Saving Beck was one of the most emotional books I’ve ever read. I knew going in it was going to be tough. Between the subject matter, and the fact that it is based off a true story, the authors story, I knew I was in for it. To be honest, nothing could have prepared me for the emotions I went through while reading this book.

Reading anything about addiction for me is always heartbreaking. The thing I loved most about Saving Beck was being able to see addiction and what it caused, through two different perspectives. One through Beck who was the addict. And the other through his mother Natalie. Seeing how addiction affected both of their lives in similar and different ways was interesting. My heart broke for Beck because I knew how sad he was, and how far down the hole he had gotten. And my heart hurt for Natalie who had to live everyday distraught by recent events that occurred in her life and coming to terms with the fact that her son was a drug addict.

Beck and Natalie’s story felt real… It was real… It is real. While reading this book, I felt EVERY WORD. Courtney shared her story through these pages, and I knew that. I FELT that.

I don’t really want to give away a single thing that happens in this book. I can’t recommend this enough. It was so powerful. So heartbreaking. So REAL.

Saving Beck is the story of a mother and sons journey through the life of addiction and redemption. Beck and his mother Natalie’s story is one that will stay with me. Their journey through pain and addiction is one I won’t forget.

Courtney, I thank you for sharing this story!

This novel was emotional. That is the best word I can describe for Saving Beck. The messages that are delivered in this stunning story was absolutely breathtaking. Courtney has blown me away yet again with her writing style, her ability to create such complexities within the dynamics of her characters. Painfully brutal – overwhelmingly powerful and intense. I cannot gush enough about how Saving Beck, how Courtney stole my speckled heart.

Told by the perspective of Natalie, the mother of three, the family implodes after the death of her husband. This is hugely traumatic, especially for her. There is a moment of just pure raw pain for Natalie that you just cannot help but sympathize – how could someone deal with that? It is earth shattering. Natalie mentally and emotionally ‘checks out’, she cannot function.

On top of the spiraling depression of Natalie, her eldest son Beckitt or Beck starts devolving from the traditional ‘all American teenager’ to someone dealing with their own coping mechanism – addiction. At first Beck stepped in as the main caregiver for his younger siblings while their mother emotionally checked out of their lives, however this took a huge toll on him mentally and emotionally as well. Being a teenager is hard enough, given the current situation of their family, instability of their lives – it is too much.

Two main issues within this family were addition and depression. Natalie was supposed to be the adult but it is natural to fall apart – hell she lost her husband, it takes a catastrophic domino effect of the stability of any human being mental capacity. But where she fails is that she is still the adult, she wasn’t there. Beck reacted in the way he felt he needed to, he needed his mother, his father – his sanity. A lot of people who have dealt with addiction, or seen addiction first hand with narcotics don’t realize that this is how they shut the world, how they shut their brains down. It has such a powerful message that just still pounds at my chest.

As a reader I personally really connected with both Natalie and Beck. The mindset you have, to shut things down or off, it is hard. As you get more and more pain from Natalie then dealing with actually saving Becky from himself, it just played something on me that was beyond realistic.

This was such a fantastic read. It really tugged at the tethers in my heart. Riveting, powerful, beautifully shattering with all the right amounts of raw emotions to bring a smile to your lips or a tear to your eyes.

Saving Beck is a tough book to read, especially if you've had anyone in your family who is an addict. Saving Beck is a tough book to read if you haven't had anyone in your family who is an addict because it gives you a glimpse into a world which happens to "other people." Saving Beck is a tough book to read because it is real and we don't want it to be real. We want it to be something that is made up. That we can ignore.

This is going to be a difficult review for me. I always try not to give spoilers. Rather I talk about character development and plot. This book unfolds and develops in a chaotic manner. Life is chaos when you deal with Addiction. It isn't fair, it isn't predictable and it definitely isn't kind. It vomits hurtful words that years later, though you have "forgiven" that person, a small part of you is still in pain when you think about those hurtful things that were tossed your way in the heat of the moment. It cuts you to think a part of them blames you still for being who you are. For seeing your life as easy. For making better choices, when it was their bad choices which led you to make the smarter ones.

It is wondering if when they were gone did someone hurt them? Did they do things they didn't want to do for drugs and alcohol? Did they not see you did some of the same just so someone would pretend to care about you? It is hiding your medication when they are around because you still cannot trust them. Addiction is evil and Cole has done a good job of bringing her heart, and an important subject to the forefront with enough empathy and just enough craziness that the book is not over the top.

As a reader I hated both Natalie and Beck at times, even Sam and Kit. How could no one even think of going to grief counseling? For all the caring Kit and Sam had for them, why was grief counseling never brought up? Why wasn't depression and medication, diet and exercise? Natalie should have been on an anti-depressant not Xanax. IF she had of been, IF they had been in individual AND family counseling, Beck may not have become and Addict. We can guess. We can speculate. We are on the outside looking in. We can never know. Because bad things happen to good people as Cole has shown.

Saving Beck by Courtney Cole may be one of the most difficult books you read this year — especially if you’re the parent, family member or friend of someone you love struggling with addiction.

Beckitt (Beck) Kingsley is a model son and student. He’s a star high school football player being scouted by major colleges, and he loves a wonderful girl. His father, Matt, and his mother, Natalie, along with his two younger siblings are one of those families that seemingly have everything — love for each other, a comfortable home, good friends.

One night, a car accident changes all that—Matt is killed and Beck (the driver of the vehicle), barely survives. Beck’s mother, Natalie, goes into a deep depression and it’s upon Beck’s shoulders to care for his siblings and the household. It all becomes too much — grief over his father, coupled with anger and fright at his mother’s incapacity to function. Beck starts stealing Natalie’s medication. From there it’s onto other drugs, numbing his grief and pain. Soon, Beck needs something stronger and is on the streets buying heroin from dealers. He disappears for days, weeks—until one night Beck shows up back at home, in the throes of an overdose that leaves him convulsing at the front door as his mother rushes to get help for her son. It’s this frightening scene that opens Saving Beck.

Told in alternating POV’s that are primarily flashbacks, the author, Cole, describes in horrific and sad detail the events that lead to Beck in an ICU, fighting for his life. Saving Beck is well written and any reader will recognize early on that this story is, in fact, being told from experience—an author’s note From Courtney Cole confirms that her son is a recovering addict.

I recommend Courtney Cole’s Saving Beck for anyone, family or friend, who needs to be reassured that there is hope for the addicted, that one must never give up—be it the addict or their loved ones.

This is one of those books that's almost impossible to review. It's poignant making it difficult to say anything negative without coming across a heartless. Luckily I don't feel like I have any true negative feelings toward this book, except for dang-it, I don't like to cry when I read, haha.

This is one of those book that makes you think: Would this be me? Would I become this? Would I react like this? It makes you wonder how deep pain can go and how far are you willing to let it burrow into your soul. What are you willing to do to make the pain stop? How would you grieve? This book is a good reminder to all of us that it doesn't matter how strong you are. It's not about being weak. It's not about the bonds that you have with family and friends. Anxiety doesn't care. Depression doesn't care. Addiction doesn't care. They can take anyone, anywhere, anytime, and once you're wrapped in their arms escape is a matter of life or death.

This is a book that comes from the heart and soul of the author. She is able to create such a realistic story because she has lived this truth, the truth of a child with an addiction. It's hard to imagine the pain and fear that a parent goes through watching their child killing themselves in the hopes of stopping their pain and knowing that the child has to make the decision to live on their own, that we as the parent can not force them. Ms. Cole paints it vividly and heartbreakingly. Her pain and the pain of her child flow off the page and straight into your heart. You will feel in some minuscule way that you walked beside Beckett and Natalie, that you suffered with them. It's in the way Ms. Cole describes the small things that bring the book to life. The number of times Natalie paces the hospital waiting room, the blend between reality and hallucination while Beckett struggles through addiction and sobriety. The desperate beleif that 'your' child isn't falling apart, that everyone is is just making things up. The pain...for me it always comes back to the pain. It is in every corner of this book, even when there is happiness, the pain, regret, fear, it lingers.

Saving Beck is a reminder that life is fragile and it only takes one moment to change it all. What will we do with our moments? How will we react to them and to others? How do we change the current environment the has allowed opioid addiction to become an epidemic? How will YOU look at the world differently now that Saving Beck has given you a small look into addition and the toll it takes on the addicted and their family. What is your truth and how willing are you to be honest about it?

Saving Beck is not a light read. It is emotional from the moment you start the dedication to well long after you close the back cover. It's a book that will leave a little of it's pain in your heart, but I promise you that you need it there. You need to see, to feel, to begin to understand so that when all is said and done maybe we can make a difference.
~ HAPPY (well....anyway) READING ~

Speechless. That is how I was finishing this book. Courtney delivered a raw, honest story about addiction and what it can do with a family. It’s a book you’ll be thinking about for years to come. Loosely based in her son’s war against drugs, you can feel the truth behind those words. It broke my heart, but at the same time, I felt like part of the family and fighting with them for everything. I cried, I sobbed, and I’m another person after reading it. Days after finishing it, sometimes I’m trying to discovery if there was a reason for all that happened. Is there a culprit? More than one? Was everyone a victim? Read the book, you’ll not regret it.

Life is never perfect, no matter how hard you try to achieve balance. Adding a traumatic event to the mix, and life can unravel in the most unexpected of ways. From the outside – Natalie seemed to have it all. Until one fateful night changed the course of her family’s life in ways none of them could have imagined.



Natalie was a typical suburban mother raising three children while happily married. Now tragedy has riddled their home in the most unimaginable ways. Deeply rooted in grief, Natalie is no longer present in the daily lives of her family. The responsibilities of the home are resting on the shoulders of Natalie’s oldest child…..Beckitt. Getting the younger siblings ready for school, making sure they are fed, and putting them to bed at night has all become the daily routine for a young man that should be thinking about college. What no one realizes is just how precarious this situation actually is headed.



Beck is harboring his own secrets. At some point, the teen begins to require help coping with the daily demands at home. That help comes in the form of marijuana and prescription drugs. Bit by bit the temporary relief that Beck feels from these forms of comfort quickly transform into an addiction. As his life spirals out of control, Beck begins to withdraw from the things that have brought him so much joy in life. No one is immune from Beck’s spiral into another life.



With pain and depression overtaking her own life, Natalie fails to notice how desperate things have become with Beck. As family and friends point out the possibilities of something major occurring with Beck, Natalie brushes off the suggestions. A crisis that spirals to a point of hopelessness in this sea of pain and turmoil. Now that Natalie realizes the depth of Beck’s circumstance, the damage is far beyond a simple hug or phone call. How can Natalie help Beck without losing herself in the process??



First let me start by saying you NEED this book in your collection!! Courtney Cole has written a poignant tale of how the nation’s opiate crisis affects each member of a family. Told from the parent and addicts perspectives, this novel will lead readers on a painful and necessary look into the devastation that addiction has on each person in a family.



While Cole has been very vocal about her son’s own struggle with addiction and the toll it takes on a family, the author dives into the trauma of this fictitious family head on. While so many families find themselves in similar situations, how they handle the toll of addiction varies from person to person. As I read this novel, I couldn’t help feeling so much emotion for the characters. The destruction evident with each turn of the page.



Awareness often seems like a mute point when dealing with addition. After all the ‘just say no’ campaign no longer seems to work in this climate. Cole gives readers the gritty realistic views of just how hard it is to overcome a disease that is fueled by the accessibility of the drugs that lead this ever increasing epidemic.



This novel is brutally honest. In fact – it’s the most realistic glimpse into the darkness that I have probably ever read to date. The emotions…..well, there were times where I felt a tear run down my face more than I could have anticipated. The realism of a disease that grips so many detailed with each turn of the page. Saving Beck is definitely one book that will restore your belief in faith, hope, and the journey of unending love.

I sometimes hate writing reviews when a book is so personal to the author. You want to do their book justice but at the same time you want to be honest. So here is my honest review and I hope it lives up to the book while remaining what I cherish. Honesty.

Saving Beck is a story about one boys drug addiction and a mother who would do anything to save him. It’s told in multiple POV’s. We have, Natalie, the mom and Beck, the son. After losing her husband and his father to a car wreck they both spiral in their own ways. Natalie becomes extremely depressed and retreats into her own world while shutting everyone in it out. Including her kids. We go back and forth from the present and past to make sense of exactly what went wrong.

Beck has to step up and become like a parent figure to his younger brother and sister. If he doesn’t they’ll go without eating and never bathe or brush their teeth or comb their hair. While doing this he’s having his own personal demons that he can’t deal with. He keeps them contained and that only last so long before anger and resentment takes its place.

Natalie is a loving mom. She loves her kids very much. When others would tell her Beck wasn’t acting right or even when his brother told her that he caught Beck smoking pot she was in so much denial that refused to believe it. It took something horrible to happen before she opened her eyes and realize how naive she’s been all along.

I didn’t like Natalie at times. I haven’t lost my husband so I can’t relate to her on that. I guess I don’t understand why you would want to shut out your kids. The very same kids that you and your husband conceived with love to just basically abandoned them. I didn’t like that about her. I kept thinking why does she not see what Beck is going through. He was there when his father died but this isn’t the Beck show. It’s Natalie’s. I say that with kindness in my heart. I do understand depression and I know that when you are so low you shut everyone and everything out around you. Everyone is different and I guess that was her way of handling it. I may not approve but I’m not here to judge her.

I also think Natalie is an addict in her own right. Continuing to take Xanax is addicting. She lost days of herself and when she took more than the prescribed dosage she justified it. I really love the mother side of her when she finally woke up. It’s that other side that was ugly to read about but powerful.

I felt so bad for Beck. After his dad died it seemed like his mom abandoned him. Sure he had his aunt, uncle and girlfriend to talk to about it but he needed his mom at times and it was sad to read about. He really needed counseling. He went through something extremely traumatic and wasn’t properly treated for it. The drugs were basically calling to him. Offering him the numbness he was searching for. I don’t think many who was in his exact situation would have passed them up. It’s the cliché that gets someone every time. Just take one pill. Just smoke this once. Just inject this one time and you won’t be addicted. You can stop anytime. You are still the owner of your body. But that’s not true. The drug owns you now and it definitely owned Beck.


Saving Beck is a harrowing story of a boy losing his soul and the mother who could have possibly stopped it. It’s about love and loss. How a drug destroys a family and finding redemption once you hit bottom. It’s not an easy read. I wanted to throw my kindle a few times because I was so angry at what the characters would do or say. Overall I was addicted to it and I wish there would be a book 2 to answer some other questions I felt that weren’t addressed.

Thank you to Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review, "Saving Beck""
by Courtney Cole. A very personal account of a mother's struggle to get her son the help he needs from drugs. It is really sad to see everything she must go through. Knowing how many people go through this is astounding. It is important to start talking about drugs and how they affect our society.

" Tomorrow is the first day of forever. " I'm shattered in pieces, gutted by this mind-blowing story.

Saving Beck by Courtney Cole is a book that'll stay with you. I read it a few days ago and can't get the story out of my head. Beck and Natalie don't want to go, they stubbornly stay - and they're welcome to.

Meet the Kingsley family. Natalie and the kid's world imploded the day their husband and father died in a car crash. Nothing is ok anymore, nothing.
She drowns in depression and despair and her son is eaten by guilt. Every one mourns in his own way. And Beck chooses the worst kind of mourning - numbing himself with drugs. In a short span of time he goes from golden child to heavily addicted.
Saving Beck is raw and gritty and gutted me to the core. Natalie and Beck were in a rollercoaster of emotions, and I was with them. I started reading and was captivated from the beginning. The story sucked me in , whirled me around and then spit me out. At times it was hard to read about the pain and hurt the main characters had to endure. Addiction is a monster that destroys everything in his wake, not only the addict himself, his family too.

Favorite Quote: " Doing drugs is easy. Doing life is hard. And sometimes, we have to hide from it the best way we can." - Angel to Beck.

Saving Beck is a heart wrenching, mind-blowing story that held my emotions hostage . If you'll read only one book this year, let it be Saving Beck. It'll change you, I promise.
I highly recommend Saving Beck and wish I could give more than 5 stars.

Natalie and Matt have the perfect marriage and family. They have three children with Beck being the oldest. They are a normal, loving suburban family, but when tragedy strikes, it changes the lives of the Kingsley family in the worst possible way.

Natalie is completely devastated after a tragic accident takes the life of her husband, leaving her her son Beck to deal with the care of his younger siblings. Often times Natalie can’t even get out of bed and face the day. She relies on prescription medicine to dull the pain of losing the love of her life. What she doesn’t realize is that Beck is also suffering and living with the guilt of his father’s death as he was with his dad when the accident happened. Not able to face his own pain, he slowly starts to fall victim to drugs himself. Beck is such a bright and promising student, so full of life, but drugs are slowly but surely ruling his life. Natalie is determined to get her son back, but is it already to late? Or can a mother’s love pull her son out of the darkness?

Saving Beck is told in both the present and the past. We learn what happened to the Kingsley family in flashbacks and it is truly hard to read without getting emotional. But, the story is powerful and has such a strong message that really makes you stop and think about the drug epidemic that is happening in our country. We often times don’t think that drug addiction happens to good families, but it does more frequently then you realize. Often times we dehumanize drug addicts, but they are people, with a family and a story to tell. Not every addict is bad, they are just lost and addicted. Their brain chemistry is compromised from drugs and they just make bad decision after bad decision.

While I was out today running errands, I happened to drive along a strip that is notorious for addicts panhandling for money and it really got me thinking about what led them down this path and I truly felt sad for them. A big part of the reason why I looked at them differently today is because of this story. I really thank Courtney Cole for bringing this out in the open because I never really thought about the other person struggling outside, probably living on the streets because of an addiction that has taken over their entire lives. It really is a shame.

There are a lot of moments in Saving Beck which hits close to home for me in regards to faith and beliefs. Natalie prays for her son while he lays in a coma from a drug overdose and then you get to see the other side where Beck is dreaming about his father and his father is urging him to fight and that it wasn’t his time yet. I firmly believe that when it is your time to go that a loved one will come for you. Is this something that has just been ingrained on me by my only families beliefs? Is it something spiritual? I don’t know, but it gives me comfort to know that I won’t be alone.

Saving Beck encompasses so much more than just addiction. It is a story about grief and acceptance and how each of us deals with pain and guilt differently in times of tragedy and loss. This is a heartbreaking story and yet it is also filled with hope, love, understanding, and forgiveness. Courtney Cole has truly touched me through her writing and this is just one of the many reasons why Saving Beck should be on everyone’s reading list.

If only.
If only.
If only you saw the signs. If only you could turn back the clock. If only you could have the boy you once knew back in your arms.

You never think it will happen to you. You raise your kids, teach them right from wrong, you love them with your whole heart. Sometimes just one tragic event can create a domino effect and from there—everything just falls apart.

Natalie had the perfect life. A wonderful husband, three amazing kids. But nothing perfect lasts forever and in one night, her world is shattered. What follows is a mother’s worst nightmare. Her oldest son, Beck turns to drugs to escape the pain that’s swallowing him.

The euphoria and weightless feeling that comes when the drugs take him to another realm, a different place. He needs it to get through another day. The escape from reality.

“It’s such an odd feeling. When you’re a parent, you’re always thinking about your kid’s future. Plotting it, planning it. But now, in a blink of an eye, I only want one thing.
For him to live.”

How far is too far? How much is too much? Is it ever enough?

Heartbreaking, real, and raw Saving Beck depicts the journey of a young man who lost so much and his downward spiral into addiction to escape the pain of his reality. A mother who would take his place in an instant. A mother who wants nothing more than for her son to return to her.

“How does this happen? A good mother would’ve known. A good mother would’ve stopped it.”

This is not an easy read but it is so important. I applaud Courtney Cole for giving her readers this powerful and honest real story into addiction.

In Courtney Cole's Saving Beck, the dangerous path to addiction and the emotions of drug abuse take center stage with a gut-wrenching story of loss and grief and pain. Whew, I'm exhausted just writing that sentence.

I have to be honest, this was a difficult story to read for me. I love an emotional story, but when it hits too close to home, the reading experience becomes less of an escape. That being said, Saving Beck is an emotional tale that will help anyone understand the "why" and the "how" of addiction. I was glad there was a hopeful element to it, that balances it all out.

We need more stories like this.

In Saving Beck, Courtney Cole takes us on an incredible yet devastating journey of a young man’s fall to addiction. This is a wonderfully cautionary tale truly depicting that addiction can touch anyone. Even the golden boy football player. Although this is a work of fiction, much of the story was based off Courtney’s own son’s struggles with addiction. It’s real. It’s current. It’s important.

I really enjoyed the way Courtney weaved her story where the vast majority takes place over a single day with flashbacks depicting just HOW things got to be the way they are now.

Courtney Cole’s story is relatable in many aspects. Whether you struggled with addiction or you watched someone struggle. Despite being a work of fiction, this could very well be someone’s real life. I’m always fascinated by stories dealing with addiction because I’ve personally seen the way it has affected people in my own family. This is one of the best I’ve read.

Courtney definitely gave this story the justice it deserved. I would recommend this book to anyone who would listen. It’s that good.

<i> I'm a caged Mama wolf and there's nothing I can do, but I know that if I stop moving, Beck will die. My energy is attached to his energy. I have to move. It all depends on me. </i>

Woah. Cole's writing is deep and thoughtful. Addicts are very misunderstood to those who have been lucky enough never been one or cared for one. Cole manages to make the disease of Addiction a central character in this story to really shed some light on what addicts and their loved ones go through.

Excellent read! Great story with a compelling plot, memorable characters. This is an author I will check out again.

Saving Beck is a heart wrenching and eye opening story about addiction and a mothers unwavering love for her son. This book shows how addiction does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone, no one sets out to become an addict but drugs are a demon that take over and demand to be fed. This book is based on Courtney's experience with her own son and his battle with addiction, the story is raw, emotional and it gutted me at times but I admire her strength and courage to put this story out there. Courtney Cole is a master of her craft and this book is one of her best.

After the loss of his father Beck blames himself, his mother lost in her grief and can't get out of bed. Beck steps up to the plate and takes care of the house and his siblings, but the panic attacks and the responsibilities are too much. He started sneaking his mothers Xanax, then smoking weed and that's where it begins. This story is written in both Natalie (Beck's mom) and Beck's point of view, I really enjoyed both perspectives as the story unfolded. Like all of Mrs. Cole's books it is beautifully written and will take you on an emotional roller coaster. As a mother I cried for Natalie and my heart broke for Beck a great kid from a great family, everything a mother could ask for, he never realized that he was selling his soul to the devil until it was too late, he was in too deep. As heartbreaking as this story is it is also one of hope. With the growing drug epidemic in this country this book is a must read.

I highly recommend this book and be sure to read the Epilogue.

5+++++++++++ Stars

If I could, I would give this book ALL THE STARS!!!!

I knew going into this book that it was going to be an emotional read for me. I knew that going in, this book was loosely based on Courtney and her son's battle with addiction. Watching a loved one battle any addition in any way, is so hard for those of us standing on the side lines wanting to help and having no idea what to do.

I had tears in my eyes at the dedication and they were only the beginning of the many tears I shed reading this book. They were lots tears from so many different emotions; the biggest tears were from empathy.

I won't go into details on this book. Just know that this book is powerful. Even though it's a work of fiction, Courtney's words telling a harrowing tale of mother's love wanting to save her son with everything she has. When you feel that same desperation, that same anxiety and hopelessness as Natalie does in this book - you become her - you empathize with her.

Courtney delivers an emotional story on how easily opioids sink their claws into a person and quickly turn them into an addict. It's a raw and honest look at how drugs easily alter an addict's mind and personality and turn them into a totally different person.

This book is brutally honest and will dig deep into your soul. You won't be the same after reading it and you won't look at addiction the same way either. Addiction is an ugly disease that takes away everything from not just the addict, but their loved ones too.

If there is one book you read this year, let it be this one. Your emotions will run the gamut and in the end, leave you feeling hopeful - yes, hopeful. Your eyes, heart and soul will forever be changed.

This book was beautifully written and so realistic. I really enjoyed that the writing was both from the POV of the mother and Beck and the present and future. What a heart wrenching book but also one about hope and redemption. It was definitely a difficult and emotional read at times but well worth it. I understand what it's like to have addiction in the family and what it can do to a family. Thank you!

A heartbreaking story of a son's addiction and a mom's co-dependency. Such a beguiling story but too real for many. I applaud the author for bringing this very real story to mainstream publications.