This book was just devastating to read. The stark descriptions of these horrible events are heartbreaking, but also written in such a way that I couldn't put it down for anything. So extremely well done work on such a difficult subject.

This book will definitely hold the interest of teen readers. The characters are well developed and the story is engaging. I will defintely recommend it to my students.

This book is very buzzy, and it’s probably just me, but I just don’t get it. Disclaimer: I have a teenage daughter, so books about (kinda spoiler but not really since it’s the whole premise of the book) bad things happening to teenage girls have to get over a pretty steep threshold for me to appreciate them. That could be the problem. Or it could be that I am just so, so, so tired of these kinds of stories in general, where we spend our time falling in love with young women who end up being victims of male violence. This is the same reason I can’t watch Westworld or The Handmaid’s Tale — it feels like these stories ultimately end up seeing things through the same lens they are supposed to be critiquing. Really, I could be the problem here.

Sort of like The Lovely Bones (which, come to think of it, also didn't work for me), I Stop Somewhere is a coming-of-age story set in a young woman’s afterlife. Ellie was brutally attacked and murdered, and now her spirit lingers in the empty suburban house where her attackers hid her body, watching them assault (but not murder) a series of other young women. At the same time, Ellie’s remembering her life, which was mostly lonely and confusing, where the best thing she could hope for was just not to be noticed. There’s some talk about the power women have inside them and some watery sort of less-unhappy endings for some of the side characters, but the book never stops feeling bleak. Maybe there’s some stuff to unpack here about rape culture and invisible girls, but I think there are other books that do this better.

It wasn’t for me. Obviously. If you read it, treat it like it’s plastered with trigger warnings about every kind of sexual abuse and violence, and if it works for you, please tell me what I’m missing.

Thank you to Macmillan Children's Publishing Group | Feiwel & Friends for allowing me to read an eARC of this in exchange for an honest review.

This is a young adult novel, but the topics it covers is DARK. Definite trigger warnings for rape, sexual harassment, bullying, etc. It's a hard one to get through. I was surprised by how much this novel didn't hold back.
You are following Ellie, a high school girl, who goes unnoticed most of the time. People make fun of her, and bully her. When Caleb, a boy she goes to school with, shows interest in her, she is all for it. Sadly, he isn't who she thinks he is, and it goes down hill from there.
The synopsis sounds like something I would give five stars instantly. Unfortunately, it didn't make it to my favorites. The writing fell a bit flat, and so did the characters. The writing style was choppy, and bland. The characters weren't really developed at all. It just didn't flow the way I was hoping it would. That doesn't mean I didn't show any emotion when major events were happening. It's definitely not easy to sit through. You just want to save Ellie, and all of the other girls involved. It's actually heartbreaking, and it probably happens more than you think.
This story has a great message behind it, and it brings light to horrible situations. It was just middle of the road for me though. I'm sure this will be great for other people, but it didn't do it for me.

Oof. This was a little slow to start, but utterly gripping. It's a book that made me feel sick because it was so brutally honest about the value we put on the lives of girls and the value we put on the lives of boys. The worth of a girl's body vs the worth of a boy's future. As harsh as it was, in some ways even aspects of this story seemed too kind and optimistic to the reality, but maybe I'm just extra jaded after the past few weeks.

I'm glad I read this. I think this is an important edition to the canon in YA about sexual assault. I don't think I can ever read it again though.

Ellie hasn't had an easy life. All throughout her school career she has been tortured and tormented by her classmates. Nobody caring to get to know the young woman that she is. Ellie decides that this year is going to be different. This year she is going to blend in and escape the torment. This year is going to be her year.

In an instant that all changes. Ellie finds herself in more trouble than she could have ever imagined. Trouble that will not only effect her, but her family as well.

What happens to the ones who go unnoticed? The ones that fade into the background. Only Ellie can answer that question.

I loved this book! The full review will be posted soon at kaitgoodwin.com/books! Thank you very much for this wonderful opportunity to connect books to their readers!

I generally don’t like to know too much about books before I read them, but in the case of I Stop Somewhere by T. E. Carter, well, I really had an incorrect idea of what this one is about. I went in thinking it was a dark mystery, but while it is dark, it is really a character-driven story about Ellie, a girl who experiences a brutal assault. The plot is quite minor, and this is such a quiet and disturbing story that the audiobook I listened to was likely not the right format.

I Stop Somewhere moves between the past and present, and even knowing how things turn out for Ellie, I kept wanting things to turn out differently. The book is thoughtfully written and tells an important story, but I just felt like the writing really dragged and it could have been half as long and still gotten the same story across. I had a hard time connecting with Ellie, and I wanted more from the secondary characters, especially Ellie’s dad. I wish I would have gone into reading I Stop Somewhere with different expectations, but if you are considering reading it just know it is a depressing, haunting and thought-provoking book. I Stop Somewhere may not be a book I’d reread, but I am glad stories like this are being told.

I Stop Somewhere reminded me a bit of The Lovely Bones. The subject matter is, at times, intense and, as a whole, it’s heartbreaking. Yet, it was really quite good. Other than that, I’m completely blanking on what to say about this book. It was moving and it was devasting; therefore, it simply must go on your tbr pile. Seems a funny way to up sell it, but there you go. Once you read it yourself you’ll see what I mean. It’s not a fun and cozy read; it is one you should read all the same.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the review copy.

T.E. Carter’s I Stop Somewhere is a stark, raw, and heart wrenching story about a teenager named Ellie Frias, who finds herself trapped after a brutal assault. Not only is Ellie unable to escape, she is forced to watch many other girls be victimized as she was because her attackers are serial rapists. As she waits for someone to find her, Ellie resorts to using her memories as a way to cope with not only what she has gone through, but what she is forced to witness each time her attackers find a new victim.

What I found so interesting about this book is that even though there’s clearly a crime, there’s no mystery here to solve. Because we’re seeing everything unfold through the eyes of the victim, we know exactly who the perpetrators are. The only questions here are will they be punished for their crimes and will the victims get justice, which is where the crux of Carter’s narrative lies. I Stop Somewhere points out some ugly truths about rape culture and misogyny, victim blaming in particular, and it also exposes how wealth and privilege mean more to some than making sure justice is served.

The most powerful aspect of I Stop Somewhere, however, is actually not its exploration of these dark themes. Instead, it’s the look inside of Ellie’s mind that we are given. As we watch the events of the present unfold through Ellie’s eyes, we also take an intimate look at her life as she reflects on all of her hopes and dreams, regrets, as well as any and all choices that she has made throughout her life that have led to her current situation. I found myself in tears a few times while reading Ellie’s thoughts because all she wanted was to be loved. It’s a heartbreaking look at just how fragile and vulnerable a teenage girl’s esteem can be and how there are monsters out there who prey on that vulnerability.

I Stop Somewhere is, by no means, an easy book to read. There were times when I had to set it aside because it just had me too upset to continue. I went back and forth between being heartbroken about everything that happened to Ellie and being absolutely furious about how law enforcement and the justice system were treating the victims. It’s an emotional draining read at times, but one that I would highly recommend.

Definitely a necessary book in YA collections because of how the author deals with the darker aspects of teenage girldom. Ellie is character like so many young women, one who is bullied and tormented during the most formative years that she believes the only choice she has is a complete self overhaul and believing the only way to find self-worth is through an unhealthy and dangerous relationship. While there is a bit of a thriller aspect, as well as a cautionary tale, at the end of the day it is also so much more than that. A worthy purchase for YA shelves as well as a great teen book club book, because male readers need this just as much as female readers do.

This book is hard to read. It's a horrifying subject matter and, presented in a first person narrator, absolutely harrowing.

The protagonist is so accessible and realistic. She's just a normal girl, average in every way, trying her best to be accepted at her school. Her voice was clear and strong, and her insights into other characters ad situations was what you would expect of a high schooler.

Her boyfriend/rapist is less so. He's first introduced as a popular guy with a couple of red flags, but once he's revealed as her rapist, his character is suddenly much more sinister. He's written so we can believe the protagonist would fall for him, then suddenly is a monster. He and his brother (and father), are just written in a villain's light. While I appreciate making the audience side with the victim, it felt too heavy-handed.

The writing style is haunting in its realism. While the book was emotionally difficult to read, its well worth it.

This book was incredibly hard to read. A murdered teen girl follows her murderer and rapist to piece together what exactly went wrong and to make sure they receive justice. It sickened me how completely accurate this was, how it illustrated that the lives and safety of women seem to always be secondary to the reputations of men. Caleb constantly says "Hey, I'm just a guy. You understand, it's a guy thing." In many circles, that's a legitimate reason for horrible actions, which is maddening. I was worried going into the ending that a non-guilty verdict wouldn't give the MC closure, but that a guilty verdict is completely unrealistic in a world where white men regularly are acquitted of crimes simply because they are white men. Without giving away anything, I will just say I was relatively pleased with how Carter handled the ending of the book. I also loved that she included not only links for helpful agencies for readers who need assistance, but also a discussion guide for teens who want to talk about the book. My only gripes were that it was sometimes hard to follow the jumps from past to present and that the reveal of her being dead was drug out far too long given all the hints and foreshadowing. Trust me, you know she's dead from, like, chapter 3. Totally not a spoiler. This book made me want to wrap all my teen female students in bubble wrap and put them in a room to keep them safe forever.

Ellie is a girl who just wanted to be loved by a boy. She wanted to fit in and be part of a group. But what she got was heartbreak.

The elements of this story (the golden boys of the town who can do no wrong, the lonely girl who tries too hard, the petty meanness of teen girls) are all too familiar to anyone who has seen the headlines in the news. I wish you couldn't subtitle this novel "based on a true story" but you probably could.

Although it was a rough read (and it doesn't take long to know where the story is going), it was fast-paced and smooth. I didn't feel like there was anything I had to linger over to figure out.

Thanks to Netgalley for the e-arc to review.

I Stop Somewhere is a tough read.

It is brutal, and rough, and sad.

If you have read The Lovely Bones or Thirteen Reasons Why, this story sings a similar tune.

Rape culture is a subject many people tread lightly, avoid, or make fun of. And none of it is funny, all of it is real, and people are hurt in multiple ways. I Stop Somewhere is the story of Ellie Frias, a girl who blends in with the background, too young for anything bad to happen to her. We are always too young for anything to happen to us. We follower her narrative before, during, and after the brutal assault that is inflicted upon her. How broken a person can feel, how troubling it is to come forward and speak up after an attack, and the terrible legal process for convicting those guilty of sexual assault.

We all know the Brock Turner case. We have seen the #metoo come up on social media time and again. We hear of the scandals with celeberities like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein.

We hear comments like “well, look at what she was wearing” or “she shouldn’t have been alone” or “boys will be boys”

That last one I hate the most.

We know someone who has been hurt in unspeakable ways whether they have come out of the woodwork or not. That is their decision. A strong one because everyone is on their own battlefield, swords in hand. So to the girls who are slashing away with their shields batters and bruised, stay strong.

I read stories like I Stop Somewhere with a heavy heart because at some point in any woman’s life, there are comments made, hands placed somewhere uncomfortable, and words disregarded. And while Ellie’s story is violent and difficult, she is not the only one. She was the cover-up. The one forgotten. And so many girls are forgotten, with bruises too deep to mar skin. The content of this story is not to be taken lightly.

I want to take the time to say, you matter. If you are reading this post I want you to know that everything about you is beautiful and strong. That taking the day by storm or drizzle is your strength. That your voice is precious and loud, so keep on speaking. That you are not alone. Cliche or not, you are not alone. Women all across America wear their armor and it is not shiny or new. We have seen the battlefield and we stand with you, all of you.

You matter.

Honestly, this book is really depressing and triggering and I had to stop reading. If you can stomach it, I think it's a really important read. I just can't handle it right now.

I received this eARC uncorrected galley from Feiwel & Friends on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of this book in any way.

A warning before I begin. This book focuses on very heavy topics that may be triggers for some readers. If you have suffered sexual assault or other abuse, I would be wary about from reading this, as there are graphic scenes.

The Writing

From the very first page of this book, I was completely drawn in. From the first line, the first word, I knew I was reading something that mattered, something that was so important. The writing is almost lyrical in its beauty. It feels like something haunted and true and private and sacred. It feels like the poem of a soul. I couldn't put it down. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking only of this book and the precious, necessary story told within. The symbols in this book were consistent and poignant; they carved themselves in my heart. Houses, ghosts, zombies, lost girls--all caught between life and death, between existing and not. I was highlighting everything, writing each quote into my soul.

The Characters

Ellie: Our narrator is an average, invisible girl. She does little with her life. She doesn't even know who she is. She wants to be the definitions of "girl" she sees in magazines, the type of girl that is noticed, but in a good way, a way that means you are important and lovable. Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. Instead, she is used and discarded by the boy she thought she loved, thought she needed. She reflects on her Before and her After, and what she learns about what it means to mean something is truly powerful.

Caleb (and by extension, Noah): The Breward boys are the very embodiment of cruel, malicious entitlement, of confident fake-smiles and the love of pretending to be human. They take what they want and expect to get away with it--they have, after all, been getting away with everything their entire lives, as has their father, an equally despicable person.

Cassie and Thompson: These two women become the powerful female support and voice that all young girls need. They are what this world needs.

Kate: She is the friend that could have been.

Alex and Gomes: Alex, Ellie's father, is a hardworking single father who loves his daughter unconditionally, but is powerless to stop what happens to her, not because of anything he did or didn't do. Gomes, the detective on Ellie's case, learns that every girl is worth saving.

Gina Lynn: The mean girl who saw the light and saved the day in the end. Honestly, Gina was definitely one of the most surprising characters. She wasn't at all what I expected, but I'm glad she was.

Ellie's mother, Sierra: This woman is the opposite of Cassie and Thompson. She is what women shouldn't be, what people shouldn't be: ultimately self-serving and utterly apathetic.

Gretchen and the survivors: These girls are the candles whose wicks were doused but keep on burning, even if it's just an ember. They may flicker, but they still burn, and their flame can light the way for others to stand tall.

Conclusion

This was so much more than a book about rape. This was a book about loss and forgiveness (of yourself and others), about blame and where it lies, and what it means to matter. It was about what makes a girl. I felt like I was a part of something reading this. I felt personally touched and changed. I've experienced my own #metoo moments, though not as severe as in this book, but it struck a chord in me. I was left feeling strangely optimistic, though it doesn't have happy ending by any means. Nevertheless, I went away with the message (a message that has been a constant thought in my life recently, and a constant help as well) that the world is still full of beautiful things. That the horrible and the bad don't discount the tender sweet things. That life, even lost, is still wonderful.

God...this was heartbreaking. It was such a powerful but agonizing story to read. Ellie's story is something that I think everyone, especially young girls should read about. It is so raw and relatable. Being an insecure teenage girl who wants nothing but to be noticed and loved. "They targeted us because they thought we were weak. But even the weakest girl has power inside her. She maybe just needs a little guidance to find it." Ellie's story allowed us to follow her as she reflected on her life and the decisions she made (and were made for her) and how she found peace with helping bringing victims NO girls together. It also discussed how rape culture is portrayed in the media and how people respond to it including victim blaming and character assassination "People don't debate what defines murder. Politicians don't argue the body's ability to fight off being killed. There's no talk of "murder culture" No one says that you asked for murder. What you wear doesn't excuse being killed." This book is important because it gives a voice to victims and hopefully will make people talk about uncomfortable things like rape and abuse. This story was messy and intense and it speaks to all those times victims of sexual assault aren't heard or justice is not found. "Some people get closure, others just go on living because it's the only option." I loved Ellie's relationship with her father. It seemed so honest and realistic. My heart broke for not only her but for him. When he's breaking down over his love for her--my heart ached. "But if they could see this, if they could see what this kind of darkness does to a person, maybe they'd feel it too. Maybe they wouldn't make excuses anymore. Maybe they wouldn't shrug it off, because you know, these things happened."

I received an ARC of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.