I just could not get into this. The characters were delightful, and things were starting to pick up around the 25%-ish where I dnf'ed, but the writing style just didn't reel me in. This is 100% on me and most definitely not on the book, but I don't want to force myself to read something that I think I will love but also know will leave me cranky. I think this is one of those books that I need to get a physical copy of of to have laying around and read a few pages of at a time, because I really want to finish this, and I will, one day, but that day is not today.

The pacing was a bit too slow for me, which is why it took me a while to get into it. Still, it's a cute book with an important representation, and a fun plot that doesn't focus on character's coming out story.

I'm a little torn up about this one.. I loved Itche and Ari, but I had so much trouble with all the Jewish slang in the book and their ways and such that I barely understood anything and it took me forever to get through.. I believe that, if I had a better understanding of the Jewish religion it would've been easier..

Itche and Ari were great and I'm sure they're up to awesome things!

What a delight to read! Jewish characters! Trans characters! Trans characters who are also Jewish and enjoy being part of their faith and participate in service! I found the opening chapter incredibly slow, but I think that's because the 'narrator' was finding the voice. (also didnt enjoy casual uses of deadnames, but oh well).

As a former thespian and a fan of Jane Austen, I really was excited to read The Right Thing to Do at the Time. This definitely is the product of a Fiddler on the Roof and Pride and Prejudice mashup with a trans male main character, but unfortunately the style of writing was not for me and I struggled to get into the narrative from the first page. The omnipresent narrator is bouncing all over the place in a way that works in a play but not as easy to execute in a novel. I felt like I was listening to a drunk friend ramble and not make any sense. This is the same reason that I dislike reading Charles Bukowski.

DNF at 16%, I really tried but the writing style completely turned me off from an interesting tale. Just because the writing style wasn't for me, doesn't mean that you won't enjoy this book.

I finished reading this very queer and very Jewish take on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice a few days ago. It took me some time to process the book. Likewise, it took me some time to get into the book.

Let’s deal first with why it took me so long to commit to the story and it’s characters. I’ll be honest here and admit that I put this down several times to read other books. Why? Thinking back on it, all I can attribute it to is culture shock. I didn’t get the world Itche and Ari were from. I couldn’t see it; or rather I didn’t allow myself to see it by putting this book aside so often in he beginning. This book is very New York and very Jewish (I don’t mean to offend anyone here). These are two things I am not. There are long rambling sections of dialogue or pontificating on the meaning of life, music and noodles. Some of these sections just got very long and boring for me. Little appeared to happen.

But something was happening. All this talk of life, of noodles of kugel, of inaction set the stage for the actual story. True, I wish it could have been done more adroitly, but hey, who am I to stop a violin teacher in the middle of a two page monologue?

The stage has been set and the actors cast: Ari, a transgender man, is Elizabeth. Itche, his best friend, is Jane. Jeremy, Ari’s younger brother is Lydia. Ari’s parents, the Wexlers, play Mr. and Mrs. Bennett although Mrs. Wexler locks herself in her study, and Mr. Wexler anxiously frets over everything and drinks alka seltzer like it’s going out of style.

In essence, the genders (cis and trans) are flip-flopped for just about everyone in the original P&P. It was refreshing to get to this part of the story. I felt more settled, grounded and I recognized the layout of the scenes. Of course, the ending is not what Austen gave us—what would be the fun in that?

Who ends up with whom? Who is queer? Who is not? Does it even matter when it’s about love? How much can friendship love transgress before it becomes more? These are some of the questions that surfaced while reading this retelling of a classic romance. And they are questions to which I still have no clear answer.

I do know, however, that the more I read this book, the more enchanted I became by its complexity and subtlety. By it’s humor (Ari’s fumbling of his soft pack in the gym bathroom stall had me laughing out loud)! If you’re looking for a queer romance, this is one. If you’re looking for MM romance, ask yourself how much or little are you willing to compromise on that.

So, after my culture shock; after easing myself back in and making myself brave this crazy world Dov Zeller created for us, I happily set forth knowing that, at least, I had a very well known and trodden original path to fall back on.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when a book takes your breath away at every other page with its utter gorgeousness, leaving you gaping in awe at the words, you are in danger of turning into a bubbling mess of excitement. And here I stand as a proof of that.

From the first page, I was completely engrossed in the story thanks to the brillant writing style and unique narrative perspective. Each sentence is filled with a delightful, witty humour and a bittersweet irony that aims straight for the depths of the human experience.

"We're always reaching out for something, trying to catch it in our hands, love or happiness, those bright little fireflies in the starless night of our minds."

Ari Wexler struggles with the same questions, insecurities and obstacles that we all have to face during our lives. He is stuck in a job he doesn't truly enjoy, has to deal with a range of family issues, and feels trapped between the impossibilty of finding love and the pressure exerted by the ones around him to be in a romantic relationship. After long series of failures in the last department, he swears to give up on it altogether, but there is an emptiness inside him that threatens to become overwhelming. Encouraged by certain friends and family, and pushed to the limits by circumstances, he gradually gathers the courage to take some risks and gains a new outlook on how to lead his life. He undergoes an organic development from the scared, indecisive, lost "noodle" thinking "he could not tolerate having what he could not tolerate losing" to someone who is willing to accept that fear, not allowing it to stay in his way while making the most of what the world has to offer him. It's much easier hiding away, isolating oneself in a cocoon of solitude and missed opportunities. But, as Kimmelman says to Ari, when doing that "the thing you're keeping yourself from is fullness." So Ari decides to see where his interest in music might take him. This activity of his brings forth various views concerning art, including his teacher's passionate outbursts and polemic dialogues with other characters.

Undoubtedly, one of the greatest things this book suceeds in achieving is revealing the thin line separating friendship from romance, how one merges into the other, dangerously shifting, igniting confusion, anxiety and indicating the possibility of change. There are affectionate friends who openly declare their love for each other, cuddle and constantly kiss on the cheek. There are long-time friends who have been in love with each other, but don't risk compromising their bond. There are people who started off by dating, ending up in a platonic relationship. Friendship can take a lot of forms, and have so many facets and underlying mysteries. To quote again this treasure of a book: "There's nothing wrong with wrestling with a question of friendship and love and the distance between them. It's not a bad question. (...) it's delicate like the filament of a lightbulb. It can be seen at infinite angles, and at each angle lies a distinct world that blossoms into understanding and out of it again."

Did I mention that the protagonist is a trans male? And that pretty much everyone is part in some way of the LGBTQ+ community and is Jewish? There is also a character who is bipolar. Now this right here is the diversity we need and deserve.

I loved seeing one of my favourite books being transposed into modern times in such a creative manner that gave it a sense of freshness while still mantaining the core of the story. The parallels between characters and events, the gender switches, the ever-present ridiculous and burdensome expectations or norms imposed on us, and society's flaws were all masterfully integrated into a whimsical, profound book that should get so much more recognition than it does.

[Excerpt]
I was initially drawn to this book because I want to read more LGBTQ+ stories, and since the plot followed that of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice,” I of course had to check it out to see if that was true. The title was odd, purely because it’s so long, and that’s another reason I decided to request a copy. There were a lot of things about this book that made me go, “Hmm. I wonder what this is about.”

And I wasn’t wrong. This book was both weird and interesting. I have to say first and foremost that I enjoyed the first half of the book more than the second half. I was intrigued by the opening chapters. There was a narrator who described himself as a “salesman” and yet he exuded an air of otherworldliness, as if he could be a god or some sort of angelic/spiritual presence. He described himself as all-knowing and/or omniscient, which furthered my belief that he was something “more.” In a way, this first narrator broke the fourth wall by establishing that, yes, this story, Ari’s story, was going to be told, and that it was, in fact, a story.
[Full review on my blog!]

This was generally really well put together, with excellent pacing, interesting characters and a plot that sucks people in. The setting and characters come through particularly vividly, with both enough cultural beats to make it seem very authentic but not alienate unfamiliar readers.

This had all the makings of something I would like. I picked it up because of the fantastic pitch and the whole summary sounded amazing. But I read about 30% and it didn't grab me - it didn't make me want to keep reading. It is such a shame because I don't even really know why. So I want to list what I loved and what didn't draw me.

I liked...

I loved that our MC is Trans and Jewish. There is wonderful Jewish representation throughout. There's this fantastic self-introspective narrative voice that is just so clever. I am such a sucker for family dynamic books and this one has so much in this area! The friendship Ari has with his best friend, Itche, is really important to him and also this book.

But?

It didn't grab me

Unable to review, as I was unable to get into the writing style.

This was an excellent unexpected find. A gender-bent, extremely Yiddishistic retelling of Pride and Prejudice with a trans male protagonist, a meddling matchmaker father, a lost-in-thought philosophy-professor mother, a haughty young lady who doesn't know how to express her emotions, and an array of bumbling relatives and acquaintances set on a stage of Torah services, bar mitzvahs and snowstorms in New York City. As a transgender Jewish librarian I was of course predisposed to enjoy a book whose protagonist is also a transgender Jew who works in a library, and I enjoyed both the intensely Yiddish flavor of the story (is it a Mendele the Book-Peddler comedy or a Sholem-Aleichem style romantic meditation on life?) and the cleverness of the gender-swapped reworking of Austen. Absolutely delighted.

Update: this book will be coming out in March... “A Queer Romantic Comedy”. The dialogue is witty- wise - funny- and enjoyable!!!! The leading man is a trans Jewish guy!
For all of those who read Netgalley books - this will be available to request on Netgalley soon.


OH MY GOD!!!
I’m so excited to see this book here!!!
It's sooooooo CHARMING & MOVING & WONDERFUL!!!!

I read this book last year. I'm friends with Dov.
Dov's talented - insightful- wise -bright as hell - and a born storyteller.

The characters are priceless --
Great dialogues--
Great writing throughout--

"I believe you spend your life in some kind of hiding place, and you think you're safe from danger and harm, and one of these days you'll wake up and realize that the thing you're keeping yourself from is fullness".

Ari and Itche are friends - both Jewish.
Ari is a transsexual
They both have memories from camp when they were younger...

Much going on... music themes - complicated families- friendships - a wonderful tribute to both the Jewish experience and trans folks.

It's bursting with vibrant characters.....

It's a soulful novel that will steal your heart....hilarious, tender, and deeply affecting.!

Thank you DOV!!!! I loved your book when you first sent it to me - and I’m sooo looking forward to many MANY more people reading it.

Oh boy. This is not a book for everyone. It clearly wasn't for me. And I don't mean because of the story - that's actually really cool - but because of the writing. We get this weird, old-fashion omniscent narration (think that's were our story begins & I will tel you now about our protagonist) & it's the kind you have to like in order to enjoy and be able to read a whole book written like that. I don't. For me, reading this was like listening to a drunk, male relative at a boring family gathering, who doesn't make any sense & doesn't know what he's talking about himself but who really loves the sound of his own voice. So, my worst nightmare basically.

I'm really sorry about this since I was actually so excited about this book. I mean, a Jewish retelling of "Pride and Prejudice" with a trans leading guy! A dream coming true! And yet... I know forcing myself to read something that makes me roll my eyes every 3 seconds will only end with me hating the story alltogether...

To begin with I'd like to talk about just how beautiful the cover of this novel is and although people (and myself) always say don't judge a book by its cover, how could you not? Personally I believe this portrays the whole story fairly well - New York, a violin and a whole lot of being pulled in different directions.

Ari is a trans male who has no clue what he wants from life, has sworn off love and is only just content with how things are. He works in a music library and plays the violin on the side. His best friend a cisgender male named Itche (pronounced Itchy) is a set designer and a romantic, both live in New York and both have trouble with love and life. Both of these characters are Jewish, and in their mid 20's. This book is written in third person but focuses on Ari for the most part. Oh and it's a romantic comedy.

Now for my own completely personal opinions, to being with this book did something strange to my reading habit, if I enjoy a book I can't wait to pick it up and can't get my nose out of it without promise of food, other books I have to persuade myself to pick it up and am slow to finish it. Meanwhile with this book it took me time to pick it up but once I had I couldn't stop reading it. Basically I enjoyed it.

My favorite character in this book was Bubbie Pearl - Ari's grandmother, who was smart, witty and extremely funny. She seemed to be good at making Ari think about what he wanted in life, but managed to annoy him by calling him Arnold. All the characters felt very real to me, with real emotions, ambitions and in the case of Ari, real slumps in life. I have had moments in my life when I feel I'm only doing what I'm doing to get by, so Ari's state of mind for the majority of the book was highly relatable.

Throughout the story, I was constantly intrigued to know what was happening with Itche, Ari, Talia and Helen (Talia and Helen are best friends and became acquaintances then friends with Ari and Itche), who all seemed confused about who was interested in whom. And for a long time I assumed Ari and Itche were together (as did Talia). A question that was in the back of the book under the title Book Group Questions was "What, if anything, distinguishes friendship and romantic love in this novel?" - I found that to be rather an interesting question as I have always found it hard to tell the difference between friendship and romantic love in my own life and it is clear in this story that perhaps Zeller's intention was to have multiple friendships that could be perceived as either romantic or not, so that during a lot of the book you had to make your own decisions about the character. And by making your own assumptions about the characters, the story would most likely pan out in each persons head slightly differently, I like that idea.

Although for the majority of the book I felt rather indifferent to what was happening, the last few chapters had my heart racing as did the scenes where Ari's internal monologue seemed to take over for a chapter, Zeller had a beautiful way of writing the train of though for someone who second guesses everything and who is very religious. I haven't really said much about the presence of Judaism in this novel yet, because I have no knowledge of it, or any religion for that matter and I have chosen not to comment on that theme for that very reason. I did enjoy reading a book with the main character being highly religious but I have no idea how religiously accurate everything written was. I did feel a sense calm that Zeller managed to portray through Ari during the services he attended, but again I can't comment.

Due to my lack of knowledge on Judaism I think I missed out on a lot of what this book was about but even dismissing that theme, I understood what was happening and still greatly enjoyed the book. I have noticed in various places that this book has been tagged as a modern Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin - this is something again I can't comment on as I have never read anything by Jane Austin.

I really enjoyed the short and sweet chapters, and have completely fallen in love with Ari and Itche, so much in fact that when it finished I made an odd sort of squealing sound that basically said, oh please I want to know what happens now. I have high hopes for this book in my own opinion.

I wouldn't pass this book on to my mum like I have often said I would with books I review but I would definitely give it as a present to friends! A perfect YA Romance Comedy novel.