brian x-ray glasses from the back of a comic book. Martin puts on the glasses, which initially make him feel sick. As his wife walks by, he thinks he catches a brief glimpse of her pajamas underneath her robe. Curious, he goes later and takes the glasses and tries again. Soon he can see deeper. And then even deeper. However as the vision on the glasses improves, the glasses become more and more difficult to take off...

Another great, quick read. Can't wait for the final installment of the series!

Optical Delusion is another book in the Mail Order Massacres series from Hunter Shea. The first, Just Add Water, was a bit of bloody floof that was Creepshow-reminiscent and awesome. It was also (with a gore warning) something that 10+ year olds could read.

Optical Delusion is not recommended for kids. While it still puts one in mind of the old Creepshow episodes, it's definitely for adults. (Adult seriously channels his inner randy teenager, ya know?)

Blackstone is a typical male head of household for the period. He works hard, and expects to be able to go out with the boys, have a beer, have a few more at home, etc. He's not really a likable character so it's easy to grin when things start going sideways on him.

And it all starts with a pair of x-ray specs in Optical Delusion.

Channeling his inner perv, Blackstone is all riled up when he realizes that his son's x-ray specs actually work. However, unfortunately for him, he doesn't really get to experience much of the 'good stuff' before the consequences kick in.

Hunter Shea is a talented writer. Optical Delusion is a solid follow-up to Just Add Water. There were several scenes that had me grinning, and a few that made me feel as disgusted as the character. (The skeleton wife and kid scene were awesome. I could just see that one translating into bad practical effects on-screen.) However, Optical Delusion didn't appeal to me as much as the first book did. I think I was caught off guard by the more adult themes in the book to begin with. And then, while I was definitely able to enjoy it, it just never seemed to strike quite the right chord with me.

Another entertaining book by Hunter Shea. Optical Delusion teaches readers that everything comes with a price. (And that price mostly involves lots of blood.)

4 stars

Ha ha! I get a kick out of Hunter Shea’s little almost short stories.

In this one, Martin Blackstone “borrows” his son’s magical X-ray glasses. Purchased for a buck from a comic book, the glasses promise that you can see through stuff. Marty tries them and all they do is give him a headache. But he can’t seem to quit wearing them. Then strange things begin to happen.

It’s magic! It’s science! He begins to see through people’s clothes! And more! He wins at poker with his buddies for he can now see their cards. As he spirals down into a kind of madness, Marty can’t seem to get the glasses off his face. Things go from bad to worse as Marty can see more and more – even things he does not want to see. Then Marty descends into hell.

Written with humor and a kind of childish fun, this little story is well written and plotted. I like the outlandishness of Mr. Shea’s ideas. They appeal to my sense of the absurd and provide a welcome relief from the everyday sameness of life. I’ll keep reading Mr. Shea if only to add a little humor and childish delight into my life.

I want to thank Netgalley and Kensington Books for forwarding to me a copy of this fun little book to read.

Okay, so honestly, I liked the Sea Monster (Monkey) one better, but I still really enjoyed Shea’s latest book in his Mail Order Massacres series.

Yet again, Shea takes the product you always wanted from the back of the comic book and imagines what it would be like if the product really worked…horribly, terribly worked.

The book is a lot of fun, gory, and eventually takes some unexpected turns.

I just didn’t love the ending.

The ending made sense. I just wanted a slam bam ending and didn’t get one.

Still enjoyed the book and can’t wait for whatever horrible goodies Shea brings us next!

We all remember seeing them advertised in the back of comic books – x-ray glasses that would enable you to see someone’s skeleton – unless that someone was a woman, then you could see her underwear. Martin Blackstone is ticked that his son was stupid enough to spend money on something so ridiculous, until he tries them on. They give Martin a terrific headache, but then he begins to see things – like women’s underwear. Cool, right? Only until the glasses fuse themselves to his face and show him vision of a future apocalypse, terrible things that turn a father and a husband into something horrible himself. A fun read for those who don’t mind a little gore with their horror

OPEN YOUR EYES WITH “X-RAY” VISION!

Put on a pair of “X-Ray” glasses and things will never look the same! These almost magical specs will make you the hit of the party! Astonishing three-dimensional X-Ray visions of what your friends—and girls—look like under their clothes! And all for just $1.

THE MORE YOU WEAR THEM . . .

Martin Blackstone punishes his son for wasting his allowance on a pair of flimsy cardboard sunglasses X-ray vision . . . yeah, right. Martin tries them on just for the hell of it—and all they do is give him a headache . . .

. . . THE DEEPER YOU’LL SEE.

Until he sees things he can’t possibly be seeing. Glimpses of things on the other side of a wall or beneath someone’s clothing. He wants to believe it’s just his overactive imagination but the “X-Ray” specs actually work. Then the fun novelty becomes a waking nightmare when the glasses burn into his face and he starts seeing horrifying apocalyptic visions no mortal man was ever meant to see. Images that alter his very personality—from a husband and father to a bloodthirsty homicidal maniac . . .

Because sometimes you can see too much.

This was a great short story with a nice graphic storyline. It must be great to have the chance to wear X-Ray glasses.

Blackstone uses them to ogle at women and also cheat at poker, but the longer he wears the glasses the more in-depth they become, which means he sees far more than he wanted too!!

Great short story that keeps you wanting to turn the page!!

Review: OPTICAL DELUSION by Hunter Shea (MAIL-ORDER MASSACRES #2)

I really enjoyed the way this story played out, even the "oh no!" ending. It's very taut without dropped plot threads, smoothly written. Mr. Shea continues to demonstrate his talent for the classic horror trope which first saw life in the form of the medieval morality play--otherwise known as "be careful what you wish for" (subcategory, "if it's good to be true").

Brian and Noel are delightful young boys, unalterably best friends, and Brian's mother Angie is a sweetheart. His father, Martin, not so much. He's not bad, he's not mean; he's just not a stand-up guy. Martin is, however, our protagonist and the student who must learn the lesson of this tale. Noel acquires by mail order two pairs of "X Ray glasses." Both boys try them, and get headaches. So they put the glasses aside. Not so Average-Guy Martin: on him they work: he views nudity, skeletons, internal organs, and evil-actual evil. Poor Martin: be careful what you wish for--it may come to pass.

When Martin Blackstone's son is given a pair of X-Ray specs from a comic book, they don't seem to work. Martin puts them on and discovers a whole new world lurking just beneath the surface. How far will Martin's obsession with the X-Ray specs take him?

Hunter Shea is my go-to guy when it comes to fun horror. When this came up on Netgalley, I couldn't resist.

First we got a horror novel about sea monkeys. Now, X-Ray specs! Like most pre-pubescent boys who bought comics in the late 1970s and early 80s, I saw the ads for these and always wondered what it would be like to wear a pair.

Pretty horrific, it turns out. Sure, Martin cheats at poker and ogles the hottest woman in town but sometimes, you see too much. Optical Delusion is almost a tale of addiction for that reason. It's also gory good fun as Martin goes off the rails.

Much like Just Add Water, Optical Delusion is a love letter to those cheesy ads in the backs of comic books from years past, only this love letter is written in blood. Four out of five stars.