What a great book! I honestly didn't think I would find much value here as I am older and not so worried about what other people think. Wrong. I wasn't battling so much comparison about my kids and their kids, but more about why is my walk with Christ not like hers. This was a great eye opener with many many scriptures to show me how valuable I am in Christ. Thank you Nicki for a great book!

Why Her effectively covers why we compare ourselves to other women, why comparison is unnecessary, and how to stop! The author describes and offers help for this trap many of us walk into.

I loved, loved, loved the book. I have literally asked the question “Why Her?” many times. I struggle a lot with comparing myself to other so I’m so glad the book came out. I felt like it was written for me.

I appreciated how open and honest Nicki was about her own struggle with comparing herself to others. She reminded us that we don’t want to live her life. We have our own God-given assignment and she has hers I liked what she said that if we didn’t get something we prayed for or hoped for, it was not meant to be ours and it wasn’t something we truly we wanted. And she brought up one good point. Instead of competing against one another, why not celebrate one another? Why is there so much competition among women these days

This book has given me much to think about. I cannot recommend this book enough.

Rating: 5 out of 5

This book was provided by B&H Publishing and NetGalley in exchange for a review.

https://godsgirl4life2.wordpress.com/2018/05/21/why-her-by-nicki-koziarz/

If success is defined in the eye of the beholder,
who are you letting behold your success?
Nicki Koziarz is confronting the comparison question: Why her?

Through two striving sisters in the Bible, Nicki uncovered six truths’ we need to hear when trying to measure up leaves you falling behind.
These six truths will help you:
• Stop staring at her success and find satisfaction in yours.
• Find contentment with your life without being complacent in who you are becoming.
• Gain godly wisdom to answer the Why Her silent question of your soul.
Someone will always be ahead. But that doesn’t mean you’re behind. Because Truth, like always, will set us free. And free women don’t have to measure up to anybody. Not even her.

“The reality is we may never understand why God does what He does. Trying to figure Him out will leave us frustrated. Trying to figure Him out will leave us fatigued. Trying to figure Him out will leave us faithless. The solution is to keep taking secure steps with God. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Our entire lives. This process never ends. For even when circumstances look shaky, God is stable. We can believe He is securing our steps even when things don’t seem to make sense.” Nicki Koziarz, “Why Her”

This book will bless you and challenge you at the same time. It will encourage you to lay down the comparison struggle and pick up God’s peace and love instead.

“Life is going to try breaking us down. No matter how much we love God, there are going to be people, situations, problems and heartbreaks that come along which are still incredibly hard to handle. But when life breaks us down we always have two options.” (Bitterness or Breakthrough) -Nicki Koziarz; “Why Her”

These six truths are just what we all need to hear and take the heart. The truth sets us free. Nikki helps us understand how to not get caught in the comparison trap. We all struggle with this and Nikki helps us apply godly wisdom to our lives to know that we aren’t behind. A must read for every woman.

I received a complimentary advanced reader copy of this book from the publisher, B&H.

Let's face it. We have all experienced a season of Why HER? We have struggled with alone in fear that others wouldn't understand or that we were alone. Nicki invites us into the lives of two of the most revered women of the bible. We learn their biblical stories and how it applies to modern situations. Leah and Rachel both experienced intense seasons and we learn how each sister dealt with them. Nicki gives us six realistic truths that help us to stay in our own lane and be happy about it.

I LOVED this book! The author writes with an easy conversational style that draws the reader in. It's easy to relate to Nicki's stories, and the connection with the story of Rachel and Leah in the Bible is spot on. Good spiritual premise. A must read for anyone (and that's most women, I think!), who has struggled with not feeling "enough".

Wow! As I read this book, I felt like a mirror was held in my face. I have been struggling for a few months with “Why Her?” Issues but in reality, my entire life. Nicki’s transparency to her own life really opened my eyes to my own. Her 6 truths are ver applicable to our daily lives and will help us live the life God untended for us instead of her. Every woman needs to read this and pass these truths on to the girls in their lives. I plan to apply these truths to my own life and teach my daughter to be the best version of herself God created and not to envy other woman.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from B&H Publishing through NetGalley. All opinions express are completely my own.

In an age where comparison is encouraged on so many levels, the message of this book is clear, it is unhealthy to look at another from this perspective. Digging deeper into “Who I Am” and what gifts have I been blessed with by God, would be time better spent. Understanding your self-worth, what you can contribute and an abundance mentality, are better for all of those around us.

The author explores the story of Rachel and Leah from Genesis, throughout the book to illustrate the damage that seems inevitable when we choose to live our life from the perspective of, “Why her and not me?”

We have a choice, we don’t have to listen to the lies that can play in our heads. The author notes that “Comparison brings out our competitive streak, which eats away at our contentment, which then destroys our confidence until we are fighting to keep up with an unrealistic standard.” Another quote that resonated was, “When a woman learns to listen to her unwell soul clues, she will become much less likely to let the struggle of comparison ruin her.”

She outlines a soul care strategy made up of three components; 1. Identify your three Ns (the noise, the notifications and the nosiness), 2. Find your happy, 3. Catalogue your compliments.

Truths she encourages us all to embrace are; 1. You need to be honest, 2. See it like it really is, 3. You don’t always have to be OK, 4.Sometimes you didn't do anything wrong, 5. Her gain is not your loss, 6. Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.

I hold onto these thoughts, “Never settle for the seed of comparison, my friend. You are more than this. You are way more than anyone could ever compare you to.”

This book aligned with others I have read. It is an enjoyable read that I can recommend.

With thanks to B&H Publishing Group, the author and NetGalley for my free copy to review.

In her book, Why Her?, Nicki digs into 6 Truths to help women overcome the comparison trap. Personally, Why Her? helped me come to terms with being able to dream God-sized dreams and at the same time accept when what I thought was a God- given dream wasn’t for me, after all.

Nicki is brutally honest in this book and forces the reader look at her own heart in order to get over the comparison trap. She uses the biblical examples of Rachel and Leah to uncover the 6 Truths we need to hear.

Do you compare yourself to others--especially other women? This is common among women today. We compare outfits, hairstyles, vacations, homes, children, and more often than not, we find ourselves on the short end of the stick. Nicki Koziarz's new book, Why Her, uses the Biblical story of Rachel and Leah to delve into the pitfalls and solutions to the comparison trap. Nicki discusses 6 truths we need to hold onto when comparisons get us down. Using personal stories, Biblical references, and challenging questions, Nicki takes the reader on a journey of self-discovery and a renewal of self-worth.

I found this book engaging and thought provoking. Nicki's writing style is that of a good friend sitting with you and discussing life over a cup of coffee. Her personal examples are sincere and heartwarming. I would highly recommend this book to every woman!

I expected "Why Her" to be good as Nicki Koziarz rarely writes a word I don't enjoy. What I didn't expect was for it to resonate so deeply with me and really challenge me to stop and think about where I am, what I have, how I think, and most important how all those things affect my relationship with God. There are some powerful, thought provoking things here. Tgis is provably one of my favorites: "We have to trust God so much that if he doesn't give us what we want, we don't want it." And it's all written in Nicki's typical down-to-earth style, that makes you feeling like you're sitting down with a friend.

I loved this book. I literally read it in a weekend because I couldn't put it down. This book healed me from comparison although I didn't know that I dealt with it. Great book, easy to read by a great author. I've already given copies away.

Will be doing the proverbs 31 online bible study to this book. Glad I got to read

What I loved about this book is how it took two relatable characters, Leah and Rachel, and looked at their stories from our 21st Century perspective. Knowing that the problems we have now were the same as many years ago actually helps the reader not feel so alone. The structure of the book really helps readers zero in on why this story and why now. So much love for this book. Feel blessed by reading it.

First, I have to say how much I love how real Nicki Koziarz is!  She is one of those people you just want to go sit down and have coffee with and enjoy her wisdom and conversation.

We have all struggled with the "Why Her?" question.  I know I have at times.  I see my daughters going through it too!  I'm going to give my daughters a copy!

In this book Nicki walks us through the lives of Rachel and Leah and we learn 6 truths to help us confront the comparison question of "Why Her?"  These truths will help us be satisfied with our own successes, find contentment and gain godly wisdom.

I can't wait to see how God uses Nicki and this book in the coming years!

“I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review."

Who’s Your “Her”

If you've ever sneered at someone and thought "I can do that better than her." Or if you've wished you had what "she" has. Or if you thought you missed out on being given that certain talent...then this book is for YOU! That's right! YOU! Author Nicki Koziarz hits the nail on the head with this comparison thing...scratch that, comparison trap. She will show as she walks us through the "6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind" is truth we need to have deep in our souls so we can become all God created us to be. This book will make you laugh, cry, and I bet you'll be nodding your head in agreement as Nicki shares her own personal struggles to show you...she's been there, and she gets it! Enough about what I have to say, y'all just go get this book.

Thank you B&H publishing for the advanced reader copy! And just so you know, I loved this book so much, I purchased 3 copies for my friends.

I am blessed to have been a part of Nicki's Why Her? Launch Group. I was given a complimentary advanced copy of this book by B&H. How many of us ask this question more times than we would like to admit it. How many times have we been paralyzed right after asking the question Why Her? See as I started my journey to read this book I thought it was something I had overcome and I wanted to read this book to not only confirm that but also to be equip to help others. But as soon as I opened this book I realized that no, comparison is still a struggle for me. One of the many things that spoke to me was The sneaky "must be nice" thoughts that come up in my life and are at The very root of comparison. This book had helped to be honest with myself and invite God to come and clean my heart and mind. The awesome thing is that God will help us through the story of Leah and Rachel, He will open our eyes. Nicki is so vulnerable and honest with us. She shares her testimony and through God's word gives us 6 Truths that will help us when the question Why Her? comes up again. I will like to invite you to not only buy this book but sign up for the upcoming Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study starting on April 9 to May 18 https://proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies.

Unfortunately, many women fall into the trap of comparison whether they choose to admit it or not. It can entangle any of us in such a hidden agenda approach that we don't even realize how much we are allowing it to control our every day choices. The deceiver is craftily at work in the mind of women, hissing guilt, shame, and lies that make them doubt God's gracious gift and promises. He steals away the hope of fully living God's plan with joy and freedom.
Nikki personally shares her heart and the worth each of us has in God's eyes. Though our physical appearances, strengths and weaknesses may look different, God has uniquely created each of us in a way to bring Him honor and glory. Believe God's truth and hear it with conviction. His evident love and desire for revealing to each of us nothing can compare with who He made you to be.

The more I read and talk to people, the more I think we all suffer from comparisons. Recently, I've read several books dedicated to the subject, and it's been something I've wrestled with a lot myself. In her new book Why Her? Nicki Koziarz tackles this subject head-on through the lens of a well-known Bible story--that of two sisters who both married the same man, and spent the rest of their lives in a perpetual state of comparison and bickering.



Jacob loved Rachel from the moment he saw her. He worked seven years to make her his bride. A terrible trick on his wedding night left him married to her older sister, Leah. Jacob agreed to work seven more years for Rachel's hand. So, he ended up married to both women. Oh boy. Can you imagine sharing your husband with another woman? Even worse, can you imagine sharing your husband with your sister? Jacob loved Rachel, and hated Leah--a fact that Rachel seemed to enjoy throwing up to her sister. It doesn't help that even the Bible says Rachel was beautiful, and Leah was...not. The situation only got worse when Leah started having babies, and Rachel couldn't.

The struggle was real, ya'll.

I've never had to share my husband with anyone. (Trust me, it ain't happening!) But, how often do I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others, and feeling like I don't measure up? More often than I care to admit here. I've come to realize that nothing good comes from comparison. Actually, comparison stems from jealousy. Ouch. That's an ugly word that we really don't like to think about. And definitely not one we want to use to describe ourselves.

We don't usually speak the "Why her?" question aloud. We don't even want to admit that we ask it. In reality it sounds kind of childish. But, in our minds, the question is alive. It comes whenever we see someone living the life that we'd like to live. Why her, and not me?
•Why do her kids behave like little angels, while I'm wrestling with mine to sit still?
•Why does she have plenty of money, while I'm struggling to pay my bills?
•Why did she get a promotion? I'm qualified, I've worked here longer, and I deserve one!
•Why is her husband so much more romantic than mine?

And the list could go on and on. We ask a "Why her?" question every time we compare our lives to someone else's, and find ourselves lacking. But, it's time to identify comparison for what it is. It's time to let it stop ruining our lives and alienating us from our friends. Comparison (jealousy) keeps us from seeing life the way it really is. It keeps us from seeing the good in our own lives, but it also hides the truth of others' lives, too. No one has the perfect life, and there is always a behind-the-scenes story that we can't see.

In her trademark 'laugh-because-you-know-it's-true' style, Nicki Koziarz brought so many truths to light for me in Why Her? I've come to see my petty jealousy for what it is. Even though I will never share Rachel and Leah's story (thank God for bigamy laws!), I can identify with their thoughts, attitudes and actions. But, this book does more that just tell you what you're doing wrong, but gives solid steps to get it right! When you read Why Her? you will be forced to take an honest look at yourself, at your life, and your comparison issues. I think we probably all know what our struggle is.

Why Her? is a great read for any woman who wants to let go of the comparison fight. Convincing us to compare ourselves to others is another trick of Satan to keep us from living up to our full potential as daughters of God. And as I've talked about many times before, there is only one way to fight the lies of Satan. We must combat his lies with truth. In Why Her? you'll find six truths that you need to hear when you start comparing yourself to someone else, and feel like you don't measure up.

I have never looked at the story of Rachel and Leah in this light before. I'll certainly never see them the same again! Their story is so full of pain, jealousy and heartbreak, when it didn't have to be! I don't want to ever look at my life and think, "I could've been so much happier, and so free, if I'd only let go of this jealousy sooner!" I'm learning to identify these jealous comparisons when they sneak up on me, and I'm trying to deal with them before they overtake me, like they did those two sisters.

Friend, I want the same for you! How wonderful the world could be if we could all enjoy the blessings that God gives to us, instead of always wanting what someone else has! If we could learn that no one's life is perfect, that we are all struggling on the same road together. If we could learn to be happy for the success of others, instead of feeling those sharp jealousy pangs. Next time I look at someone else and think, "Why her?" I'm going to take a minute to reflect on my own blessings, and find true joy and happiness in my own life.

If you'd like to get a copy of Why Her? 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind, click here.



I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my review. All opinions are my own, and a favorable review was not required. This post contains affiliate links.

In this age of social media, comparison can be a huge issue. I think it's a problem that all of us relate to at times so this book has an important message.
In it, Nicki Koziarz shares some of her own battles with comparison, she digs into the biblical story of Rachel and Leah and looks at what we can learn from their struggles with comparing themselves to one another, and she identifies six key truths that can help us gain a better perspective.
Her writing is honest, filled with humour and real-life examples, and always points back to truth. It's an easy and enjoyable read which is both encouraging and challenging, and I'd recommend it for all Christian women, especially those for whom comparison is a struggle.