I found this to be a great and practical read on sexuality. It was especially helpful as I think about raising girls and the messages they hear around them on sexuality.

This book is from the Christian perspective which is important to be aware before going into it. This works for me as a Christian, but certainly won't be for everyone. I appreciated that this was a book that looked at sex from this perspective without shaming or making it a dirty thing. This is important! Yes, it addresses a lot of sexual problems seen in society today, but doesn't make all sex bad or shameful while doing so.

An thorough and detailed book on a conservative Christian perspective of sexuality. The author explains the good purposes of sexuality when expressed in appropriate Christian ways as well as the value of celibacy for those experiencing it short term or lifelong.

Rethinking Sexuality is about looking at sexuality from the Biblical perspective. It is not just about homosexuality, which it doesn't condone, but so many other things under this umbrella of sexuality. I didn't find anything new and earth-shattering because I have already spent a lot of time researching and considering the issues in this book. However, if you haven't done that, it's an excellent resource.

This book does a great job of describing sexuality in the world we live in today. She perfectly summarizes our brokenness and points us to a lot of relevant scripture.

What I was hoping for was less problem, more solutions.

Dr. Juli Slattery is brilliant. She wants the church to approach this topic in a way that is more relevant. I think she likely had more to say about the solutions than she did. This could have been a 5 star read with a little more substance.

The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts

Because of a life situation I am in, I wanted to read this book. I have family embracing the LGBT community. I work at a retail store on weekends and many of my co-workers (and customers) are open about their sexuality. As a Christian, what stance should I take on these things. That was why I requested and received the review copy from NetGalley.

The book starts with what Christian Sexuality is. In that part I did not find anything new to me. I am there and though I struggle with it from time to time, I follow the 'rules'.

Then about half way through the book, she talks about interaction with the LGBT community at large. Her story of a mother of a gay girl who struggled with her talks about what I am going through. We can be all truth and lose the person, or all grace and lose ourselves. In the place of either or, we need to do both. Love the person, accept them for who they are and try to open dialogue. On the other hand, we need to not throw away our faith just because.

Another key point is what we need to do and how to address it. One awkward sermon a year is not enough if we want to not lose our children, our ourselves to an open lifestyle.We have to know for ourselves what Spiritual Purity is. If we do not know what the Bible does say, how can we hope to help anyone.

A little dry for the average reader. A good book for Bible Study groups (has questions in the back). I would recommend it for people who need a glance into this subject.

I’ve read this book as I have been interested about the subject due to a module I took at school. However I am not sure I like the book too much. Over its length, it failed to keep my attention.
Probably I will give it another shot in the future, but not too soon.

This was a great book- all Christians could benefit from reading this. A good look at sexuality, God’s word. and our views as a society today.

I didn’t really like this book. It was hard to follow along with. Maybe I don’t understand the meaning of the book.

I loved this book. Not only do I know Juli Slattery from Authentic Intimacy (https://www.authenticintimacy.com/rethinking), but I’ve heard her countless times on Christian radio. She is a professional who speaks truth. And sex needs to be talked about.

This timely book starts out strong, “Although sexuality presents an enormous challenge to Christians and the world at large, it is not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed.” Bold, yet truthful! She provides stats and research regarding the epidemic of discounting the importance of sexual purity, but also recounts the harmful effects of sex outside of the God-given boundaries.

She is also clear to point out, “The world is watching and laughing at Christians who worship the same God and read the same Bible can’t agree on God’s intention for sexuality. We can’t guide others if we ourselves are lost.” Amid the confusion of today, she’s got some answers, with glaring totality. The world can provide sexual answers, or we can go back to God, the originator of the Design and seek His will above the noise.

As the world pushes more toward postmodernism and humanism, we are sucked into the mindset that there are no standards of right and wrong, no moral compass. But is this actually true? When did what God said about the beauty and gift of sexuality become something we had the ability to define? “The transgender movement is the ultimate expression of postmodern though, denying even the biological constraints of male and female. Gender becomes something we create in our own thoughts instead of a physical reality to which we must adjust our thinking.” There has to be a movement back to the basics, back to reality where we let God speak about what He’s created, instead of letting our sinful nature draw us away from the One who designed us intimately.

So why does purity matter? Why should sex be confined to the marital bed and not out in the streets where lust takes control of us? Why does this all matter? Because we can teach the next generation about the discipleship of sexuality. “…if the church were using a discipleship model to teach about sexuality, these young people would understand the underlying spiritual importance and implications of their sexuality…they would also know how to apply the broader message of the gospel (Jesus’s love and redemption, the power of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling) to their lives in all circumstances.”

It’s that important. I applaud Dr. Slattery for being bold enough to speak out about the dangers of misusing our sexuality, mislabeling and giving into sin, instead of seeking the One who gave us the gift of gender and sexuality. We all need the Living Water.

Check out the website above. She has provided many resources for education, and check out the podcast Java with Juli for more of her content.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley and Waterbrook & Multnomah. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 (http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html): “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

This is a book everyone should be reading to rethink their view on sexuality. Dr. Juli Slattery takes you back to the beginning, back to the Bible to show you the ground rules that would apply to all of life, but for her, she focuses especially the aspect of sexuality. She lays it out clearly. We are all being sexually discipled whether we admit it or not. Either the current culture or the Bible is influencing our sexuality and we should know which one it is, because it has, not only eternal consequences, but day-to-day consequences as well.

Discipleship is a word we commonly associate with Christianity or faith of some sort, but hear what Dr. Slattery has to say about it: "Discipleship is the integration of what we believe into our everyday lives and relationships. It involves three things: (1) knowing what we believe, (2) living what we believe, and (3) passing on what we believe. Unlike education, discipleship isn't relegated to a certain time of the week or a specific area of life. Instead of telling you what to think, it trains you how to think. It doesn't solve your problem but forms your worldview." This is a really good explanation, in my opinion.

This book takes you back to the Bible to give you a groundwork on which to build, first your Christian worldview and then your Christian view of sexuality. This is not a "don't have sex before you get married and you'll be fine" kind of book. This book helps explore much deeper than that. It comes back to that worldview. "We have a multitude of Christians who will never experience the resurrection power of Jesus because they refuse to embrace the mortality of the cross."

While she doesn't condone sexual activity outside of marriage, she also challenges the married ones who are in legitimate relationships to build deeper and better relationships, to look out for the other person's needs, to see sex as a beautiful thing. Marriage, and all it involves, is a picture of God's covenant love for us and as such should be lived out in unselfishness and sacrificial love. (This is much easier said than done) A lot of us raised in conservative Christian homes especially didn't receive a lot of training on sex. It was viewed as dirty and not something to be discussed ever. No wonder today's generation has no idea how to handle it, including the Christians.

It has challenged my thinking and made me want to be even more proactive in giving the right information to my children so they are prepared to handle the onslaught from the culture's point of view. Dr. Slattery is a co-founder at Authentic Intimacy where she seeks to help those with sexual addictions, abuse, etc. to walk in victory.

My only complaint about this book, and it is so minor, but this is not a how-to book. I would have liked a bit more of how to guide in talking to my kids about sex or in just how to relate to the culture around us. But Dr. Slattery does give many principles and guidelines, even if she doesn't give a three step approach for the tough conversations.

I received this book from NetGalley and all opinions are my own.

Another great book by Dr. Juli!! She hits topics head on and goes for the necessary and needed topics that Christians today need to talk about; the topics that can't just be brushed under the rug any longer.

Well written and researched there is so much good information in this book that I cannot say enough about it. Just read it.

There is so much that plagues the world today and sex crimes, porn, addiction, and plain old still keeping it hush hush and a secret are all part of the problem. This book brings this all up and more.

I was not impressed by this book. Most of it is made up of saying cliche church stances and places an immense amount of weight on the "shoulds' of relationships.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

If we are honest, it is necessary to admit how difficult it is to talk about private issues, how much more it is when we need to talk about sexuality! That is why I consider Juli Slattery a very brave woman. Some time ago, we were studying with a group of women his book "Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? it was a very enriching experience (with the videos, book of work and also, the sincere and enriching comments of the women who took it). So when I saw this book, I thought: you have to read it!. Lately I am reading a lot of this topic, since we have seen very deep problems in this area and we can see that they are taboo subjects that rarely anyone else will try ... This is a useful, practical and necessary resource for this generation, but if not you will read the previous one you can read it to teach them in these topics. Therefore, I recommend this book if you are in charge of a group of women, you are a mother, educator or Pastor's wife, if you are a counselor, psychologist or you are in a place of influence where they ask you questions on the subject continuously.

This book was published on July 24, 2018. You can buy it here.

#RethinkingSexuality #NetGalley #IReallyLikeToReadALot

About the book: "This ground-breaking resource challenges and equips Christians to think and act biblically and compassionately in matters of sexuality. Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and His work for us on earth. It provides a framework from which to understand the big picture of sexual challenges and wholeness, and helps you recognize that every sexual question is ultimately a spiritual one. It shifts the paradigm from combating sexual problems to confidently proclaiming and modeling the road to sacred sexuality. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness--your own or someone else's.

I feel like I need to present everyone with a massive amount of backstory before delving in to the awesomeness that is Rethinking Sexuality. However, I assume most of you want to know more about the book than about me - and trust me, I would too, if I were in your shoes. 

One of the greatest disservices I believe the church has performed, is it's teachings - or lack thereof - on sexuality. Dr. Slattery reiterates this throughout the book. The church goes out of its way to discourage open discussion of sex. This, in turn, raises up generations of individuals who are unable to shake away the shame and disgust they feel about themselves and their sexual experiences. 

My husband is a seminary graduate, and we've talked on multiple occasions about how the greatest enemies in modern Christianity and the church, are Christians. When I think about the New Testament and how the Pharisees responded to Christ and His followers, I am reminded of how some modern Christians respond to people. Their haughty, better-than-you attitude damages not only those searching for Christ, but those who have found Christ but are struggling with what it means to live a Christian life. Dr. Slattery discusses how Christians react to certain situations. Specifically members of the LGBTQ community. She discusses how most Christians either respond by focusing on, and passionately sharing, the truth of the Bible; or by the grace we are given by God. In reality, neither is perfectly correct. Instead, we need to find a balance between truth and grace. This is far easier said than done, as the only person to have perfected this balance was Jesus Christ.

It's easy to tell someone they aren't alone, that other people have gone, and are going, through the same things they are. Dr. Slattery goes a step further by providing actual correspondence of individuals experiencing hurt, doubt, brokenness, etc. She didn't have to tell me I wasn't alone, she showed me. 

My own sexual experiences have left me feeling ashamed and dirty, and while 2 years of therapy have been life changing, it has not changed those feelings. I can agree with Dr. Slattery that my response and relationship to sexuality affects my response and relationship to God. That doesn't mean I can change the way I feel overnight.

I loved every aspect of this book. I am, like Dr. Slattery, sad at how many people will not read it simply because she is a psychologist. In the world of Christianity that solely supports biblical counseling (let's not even get me started), people who need to read this book will shun it. 

If you're married, single, Christian, non-Christian, male, female, LGBTQ, whatever, and you want to better understand God's design for sexuality without coming away feeling ashamed and worthless, you need this book. Really. It's time for the church to make a stand. It's time to preach about sexuality from the pulpit. Bring it out of the darkness and into the light - the first steps of healing shame. Instead of spending so much time, effort, and energy on teaching people nothing about sex, or drilling into their heads how exceptionally sinful it is outside the bounds of marriage, the church should put forth an effort to discuss sex in the light of God's love and grace.

5/5

This book poses many questions, good questions, deep questions, and questions that every Christian should consider in light of the scripture. However, the book did not give me many answers and perhaps that is what I was searching for. Sexuality is more, shall I say, out there and in our face, now than at any other time in Christianity. There are so many opinions, both amongst Christians, and in the world, that are strongly held and widely broadcast whether we are interested in hearing them or not. I was looking to this book as a source to answer some of these questions in a way that might be used when counseling or leading others who have been sexually broken. If I were asked the questions that are posed in the book, I don’t feel that I am any better equipped to answer them for others than I was before I read the book. That said, this is a worthwhile book and does cause you to think, but does not give enough answers or information to change the way you think to a better or more Christlike way of thinking.

Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and His work for us on earth. It provides a framework from which to understand the big picture of sexual challenges and wholeness, and helps you recognize that every sexual question is ultimately a spiritual one. It shifts the paradigm from combating sexual problems to confidently proclaiming and modeling the road to sacred sexuality.
Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness--your own or someone else's.

Dr. Slattery affirms the reasons why we need to rethink sexuality and presents a new phrase: sexual discipleship. She then lays out God’s design for sexuality. Books of this nature and on this subject can come across as clinical and daunting to everyday lay people. However, the way Slattery has written appeals to the general reader and she includes several of her personal counseling and teaching experiences with real-life people that carries authenticity beyond just theory and facts. She relates well and understands the profound struggles of many.

I was provided an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Gary Thomas once confessed: "One day it dawned upon me. We have been sexually discipled by the world." Indeed, we have been taken for a ride by the world. It is time to take back the reins of education to be God's people for all. It is time to renew our understanding of our calling in this world. It is time to rethink sexuality. That is the purpose of this book: Rethinking our sexuality from the ground up, beginning with our relationship with God; our honesty with self; and our relationship with others. Written for a wide group of people including parents, teachers, pastors, lay leaders, and Christians, this book is about addressing the current state of confusion surrounding sexual issues such as loneliness, shame, addiction, intimacy, disagreement, pornography, sexual abuse, cohabitation, masturbation, sexual orientation, and much more. Slattery makes the assertion that sexuality is "not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed." Thus, conventional sexual education and purity abstentions do not work. For the former, educational model tends be too reductionist. For the latter, it is to reactive to the excesses of sexuality. The author claims that the way forward is "sexual discipleship." For too long, our answers to the sexual questions of the day tend to be based on how our cultures would respond. For instance:

Cultural approaches to sexuality tend to be humanistic or postmodern which jettisons the notion of right and wrong; in favour of whatever we feel appropriate
Transgender rights insist on the freedom of experience based on a postmodern philosophy of gender identities according to what we want
Doing simply because everybody else is doing it!
Sexual discipleship means we exalt Christ above all, including our sexuality. Slattery gives us several reasons why we need to talk about sexuality. For individuals, we need to find hope. For churches, we need to grow up and relate to the new generation. We need not feel like Adam and Eve who were ashamed about themselves and their nakedness. Part One of the book deals with one's relationship with God. Using the 5Ps as alliteration, Slattery lists as follows:
The Premise: What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.
The Purpose: The gospel is written within your sexuality.
The Problem: Someone wants to destroy holy sexuality.
The Pandemic: We are all sexually broken.
The Promise: Jesus came to redeem broken sexuality.

Part Two is more introspective as we learn to live our beliefs. In doing so, we need to face three primary conflicts: 1) our flesh vs our spirituality; 2) Our public vs Private selves; 3) Love vs Truth. Spiritual discipleship is essentially about dealing with these conflicts so as to ensure that Christ is honoured. Part Three applies spiritual discipleship to our wider relationships: Our personal relationships and as a Church. Some of the questions she pose includes:

What can we do in a destructive relationship?
Should we attend a gay marriage ceremony?
What if our spouse has no desire for sex?
How modern TV programmes and movies affect our sexual perspectives?
How do we interact with transgenders?
What to do with Christian leaders with moral failures?
... and several more.

My Thoughts
First, this is a needed book in a culture full of confusing sexual messages and corrupt images. Hollywood and popular TV stations tend to opt for programming that appeals to the widest audiences. Their positions are are pretty much amoral. Where the money is, there they would go. After all, educating the public is not their primary responsibility. Profit making is. With the pervasiveness of the Internet, it is increasingly impossible to control what our kids and out young people see. In the past, we can switch off the TV or limit the programming through parental controls. Nowadays, even if we were to turn off our WiFi at home, children can surf the net using their cellphones and tablets running on generous data plans.

Second, sexual discipleship seems like a very big word which might scare off ordinary lay persons. This is not the style of this book. The term may look intimidating, but the contents and the way Slattery has written appeals to the general reader. In fact, she has includes a lot of her personal counseling and teaching experiences with real-life people that carries an authenticity that is beyond theory and facts. She relates well and understands the profound struggles of many.

Finally, sexual discipleship is spiritual warfare. I am grateful for Slattery's reminder of the three primary challenges of the world on the biblical perspective. One of the reasons for the lack of Christian responses to the world prescriptions for sex and sexuality is because of the lack of Christian witnesses in this area. Being Christian is not about taking the purity pledge or some abstention of sexual activity. It is about honouring God in all things we do. This book shows us exactly how to do just that. We need a biblical response more than ever. We need a more holistic view of sexuality. We need to stop letting the world lead the way in learning about sexuality.

Dr. Juli Slattery is a popular clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional. She is the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She hosts Java With Juli on Moody Radio, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy. She has authored books such as Passion Pursuit, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, No More Headaches, and Guilt-Free Motherhood. She and her husband, Mike, have been married since 1994 and have three children.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Multnomah and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

I appreciated the author's view of sex and relationships. I believe our bodies are our greatest gift from a loving Heavenly Father and we should treat them as such.

A much needed and extremely important book for our times. Every Christian needs to read this book!