Title: Someone I Used to Know
Author: Patty Blount
Genre: YA
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

“Boys will be boys is never an excuse.”

Ashley was fourteen, a freshman, when she was raped by the senior star for points in the traditional football team scavenger hunt. That was two years ago. A year ago, her rapist was sentenced to a paltry year in prison as the community, the team, and her brother supported him.

Ashley still suffers from debilitating panic attacks that make her wonder if she’ll ever get better. She’s a pariah at school—for getting football thrown out—but when the team is reinstated, she’s desperate to prevent the scavenger hunt that changed her life forever from hurting anyone else. Though scared and afraid, Ashley decides to speak up one more time.

Her brother Derek, away at school, blames himself for what happened to his sister—and how he reacted. What he once saw as normal behavior, he now sees as rape culture, but he doesn’t know how to communicate with Ashley—or anyone else—his remorse and determination to be part of a change. At Thanksgiving, with their entire family falling apart, Derek and Ashley must decide if their relationship is worth the effort it will take to repair.

Patty Blount loves chocolate, cars, and reading. Someone I Used to Know is her newest novel.

(Galley provided by Sourcebooks Fire in exchange for an honest review.)

This book is about how one girl's rape affects her, her dysfunctional family, and the community and those around her. Ashley is mostly hung up being upset with her brother. It focuses mainly on how Ashely feels about all kinds of things and how her brother, Derek sees things. It's not an easy read or a light one. It is tailored to today's society and since morals and values started leaving our schools and homes it's a reflection of that downfall. It's not a book you enjoy, its one you slog through and cry over.

My copy came from Net Galley. My thoughts and opinions are my own. This review is left of my own free volition.

Someone I Used to Know is a painful book about the aftermath. Two years ago, Ashley was raped by her brother's teammate. And two years later, she's still haunted by it. Her relationship with her brother and her family has been completely fractured, and Ashley can't get dressed in the morning without thinking - does it look like I'm asking for it?

I really thought this would be a five-star book for sure, and it definitely started off that way. It was painful; I could imagine everything the main character was going through, and every time something reminded her of her past, it was chilling to read.

But as the book went on, it all became a little formulaic. Dialogues became unrealistic and it seemed almost as if I was reading an educational pamphlet, and the author was trying to input random facts into conversation. While I do love the realism and research behind it, I think integration could have been done better, and it was unnecessary to state them so obviously - the story could have spoken for itself.

I definitely liked Derek and Ashley as main characters, but Sebastian was a bit "meh" for me. Don't get me wrong - I'd love someone like that in real life, but there wasn't much background to him and it seemed like he was just there to be "the nice guy" and "the moral support." I get that the book was focused around Ashley's story, but having a character there that seemed to serve a single plot purpose was surprisingly noticeable.

Nevertheless, this book definitely tugged at some heartstrings. I'm not sure if it's just the topic, or my overactive imagination that tends to think about different outcomes and write my own story in my head, but I won't lie - I shed a few tears. For anyone who likes to read about social issues and the like, this is a great young adult book to pick up.

Oof, this book. This is a difficult topic to write about, but it's so important when it comes to opening a dialogue to have stories like this out there, and while it feels weird to read a book about a 14-year-old being raped and say "this book is important, and everyone needs to read it," well...this book is important. And everyone needs to read it.

The use of dual narrators, telling the story from both Ashley and Derek's perspectives, was an excellent approach. As Derek and his friends learn, it can't just be women, male victims, or people with sisters/wives/daughters fighting this fight...men with no other stake in the game besides a desire to be a good person need to become allies, and what better way to help young men along that path than to give them a role model like Derek? Watching Derek grapple with his mistakes was almost as painful as reading Ashley's story, but it was also inspiring to see him learn from them, ask questions, and start to become a better, stronger person. We need more narratives like his in the world.

With Ashley's story, the court excerpts at the start of chapters were a punch to the gut, and they help the reader right away to get into Ashley's head and try to feel what she was and is still feeling. Her chapters were hard to read at times, but they should be hard to read. I don't want to meet the person who reads this book and doesn't struggle through it.

One thing that really hit me hard was her realization that there is no justice. No matter what happens, nothing is going to fix what happened to her. She will always have to live with it, it will always be a struggle, and nothing about that is just or fair. Another heartbreaking piece of her narrative was the question of why the bright future of a high school football player was more important than her bright future. That is a narrative that is spun so often in cases like this...look at Brock Turner as a real-world example. He's so talented, he has such a bright future, something like this shouldn't define the rest of his life! But...it's fine that it will define the rest of his victim's life? He chose this, they didn't. Nothing about that is acceptable, and the fact that so many people don't even think about the victim in cases like this is disheartening.

Ultimately, I think what makes this book most important is that nothing about it felt like fiction to me. Every word, every experience was real. Ashley, Derek, and their family may be made up, Vic may not have ever existed, but the things that happened to them have happened to other people. Do happen to other people, every day. Read this book, then share it with someone you know. Build more allies. Put less pressure on women to attempt to police the behaviors of others and shift that responsibility where it belongs. Books like this can help change the world.

I can sum up my review of this book with two simple words of advice to you, "Read it!" You really don't need to read more of my review than that, but I'll still write more to let you know why those two words....

This is an emotive story, dealing with the past and present relationships particularly between a brother and sister, Derek and Ashley, and most especially after she was raped by her brother's friend and teammate. It is a heart wrenching story portraying the feelings of guilt, betrayal and pressure on the family and peers as well as the victim.  It also highlights how societal expectations and excuses, rape culture and more really need to change - as it says in the story, "Does anybody ever say 'Oh, it's just extremists being extremists.' No! So why is 'boys will be boys' an excuse?" It is a story about striving to change these attitudes, moving forward, forgiveness and love.



The story is superbly written, giving an insight into the difficult and traumatic impact of sexual assault on the family of the victim and the attitudes portrayed by peers and the community towards them all. It deals with difficult issues but does so within the context of the story that highlights how society still puts so much emphasis on the victim being the one to blame - wearing provocative clothing, attitude, etc - and not enough on the assailant for accepting that No means No. The character development really brings them to life, encouraging the reader to relate and react to their experiences and making them feel real. 

I really think this story should be on the shelves of every high school and read by all students, their parents and their teachers, regardless of gender. It shows how rape culture permeates society, it is a brutally honest, thought provoking and evocative read. It may well not be a comfortable read but sometimes that's just what's needed to change attitudes and expectations and for many that change needs to start in schools. For me, this book is a keeper, an emotive roller coaster and a real eye opener.

I requested and was given a copy of this book, via NetGalley. This is my honest review of this amazing, thought provoking book after choosing to read it.

This is a powerful book that takes a look into the life of a victim and her family after a rape. We all may know someone that has been a victim (or perhaps it is you?) and that we could never fully understand what that person went through before, during, or after the incident. And it doesn't just affect the victim, it affects the family as they help the victim work out their fears regarding the incident.

There are so many good things to write about this book it is hard to know where to start. I think the biggest impact this book had on me was taking a look into how being a victim of rape or sexual assault can affect the victim for years after the event. It can be the smallest thing that triggers a reaction and memory of the event. I never really understood what a person might go through but this book really opened my eyes. Ashley is 14/15 when this happened to her and many of her reactions, while valid, also reflect her age. She is angry at everyone, even those trying to help her. Some comments made by friends and family were misunderstood and instead of asking for clarification, she just shuts that person out of her life. At the same time, she doesn't understand the guilt that her family feels about the situation and not being able to protect her. There are many situations that she has to work her way through to understand and accept how others feel or their reactions in the past. She does grow over the two years that this book spans and realizes that she doesn't have to let this event traumatize her at every turn. No she won't forget the incident, but she can take control back and move forward.

Ashley's brothers, Justin & Derek, also have their own battles to fight regarding the incident. They are not handling it as well and they might have thought, but it turns into character building for them, especially Derek since he feels the most responsible. His POV was sometimes hard to read only because of the guilt you could feel in his words especially when attending a rally on his college campus. Ashley's parents are also trying to balance protecting Ashley without smothering her.

I appreciated all of the links to organizations that support victims and families of sexual assault. The author even recommends searching the hashtag #MeToo to read stories by those assaulted.

I would have liked to have a bit more development of Sebastian and Brittany since these characters play a pivotal role in Ashley and Derek's lives.

Overall a book that made a huge impact on my thought process and view of victims of assault.

This book was difficult to read, but all books about rape are that way. I must say that this book felt so genuine and sincere. While this is a work of fiction the characters felt so real and authentic.
Someone I Used to know is about a young girl who was raped because of a ridiculous game the football game was playing. The book follows the aftermath. You get to see what feels like a accurate representation of what can happen to not just the victim, but their family.
Although this is a difficult topic I feel like all young adults could benefit from reading this. I highly recommend.

This book is about the HIGH triggering themed topic -rape. Eve, when the deed on its own was not described it still, can be a trigger to a lot of people.
This book is not easy to review for sure not only due to the topic but also due to the form in which there are shown two sides of this which were a great advantage of this book.
Ashley is a girl that was raped at the age of 14, she suffered a lot - from her abuser, school and as well as when her brother betrayed her. Her chapters were the rawest here. Growing a knowledge of rape-culture (I can't find any other word) is a hard and slow process but that's what I saw there in Ashley - destroyed dreams and future at first, but don't get me wrong she has the FIRE and power in herself - give her time.
Derek - a brother that had something to do with his sister rape, I wanted to hate him for that, but it was not the whole truth there. His character was a great example of coming of age character that will be growing completely during the book.
This author captivated me with her way of telling the story, powerful message and raw emotions it had burned in me!

Ashley Lawrence was a freshman in high school when her brother’s teammate raped her under the bleachers during Homecoming. The school’s football team had a long tradition of playing a scavenger hunt where each player would pick a card, and whatever that card says they have to do it in order to win points. There’s no prize for whoever wins the most; just bragging rights. This was a boy whom she had had a crush on, someone she had kissed willingly; someone whom she had trusted.

What I love most about this book is how firm Blount is that rape is never the victim's fault. It's all about power, and those who rape prey on the perceived weak, their target's vulnerabilities. I don't doubt that there will be readers who find this book to be too "preachy," but this is a topic that needs to keep being discussed. I applaud Blount for not taking the easy route when writing this story. Reading about rape is difficult, but I can't even imagine how much more difficult it is to write about it.

I especially loved Derek's story, Ashley's brother. My heart broke for him in the present because he was dealing with his own demons of not being there for his sister, of being mean to her just because she clung on too tightly whenever he tried to pull away to breathe. His journey went from blaming the victim ("Why couldn't you just stay home?") to someone being a staunch supporter and advocate for the cause. It definitely wasn't a realistic path because I find it hard to believe that Derek (and Ashley for that matter) could really recruit so many people so fast to join their respective causes, but I can appreciate the journey all the same.

I also really loved that Ashley went from feeling like a victim who's "weak" to a warrior. I loved that self-defense was brought up, I loved how support was made out to be such a huge deal because victims often feel so alone in their turmoil and support, whether it's friends or family or therapy, is essential. I also loved the fact that every member of Ashley's family besides her and Derek had their own anger to contend with, and how much it was tearing their family apart so much so that the parents were on the verge of divorce.

I didn't always agree with what Ashley did and said, and I did kind of feel her being a bit too much of a "drama queen" at times, but that's another reason why I love this book because nobody in this story is perfect. Everyone is flawed, even the victim.

This is a great YA that can be used in Middle school. It wasn't graphic and the transition of the character from middle school to high school was relateable. The way the story jumps from present to past was essential to the story but at times a little confusing. Overall, this is a great title that sheds light on the effect sexual assault has on a family as a whole and it was also great at highlighting the difficulty males have understanding rape culture.

This was quite a difficult book to read, especially after just finishing quite an upbeat light and fluffy book.

Someone I Used to Know is the aftermath of a sexual assault that happened to Ashley by her brothers teammate, her life was forever changed after this dreadful night.

It has been 2 years but nothing dulls Ashley's pain and stops the panic attacks that make her feel like she’s stuck in time, her relationship with her family is strained, she is bitter not only at what happened to her but also in the part her brother played and the sentence doled out to her attacker.

Ashley's brother Derek is plagued with guilt, he is also suffering because of the role he played. He no longer has a relationship with Ashley and prefers to stay away from home. Derek was now on a mission to bring awareness to rape culture and the adherence to male roles within schools and sport.

The characters were written well, Ashley was constantly angry at everything and everyone; Sebastian was a godsend to Ashley and represents the perfect boy and showed how females should be treated. My heart broke for Ashley's broken family.

I enjoyed this book, it had quite the morose feel to it and touched on very difficult subject matters. Patty Blount wrote this book well.

**Thank you to NetGalley for providing me a complimentary copy of SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW by Patty Blount in exchange for my honest review.**

This book was quite an experience for me. It for sure is NOT an easy one but such an IMPORTANT one. In the time of the #metoo movement when woman are fighting for their rights, bodies and justice for those who take advantage of them, this book is so eye opening. I think every teenage boy and girl should have to read this. It dives in right to the heart of how people's actions and what they think is insignificant can change someone else's life. What someone considers a joke or a "just some fun" can devastate a family. I found myself heartbroken, furious and a whole range of other emotions during the course of the book. I am in admiration of Ashley. She is the type of girl that I was. Trying to right wrongs when nobody would listen. And Sebastian? Forget about it. It's hard to find a swoonier guy amongst such tragedy. This author was brilliant in her painting of this story. I'm in awe of the way she filled this story with such realism, thought and hope. I'm positive that I won't ever forget this book. It has made such an impact on me.

Two years ago, Ashley Lawrence, a freshman in high school, was raped by a senior football player during Homecoming week. Since then, it has driven a wedge between her and her brother, Derek. They were once very close, but now Ashley hates him and can’t even stand to look at him. Derek is carrying around his own guilt about the night of the rape and feels partly responsible for what happened to Ashley. With both Ashley and Derek at odds, the rest of their family is feeling the strain. Can Ashley and Derek ever learn to forgive each other so that their family can start the healing process?

Someone I Used To Know really packs an emotion punch in regards to rape culture and the term “boys will be boys.” It is a shame that till this day society often places blame on the victim. Why were you wearing that outfit? Why were you with him alone? Why were you walking at night by yourself? She was asking for it. She is lying. We have all heard these statements before. When a woman is raped why is she the one always targeted as if she did something wrong? If you want blame someone, blame the rapist. They are the ones at fault. Women are harassed every single day by men. Sometimes men don't even realize what they are doing is wrong. Cat calling a woman as she is walking down the street, touching someone inappropriately as a joke, listening to your friends talking about what they want to do to a woman even if they are joking is still wrong. Most people call it “locker room” talk or boys will be boys which really goes to show how society views rape culture.

Ashley tackles a lot of these issues when she returns back to high school. She is determine to tell her story and make more people aware of rape culture and what we can do to stop it. Ashley really shines here in her determination. Yes, she is still triggered and has anxiety attacks, but she wants to make a difference. Ashley is such a realistic character and I love how Patty Blount shows her day to day struggles and never sugarcoats anything. Ashley as a character is raw and uncensored and I can really see how she grew as a person through the story.

Derek was also an interesting character for me and sometimes, in the very beginning, I hated how he treated Ashley, but at the same time, I can also see how much he craved his independence and wanted to do things with friends that didn’t include his sister. I also had to remind myself that he was still very much just a teenager and acted like a teenager. But, I can see how traumatized he was after his sister’s rape. That moment where he finally gets it and understands that what happened to Ashley wasn’t her fault. You can feel the guilt he feels for his treatment of her. He really has the most growth in this story and I was proud of him for finally owning up to what he did and the ways he went about fixing it.

Someone I used To Know is raw and uncensored. It is a story that every high school student, both boys and girls, needs to read and understand how rape culture affects our society. This story tackles real life issues and is told in a brutally honest way. Patty Blount has such a knack of pulling out every emotion in you such as tears, sadness, anger, and finally relief for characters in a story I have come to treasure. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. This is a five star read and one that will remain on my keeper shelf.

When I was in high school I never knew there were books about rape and teenagers. When I was teaching high school they had students reading the book Speak. I hope that they will start reading this novel in high schools soon! This novel sounds similar to Girl with Stars in Her Hair by Ashley Herring Blake, which I have not yet read, but this book does such an amazing job of showing the effects of rape on so many different people involved that I would recommend it even if you think you know a similar story. One of the best parts of this novel was that it takes place 2 years after the attack and shows that this isn’t something that happens and is dealt with and over. There are heavy topics in the novel, obviously, but they are important. It is important to see how the victim is effected long term, how her family members are impacted, what the changes are in the school in this case, and how even when somebody has been found guilty it doesn’t equal justice and things aren’t fixed right away. This is also a story of friendship, it is nice to see the people who do stand by and who also acknowledge that things aren’t the same and never will be. This is a very timely novel, including the #MeToo movement and Take Back The Night rallies. One other important message from the book is that it isn’t about teaching men/boys not to rape because it could be their mother/sister/etc. but teaching them not to because women all deserve respect and the topic of men as rape victims is also included. Those are both things than can be glossed over in many novels addressing these tough topics. Read this book, and feel the pain, then give a copy to the young women and men you know.

Thank you NetGalley for an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

3 1/2 stars

If I had not experienced Fredrik Backman's Beartown last summer, I could have conceivably been more affected by Patty Blount's Someone I Used to Know than I was. Both deal with the glamorizing of youth sports--hockey in Beartown and American football in Someone I Used to Know--and the aftermath when one of the male sports heroes rapes a young woman. And, both deal with the fallout, much of which distastefully points at the young woman, not as a victim, but as someone who has caused issues with the great sport and its heroes.

Although Backman's novel is literary fiction and Blount's is YA, Backman uses finesse to guide his story while Blount uses a hammer.

Someone I Used to Know focuses on Ashley, the rape victim, and Derek, her brother and a member of the football team, as well as their family and friends. The novel is quick to point out that when a person is raped, it's not only the victim that's affected, but everyone in the victim's circle.

In a format that I didn't particularly find appealing, mainly because it became ungainly, the reader is given flashbacks from different stages in Ashley and Derek's lives as well as where they are currently. I felt some of these sequences, while providing a whole picture, could have been edited down and some edited out. Considering the nature of the topic and the author's choice to hammer the reader with so much information regarding rape, the statistics, and so many facts, I reached a point of saturation, which made it frequently difficult to continue reading, especially since I did not believe the novel could hold any surprises for me.

Some of the dialogue verged on preaching and felt forced and unbelievable, which intensified the feeling of being hammered at. As well, some of the scenes felt overwrought and melodramatic, especially some of Derek's scenes when he is pretty much forced to come to terms with how he has treated girls in the past.

However, I know that as a reader, I frequently believe in the less is more school, and I know that what I find over-the-top might satisfy many readers. Also, if you've not experienced the delicate way in Fredrik Backman handles an extremely similar story, you will probably be fired up over Someone I Used to Know. And that is a good thing.

Rape and the objectification of girls and women is unfortunately nothing new. However, one can but hope that novels like these, and the movements described in Someone I Used to Know will further enlighten readers.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A tragically beautiful book. As a 14 year old, Ashley was raped by a friend. Someone I Used to Know is a story about the aftermath of rape, not only for the survivor, but the family. I have never read a book that talks about all aspects, including the guilt that other members of the family feel. The book is about rebuilding a life and forgiveness in the wake of an act so heinous it robs one of their sense of self. I loved the way the author dealt with such a painful subject, and attention she paid not only to the female survivor, but to the disintegration of family. The relationship between Derek and Ashley, and the things they learn about one another both broke my heart and gave me a feeling of hope. I felt the subject was dealt with with care and understanding, and drew me in from the first pages.

I have to say that in this day and age and all of the stories we hear in the news what an amazing book to read.

The story of a teenage girl who gets raped by one of the guys on the football team and the turmoil it has caused her parents and brothers while she tries to figure out how to go back out in the world and live.

It is sad and dark at times, as one would expect a book about rape to be, but uplifting and informative at other points!

It is a book every kid should read in school to teach them about standing up for others and protecting your friends and peers and most of all learn to respect each other. It wouldn’t hurt most adults to read and learn from this book too!

Bravo Ms. Blount for having the courage to write this book!!! It is beautiful written, engaging and needed in this world with the times we live in.

"You have no idea! You don’t stop to think about where you’ve parked your car and whether it will be dark when you get back to it. You don’t worry about the guys who step onto an elevator after you. And you probably never had to deal with dates who actually expect services in exchange for the money they just spent on you. It literally happens all the time.”

“No big deal, right? They’re funny. They’re not meant to be taken seriously. What’s the big deal? Well, if you look at the tweets under those hashtags, you’ll see. Better yet, ask. Go home tonight and ask the women you know— moms, sisters, friends. Ask them if they have a Me Too or Yes All Women story. I guarantee they will. In fact, they’ll have more than one. Because every day, while we’re busy pretending it’s not happening, the women we know are facing questionable, creepy, and outright threatening behavior from guys. What I’m saying is it doesn’t matter if you’re not that guy. What matters is we’re the guys who keep ignoring this crappy behavior because we’re afraid we’ll look like wusses.”

This book is Phenomenal!! Anyone who has a #MeToo or #YesAllWomen story or know someone who does (trust me you do!) should absolutely take some time out and read this book. Someone I Used to kNOw may help you see what you have been blind to. This story could not have more beautifully or elegantly ripped your heart out. The way Patty Blount told this story was absolutely perfect! Even going from the present, back two years ago, and then back before, Blount managed to make it fit together flawlessly and make you understand everything you needed to know about the story and the people involved. Even as a woman with my own #MeToo stories this book showed me views I may not have looked at closely enough and helped me understand things in a way I hadn't fully. Someone I Used to kNOw has truly become one of the best books I've read and definitely on my favorites list. I am so grateful for the chance to read early and will have to have this as part of my physical book collection.
I hope you'll take the time to read this wonderful book.

This one had me on the verge of tears so many times. Nobody wants to have a discussion about rape and sexual assault. It's beyond heartbreaking and relatable to so many people. Whether you're a victim or you know a victim this book will hit home. I did enjoy the writing style and how each character grew as the book went on.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

Patty Blount’s Someone That I Used to Know explores the ripple effects toxic masculinity and rape culture have on society, and how a whole family is affected after their fourteen-year old is assaulted. Told through the alternating perspectives of two siblings, this novel shows how we can best be there for and support loved ones who are hurting.

Once close, siblings Ashley and Derek barely speak. Two years prior, Derek took part in a scavenger hunt that involved using girls to score points. One of his teammates took the “game” too far... Derek’s younger sister Ashley got hurt. This novel is about the aftermath: how Ashley struggles to regain control over her life and her identity, how family members and loved ones are also victims after something traumatic happens to one of their own, and how we as a society respond to those who choose to speak up about what they have gone through.

This book is not an easy read — but it is a powerful story that teaches both guys and girls how they can make a difference within their own lives. Recommended for mature teens.