Book 3 in the Mail Order Massacres trilogy and it takes a different direction than what I was expecting!

Rosemary's son really wants the Nuclear Submarine he sees advertised on the back of one of his comic books, it looks amazing, it will fit him AND one of his friends inside it and it only costs $1.99!! She caves and decides to get it for him, it's her son and she loves him.

When it arrives they put it together and he begins his fun filled days playing in his new submarine. One day, however, he and his friend decide to get into it in a swimming pool, both nearly dying in the process as cardboard and water don't mix (don't try it kids!)

Rosemary then complains to the Better Business Bureau about the company after trying to contact the company itself and receiving no reply, said company is not best pleased and things start to get weird, well, weirder than normal resulting in her husband and son going missing.

Cue her survivalist brother, herself and shit loads of weapons on a journey of rescue and that $1.99 back.

Another weird and random story by Hunter Shea and 1 that I really enjoyed even with that ending. I read this, Just Add Water and Jurassic Florida in one night as I needed more of his particular brand of insanity.

*Huge thanks to Hunter Shea, Kensington Books, Lyrical Underground and NetGalley for this copy which I chose to read and all opinions are my own*

Money Back Guarantee is the third book in the Mail Order Massacre series. This time the item of desire is an even crazier item than offered in the previous books, a nuclear submarine. But I remember crazy stuff being available in a ‘prize’ book from my childhood, so why not a submarine. Anyway, as it goes the mail order item isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The submarine is made of cardboard, probably not the best material if you expect it to float. Its’ no surprise that disaster strikes one hot minute after assembly.

Again, Hunter gives us more great references to a time long gone, including Dwight drinking from the hose. If you pay attention, there are cool references to Amazing Sea Serpents and Optical Delusion. Money Back Guarantee turned eerie and started to freak me out when complaints to the company led to threatening calls and missing family members. Then Hunter turns the dial-up on the level of tension for Dwight’s Mom. When she visited the manufacturer, AdventureCo, the level of insanity took me by surprise and it was great. This is when all hell breaks loose and I loved the level of crazy of this last installment to the series. I would like to see more of them sometime down the road!

"Money Back Guarantee" is the third and final installment on Shea's Mail Order Massacres series. In this novella, Rosemary, who has just received her first Tupperware commission check, orders a submarine for her son Dwight, which he saw in the back of his Spiderman comic. When the sub arrives, it is nothing but a large cardboard monstrosity, but Dwight loves it just the same. One day Dwight and his best friend are almost killed using the sub in the friend's pool which sends Rosemary on a rampage. Rosemary is determined to contact the maker of the sub, AdventureCo, to get her money back but at what cost?

I liked "Money Back Guarantee" more than "Optical Delusion," but "Just Add Water" remains my favorite. Almost all of the characters in this edition are likable, and I love that Shea made Rosemary a kick-ass lead. Dwight is a sometimes frustrating little kid, but I found his expectations of his new toy and his demand for a replacement when it sinks totally reasonable for a child his age. I even liked Rosemary's husband which is saying a lot after the perv introduced in "Optical Delusion."

Over the past few months, I've looked forward to this series. I honestly hope Shea eventually writes more novellas from this series because I'm sure there are more tales roaming about in that mind of his. Shea has solidified himself as a must-read writer in my book and I look forward to reading more of his books and novellas in the future.

The latest installment in the Mail Order massacres series is a total blast (quite literally)! This time, the story is about a mail-ordered submarine, which turns out to be nothing more than a large piece of cardboard. When her son almost drowns on his undersea adventure in his friend's swimming pool, Rosemary Lanchester is determined to get her money back. But it seems the address of AdventureCo, the company who sold the crap toy, does not exist. Then the anonymous phone calls start, insulting Rosemary and threatening her family. When her husband and son disappear, Rosemary is determined to get them back and give AdventureCo not only a piece of her mind, but some bullets as well...

There were several scenes, especially at the beginning of the story, that reminded me of my own son, e.g. the enthusiasm with which Dwight played with the submarine. Where his parents saw only a cheap piece of cardboard, Dwight was not disappointed, but thrilled to have his own submarine and with his imagination made it come to life. Also, the deep disappointment when the submarine was ruined by the water, and before that the naive believe that it should have been able to swim at all. Or Dwight's outburst of anger towards Rosemary when she decides to trash the replacement sub instead of letting him play with it because she thinks it's such a dangerous fraud. While I'm not so sure I would have acted the same way, I totally agree with her determination to protect her son at all costs.

The last part of the story is a satisfying action- and bullet-packed roller coaster of a showdown, though it ended with a mean little twist.
Afterthought: I wonder whether Dwight got a look at the mysterious man but maybe was better capable to deal with it because of his still unlimited childish imagination.

A great story and hopefully not the last in this spectacular series.

Yea, but it's the principle of the thing.

This is the third and final novella of the MAIL ORDER MASSACRES trilogy, following JUST ADD WATER and OPTICAL DELUSION. This was probably my favorite of the three stories.

It's 1982 in New Hampshire and nine year old Dwight wants to order the six foot long nuclear submarine out of the back of a comic book - for only $5.00 - and it comes with a money-back guarantee.

Well, his mom Rosemary wants satisfaction when Dwight and his best friend almost drown when they launch the cardboard sub in his friend's pool.

And the rest of the story spirals into chaotic, hellish disorder.

This was a fun, fast, gory read and it brought back memories of the 1980s and times when my brothers and I wanted to order some cheap gimmick from the back of a comic book. Thanks for the memories, Hunter Shea.

I received this book from Kensington Books through Net Galley in exchange for my unbiased review.

This is the third installment of the Mail Order Massacres - and it's another great one. I'm only sad that this is the last!

Rosemary buys her son a nuclear submarine from the back of a comic book and when he plays with it, both he and his friends nearly drowns. When she complains, they send a replacement. And another... And things keep getting worse.

Lots of fun and the end is great.

Money Back Guarantee is a whole lot of fun and nicely rounds off author Hunter Shea's trio of novellas in his 'Mail Order Massacre' series; which I highly recommend. This is exactly how tongue-in-cheek, 80s-style horror should be done!

When Rosemary orders a toy 'nuclear submarine' from an advert in the back of a comic book for son Dwight, it starts a downward spiral of strange events. Dwight almost drowns when he tests the cardboard sub in pal Jimmy's swimming pool. Enraged, Rosemary tries to complain and secure a refund but things start to go horribly wrong. That's all I'm going to say for fear of spoiling the great entertainment.

This novella can easily be read in one sitting and forges ahead at a stonking pace. The intended reading sequence is - Just Add Water, Optical Delusion and finally Money Back Guarantee (the first two also having been reviewed on my blog). One word of warning though - just don't take them too seriously!

Thanks to NetGalley and Lyrical Underground for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Review: MONEY BACK GUARANTEE by Hunter Shea
(MAIL ORDER MASSACRES)

WOW! WOW! WOW! Talk about pageturner! Talk about speed of light reading experience! Hunter Shea continues to outdo himself!

I didn't breathe while reading. I certainly didn't blink. If the world ended, guess I missed it. Nothing existed for me but the characters and plot in this story.

Three truisms here:

If it's too good to be true, it isn't true. Avoid it.

The customer is NOT always right. Sometimes, the customer is dead.

Yes, Virginia, there really are worse bugaboos than multinational corporations or the government. And they're hungry and like to toy with humanity. Beware.

From what I understand, this is the last of the Mail Order Massacres novella series. That's a damn shame! The first dealt with sea monkeys, the second with X-Ray glasses, and this one- a nuclear submarine. All ordered from the back of a comic book. You shouldn't worry though because if you're not happy with your submarine, there's a money back guarantee!

So what happens when Rosemary orders said nuclear sub and her son tries to take it into his best friend's pool? As you can imagine, it doesn't go very well because the sub is actually made out of cardboard. Rosemary tries to get her money back and that's when everything goes south. Is her son okay? Will she be refunded her $5.00? You'll have to read this ripping novella to find out!

Money Back Guarantee was a fast paced story that can easily be knocked off in one sitting. Was it fun? Hell, yeah! Was it engaging? Oh yes! Was it totally believable? Probably not, but if you're looking at these kinds of books, believability is probably not your first priority. If what you ARE looking for is fun, then this is the novella for you!

I'm going with highly recommended on this one, because it's just so entertaining!

You can pre-order your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/Money-Back-Gua...

*Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-ARC in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it.*

4.5 stars!

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE is the third installment of Hunter Shea's "Mail Order Massacres" series. In my opinion, he saved the best one for last! This tale takes place in 1982.

Rosemary informs her husband, Gavin, about the money she earned from her tupperware sales. Immediately, her young son, Dwight, bursts in with an advertisement on the back of one of his comic books--this one for a "real nuclear submarine".

With a cost of only five dollars, how could a mother possibly say no?

". . . she prayed his imagination would win out over corporate greed and hucksterism, reimagining this obvious piece of crap into the wonder sub he'd been waiting weeks to get . . . "

Needless to say, the "nuclear sub" is made of cardboard . . . Nonetheless, Dwight's enthusiasm is through the roof, and Rosemary figures no harm is done.

Until tragedy almost strikes.

". . . He was young. In his mind, he was invincible."

This is merely the set-up to one of Hunter Shea's best novellas yet. The story is laced with dark humor all throughout--even in places where the gore is flying all around, you may find a smile creeping along your face in appreciation for a comment or gesture proceeding it. The character of Rosemary is much deeper than you would think, given the first few pages. Throw in some war paint, and I could easily paint a picture of a warrior going unflinchingly into battle. Her "sweet-mother" persona quickly morphs into a raging "mother-bear-on-a-mission" rampage as the stakes are raised.

The enemy--a mysterious company named AdventureCo, that refuses to make good on their "money back guarantee".

"They wanted to play rough. She was ready to play rougher . . . "

Stopping only to enlist the help of her "survivalist-paranoid" brother, Rob, Rosemary is off to find the company that nobody seems to want to speak of.

". . . she had to admit her brother was a damn good substitute. Perhaps even better . . . because he was slightly crazy and heavily armed . . . "

This story was pure "fun" for an 80's loving, horror fan! The action increased exponentially as things progressed, never giving the reader the desire to pause in the storyline. She injects quite a few throwbacks to the lifestyles in the 1980's that are so true, the story itself feels just as if it 'could" be taking place here.

Each scene was a new revelation--there were unexpected twists at every turn. Due to the rapid feel of this novella, I found myself caught completely unaware by all of them. This is a story that truly takes you away from your routine life, and puts you in another era for its duration.

"He wanted to see what kind of a man had done this . . . So, I let him see . . . "

Overall, a fast-paced romp that will leave you smiling and cringing in equal measures. The last selection in Hunter Shea's "Mail Order Massacres" series is my personal favorite of the three.

Highly recommended!

I am a Hunter Shea fan and this Trilogy has been cool because he has taken a few of the cheesy comic book adds that I remember from my childhood and turned them into something dark and scary.

In this third one Rosemary has just received her first check from selling tupperware and her kid Dwight talks her into getting him this really cool submarine since she has all this extra cash. Just like a kid, right? :)

She decides to get it for him but when it comes it's a really a piece of trash. It's just made out of cardboard, but Dwight seems to enjoy it so she lets it go. Next thing you know Dwight and his friend Jimmy try to use it in the pool and almost drowned when it collapsed in on them.

She is one mad mother and calls up the company but they are hard to find and then soon she starts getting some weird phone calls. Then her husband and kid go missing and she has do what she can do to get them back.

I was a bit worried about this one as it didn't sound as fun as the other ones did but I enjoyed this one a lot more than the second one. Just Add Water will always be my favorite out of the trilogy though but this one was a nice wrap up.

Rosemary is one mom you don't want to mess with man! She was super cool and you don't want to get her mad.

There were a few things I was questioning at the end and it did feel a little bit rushed but overall I really enjoyed it. It was a very enjoyable trilogy and I am a little sad to see it finished but look forward to trying out more of Shea's books. :)

Another entry in a totally stand-alone series (Mail Order Massacres) from Hunter Shea. This one starts off in a similar manner, an item, this time a submarine, is ordered from the back of a comic book, but what they get is something far more sinister. Great little tale of horror, and revenge, told in a face paced, and entertaining way. Very enjoyable, as is much of the work by Mr. Shea.

How many times have you bought something thinking, well, it has a money back guarantee so what do I have to lose?! Well, your family and your life for one!

When Rosemary makes some extra money hosting a Tupperware party she decides to give in to her son and order his own submarine from the back of a comic book. It's only $5 and has a money back guarantee. Well, after her son and his friend almost die in it she is a true mama bear and wants to get her money back and warn others of this dangerous "toy". Only she is having trouble finding the company and replacement subs keep showing up. When her husband disappears and then her son disappears she knows she has to go where she thought she never would.

I was given an eARC by the publisher through NetGalley.

4 stars

This short book is another fun read from Hunter Shea.

Nine-year old Dwight begs his mother to order a nuclear submarine from the back pages of his latest Spider Man comic book. It even comes with a money back guarantee! And it’s only $5.00! When it arrives, it is (of course), a cheap piece of cardboard half the size of advertised. But Dwight loves it.

When Dwight and a neighbor boy nearly drown in the neighbor’s pool while sailing their sub, Rosemary, Dwight’s mom goes ballistic and tries to contact the company, AdventureCo, to complain and get her money back. Only she can’t find them. They apparently don’t exist in Teagan’s Mill, SC; the advertised location.

When Dwight starts acting out and Rosemary starts getting threatening and frightening phone calls from AdventureCo., she is confused and scared. How did they know that Dwight was misbehaving? Are they watching her? What is going on? Then Gavin and Dwight go missing.

Rosemary contacts her survivalist brother. Apparently the government has been keeping an eye on them and they are a scary company. They load for bear and head to Teagan’s Mill, SC. They assault the AdventureCo hidden entrance and Rosemary makes an impression.

This book is as well written as Mr. Shea’s previous books. I liked it very much. It made me laugh. It was well plotted and very fast paced. There is a lot happening in this little story, and it moves right along linearly straight to the end of the book. Mr. Shea is a great writer who has that ability to laugh at himself. It’s almost as if he is writing a satire on horror novels. Great fun!!

I want to thank NetGalley and Kensington Books/Lyrical Underground for forwarding to me a copy of this fun book to read and enjoy.

Not to nitpick but my obsessive compulsive nature requires that I state that the money back guarantee was for 5 dollars, not $1.99

Having previously read Optical Delusion and Just Add Water by Hunter Shea I was anxiously awaiting this third installment, and as much as I enjoyed both of those, this is by far my favorite adventure into the horrors of mail order shopping.

Set in the 1980s and steeped in all it's glorious culture of Tupperware parties this fast paced horror takes what should be a mundane ordinary experience and turns it into something horrifying.
Against her better judgment, Rosemary allows herself to be talked into purchasing a toy from an advertisement in the back of a comic book for her son Dwight. Naturally, when it finally arrives it's a piece of junk. When Dwight and his friend nearly drown while playing, Rosemary has quite literally a hell of time trying to track down the elusive "AdventureCo" manufacturer that nobody has ever heard of. Unfortunately for Rosemary, AdventureCo has heard of her, and they do not like complaints.

Money Back Guarantee by Hunter Shea was received direct from the publisher. Money Back Guarantee rounds out the authors trilogy of "comic book" terror tales. A comic book tale is for those of us who remember old school comic books that had the ads that made claims that could not possibly be true, could they? MBG takes on the $5.00 nuclear submarine that holds two and even shoots torpedoes (that came with it). While the submarine is a piece of junk, customer service for the company is no joke, as the mother quickly finds out. The book is a quick read with no inane and/or wasted dialogue.

4 stars

When Dwight saw the ad for the nuclear sub in the back of a Spider-Man comic, he just had to have it. His mother Rosemary, flush from tupperware sales, was happy to get it for him. When Dwight nearly drowned in a mass of soggy cardboard, Rosemary wanted her money back!

I'm a fan of Hunter Shea's Mail Order Massacres so I snapped this up when it popped up on Netgalley.

As I said in my reviews of the previous two novellas in this series, I have fond memories of looking through the dubious ads in the backs of comics in the early 1980s so this series has hit all the right spots for me. Money Back Guarantee is no different.

When Dwight's cardboard nuclear sub arrived in the mail, I felt nostalgic but also sad for him. Once the sub became a soggy mess, I was solidly behind mother. Who knew the faceless corporation behind all that novelty garbage could be so sinister?

Hunter Shea's writing took me down a nostalgic road to the early 1980s, when I was a kid and everything was possible, including the stuff you could order from the back of comics. There are little nods to the early 1980s, like Tupperware parties, music, and movies, but I didn't feel like it was nostalgia-pandering. AdventureCo, the diabolic faceless corporation behind the junk, was much worse than I imagined.

While I think Mail Order Massacres is just a trilogy, I'd happily gobble up more of these like one of the flesh eating plants I saw in the back of Batman comic once upon a time. Four out of five stars.

This latest entry in Shea’s Mail Order Massacre series is by far my favorite.

Invoking shades of Bentley Little, Shea takes us on a weird and dark journey as one mom tries to get her money back for a mail order toy that went horribly wrong.

The storytelling is sharp and on point here. Expect to be amused, horrified, and chilled as something very evil plays with our unwitting little family.

I hope the author continues with this little series of books. With each additional book, he’s creating his own bizarrely horrific world - sort of a back-of-the-book Twilight Zone or Outer Limits. It’s a world I don’t want to live in, but I sure do enjoy reading it.

More, please!

Hunter Shea bring his Mail Order Massacres novella trilogy to a close in Money Back Guarantee (or does he?!). In the first book, Shea treated us to mutant sea creatures running amok in a placid suburban town, and then showed us a little bit too much through the lenses of X-Ray specs. In this final installment, the comic book mail order centerpiece is a nuclear submarine. Unlike the prior installments, though, the mail order item is not the central figure for frights but is rather a gateway to the corporation behind it all.

After Dwight convinces his mother to order him a $5 nuclear sub from the back of a Spider-Man comic, he is thrilled to receive a three-foot long cardboard box shaped like a submersible. Dwight's new toy, however, is not waterproof and after the thing disintegrates, his mother, Rosemary, is set on getting her $5 back from the company, who promises a money back guarantee. The only problem is, AdventureCo doesn't seem to exist - and the deeper Rosemary digs, the more dangerous her pursuit grows. Soon, she begins to receive strange and threatening phone-calls in the middle of the night. Mysterious packages show up on her doorstep. She's being watched. And then... well, you'll just have to read it to find out.

One of the best parts of this series has been seeing Hunter Shea take the core premise of mail order junk and build various horror tropes around it. The first book was a ridiculous and fun bit of creature feature mayhem. The second, if it were to be filmed, would be a Harryhausen-like special effects romp. Money Back Guarantee is a slower work of psychological suspense, one that builds to an action-packed finale. It's short (possibly shorter than the other two, but I'd have to check), but that works entirely in its favor here. This one's fast-moving and gripping, and I wanted to know what was going to happen next and how it would resolve.

Personally, I love the hell out of the concept behind this series, and I certainly wouldn't mind seeing more in this vein. If Shea's willing to write more of these fun, quirky novellas, I will happily read them, money back guarantee or not!

[Note: I received an advance copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley.]