This is a book I’ve been searching for and didn’t know I needed until I read the first sentence and then took a huge sigh. Someone understands my struggle with comparison I have had since I was a young girl. Someone is going to help me work through this. Someone is going to sit me down and tell me it’s time to “Be Honest” with not only myself but with God. This someone is Nicki Koziarz! In her beautifully written book, she helps us by showing us how to turn to God in each and every moment. She also opens up her heart and shares her struggles, her life and her family in such a honest and raw way. Time and time again I would say “she knows exactly how I’m feeling”. Then she takes us through the story in the Old Testament of Leah and Rachel to help us use God wisdom to see that this was an issue that has been around for more than a lifetime. I picked this up and couldn’t put it down. The journey is so beautiful and you turn the last page with a huge sigh and say “I can do this”, “I’m going to be ok”.

Great book by Nicki Koziark. The book highlights six truths spread over twelve chapters. The truths - (1) You need to be honest, (2) See it like it really is, (3) You don't always have to be okay, (4) You didn't do anything wrong, (5) Her gain is not your loss, (6) Let the success of others encourage not discourage you.
So much truth and encouragement within the pages of this book. So many highlighted texts. Using Rachel and Leah as our main examples of discontent, jealousy and "why her", the author walks with us through the lies that we may believe when we see someone else living out the life we desire. She walks us through the truths we need to rise above these lies and gives us resources and tools to fight against the "why her" moments.
The writer's style is relatable and I enjoyed reading every word even when I felt it hammering at my own guilt. The laying out of her own personal struggles without trying to sugar coat or make it look pretty really drew my heart to her and her message.
I have received a new understanding that I am appreciating and tools that I am trying to use in my life. Practical insight and advice that I can really use. This book is a great read.

Have you struggled with comparison and jealousy? It’s not easy to admit, but I have certainly struggled with it most of my life. We all have our struggles with wishing we were more like someone else.

Nicki Koziarz writes in a highly engaging style. She is self-effacing, funny, and vulnerable. She doesn’t hide behind pretenses, and that’s why I like this book so much. I’ve always been fascinated by the dynamics in the biblical account of Leah and Rachel, and Nicki does an excellent job of making their story relevant today.

This book is chock-full of sticky quotes that will help set you free from jealousy. I have page after page of virtual highlights in the Kindle version, and I’m happy to share several with you today!

Becoming transparent about what causes us to compare ourselves to others the most will keep us from needing to compare ourselves to others at all.

We often lose who we are while trying to become someone we aren’t.

Honesty can lead us to quiet places where we seek to understand rather than merely react.

Wisdom helps us move beyond the question, “Why is this happening?” to ask a wiser question: “What can I do about it?”

He exposes us to light because He doesn’t want us to become drowned by deception.

Desiring things isn’t bad, unless our desires become greater than the One who gives desires.

When life breaks us down, we always have two options: bitterness or breakthrough.

Why Her is helping me deal with hidden jealousy I didn’t even know was hiding in my heart. It’s helping me learn the value of contentment right where God has placed me, in this moment, time, and season.

Sign up today to participate in the free Proverbs 31 Ministries’ online Bible study of Why Her, running April 9 through May 18, 2018. I’ve learned so much by participating in the P31 OBS studies, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy this one!

Netgalley generously provided me a free copy of this book. I hope you like it as much as I have!

I didn’t know how much I needed this book, until I was selected to be apart of the launch team for Why Her! God’s timing is perfect in its own way! Nicki uses the story of Leah and Rachel, combined with her own wisdom and life experiences. I love how reading this book was like taking with your closest girlfriend-you know the one, the one that always gives godly wisdom and you can be yourself with-that’s the Nicki a reader experiences while reading this amazing book! I truly can not wait to re-read this book, with the study guide companion-and with my teen(teen version of the SG is available they Proverbs 31 or Lifeway).

“We have to trust God so much that if He doesn’t give it to us, we don’t want it.” -- Nicki Koziarz

The comparison struggle is often a silent one, but Why Her? Gives voice to this aching place in our hearts in the best way. I wasn’t aware of how often I’ve whispered this question until I began reading. Nicki delivers these six truths with compassion and grace, allowing us to see her just as she is and inviting us to come just as we are.
Why Her? is an invitation and a dare to shed the lies comparison has wrapped around us. To boldly cheer her on. To celebrate her without comparing ourselves to her. To find joy in who we are and allow God’s truth to have the final say.

There aren't many books that I can confidently recommend to every woman regardless of stage of life, current circumstances, career, age, etc. but Why Her? is that book! No matter where you currently find yourself, I am more than confident that this book will meet you where you are. It is filled with relatable stories and life-changing Truths that will strike your soul deeply. The message of Why Her? is solidly embedded in God's Truth and His plan of abundant life for you! I wish I could share with you all the quotes that spoke so deeply to my heart, but I'd rather let it speak directly to yours because our hearts are not the same, and the message of this books is powerful and so personal. The one quote I will leave with you is from the final chapter of the book: "Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you." I pray you will read this book and commit your heart to believing the Truth to be found on it's pages. You will not regret a single page. ~Mallory
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

In Why Her Nicki tackles the issue of comparison that many Christian women secretly struggle with. In this very vulnerable book the author takes us through six truths to help women find freedom from the comparison trap. The entire book was very beneficial to me but the truths that impacted me most was “Truth One: You need to be honest, Truth Five: Her Gain is not your lost and Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.” The author uses the biblical story of Rachel and Leah to help us navigate though walking in freedom from comparison. This book is something that you will want to savor because it’s rich with godly principles and scripture. This book would also be a great study for women’s bible study because the principles are worth sharing and discussing.

This is a well written book not only for adults but for teenagers too. We find ourselves in a world of comparrison especially in this era of social media. Nicki leads us in a bible study of Leah and Rachel that helps you realize that you are loved just the way God made you and you can live free from the trap of comparison.

This book is for every woman, young, old, single, married, divorced, widowed.

Nicki does an amazing job of talking about something we all suffer with Comparison.

She does a great job of digger into the story of Leah and Rachel in the Bible and makes it real for us today.

She shares her stories, and the 6 truths that we can all use to help us remember that God make us just the way we are and we are enough!

I have to be honest I read this book thinking that it might not really apply to me. I am older and the days of comparison with others are behind me. It was such an eye opener. Every chapter peeled back more scriptures and life situations that I need to learn and work on. The story of Rachel and Leah has been dissected and made fresh for me through this book. I am so impressed with Nicki’s transparency. I enjoy reading her books because she is real and open in all that she writes. I love the way she makes scripture pertinent to today’s issues. I recommend this book to all age groups from high school to the “more mature”.

I found Nicki’s book convicting, comforting, inspiring, and thought-changing! As Nicki opens with her own story, it’s as if you are sitting face-to-face talking with her. She makes it so relatable and easy to reflect on your own life and story. The six truths that Nicki covers help to see comparison for what it really is, a battle that can cripple us. I needed this book to help me with my own struggle with comparison. Most often we think those who are younger are the only ones that struggle with comparison. How untrue. As we grow older, our comparisons just become more complicated. I am thankful for Nicki being venerable and transparent to share her own problem with comparison so that others can deal with theirs. As she wraps up the book, she reminds us to be encouraged that God is not finished with us or our stories. We can be encouraged by others successes and know that each of our successes look differently. We can be “settled” as Nicki puts it, without settling for the seed of comparison!

Nicki’s second book is a great study of Genesis’ Rachel and Leah, 2 sisters who battle comparison issues of who is the better wife, who is prettier, who gets pregnant the most. LOL
Tackling the thoughts we all sometimes hear when we compare ourselves to others - thinking “Why Her, Lord?” “Must be nice!” and “Why Never ME!” -- Nicki’s honesty will make you laugh out loud (or whisper a sigh) alongside her as you read how she deals with her comparison struggles in everyday life. Oh, how I can relate to so many from my past! I wish I had this book 25 years ago.
Learn the 6 truths of comparison as Nicki unpacks the problem areas all women face (and many you didn’t even KNOW were issues!). She replaces these comparison problems with the real truth of God’s Word. A great book on how to tackle comparison and pack it away forever, so you can shine God’s light into the world instead.
One of my many favorite quotes: “God has given us every tool, teaching, and resource to be victorious. His Word is filled with wisdom and strategies to help us not allow our struggles to overcome us." I am looking forward to studying this with my online friends at Proverbs 31, starting Monday, April 9th!
I received a complimentary advanced reader copy of this book from the publisher, B&H.

I loved her first book and once again she’s done a wonderful job ! She digs into Scripture and finds all the information and than teaches it phenomenally

Wow. Don’t let comparison define you. Embrace 6 truths 1. You need to be honest. 2. See it like it really is. 3. You don’t always have to be ok. 4. Sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong. 5. Her gain is not your loss. 6. Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.
Conquering what comparison can do to your soul is going to look different for you than it will for the woman beside you. Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you!!

Nicki’s book Why Her? Is amazing, she gets right down to our soul! Love her

Filled with honesty and heartfelt truths, author Nicki Koziarz shares feelings that many women experience on a daily basis. Comparison is learned from an early age and how we deal with comparisons truly affects our lives and the lives of those around us. In this book, learn how to turn those negative thoughts around to realizing the blessings God has given us. The Biblical story of Rachel and Leah are used as examples. Also, true life stories from the life of the author show how even though we all have struggles, with God's help,we can turn those struggles around to be blessings. This book is filled with practical wisdom, humor and lots of love. I received a copy of this book from the author, publisher and NetGalley and this is my personal honest opinion of the book.

This book is packed with humour alongside wisdom. I love Nicki's fixer upper farm, Fred the donkey and the anecdotes Nicki shares about her family. The best part of this is the way she weaves biblical truths into it so I now remember the truths because of the stories.

Broken into easy-to-digest sections with biblical truths and practical application, this book has it all. I love the challenges like “Compare+Compliment+Calculate the cost= Take control of comparison” which has three scenarios to explain it and biblical truth to back it up! It also has easy to share quotes like “God’s purpose isn’t a battlefield for competition. It’s a safe haven of calling.” which I can hear myself sharing amongst friends and discussing.

I want the mindset shift described by her 6 truths:

You need to be honest
See it like it really is
You don’t always have to be ok (this one is FOR ME, I swear!)
Sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong (loved this one too)
Her gain is not your loss
Let others’ success and struggles steer you (such wisdom)

Wow, if I can do that, what a massive change!

Intellectually, I loved how she tackled one of the toughest stories in the Bible to understand: Rachel and Leah! It’s one I categorised as confusing but "Old Testament" but spending time digging into these verses, taking on each of their burdens and really understanding them was fascinating and enlightening.

Practically, this book is chockablock! My favourite applications are the questions she poses for me to ponder like “1. does it come from a place of jealousy? 2. does it line up with Word and character of God? 3. Does it make God look great?” as well as the ones that call us to change our behaviour today like working on your calling rather than the Netflix binge.

Other favourite lines include:

"God didn’t bless Leah for any other reason than for why He Blesses us - to help her know she was loved by Him…"
"God designed us with a desire for community. Comparison convinces us that community doesn’t exist for us."
"Abundance. God doesn’t do anything halfway. So what are you taking back today?
One thing I’ve come to fully understand about my soul is this: I’m the only one who can take care of it."
"What is a situation in your life you need to choose insight over offence?"

Nicki has an amazing gift, she has the ability to bring Old Testament characters like Leah and Rachel to life in a way I gain a new understanding of familiar texts. She relates these to her modern day anecdotes which I can apply to my life and share biblical wisdom I can live out today! She has reframed comparison and given a strong way in which I can tackle in a God-centred way. Five out of five and highly recommended!