Member Reviews
I loved this book! I love Barbara’s writing! Highly recommend
Absolutely eye opening and detailed account of OCD that is accelerated postpartum, and it’s effect on a family in the aftermath. I was intrigued to read about Katie’s OCD, and the toll it took on her role as a mother and a wife. From the outset, you learned about the choices a father made to protect his baby from a potentially harmful mother. Eventually Katie and Maisie’s paths cross again, years later, and that’s when the story really gets good. I appreciated the many points of view from multiple character’s perspectives. It added to the story rather than detract from it, and it kept the story moving and engaged the reader. An overall 3 1/2 to 4 Star Read. Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and author for the opportunity to read this book.
We can't always live up to our promises, life intrudes.
Katie Mack and her ex husband made a promise nine years ago. To protect their daughter at all costs. Katie had a severe breakdown after the birth of her daughter Maise. Katie lived in fear of hurting the one she loved the most. Her husband Callum agreed and was awarded all paternal rights. Katie never saw her daughter again. Their marriage made up of Katie running and her husband not facing the truth of the pain that gripped both of them.
The voices in her head she later learned was mental illness known as OCD. Katie learned to deal with her OCD thru art and with the support of her sister and her art mentor, she learned to face OCD head on. "A thought is just a thought and it has no power"..a mantra Katie used when the voices in head became loud and her anxiety increased.
Callum's world was his daughter Maise and after the struggles with his ex-wife, he had the support of his best friend Jake. Jake and Callum raised Maise to be a caring and bright girl. Having anxiety about starting middle school and the recent marriage of her father and the upcoming baby, Maise meets an artist that bases her art in fear. When Katie and Maise meet, Maise finds someone who understands her and Katie breaks the promise of nine years ago to keep her daughter safe.
With the build up of protecting her daughter nine years ago and the promise broken, they must come to terms of what OCD really is. Callum has his own anxieties that he must face before he can put his own daughter first.
You will learn some facts OCD in this captivating novel of a mother and daughter who come together to face their fears. OCD wants proof and certainty. That is the perfection of all things to go smooth. OCD must be faced head on with the support of family. OCD must be recognized for what it really is. All this comes to play in the family and friends of Katie and Callum. It gives OCD a voice and face!
A Special Thank You to Lake Union Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
Barbara Claypole White writes a glaring, touching, raw book that takes a look into OCD mental illness that most of us have never heard of. I knew about hand washing and repetitive things people were driven to do, even to the point of not being able to leave their homes. But never have I heard of Harm OCD...such severe OCD where you fear you will do harm to a loved one. Her descriptive writing of the struggles the main characters go through to deal with their mental illnesse, almost made me anxious they felt so real! I applaud the way she handled such a troubling topic, while leading us to learn about this side of mental illness.
The writing was so very well done and I am in love with all the characters in this book! Such strong fighters who all have a common goal in mind....helping a young girl learn to conquer her OCD. Also the lessons of communication and forgiveness ......not just forgiveness toward others, but toward ourselves was an important lesson to me.I would give this book a ten if I could!!!
The Promise Between Us by Barbara Claypole White
Brief Summary: Told from the viewpoints of five characters; this novel explores the impact of obsessive-compulsive disorder(OCD) on a person and their loved ones. Katie left her young daughter and husband behind to keep them safe from her mental illness until she is accidentally reunited with her daughter unbeknownst to her through her art program. As a clinical psychologist, I was eager and interested to read this novel.
Highlights: This novel offers a realistic impact of OCD on a person’s ability to function and maintain interpersonal relationships. The author has personal experience with OCD and seeks not only to educate but also to destroy stereotypes that OCD is merely compulsive hand washing. She accurately portrays how OCD manifests as the anxiety disorder it is. I also appreciated that she portrays how an individual may cope with OCD through cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. I also loved how Katie and Ben’s relationship developed.
Explanation of Rating 4/5 This novel kept me engaged and interested, though it took me a month to finish it.
Psychology Factors: I really liked how she showed Katie’s skills to cope with OCD and can certainly appreciate her barriers to access mental health care. My biggest criticism is that it is highly unusual for an individual to master the skills to manage their OCD voice without the help of a mental health professional. Those thoughts or as Katie called it the voice are incredibly hard to counter and most individuals are not able to learn to do so on their own. It is very important that despite Katie’s progress and accomplishments; she did return to a psychologist at the end of the novel and was a very strong advocate of her daughter seeing a mental health professional.
Favorite Quotes: A thought is just a thought.” If everyone realized this, psychologists may be out of business!
This is a great read for book clubs, individuals with mental illness and those who love them! This was also an enjoyable read as a psychologist and I especially recommend this for psychology students learning therapy skills for themselves.
Thank you to Net Galley and Lake Union Publishing for an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review
The Promise Between Us by Barbara Claypole White tells the story of a new mother, Katie, who is battling Harm OCD. At the time, she doesn’t understand the invasive thoughts that are trying to control her mind. Due to the fear that she might be capable of harming her baby girl, Maisie, she flees...leaving her husband & daughter behind. Flash forward to 9 years later when a chance encounter brings her face to face with her daughter & the realization that her OCD might be hereditary. Now, Katie must figure out how to get Maisie the help that she needs without causing their lives to spiral out of control.
I found this book to be incredibly informative. I didn’t know about the various sub categories of OCD. I also didn’t know how life altering it can be. As I was reading about Katie’s struggles, I could relate a bit. I think we all can get caught up in our thoughts sometimes. Personally, I definitely run through “what if” scenarios. My heart went out to Katie, especially when she worried about hurting Maisie. I don’t want to give too much of the book away. It’s a good story & I enjoyed it. I definitely recommend it.
Thank you Barbara Claypole White, Lake Union Publishing & NetGalley for the arc. I appreciated the opportunity to read & review this book.
This was my first book by Barbara Claypole White and what an incredible introduction to this author. I was almost dumbfounded by all the layers of emotion throughout this story. The characters were beautifully developed and while a lot of dialogue might be a turnoff for some readers, I really enjoyed that aspect. I really know nothing about the character Kate's disorder or how complex it really is. This story did a wonderful job describing how it touched all the characters lives so uniquely.
This journey is told from different points of view which made the story so much richer and less one-dimensional. I would highly recommend this book for those looking for a deep and powerful story with incredibly developed characters. Looking forward to reading more from this author in the future. Thank you, NetGalley for a fabulous read.
Fascinating and horrifying account of what it is like to live with OCD, specifically Harm OCD, interwoven into a strong plot with interesting characters. At times this read was a bit slow but then it would pick up and get very exciting. I cared about the characters and marveled at their resilience. Each character had many flaws, just like we all do, which made the story very believable. In addition to educating the reader about a specific type of mental illness the book also offers just a really good story with lots of intrigue, reminding me of a Jodi Picoult book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an early release of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Before reading this novel, my knowledge of obsessive-compulsive disorder was limited to excessive hand washing and repeatedly checking to make sure the door is locked. I now have a better understanding of this condition which can affect a person in so many different ways and can range from mild to debilitating. I was a bit put off by the author's style of writing as I started reading this book. Then I realized it was actually helping me get a feel for the intrusive thought patterns of an OCD sufferer. I prefer reading a novel such as this over a non-fiction book on the same subject. Getting involved with the characters and an interesting storyline makes it much more relatable. I especially enjoyed the main character's daughter, affectionately referred to as 'Mazing Maisie. This is the first book I have read by Barbara Claypole White. Even though I received it from NetGalley to review, I had already planned to purchase it. I also have some of her other titles in my TBR stash which I now intend to read in the near future.
It's no secret I'm a huge fan of Barbara Claypole White's work. I simply adore her writing, and love that she incorporates the importance of mental illness into her character's lives.
Join me as we meet Katie. Katie is a new mom who cannot stop the intrusive thoughts running through her head. She's afraid she's going to hurt her baby girl. She's horrified by the fears, and cannot describe them. She needs help. What she has, though, is a husband who is terrified. Of what she's saying. Of how she's saying it. Because of this - this miscommunication - this lack of understanding - Katie leaves her daughter Maisie's life in the very early days.
We later learn that there is so so much more to what has happened - and is now happening between these two. We also get to meet their daughter.
Maisie.
What can I say about Maisie? So so much. And not nearly enough.
Please head to my blog for my full review:
http://www.goodgirlgoneredneck.com/2018/02/the-promise-between-us-barbara-claypole-white.html
Sometimes the most selfless thing you can do for the people you love most... is to leave.
Katie Mack had a family once—her husband Cal and a beautiful baby daughter named Maisie whom she loved more than anything in this world. Katie was terrified she would somehow harm Maisie, and her mind plagued her with horrifying images of the many ways it could happen. When she finally admitted these frightening thoughts to her husband, he turned away from her. Distraught, Katie did the only thing she could to keep her beloved daughter safe... she left, and later gave up her parental rights to Maisie.
Over time, Katie learned how to cope with the obsessive-compulsive disorder that destroyed her family. Many years later, a chance meeting allowed Katie to spend time with Maisie. Her joy turned to heartache when she recognized Maisie displaying signs of obsessive-compulsive behaviors. She knows she's the best person to help Maisie... if her ex-husband will allow her to do so.
I was completely blown away by The Promise Between Us. Not only is it an emotional story with characters you can't help but become deeply invested in, it also imparts knowledge about an illness that is far more complex than I ever realized it could be, with several different types of the disorder, most of which I knew nothing about. One of Katie's methods for dealing with her intrusive thoughts is to remind herself that thoughts are only thoughts, and can't hurt her. She faced her fears head-on when possible—for example, she had a fear of fire when Maisie was a baby, so she learned how to weld, and she has a calming mantra she repeated to herself throughout the book: "I control fire. I am strong." Katie is definitely a character with tremendous strength of will, and I found her to be quite admirable.
Simply put, this is a beautiful story. Told through several points of view—Katie, Maisie, Cal (Maisie's father), Lilah (Maisie's stepmother), and Jake (Cal's best friend and Maisie's honorary Uncle)—you get a complete picture of the most important people in Maisie's life and what motivates their actions. Cal, Jake, and Lilah's portions add layers of depth to an already complex story and making it even more poignant.
This is the first time I've read Barbara Claypole White, but it certainly won't be the last.
Highly recommend this book... this is one you definitely will want to read!
I found this story a struggle, not because of the subject matter but because I felt there was so much dialogue that my eyes were playing ping pong on my Kindle page and it didn't hold my attention, so perhaps Barbara Claypole White's writing style just isn't for me. That said, it was insightful if you are interested in OCD and mental illness. Grateful to NetGalley for the read in exchange for an honest review.
I have become a fan of Barbara Claypole White! Her books are so wept written, and she always gives you something to think about. The Promise Between Us certainly did teach me a lot about O.O.D. and how it affects families and relationships.
Barbara’s characters are unique and well-developed. Barbara is a Brit with wit which always comes out in her stories. She is a storyteller with wonder dialogue between characters and vocabulary!
Her book The Promise Between Us Meets all my requirements: I learn something, it is a good story, it has great characters, it has great dialogue, and it makes me laugh.
I received this book from NetGalley for a honest review, but I also bought a copy.
The Promise Between Us by Barbara Claypole White is one of the most realistic views of mental illness that I have read thus far in my life. Katie is a mother who disappears after intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD wreak havoc on her relationship with her baby daughter and her husband. Nine years later, she's thrust back into the world she left behind, and runs into the daughter that she ran away from all those years ago. This book is a raw and emotional peek into all of the facets of motherhood, mental illness, and forgiveness.
Katie is a metal worker, who uses her art to keep her OCD under control, when she's invited to a show in the town she left almost ten years ago, she is hesitant. She really doesn't want to dig up old memories, especially now that she's finally trying to get her life back in order. Eventually, though, she does end up going to the show, but she can't help but start to feel the familiar pull of her mental issues. Katie promised her ex husband that she'd never return, she'd never seek out Maisie, the daughter she left behind, and most of all, she would change her name and pretend she was dead. That is until the mother and daughter unite, and Katie can't help but see so much of herself in her little girl, including the start of mental issues.
Should she tell Maisie who she is, risking losing her daughter once again? Or should she keep her secret and try to help Maisie over come the obstacles before her, as best as she can. A mothers love is shown and tested in this heartbreaking story.
First, I want to say that if you are sensitive to mental health issues in books, then you may want to stay away from this. Even though I have my depression and anxiety under control, the parts of this book where Katie speaks of her mental illness, and shows what goes on inside her head, was very triggering for me, I had to set the book down several times to finish it. Even though it was a struggle, the fact that it was so real made the book even more enjoyable to read. This story was sad, gut-wrenching, and full of surprises. I really enjoyed reading this, and I think that the author has a wonderful voice. Her characters are so dynamic, rich, and full of life. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars, a real winner.
I love Barbara Claypole White’s novels. Mental illness is very close to my reality and Barbara is able to deal with this human condition in her novels without sounding like a “downer.” It’s all about real life, and she creates so many incredible compelling characters facing challenges and adversity, but in such a humane manner. They don’t draw attention to themselves, but rather go about life as anyone would and does. Her new novel, THE PROMISE OF US (LakeUnionPublishing) once again, does not disappoint.
Metal artist, Katie Mack is living a lie. Nine years ago she ran away from her family in Raleigh, North Carolina, consumed by the irrational fear that she would harm Maisie, her newborn daughter. Over time she’s come to grips with the mental illness that nearly destroyed her, and now funnels her pain into her art. Despite longing for Maisie, Katie honors an agreement with the husband she left behind—to change her name and never return.
But when she and Maisie accidentally reunite, Katie can’t ignore the familiarity of her child’s compulsive behavior. Worse, Maisie worries obsessively about bad things happening to her pregnant stepmom. Katie has the power to help, but can she reconnect with the family she abandoned?
To protect Maisie, Katie must face the fears that drove her from home, accept the possibility of love, and risk exposing her heart-wrenching secret.
Family secrets, lies and insurmountable challenges. All the elements from another bestseller from bestselling author, Barbara Claypole White.
*****
About Barbara Claypole White
Barbara Claypole White creates hopeful family drama with a healthy dose of mental illness. Originally from England, she writes and gardens in the forests of North Carolina where she lives with her beloved OCD family. Her novels include The Unfinished Garden, The In-Between Hour, The Perfect Son, and Echoes of Family. The Promise Between Us, a story of redemption, sacrifice, and OCD, has a publication date of January 16th, 2018. She is also an OCD Advocate for the A2A Alliance, a nonprofit group that promotes advocacy over adversity. To connect with Barbara, please visit www.barbaraclaypolewhite.com, or follow her on Facebook.
*****
I got to meet Barbara in October at the Women’s Fiction Writers Association retreat – what a delightful woman. I could have chatted over a cuppa for hours, but alas …..
We were able to recently ask her some questions about writing and what she hopes readers get from her unique stories.
CINDY: You say you write “Hopeful family dramas with a healthy dose of mental illness.” Please elaborate.
BARBARA: My original tagline was “love stories about damaged people,” because I wanted to create darkly tortured romantic heroes. (My favorite hero ever is Mr. Rochester.) All of my novels contain a romantic element, but by the third one, THE PERFECT SON, it was obvious I was writing about the impact of invisible disabilities on families. Mental illness is hardly a sexy topic, so I decided to create a new tagline that combined my quirky voice with my favorite theme: hope. Happy endings aren’t a given when you live in the trenches with mental illness, as my family does, but clinging to the belief that bad days end makes a difference. You’ve got to have hope. Truckloads and truckloads of hope.
CINDY: Your families are in some sort of “crisis” (or perhaps, experiencing real life), your thoughts on the family unit.
BARBARA: I create ordinary men and women who need extraordinary courage to make it through their mundane, everyday lives. Then I throw lots of bad stuff their way and see what happens. High maintenance families have high divorce rates; they struggle to keep the structure, routine, and balance that allows them to function within the parameters of special needs. And yet life is about the unexpected, the uncertain, the unpredictable. The true test for any family is whether loved ones pull together or apart in a crisis. My family has always been an emotionally supportive team. I love that about us, and I find it inspiring.
CINDY: Do you have to suffer from some form of mental illness to write about it? Your research.
BARBARA: My fiction grew organically out of my first hero, James Nealy. James came from my darkest fear as a mother: What if, when my young son grew up, no one could see beyond his anxious and obsessive behavior (OCD) to love him for the incredible person he is? I wanted to create a romantic hero who battled OCD; I did. I owe James everything. He pushed me to go deeper and darker and to keep finding inspiration in my own life. For example, when an aging family member was trapped in psychotic episodes, I had a story idea that became THE IN-BETWEEN HOUR; my desire to write about ADHD and Tourette’s—THE PERFECT SON—came from a friend who was diagnosed with both at an early age; and even though I’ve always been fascinated by bipolar disorder, it wasn’t until two people close to me were diagnosed that I started researching ECHOES OF FAMILY. However, I’m not someone who believes you can only ‘write what you know,’ which means the answer to your question is no.
The key to any good story is research, and the foundation for my characters comes from one-on-one interviews I conduct with people who are living the experiences I want to write about. As a history major, I’m a research nut, so I also read memoirs and nonfiction around my subject, research online, fact check with mental health professionals, etc. Then I put that research aside to find the character behind the label. As my son used to say, “I am not my disorder.” I want readers to see my characters as richer than a diagnosis of mental illness. Faulty brain chemistry is only part of someone’s mental make-up: personality, education, religion, genetics, upbringing, economic status, and life experiences all play their roles.
CINDY: What do you hope your readers take away/learn/experience by reading your novels?
BARBARA: I’m passionate about chipping away at the stereotypes, stigma, and shame of mental illness, especially anxiety disorders. I hope that THE PROMISE BETWEEN US makes a small difference in how people approach and understand anxiety and OCD. OCD is a chronic, potentially fatal illness that demands constant management in the same way as diabetes. No one makes jokes about diabetes; people joke about ‘being OCD’ all the time. There’s no cure for OCD. An allergy to life, it creates irrational fear in the absence of true threat, and you work hard to reprocess the unwanted, intrusive thoughts that can cripple you. Take it from someone who lives with this monster 24/7: it’s not about the anal reorganization of your sock drawer.
But the bottom line? I want to entertain. I hope my readers turn the last page and think, “I really enjoyed hanging out with those characters. I wonder what happens to them next?” When each of my novels ends, a new story is beginning. My characters have been tested, they’ve grown, and they’re ready to tackle more of life’s speed bumps—in their own, deeply flawed ways. For me, it’s all about my characters. I love them and hope my readers do, too.
CINDY: Thank you so much for your time.
Barbara’s new novel, THE PROMISE BETWEEN US and all of her novels are available in a store near you and on-line. Just check the bottom links
Purchase Links
Amazon | Barnes & Noble
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Thanks to Barbara, TLC Book Tours and Lake Union Publishing we’re able to giveaway one copy of THE PROMISE BETWEEN US. Just tell us your experience with mental illness. We’ll announce a winner soon. Good luck!
Thank you again to BARBARA CLAYPOLE WHITE for generously sharing her time.
Thank you for a wonderful heart wrenching story of OCD and a mother leaving her small child because of the illness. It is eye opening the struggle they face. A tale of a mother’s love for her only child, her struggles, her fears and finally redemption. I absolutely love the book. Thank you Barbara Claypole White.
Wow!!
Not sure I can truly express how brilliantly written this book is.
This book tells the story of OCD (as seen through the experience of Katie and her family.) And how it can affect not just the sufferer but their family too.
I can honestly recommend reading this.
If you do not love Maisie I will be very surprised
This is told from five different perspectives, you have Katie, Cal, Lilah, Jake and Maisie who’s life are all entangled in some way. I love books told by an ensemble cast, especially if they’re executed well and this one was flawless. The character development was incredibly strong and each and every one of them is vividly drawn, the type of characters that you forget are fictional. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to glance up from the book and see Katie standing in my living room, they’re just that realistic.
I knew that OCD is something that the author lives with every single day as her her son and husband both have it, but even if I hadn’t known that I think it’s evident that this is a deeply personal topic for her and one that she is well informed of. She writes about living with OCD both as one who has it AND as a family member in an unflinchingly honest manner that gets you right in the heart. This was such an emotional read and such an eye opening one for me, at times it was hard to read but only because the author writes in such a fearless manner. Motherhood is hard enough for an average woman and reading about Katie’s struggles trying to navigate parenthood and OCD was both heartbreaking and beautiful.
This is one of those books I could discuss for hours, I totally recommend it as a book club pick. The discussion topics are endless and I really can’t imagine anyone not feeling something for these amazing characters.
The Promise Between Us in three words: Brave, Raw and Poignant.
This book is a poignant and heartfelt story of living with OCD and how it affects those we care about. Told in the voices of Katie, Maisie, Callum, Jake and Lilah, this is a beautiful story. Katie had postpartum OCD and left Maisie when she was a baby because of the intrusive thoughts that told her she would harm her child. Fast forward 9 years, she runs into Maisie in a metal artist docent program. This is their story. I learned so much about OCD from this book. I had never realized that it is an anxiety driven illness. I have anxiety disorder and the author described panic attacks to a tee. I felt like I knew these characters and loved how fact was intertwined in a fictional story. The characters are complex and well developed. You will know each and every one of them. You will feel their pain and turmoil. Your heart will go out to them. You will come to understand the levels of OCD and how profoundly it affects people with its intrusive thought processes. This book is so well written and the flow is beautiful. It made me laugh at times and shed a tear at others. It will make you understand this illness though. Barbara Claypole White is a master at taking mental illness and turning it into a beautiful work of fiction. This book will make you think, help you understand and empathize with those who are suffering. I never realized that it could affect children as well as adults. This book opened my eyes. "Healing's painful, but it gets you to the other side." That is my favorite quote. Healing is a painful process, but we must go through the darkness to find the light. I highly recommend this incredibly insightful book. You will learn and you will love. I know that I did. Thank you Barbara, for another beautifully written book. You are my hero.
Barbara Claypole White begins her book about a mother with OCD hitting you strong and hard. It was easy to get wrapped up in Katie's story about her struggle with OCD. At times, reading Katie's internal dialogue made me an anxious mess! I can see how dealing with this first hand would be so very troubling and debilitating at times. I applaud the author's effort in making mental illness and OCD take a front seat in this story and giving people who suffer from OCD a voice. Overall, this book had a great story line. I enjoyed reading about the daily struggle and how the characters overcame this. I liked the love story that was brewing in the background for Katie and Ben. And I especially liked that the story ended on a most positive note, tied with a pretty bow, so to speak. I would recommend this book to others and I look forward to exploring Barbara Claypole White's future and past works. This was the first book I had read of hers. Special thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
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