Between 1910 and 1970, tens of thousands of Indigenous children of mixed-descent were forcibly removed from their families under the Australian government's assimilation policies.* These children are now known as the Stolen Generations. Many women were forced or tricked into giving their children up for adoption; Ali Cobby Eckermann's own birth mother was told that Ali had died shortly after her birth. Eckermann was adopted by a loving family, but she endured abuse, rape, and racism from peers and extended family. She always felt like an outsider. Even as a young girl, she felt like she had to bear her troubles alone. She coped with the repressed anger and shame by abusing drugs and alcohol. Her experiences are common among those who were taken from their families.


If you are unfamiliar with Australia's Stolen Generations or Aboriginal culture, I recommend doing a little research first. There's little explanation in this book, so I had difficulty placing this personal story into context. However, Eckermann's words inspired me to learn more. The sparse prose, straightforward storytelling, and the inclusion of the author's poetry make this memoir a quick read, but the subject matter is difficult from the very first chapter. My favorite poem included was "Circles and Squares," which I've quoted below. Four things stuck out to me as I was reading: (1) the way children internalize adult's well-meaning advice, (2) Eckermann's powerful descriptions of becoming hardened as a protective mechanism, (3) the concept of intergenerational trauma, and (4) the Indigenous kinship system/Eckermann's feeling of being happiest when all of her families were together. The moment when Eckermann meets her twelve-year-old niece for the first time is so touching: "The realisation that my family characteristics extend beyond my mother is fantastic. This is a new experience for me. It is a beautiful sensation to know I belong."


This book isn't an ideal introduction to the topic, but it's an important personal record. It shows the damaging effects of ripping children from their families and raising them completely divorced from their heritage. In Too Afraid to Cry, Eckermann chronicles her struggles with shame, guilt, belonging and identity, as well as her journey to find her family, healing, and self-acceptance. It's one woman’s story, but it echoes the stories of many around the world.

Ali Cobby Eckermann's memoir of her childhood as the adopted Aboriginal girl of a German family in Australia is half heartbreaking and many parts joy. ACE tells a story of childhood trauma and confusion about who she was. The narrative is clean, flows simply as if she is telling a story by the campfire. Interspersed between chapters, ACE gives us poetry that is beautiful, raising the story to great heights.

I was particularly surprised at the transitory nature of Ali's life. After she left her adopted home on the farm at 17, she moved so frequently, had so little to live on and no one to count on. It is a miracle that Ali survived to become an internationally lauded poet. I loved the stories, the joy that came to her and the resolution of various questions and hurts that haunted her for so many years.

It is difficult to read these kinds of stories but it is a gift to know that the actions of governments who try to wipe away indigenous cultures by taking children away from their mothers cannot ever be considered an option.

Do yourself a favor and read this gem. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this ARC.

This heartbreaking memoir delves into the stolen Indigenous childhood of generations in Australia, as Ali Cobby Eckermann powerfully reflects on how her identity was shaped by these forces!