From the synopsis, I knew going in to Point of Contact that there were parts of this book that were going to gut me and I wasn’t wrong but this story was so poignant and I wouldn’t have missed it despite the tears I shed while reading it.

This book was written in two parts before and after the incident that took the life of Riley Estes while he served in the Army in Afghanistan. Riley’s father was 18 when he was born and they were very close and Riley’s death has about broken him. When Riley’s friend and platoon mate Jesse Byrne shows up at his home, Trevor begins to learn about the man his son had become. Despite a 16 year age difference, these two men bond over their love of Riley, the loss they feel since his death, and over time their bond grows into something more.

This is one of those reviews that is hard to write because I don’t want to give away too much of this story because it is one that you need to read and experience. I will say that the physical relationship between these two men grew over a lot of time and they didn’t go into it lightly. Trevor was really struggling and I believe having Jesse to talk to and work though his feelings saved him. At times I felt for Jesse because he seemed to think he had to be strong for everyone, but he did allow himself some time to grieve and in helping Trevor work though his pain it eased Jesse’s as well.

I love the beauty of their friendship and relationship and I appreciated that the author let us see these men gradually fall in love and experience their relationship over a great deal of time.

If you enjoy a book that really makes you feel, one that is well written with characters who not only have depth but grab your heart then you do not want to miss Point of Contact.

*~~*ARC kindly provided to me for an honest review *~~*

- Review to come

Review originally posted on my blog with added content on Mikku-chan / A world full of words

THIS. WAS. SO. CUTE. I love age gap romances and I thought this was done spectacularly. I need to read more from Hansen, and I hope I do soon.

Ms. Hansen is one of my go-to-authors and this story s one of the reasons why. A well-written and riveting story filled with loss, but love as well.

Point Of Contact is one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. Told from the POVs of Trevor James, who is trying his hardest to cope after his nineteen year old son, Riley, joins the army and Jesse Byrne, Riley’s roommate and best friend. The book follows their story as both men come to terms with a tragic loss and form a connection like no other. Advertised as a m/m romance let me tell you: this book is so much more than the romance in it.

“It was amazing how one man’s life— and death— had changed the course of so many others’, leaving people as adrift as pieces of flotsam on an angry sea.”-Point Of Contact, Melanie Hansen

Point of contact is a very character driven book. The plot is more or less about our characters and their life’s before and after Riley’s death. Trevor comes to terms with Riley in the army and then how he fights through the heartbreak that follows. We also see glimpses of his life before Riley and how he alone took care and raised his only son. Jesse’s POVs feature him in the army for about half of the book. At first Jesse’s POVs were the hardest to read, watching how him and all the soldiers fought and went through hell had my heart in my throat. The author herself has been in the navy so she captured what Jesse and the soldiers felt like perfectly. The scenes really come to life.

When he returns home, Jesse suffers from PTSD and while I can’t talk much about the rep. I felt the rep was very well done. We also see Jesse help another friend who deals with both PTSD and Saviors guilt. Jesse’s storyline is just as heartbreaking as Trevor’s and believe me I rooted so hard for their happy ending. Trevor’s grief ripped me apart. At times I had to close the book and breathe because it triggered memories I don’t want to think about. Both men were so well written and the little romance that does follow was beautiful. I have no other words. They fit so well together.

Overall, Point Of Contact was a fantastic read. I’ve never read a book like it and the author’s writing was fantastic. Her words provoked so many emotions and it was obvious how much work she put into this book. I laughed and cried. The happy ending and epilogue made all the pain worth it because it was wonderful. Highly recommend, but remember to take the trigger warnings seriously.

Melanie Hansen’s novel Point of Contact should come with these directions: arrange your tissues next to your wine glass, open a bottle, and pour… you’re going to need it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much over a story as I did with this one. It is completely and utterly heart-wrenching. Several times I wondered if I could persevere. But persevere I did, and believe me, it was worth every tear.

Reading this one was a process. Between the crushing grief of a parent who loses his child, and a soldier who holds his best friend’s hand and eases him into death, this is a very moving, emotionally-draining story. Some passages were so painful I’d make a deal with myself; if I could just finish the chapter I’d call it a night. But the writing is so enthralling I never stopped reading, and before I knew it I was right back in the thick of it again!

What made this story extra special for me is all the time Hansen spends introducing the characters in the beginning of the book. Seeing Trevor as a secure and successful man makes such a difference in understanding how he copes with tragedy. Likewise, spending time with Riley and his buddies before they head off to Afghanistan, and while they are deployed, adds perspective to their relationships and makes the aftermath much more intense.

Initially I was skeptical of the premise. Melanie Hansen is a new author for me, so I was interested to see how she would develop the relationship between Trevor and Jesse. I did wonder how these two men could come together, support each other through this tragedy, and end up developing romantic feelings for each other. Well, the whole romance aspect of this story is done beautifully.

The relationship develops slowly, after Jesse gets home from Afghanistan. Trevor’s whole world has fallen apart, all his visions of the future are completely shattered by his son’s death. He can’t live, can’t work, his relationship with his fiance crumbles and he’s a total wreck. Jesse reaches out, offering support and asking for the same. As the two men share their memories of Riley they develop a bond, and together they find peace and some closure.

I was impressed with the way Melanie Hansen handles the physical connection, as the men grow closer. It’s never far from Trevor’s thoughts that Jesse is experiencing his first romantic relationship. And he can’t help but second-guess everything. Trevor wonders how this gorgeous and sensitive young man could ever want an old guy like him, and flounders over feelings for his son’s best friend. It feels so genuine, it really worked for me. Their encounters fluctuate between intensely passionate and sweet explorations that fade to black, and are beautifully erotic.

Trevor and Jesse’s honest discussion, that they’d never be together except for Riley’s death, rings true for their characters. It’s a bittersweet pill to swallow as both men work through their feelings and try to be okay with finding happiness together.

The other very moving portion of Point of Contact for me was watching Jesse and his fellow soldiers work through the process of healing as they come home from war. They deal with survivors’ guilt and PTSD, especially when their loved ones can’t handle it and leave them. They need each other’s support now more than ever. To keep moving forward, they recognize that their fallen brother’s didn’t get this opportunity. As Jesse tells them, “‘We owe it to those guys to live our lives in a way that honors theirs.’”

If you’re looking for a highly emotional, beautifully written story that’s heavy on angst, then Point of Contact will be right up your alley. I was impressed with every aspect of Melanie Hansen’s writing and am looking forward to reading more by this talented author.

**I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review**

Is there an option to give a book more than 5 stars? Because this book definitely deserves it!

I have never read anything before by Melanie Hansen but its safe to say she has earned her place amongst my most favourite authors. This was the first book I read after having laser eye surgery and what a beautiful thing to open my new eyes to! I will be honest and say this book made me proper ugly cry (which irritated the new eyes but was so worth it!) and that is something I never do but it was so sad in parts and so beautifully written.

I was sceptical at first because sad stories is something which I would usually avoid, particularly if it happens fairly early on in a book but I am so glad I stuck with it. I fell in love with all three main characters to be honest, especially Riley as he was obviously such a sweetheart who was taken too soon. The fact that we are introduced to him around a year before his death makes it so much harder as a reader to lose him. It honestly made me connect so much more with Trevor and Jesse because as a reader I was able to understand their pain and actually feel their loss.

The only person I really wasn't a fan of was Carl. I felt like he expected Trevor to get over Riley too quickly and when he couldn't, he just acted like an ass and ditched. I get the fact that sometimes things don't workout in a relationship but it just came across as cold that he basically left Trevor when he needed him the most. My opinion of him changed slightly towards the end of the book but in the end he did Trevor a favour as he wouldn't then have had a chance with the amazing Jesse.

This is book is without a doubt a slow burner in terms of romance but I think it was so well done and when we eventually got there it was definitely worth the wait. The fact that they bonded over someone who they both clearly loved very much was so nice and made their relationship more realistic. Also it was lovely to see the characters relationship begin with the intention of friendship and then develop into something more organically.

I liked the fact that although there was romance in this story, I saw it as something which came secondary to to Riley's storyline. Its without a doubt Trevor's situation of losing a child is one in which many military families find themselves in. However it seemed like it was more about the grieving process of losing a loved one and how a beautiful thing came out of something so heartbreaking.

For me the ending was a bittersweet HEA. As amazing as it was that Trevor and Jesse found their happy ending, it was still so sad that it happened through the loss of Riley. The fact that his memory was kept alive throughout the book and obviously in the years that followed was just heartwarming and beautiful. If this book is anything to go by, I can't wait to read more of Hansen's work and see what she has instore for us next.

This was an interesting development of a book for me. I wasn’t sure at first but then I saw why not. Story is believable, this I’m sure has happened in real life more times than we think. Kill in action characters are hard for me to read. So maybe it’s me with the issue. Overall it wasn’t a bad read. I enjoyed the book very much.

The reviews and synopsis for Point of Contact were so phenomenal it was impossible to resist requesting it. My heart was so full of love, and yeah grief but only because I loved Riley, Trevor and Jesse so much. However, all that hurt made their healing so beautiful. As much as I loved their romantic relationship, I also really enjoyed reading Trevor and Jesse as friends. Jesse focused his grief on helping Trevor, which he initially did to honor his best friends memory and then he did it because he cared about Trevor himself. It was just like how Trevor initially spent time with Jesse because it was a tie to a time in Riley’s life when they were apart, but eventually he started to see the beauty in Jesse as someone separate from his son.

Melanie Hansen was able to write Trevor and Jesse’s relationship almost angstless. Their shared grief over Riley brought them closer, and the pitfalls you’d normally anticipate were handled with grace and maturity. Despite their age difference, and the circumstances that surrounded how they met, they had a perfect and healthy relationship.

No matter how much time passes, this story is going to stay with me. This wonderful book had a poignant story, full of heart, and it had three beautiful men that I fell crazy in love with.

Point of Contact by Melanie Hansen should be read with a couple of boxes of tissues. This story tugs at the heartstrings and does not let go. So much love and pain in this story.
Riley, we meet him we know him get to love him, and his best friend Jesse. Taking in a war zone and planning a future.
We meet Riley’s dad and get his love and pain too. All the emotions this drags up makes you so wrapped up in the characters and the love.
This is a read you need some time alone with. It is a lot to process and feels. But so worth reading. Seriously if you love a good tear jerker as much as I do this is a must-read. You won’t be able to forget this book I know I won’t.



Five Shooting Stars and Recommended Read

Synopsis:

Trevor has been a single dad since he was a teenager. He lives for his son, and then his son is killed in combat. No one around him understands what he is going through, and Trevor ends up losing his fiance, his clients, and his way.
When one of his son's brothers-in-arms shows up several months after his son was killed with some personal effects, Trevor is eager to hang on to anything in connection with his son. So even though his only previous interaction with Jesse had Jesse acting like a completely homophobic jerk, Trevor is eager to be around someone who was close to his son in the months before his death.
As Jesse and Trevor work through their grief, separately and together, they become closer.

What I liked: that every character went through the grieving process in their own way. And that people around them didn't necessarily understand that grief is a personal thing. The growth in relationship between Jesse and Trevor, from grief survivors to friends to lovers felt real and organic, and with what they came to mean to one another, believable.
The story is split in to two parts: before the death and after the death. From the beginning, we see both the POV of Trevor and Jesse (and as such, learn that Jesse is not homophobic, but in the closet and jealous of Trevor's easy relationship with his fiance.) The friendship between Jesse and Riley grows to the point that it is completely believable that Jesse would mourn the loss of his best friend, on top of a brother-in-arms.
I was prepared for a sob fest, especially since the precis says exactly what the story is about. I wasn't prepared for how realistic the grieving process felt, and was basically a sobbing mess from the death on. There were definitely uplifting moments, and good moments, as is the norm during grieving, but every time either Trevor or Jesse felt that loss as keenly as they did when it first happened, I was drawn in again. The grief never really goes away, just fades to the background as both Jesse and Trevor find a way to deal with their loss, and a way to deal with the guilt of moving on and living.

What I didn't like: my one little niggle is that Jesse and Trevor and Riley were such strong characters that the other secondary characters felt a little overshadowed and almost unnecessary, even though a couple of them did have a different road through the same grief.

Overall impression: the writing was so strong and clear and the characters of Jesse and Trevor and Riley were so vibrant. This felt like a personal story, one that had really happened, and I was completely drawn in for the ride. I will definitely be reading more of this author's writing.

*I received a copy through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

5+++ Stars!

I’m going to have to go ahead and say Point of Contact is the best book I’ve read in 2018. I’ve mentioned book hangovers before and generally, I suffer one or two maybe three serious ones a year. The kind that have a story sitting with you for days maybe weeks after finishing. POC will definitely be one of these books. I can not stop thinking about Trevor, Jesse and, of course, Riley. Their story broke my heart many times over and then even as I read the beautifully happy ending, I sobbed because it broke my heart in a completely different way.

What is it that I loved so much about this story? It’s such a realistic look at the grief a parent feels after the death of their child. Trevor was completely devastated, his entire life started to unravel and the grief consumed him. This wasn’t sugar coated or brushed over. We got to see it, we got to feel it. And let me say that as a parent I empathized with what he was experiencing. I couldn’t imagine and honestly, don’t want to imagine his pain.

I really loved the romance in this story. It seemed to happen so naturally and developed over time. They had great chemistry and attraction built up as did the sexual tension until it was palpable. However, things didn’t happen between Trevor and Jesse until the time was right. It made the story that much more captivating. In the end, it was very much worth the wait.

I adored Trevor and Jesse so much. Both men were well written and easy to connect to. Trevor stole my heart from the absolute beginning because he was such an incredible father and person. Jesse took a tad bit longer to fall head over heels for but I soon realized he was perfectly suited for Trevor. While there is an age gap, it’s not huge and Jesse’s maturity and caring personality actually leveled things out. Honestly, these two men have become a favorite couple of mine.

Overall, I have to say I highly recommend this book. It’s well written and beautifully heartbreaking but has such a sweet ending. You can’t help falling in love with Jesse and Trevor.

***Copy provided by the author/publisher via NetGalley for my reading pleasure in hopes of an unbiased opinion, a review was not a requirement.

How do I put what this book meant to me into words? I can’t find terms to describe this outstanding work. Phenomenal, Heartbreaking, Touching, Realistic, Emotional, Hopeful? All of these, yet none can do the job on its own.

The book is in two segments: before and after. Before Trevor’s son, Riley, is killed in action in Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan and After as Trevor starts the painful process of trying to survive without his reason to live. I’m still reeling as I write this. That section was so emotional for me that tears are still leaking, and those who know me know that I don’t let those suckers loose easily.

My son was in a similar situation, IRL, the year before Riley shipped out. My parent trigger was pulled over and over again throughout this realistically told story. The rare calls that only came during the night, which was their daytime. Going off grid on patrol somewhere top secret. The IEDs and constant danger from snipers and suicide bombers. All that and more. It was a very painfully emotional year for me and as I read Riley’s story and Trevor’s reactions, I was right there with them as my heart beat too fast, or I felt lightheaded, frightened, and finally, sobbing. Honestly, I don’t know how a parent can survive the loss of a child, but if there are words to describe the hell that is having your child in a situation like Riley was in, Ms. Hansen surely found them. Kudos for such an outstanding and sensitive portrayal of that time period.

And the after? Trevor was so broken it didn’t seem likely he could put one foot in front of the other. The stages of grief are clearly portrayed. The breakup with Carl, the slowly developing friendship with Jesse, Riley’s BFF and battle buddy, and their long and very slow burn that develops into so much more—all inevitable as readers could tell by the time it happened. The beauty is in the journey we take with Trevor and Jesse along the way as they revisit their memories of Riley: the child, the friend, the soldier. And, as with the main characters, the secondary characters are well-developed and have their own issues and impact from their time in Afghanistan, most notably PTSD. The author doesn’t gloss over any of it. Each issue is addressed, some more in-depth than others, all of it making for an emotional read.

Riley isn’t a fleeting character either. Though he dies in this story, his memory is kept alive throughout the book, in part during Trevor’s stages of grief, but in part through his annual visits to Arlington National Cemetery, where Riley is buried alongside other soldiers who gave their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan. There is a romance in here. Honest there is, but the couple’s story is wrapped up in so much other emotion that needs to be addressed, the romance is almost secondary. Jesse and Trevor together were beautiful, though they didn’t come together as a couple until the latter part of the book. And when they did, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. There is so much emotional depth to this story that I’m back to saying what I did at the beginning of this review: there are no words that can do it justice.

Topping my Best of 2018 list, this book deserves to be read. Grab the tissue box, find a quiet place where your sobbing will not bother others, and just read. Read until your heart breaks and heals itself, because it will heal, and by the end of the story, joy is in store for all those who finish. Joy and a sense of peace and accomplishment and the knowledge that you’ve just read something very special. Needless to say, I very highly recommend this story to all lovers of MM romance, angst, age gap, hurt-comfort, and deep feels on all stages of life’s spectrum.

Wow. I needed an amazing book. The past few books just didn't do anything for me. I almost didn't grab this one because of all the things I have going on in my life right now. This is another book that was grabbed because of Christi Snow. I've read and loved another Melanie Hansen book so I wasn't surprised that I loved Point of Contact.

I knew going into this book that there would be many tears shed. I still wouldn't have passed up the opportunity to read it though. I enjoyed how the story was told though. The blurb tells you that Trevor and Jesse will meet and fall in love because they've both lost someone beyond important to them. Trevor has lost his only child. Jesse has lost his best friend. We've all lost Riley. The way this story unfolds allows the reader to really get to know Riley. He was so much more than a secondary character. Through Trevor's memories readers get to watch Riley growing up through the eyes of a full time single father. Readers get to see Riley as he grows into a man in the Army with Jesse. There's a major void where Riley once was.

Point of Contact is broken down into two part, before and after. You can easily guess what that before and after is. Trevor's grief is not something he is easily moving on from. His fiance doesn't understand why it's taking so much time. Trevor is losing his clients, his friends, his lover, and slowly but surely himself.

Jesse struggles with many days himself. After leaving the Army he finds himself back near a base that was never really a home but the only home he has left. He has a job that pays his bills. He has friends that he keeps in contact with. Jesse is going through the motions of life. Taking a box of Riley's belongings to his father Trevor wasn't supposed to be anything more than that. They easily become friends over their love of Riley.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. All the tears cried while reading it was worth it. Jess and Trevor were a good match even if a bit unlikely. I needed a good love story and Melanie Hansen delivered that with Point of Contact.

Melanie Hansen really draws you in and you get to know all three characters. Yes Three: Trevor, Jesse, anddddd Riley. The romance is only between Trevor, Riley's dad, and Jesse, Riley's best friend, but the reader gets to know Riley before he dies and makes their resulting grief process more relatable than it might have otherwise.

The way Melanie sets up Riley's death as the central focus of the novel, particularly chronologically and with how the chapters are titled, is genius. I much preferred it over the other likely choice of flashbacks. I personally found the later romance section a little meh towards the end. I didn't love it and I didn't hate it but Trevor and Jesse did have their HEA.

Overall 4 stars. First half 5 stars, second half 3 stars. Would recommend.

5++++ Stars


So, first thing first, from just the blurb I knew reading Point of Contact would be an emotional journey and it was, it was angsty and I went through so many tissues reading it. Truly, this is a book to be savored and devoured in the comfort of your own house, it might cause sporadic bursts of tears and we don't want those in public, do we?

While I will admit that I'm sensitive and it's not all that difficult to make me cry, Melanie Hansen had me sobbing my eyes out, completely broken over both Trevor and Jesse's pain at losing Riley. I swear I'm dehydrated and exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster, Ms. Hansen took me through.

PoC is not truly a romance—although it does have one—but it's a love story. It tells us about Trevor's unconditional love for his son and Jesse's love for his brother in arms, and the love they find together while grieving for Riley. Again, it wasn't an easy read, but it's completely worthwhile.

Trevor was an amazing father and even if Riley wasn't planned, he did his best to provide for him and be the best dad he could be. The way he missed Riley when he went on deployment and then his pain at finding out he'd been killed were so poignant, so acute, so real, that as a mother I just couldn't not relate to him. And Jesse, sweet, responsible Jesse, who'd already gone through so much since he was a little boy helping take care of his Deaf parents and then being left on his own at 18 after they both died, hiding his sexuality so he could join the army and then suffering the rigors of war and being there with Riley until he died so he wouldn't be alone, I just wanted to hug him and make it better.

It's obvious Ms. Hansen did her research, apart from her inner knowledge as to how the army works and the process of grief, but more than that, she was able to put it into words that reached my heart and made me care for these men and want a HEA for them.

I loved the progression of Jesse and Trevor's friendship into them becoming lovers. It was a slow burn, but I could feel the tension and the feelings growing between them and when they finally made a move forward, it was beautiful, hot, sexy and loving. They not only had amazing chemistry, but had this intangible bond of their love for Riley and their support for each other that made it even more special, deeper, more meaning.

I loved to see both their relationships with Riley and how truly special Riley was for everyone he came in contact with. I also enjoyed seeing that Jesse was still there for his brothers, especially Watty, once they were back from Afganistan.

All in all, PoC is a book you can't miss out on, emotional, sweet, angsty, fantastically written and did I mention heartbreakingly angsty? Just don't forget the tissues, because believe me, you're going to need them.

Highly recommendable!

*** Copy provided to the reviewer via NetGalley for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***

3.5 Stars - This story is about a father (Trevor) who lost his only son (Riley) and Jesse who lost his best friend in the war. Trevor and Jesse found each other through Riley. They both struggled with their loss and started healing each other. They find peace with each other. The healing part of this story was too much for me. The 60-70% of the story, they were healing, speak about Riley, about their memories of Riley, about what he did or wanted to do, about war and people they lost… This Riley/healing part was really too much and there wasn’t any page that they wouldn’t mention Riley’s name! I know it’s reality! I know people who lost their child at such young age and still after years they couldn’t heal properly and feel lost. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not heartless but for this story, I wanted something more, I wanted to see their love more… and because of that, the story felt too slow for me. But I think it was just me because my friends all of them loved the story. Told in dual POV, 3rd person. It’s a stand-alone novel. Hope you enjoy it!
Thanks to Melanie Hansen, NetGalley and Carina Press for the advanced digital copy in exchange an honest review.

This was not an easy book to read. I'm sure it was a harder hook to write. I wonder where Melanie got the courage?

Even though it wasn't an easy read, by that I mean going into it knowing Riley is going to die and war in general, but it was beautifully written. I thought Melanie gave these soldiers justice.
What I didn't expect we're the memories and getting to know Riley from the beginning through his father's eyes, until he end between both his and Jess's.

It all felt very organic and real, from the characters, to the world, to the growing relationships. Beautiful (bittersweet) story!

4.5 Stars

This book… it surprised the heck out of me. I don’t know what I was expecting because this is my first Melanie Hansen book. Not familiar with the author, I was really going in blind. What I found was a very well written, beautifully told story about grief and loss. A story about a certain kind of heartbreak that comes with all of that loss. A story about how when you find the right people to help guide you, that grief and loss and heartbreak does not have to continue to consume you. It’s also about how someone can be lonely even when you’re surrounded by your brothers. How someone could come back from war, beaten and broken and so hurt mentally that it’s all you can do to breathe, can find someone they are comfortable with. Someone they can open up to and trust. This was about relationships that could be seen as very complicated, but turned out to be just so right. So perfect.

While at times I felt the slow burn of this stories romance was going to make me crazy, because it’s very slow, I understood the need for it. It would not have really worked had the pace gone any faster. The way this relationship starts with Jessie and Trevor, when Jessie is back from the war, it’s so innocent. It’s so open and honest. The courage that both men find in themselves to open up and trust each other was wondrous. I think because their friendship is paramount to everything else at first, their sharing of memories with Riley, and the way they helped each other heal, that made up for the times when I felt like the pacing was too slow for me.

With grief and loss that is so palpable I thought my heart was being ripped from me, I feel like I could understand, just a little bit, how Trevor and Jessie were feeling. Loosing someone is the hardest thing that everyone has to face at some point. This is just a life truth. How you are able to deal with it, how you can honor the memory of who you lost, and how you move on in life is always going to be unique to each person. It will always be something that is, and should be, at your own pace. The way Hansen crafted this, how she was able to explain all of this through Trevor in particular was amazing and touching.

One thing I loved was the way PTSD was not only tied to Jessie and his brothers from war. No, they were not the only ones dealing with it. Trevor was too, in his own way. It’s something that I think can be overlooked so easily. But it’s real and I loved that Jessie was strong enough to see that and to be able to help others. And later, both Jessie and Trevor and their work together…it was inspiring.

Honestly, this book was amazing. I even loved it when it was ripping my heart out and I had ugly tears. It’s beautiful in it’s brutal honesty, in dealing with grief and loss, and PTSD that is accompanied with that loss and with the trials of war that a solider goes through. It’s a hard book to read. Really hard. But I’m glad I did it. I’m glad I was able to read through the heartache and get to the end… because the end is beautiful.

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Avid Reader – ☆☆☆☆☆
4.5 stars
M/M Romance
Triggers: War, Death, PTSD

Whew! Get the tissues close by when you read this book. It is full of emotions that will eat at you.

Jesse is Riley's best friend. They went through basic training together and have a bond that most brothers would envy. Riley grew up in a non-traditional home – he was raised by his father, who he knew was gay, but never truly had partners until Riley was an adult. Riley sees in Jesse behaviors that he also sees in his dad. But being the good and supportive friend he is, he allows Jesse to come to him. When they are deployed, their lives become more real – they are thrust into situations that, while they are trained for, they really shouldn't be dealing with at their age.

Riley's dad, Trevor, and his partner are hoping and praying that everything will turn out well for Riley. However, Trevor's partner isn't Riley's dad, he's mainly concerned with how Trevor will handle his son going off to war. You see the tension between them and wonder if they will truly last in their relationship.

Jesse and Trevor are trying to cope with all that has happened and in doing so, form a bond that not many others would understand. They both loved the same person in different ways. The title is so fitting for this story because it truly is their point where they come together.

It's sad, honest, and gritty, as well as romantic and healing. These two find a way through grief and heartbreak to a place of peace and acceptance.


Angie – ☆☆☆☆☆
This book was heart wrenching but so good. I don't know if the author personally experienced this subject or someone close to them did, but I felt like I was experiencing it with Trevor and Jesse as it was happening. My heart hurt, I cried but I also found hope and love along the way with Jesse and Trevor and their journey. The epilogue was amazing, and I found myself smiling and crying at the same time. Beautiful, heartbreaking story that so many people have gone through; it gives us who haven't, their perspective so we can be more sensitive and more supportive. I just loved this book and can't say enough good things about it.


Sarah – ☆☆☆☆☆
This was a messy cry book from start to finish. Riley, Trevor, and Jesse all feel horribly real and the author captures the suffocating intensity of Trevor’s grief with heart rending authenticity. This is a beautiful story but was a difficult book to read and a hard book to process.

The story unfolds on either side of Riley’s combat death. We get to know Riley as Trevor’s son and Jesse’s best friend and battle buddy. We see the joys, the playful moments, and the meaningful interactions before Riley dies and the knowledge makes Trevor and Jesse’s experiences after his death all the more poignant.

I really loved this story. I wasn’t sure about the age gap between Trevor and Jesse when I started the book and the best-friend’s-father thing still doesn’t sit perfectly with me. But ultimately, I understood Jesse and Trevor together. The two are bound together by horrific experiences and they fit each other beautifully. This is a special story. Readers will need to be in the right headspace for the book but it’s not a story I will soon forget.