Right off the bat, I have to say that I would almost define this book as the anti self help, self help book. From the first page the reader is taken down to size and through the book taught how to bring themselves back up and what that means when a person can do that for themselves.

It was an interesting read and as a person who doesn't read a ton of self help, it was out of my wheelhouse but intriguing. I liked seeing self help not always sunshine and rainbows and also that you make yourself great and you have to do it yourself and you can't rely on anyone else to do anything to move you forward.

I would recommend this book to someone who has read all the self help and wouldn't mind something a little different. This shouldn't be read by anyone who is "faint of heart" because it could definitely be a kicker!

DNF Review - I started this, but it felt kind of preachy, it was so aggressively "not" a self help" book that it felt like one. It was aiming for funny and I just didn't find it that. Maybe as a teenager I just couldn't relate, but I didn't feel like finishing this.

This has one of the most hilarious and completely true opening sections that I have ever read. It was so dead on that I was in tears and ready to apologize to both of my parents. Giving you more detail would only ruin the moment for you, so I won't. It really brought things into perspective with parental relations though and for that, every reader should be at least a bit grateful, especially to their mother.

The laughter and honesty keep coming in the following chapters and freakishly, it's often dead on, like one of those comics that has you nodding your head in agreement as you laugh.

There are also major nuggets of gold here to use for those that are in the market. It's true, you're not that great, but neither is anyone else and you can do better if you acknowledge your flaws and quit the self-defeating mantras that we all have almost hardwired into our heads from day one.

I want to avoid giving spoilers because Gale's work is valuable and so damn entertaining in situ. However, there is a specific market for this self-help book and it wasn't me. It's all about using those negative emotions you have to work for you and that makes so much sense unless you have a mental illness and these very negative emotions are the ones holding you back.

Let me give you an example so that you can see the difference and hopefully decide for yourself. You are dealing with something very common among all people, stage fright, before a speech, event, or even sharing your great idea at a meeting. It's a wonderful idea to throw a lasso around that anxiety and use it as your energy to make your move and deliver that great speech, idea, etc.
However, if you have been actually diagnosed with Anxiety by a mental health professional, you are probably so damn crippled that you can't get out of your jammies and bunny slippers or maybe even open your door. There is a difference, that doesn't make the book useless to those of us with actual anxiety, it's solutions are only less useful. The premise is still dead on for us all, we are not that great but no one else is either. That's actually a vital thing for those of us to realize that have any sort of mental illness, we always feel alone and "other". We are and at the same time, we aren't. Everybody sucks, they just do it in their own unique way. (I should trademark that phrase if possible!)

While the ending chapters were sort of a let down for me, the sort of person with an actual mental illness, there were still some golden nuggets and so much humor about it all that it was indeed useful. He even included a couple of quotes in his epilogue that totally disagree with his premise and that's brave as well as helpful for those other people like me.

So, would I buy it for everyone? No, I would buy it for many if not most though, which is saying a lot. Besides the mental health issue, I would shy away from those that are more into clean humor and writing because while I don't' remember any actual cussing, it is fairly irreverent and in your face and I can think of a few people that I attended Catholic school with that wouldn't see it's humor or appreciate it.

The bonus is that it's short, doesn't have any time-consuming worksheets and yet the humor of it keeps it fresh in your mind for a while.

Elan Gale has a message for you: you're not that great. In You're Not That Great (but neither is anyone else), Gale doesn't spread a lot of sunshine, but he does offer a little kick in the butt. He has some advice to help readers to be less not great. Gale, best known for his TV series The Bachelor, overcame some of his own failures and setbacks to achieve a high level of success in the world of entertainment. Maybe you can be better too.


The best part of You're Not That Great is chapter one, in which he reminds us about our inauspicious beginnings. "You began your life as a leech. . . . Your first act in this beautiful world was to cause the highest possible amount of pain to the person who loved you most. Nice work." In spite of the pain and hassles you caused, your parents still wanted you to think you were great. They told you your art was great, but "you probably drew a ridiculous son in the corner like some kind of idiot who has no sense of scale and no idea that if the sun were really that close it would burn all of our skin off. Idiot."


From there You're Not That Great becomes less funny and more challenging. Gale points out that the baseless positive affirmation we receive as children becomes an addiction. We crave positivity. "You are hopelessly and totally committed to FEELING GOOD when really you should be focused on BEING BETTER." Gale insisted that to be less not great, you need to learn from your failures, admit your own ignorance, stop dwelling on your regrets, learn from your mistakes, and use your shame, anxiety, and depression as "the building blocks you need to create a less sh---y life than the one you have."


Gale is profane, in your face, and unpleasant, but he is also practical and realistic. This is quite different from most self-help books, but probably more self-helpful (and entertaining) than most.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!