Mildly engaging autobiographical post-mortem of entitled millennial's sex life. 6th form solipsism.

The buzz about this book has been huge, so I suspect you've already heard about it - but if not, this is one that you really need on your radar. Dolly Alderton's memoir is about dating, growing up, living in London, and friendship - all topics which I'm sure you've read about before. But, you've never read about it like this before - this is a whole new take on what can be an oversaturated genre that took me by surprise and at turns had me laughing at loud and weeping real tears. 

There are delightful little snippets of satire and a few recipes thrown in between the chapters to give a change of pace and really allow Dolly's full personality to shine through - she's a multi-talented writer with wit and warmth, and this makes what could be yet another reformed-party-girl, twenty-something-millennial memoir into something so much more. 

More than anything else, this book is a love letter to Dolly's friends, particularly her oldest and dearest friend Farly. Friendship is a subject that gets neglected, both in literature and in life, but I have always found tales of enduring friendship more moving than tales of romantic love. If I was Farly, I would have started crying in the very first chapter and never ever stopped again (which is probably why I'm not friends with someone as cool as Dolly Alderton). 

This book will break your heart and heal it again in the course of its pages, and it absolutely needs to be on your reading list for this year.

This was an interesting concept, I haven't read many memiors but do have a few on my TBR shelf. Once I started this book I wasn't sure what to expect and for a bit I was wanting more description rather than just been told something, but after about 30% the book got more detailed and interesting. I really liked Dolly and her friends were fabulous they all were supportive of her and there for her, which is what you need in a friend. I finishied this book wishing there was more books. I hope Dolly does write another book.

Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

I really loved that Dolly’s story was mostly a celebration about the one true love in every girl’s life: her friends.

OH, but this book.




I’m a fiction girl, through and through. Let’s get that out of the way now. I think probably 99.9% of the books I read are novel length stories that some genius person made up in their head. That’s not to say I don’t like poetry, or short stories, or books that are biographical/autobiographical in nature, or books that say they are going to tell me lots of things that I don’t know but I wish that I did, it’s just that I don’t tend to gravitate towards them…and I am unsure why that is. Anyhow, I wanted to do something about that – broaden my bookish horizons so to speak and so when Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love kept flitting across my radar and I realised that this could be a book that I related to, I decided that I wanted to read it. I was desperate to read it. For the first time since well, EVER, I was all grabby-hands impatient for a book that was less fiction and more autobiographical. And then the usual thing happened: I got it, and it took me ALL OF TIME to get around to reading it. I’ve had this baby on my Kindle since last year and the thing is that I’m trying to get the balance between reading the things I should read in order to get my reviews up in a timely fashion and also reading the things that I am in the mood for (and also my desperation to read it was mixed with a teeny bit of trepidation: this is not my usual thing)

And then I read it last weekend.

And I loved it.

Dolly Alderton let me be your friend.

This book: I was not prepared to love it this hard.

I mean I kind of thought it was going to hit the spot for me – Dolly is my generation (a few years younger actually but hush I am not prepared to be 35 this year) and the things she talks about, from being a teenage girl on MSN onwards resonated with me so hard but it was more than that; I felt, as I was reading, like: here is a girl who gets me and that’s going to be the thing here I think – girls (women) of a certain age are going to read it and laugh and tear up and feel understood. It’s raw, it’s incredibly incredibly honest and it’s one of the easiest books I’ve read in a long time; it felt more like sitting down for a catch up with an old friend you haven’t seen for years than anything else; it was effortless. I loved it. And Dolly Alderton can write and she can write about love in all of its guises, even the bad ones.

Dolly takes us with her through her life, from her teenage years to now – through MSN crushes and drunken university exploits, through one night stands and a fixation on being The Party Girl, through bad relationships with men and amazing friendships with incredible women, through feeling sometimes like she was on the outside – especially as her best friend got engaged – as everybody started to move out and move on. It’s a no holds barred story of what it’s like to live and love in the 2000’s and it’s fabulous. It’s funny, it’s truthful, it’s clever and insightful and it is full of little things that make you think ‘oh, me too’ and ‘yes thank you exactly that’ and ‘what do you mean if I press shift and F3 it makes something all capitals or not? Mindblown.’

It’s a gem of a book this one, an absolute gem and it both got me and got to me so that as it came to a close I felt moved, with a lump in my throat, not because it was sad but because I felt…I don’t know, somehow exposed and connected. It was a weird and unexpected rush of emotion and I was entirely unprepared for it.

More than anything it made me grateful for my own Farly who feels like the other half of me, and grateful for the handful of girlfriends I have who whilst all wildly different all bring out the best in me in their own special ways and grateful for the guy who calls me late at night because I have period pain and I want to hear his voice. It reminded me of everything I know about love. It reminded me of forgotten nights out and the carelessness of youth – of drinking too much and sleeping too much and going out at 11pm on a Wednesday night just because we could, of broken hearts and side-aching laughter and belonging.

Also the lists – the lists scattered throughout the book of what Dolly knew about love at a certain age. They made me laugh in recognition, they made me want to high five her, they made me want to climb inside the book and be friends with this sparking intelligent insightful woman, and also a little bit ask her to please, please get out of my head.

I could go on about this for all of time, I could quote passages at you to the point I had infringed upon several copyright laws, but here’s the crux of the matter: I fucking LOVED this book guys. & I think you will too. Be prepared in fact, for me to be shoving this book at you and demanding that you read it, please read it, because you should. (This is one of those, Helen, that I would have snuck out of my room and into your room to leave on your bed.)

It's out now so go, get yourself a copy.


Here are (a few of my very many) my best bits.


I didn’t fall in love; love fell on me. Like a ton of bricks from a great height.


^^ This, though. Just, this.

We have never properly rowed unless steaming drunk on a night out. We have never lied to each other. In over fifteen years I have never gone more than a few hours without thinking about her. I only make sense with her there to act as my foil and vice versa. Without the love of Farly, I am just a heap of frayed and half-finished thoughts; of blood and skin and muscle and bone and unachievable dreams and a stack of shit teenage poetry under her bed…..She knows where to find everything in me and I know where all her stuff is too. She is, in short, my best friend.

: :

I thought of how excited I always am to tell her about a good piece of news or get her view when a crisis happens; how she’s still my favourite person to go dancing with. How her value increased the more history we shared together, like a beautiful precious work of art hanging in my living room.

: :

We marvel at a nectarine sunset over the M25 or the smell of a baby’s head or the efficiency of flat-pack furniture, even though we know that everyone we love will cease to exist one day. I don’t know how we do it.

: :

You probably don’t have a wheat intolerance, you’re just not eating wheat in a normal sized portion. 90-100g of pasta or two slices of bread. Everyone feels weird after eating a whole pack of Hovis. You’d feel weird after earing an entire watermelon too.

: :

Sex, really, really does get better with age. If it keeps improving like it has done so far, I’ll be in a state of constant coitus aged ninety. There will be no point in doing anything else. Apart from maybe pausing in the afternoon to eat a Bakewell Slice.

: :

To lower your heart rate and drift off on nights where sleep feels impossible, dream of all the adventures that lie ahead of you and the distances you’ve travelled so far. Wrap your arms tightly around your body and, as you hold yourself, hold this one thought in your head: I’ve got you.

I had never heard of Dolly Alderton before, I am a generation older than her (and not nearly as brave as she is), but I loved reading her story and nevertheless found much to identify with in this funny and frank memoir.

All the hype about this book is justified. It is funny, well written and surprisingly touching in places. All in all, it is a fabulous celebration of young womanhood.

Many thanks to Ms Alderton, to Penguin, and to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review it.

I’m somewhat at a loss: I can’t say I particularly liked this book, but then it probably isn’t aimed at me, but at much younger people. Dolly Alderton is a 29-year-old magazine writer, most famous for being the dating columnist on the Sunday Times. This is her memoir or autobiography. I imagine people in her age group will find plenty of things to recognize and enjoy, and plainly I didn’t. I thought she portrayed herself as fairly horrible, and something of a nightmare to be around. She had a huge drinking problem in her 20s, and some other issues.
Some of the memories I have are joyful, some of them are sad, and that was the reality. Sometimes I danced with a grin on my face until dawn in a circle of my closest friends, sometimes I fell over on the street running for the nightbus in the rain and lay on the wet pavement for far longer than I should have.
I think the point of the book is that she has learned from what happened to her, and is wiser now. Well, yes, I should hope so. The book comes with a lot of raves, advance praise, so I don’t have to worry about what I say about it – no-one else will.

But it isn’t only my lack of empathy for the narrator that bothers me. The book feels cobbled together and unedited. And why are there extremely pedestrian recipes in it? They add nothing. I also think the writing is uninspired, and could have done with a shakeup. In the passage above, the line ‘all I did was drink and shag’ apparently HAS to be succeeded by the banal and predictable ‘All anyone did was drink and shag’. The list of her friends (my friends are better than your friends) is awful, like the pitch for a rubbish sitcom. ‘And then there was Hicks.’ That sentence structure should be banned. Really don’t want to know about feisty quirky Hicks in a new paragraph.

Anyway. She wrote her book, she got it published. The only parts I did enjoy were some short funny fictional piecees, where she parodied invitations, wedding planning and other parts of modern life. I liked those, so perhaps she will write a wonderful novel later…. But please, no more recipes.


----------

In this narrative the author has given a down-to-earth and realistic approach to life. This was an easy read and you find yourself agreeing to the many things Dolly has encountered during her life. It was lovely to tag along down memory lane as she documents her life until now. This was a lovely page-turner of a book, where you smiled as you shared Dolly’s ups and then you turn a page to her downs and your heart breaks for her. Her story is frank, confessional, raw and honest and a great read. The best part for me was the humour, as Dolly writes about when friends grow up, the expectations for hen dos, baby showers and the like. About the feeling of loss and insecurity when your friends are moving faster than you are. Young women need to read this book. My thanks to Net Galley for my advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

When I started 'Everything I know about love,' I was pretty sure I'd enjoy it, but what I was fundamentally expecting was a light, fun and easy read. In reality, this book is all that and much more. I haven't experienced female friendships as close or as lifelong as the ones Dolly describes and yet the book still resonated - as did her takes on dating and anxiety. I feel like the last paragraph (which made me cry) will stay with me for a long time, and I'll certainly be buying at least one copy to give to a friend as a gift. Highly recommended.

Unfortunately although this was an easy read I didn't really enjoy this book until the end when I could relate to the Author recognising that the main priority is to love yourself.

This book promised to be wildly funny and sometimes heartbreaking, but for me it fell flat.

I thought when I sat down I would be reading a novel, however that's not what this book is and maybe if I had paid more attention to the blurb I would have realised that, and maybe just maybe I would have enjoyed this more. This isn't a novel, but it is a collection of stories from Aldertons life, detailing how she would party with friends, get ridiculously drunk/stoned and snog boys.

A memoir of love, dating and friends. Dolly Alderton takes her through the struggles, the ups, the downs and the craziness of growing up.

This was an interesting and often very funny read. A couple of times I got a little confused with some of the entries but it was all interesting. I loved all the different forms of writing from recipes, lists and messages. The ending was full of real advice that I agreed with on many counts. Plus I loved the early memories of internet use, so true.

I love Dolly she's her real and completely honest. She's gone through many changes and I've laughed and cried with her.

This was a funny yet sometimes heart breaking read. It's very honest and offers real advice.

I just finished reading Everything I Know about Love by Dolly Alderton. And by just finished, I mean I swiped the last page within the kindle for iPad app I was using and pulled out my laptop to write this on a flight home from Lanzarote.

Book reviews are not really my thing. I love books, I recommend books, I buy my best friends books (and I will pre-order Everything I Know About Love for two of them as soon as I get off this flight) but I don’t tend to analyse books for review. Depending on the time, the place, my mood, I get something totally different out of a book than if I had picked it up a week or a month later – and find that my recollection of the books content is entirely subjective and not helpful.

But I really want you to read Everything I Know About Love so I’m making an exception and telling you why!
So where am I right now? I’m 26, I’m sober, I moved back to rural Norfolk after 7 years in London and I am single. Last week I had an internal melt down as a friend messaged me about her new boyfriend; she’s been married, divorced and now has new boyfriend since I last had a serious relationship. This is my own neurosis’ making me upset, nothing to do with said friend (and I am happy for her, I really am), but the reaction was still there.

I have over done *self-improvement* books recently and so on holiday I picked up Dolly’s Everything I Know About Love. I had a pre-copy, which had been downloaded on my kindle for a while but I had felt unable to read anything with love in the title – it’s safe to say I picked it up at exactly the right time. Testament to the brilliance of this book, I’ve whizzed through it in less than three days. This isn’t really a book about romantic love, Dolly retraces her relationships with men but it is her female friendships lead the narrative.

If you’ve ever listened to The High Low Podcast (or it’s predecessor PanDolly), or read any of Dolly’s journalism in magazines like The Sunday Times Style, Red or Grazia, you’ll recognise her down to earth, say-what-she-thinks style throughout Everything I Know About Love.

You’ll get to know Dolly and her friends; Farley, Belle, India, and the intricacies and imperfectness of their relationships could well be those of your (my) own circle of friends. The stories of break-up’s and make-up’s, of friends coupling up with new boyfriends and the growing up and out of house shares makes for a very comforting read.

Why you should read Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton if you are single
Dolly’s stories of past relationships, flings and one night stands felt very familiar. I found comfort as I read through the pages and often found myself nodding “me too”.

The chapter on a romantic fling that happened almost entirely via shared texts and phone calls had me gripped. The build-up of a relationship dream, created almost entirely via virtual communication is something that I (and many of my friends) have experienced whilst single in our twenties. It is the familiar tale of Bumble dates, Tinder romances and perfect strangers that become so much more in our heads.

“Friends exchanged similarly embarrassing stories to make me feel better, tales of being tricked into false intimacy with strangers.” – Dolly Alderton, Everything I Know About Love

Sound familiar? It certainly is to me, and lead me to question how often I get wrapped up in an idea of a romance rather than the reality of the situation.

Why you should read Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton if you are in, or thinking about, therapy
Dolly’s frankness about her therapy journey is much needed. If you are in therapy, or have concerns about going to therapy, then please read her book.

I’ve been in continuous therapy for the last 9 months (currently on a break as my therapist is on maternity) and Dolly puts into words so much of what I have discovered and felt in therapy but have been unable to verbalise.

“The big myth about therapy is that it’s all about pointing the blame at other people; but as the weeks passed, I found the opposite to be true… Eleanor rarely let me pass the accountability on to someone else and always forced me to question what I had done to end up in a particularly bad situation, which is why I always dreaded our sessions.” – Dolly Alderton, Everything I Know About Love

Therapy has had a big part to play in my life changing over the last year, and of my continued sobriety and faith in myself. It is not something to be ashamed of and regular therapy can be a lifeline if you struggle with anxiety, depression or have experienced traumatic life events. Dolly put’s it better than me: “her true form started to take shape in front of me. A woman who was on my side.”

—————————–

I’m so glad that I picked this book up when I did, and I’m grateful that Dolly was brave enough to write it
The love that Dolly has learnt about from her friendships lead me to reflect on the strong friendships within my own life, and for that I am very grateful. Her realisation that she can maintain relationships, as her twenty-year friendship is still going strong and has grown deeper with age, nudged me to recognise this as my own reality.

“All this time I had been led to believe that my value in a relationship was my sexuality, which is why I always behaved like a sort of cartoon nymphomaniac. I hadn’t ever thought that a man could love me in the same way my friends love me; that I could love a man with the same care and commitment I love them.” – Dolly Alderton, Everything I Know About Love

Buy it for yourself, buy it for your sister, and buy it for each and every one of your girlfriends when they struggle with being single.



Final note: Dolly isn’t sober, so I wouldn’t read this if you are in very early sobriety and find tales of drinking triggering. She talks about her own struggles with alcohol and how she has cut down as she’s grown older and learnt more about herself.

Everything I Know About Love is one of those books that completely drew me in because, being almost the same age as Dolly, I remember these things affecting me as I grew up - from MSN to the growing popularity in online dating, and everything else that so affected us 'millennials' when growing up.

I have to be honest, I wasn't really aware of Dolly Alderton before reading this, so I was coming at it as a rather ignorant reader, but turns out you in no way need to know background info the enjoy this. Sure, people who know of her or have read her column/ listened to her podcast might enjoy it even more as they can find out more about her, but it's not at all essential to the enjoyment!

The observations about life are interesting and fun to reads about, and Dolly has an engaging and very frank way of writing - she's honest about her life and mistakes, and you feel that you're getting to know her. It made a lovely break from the many crime novels I've been reading recently.

Dolly's writing is incredibly easy to read, humorous without being too 'try hard' and it contains lots of feel good messages, again without trying too hard to be a 'feel good' or 'preachy' book. There are highs and lows, dark and happy moments, and lots of entertaining situations. I raced through this and would definitely recommend this.

This was a heartwarming, TOTALLY relatable, hilarious, touching - basically a complete collercoaster of a read. You feel like you've known Dolly for years, and her complete honesty is really refreshing.

“Everything I Know About Love” is a memoir by ex-Sunday Times dating columnist Dolly Alderton who is also the co-presenter of the excellent pop culture podcast “The High Low”. This book explores her experience of love in a very intricate and visionary way, a way in which we can all relate to. A problem I feel is rarely addressed is the legitimacy of online intimacy and building that from online conversations such as MSN messenger in our teenage years to chatting to people on Facebook however this book explores that perfectly by telling real stories, the bond that can be created through texting and messaging. This is a real issue for millennials and is captured perfectly. The book balances on a fine line between the raucous flamboyance of being young and feeling liberated to fragile insecurities. There are a lot of funny stories in this novel and they are to be enjoyed and devoured but the book’s finest moments do come when the stories are more exposed. Its small moments such as realising the reality of a person don’t quite match up to expectation but then it’s beyond that when the power of real relationships conquers all.
This is a novel about the anatomy of love as a twenty something, which makes us treasure our own memories and the people we love.
Love wins but it’s the love between friends that champions the novel. The stories of when friends have to be there for one another through tragedies big and small, are devastatingly heartfelt and are what stand out in this novel.

The final book I read this month was my favourite by far. Dolly Alderton is a journalist and writer whose work I have loved for years, so when I heard she had written a memoir all about love, I knew I would adore it. I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advanced copy and devoured it in a matter of days. This book is so beautifully written – Dolly has a talent for writing in a way that makes you feel every single emotion she describes so viscerally. I laughed out loud reading it, and I sobbed too. But more than anything, I finished this book feeling full of love – for my family, for my husband, and for the friends I’ve been lucky enough to grow up alongside. If you read only one thing in February, make it Everything I Know About Love.

http://www.sophiecliff.com/2018/01/31/book-review-january-2018/

I have struggled to put into words just how amazing this book is. I read it all in one day, crying, laughing out loud and nodding along to some of Dolly's nostalgic memories. It is so beautifully written and I particularly loved her 'Life Lessons'. at different ages. I can guarantee this will be a book that you will pass on to your friends with pages turned down on the bits that you loved the most. I'm keeping my copy safe for when my sister turns 18.

Dolly's colourful memoir goes over some of her highs and lows, including cutting her hair into a mohawk because a boy said it would suit her to drunkenly getting in a cab all the way down the motorway to meet a man. She shares stories about growing up rushing home to be on MSN, men, being alone in NYC, Tinder, one disastrous New Years Eve party, renting and living with her best friends, Rod Stewart and lots more.

However, it's the tales of Dolly's friendships and her love for her friends that make this book so heartwarming - some parts are hilarious, others genuinely lump-in-the-throat sad. It makes you want to bear-hug all of your friends tightly.

I cannot recommend this book enough.

Perfect for: Nostalgic Twenty-somethings looking for relatable tales about growing up and growing older, who may be feeling a bit 'bleurgh', at a loss with dating politics in 2018
Do: Cook Dolly's Mac & Cheese! Then pass the book on to all the women in your life.
Don't: Ever think you're not enough. You are!

Everything I know about love had me laughing out loud from the first page. I found myself reliving my obsession with msn messenger and look back at it now fondly. This book is full of funny stories, recipes and little bits of information you never knew you needed to know, it’s unapologetic, hugely funny, sad and honest. Some have described Everything I know about love as the next Bridget Jones but I actually think it’s better. I throughly enjoyed reading it.