This sounded really interesting to me, but just feel like there was maybe a bit too much going on - the struggle with identity as well as the abusive family issues, and then the travelling was all quite a lot.

This was such a spectacular book I finished it in one evening. I just didn’t want to stop reading (not even to watch one of my favourite shows so you know it was good). I ended up staying up way past bedtime to get to the end because I needed to see how Kiki was going to move herself forward to become the amazing woman she was and to see how strong and beautiful she was even if she grew up not believing that fact.

Kiko was half Asian and half white and this book really focused on her struggles with her identity along with family struggles and some events from her past. Her father was Japanese but his family died before Kiko could meet them and her parents were divorced. Instead she grew up in a house with a mother who continually put her down and reinforced negative ideas of herself. Kiko believed herself ugly and weird because she didn't look like her mom or her classmates. Instead she looked more like her father with dark hair and Asian features and I felt like punching those around her because growing up is tough and figuring out who you are is horrible but to do that whilst feeling like you're not enough must be worse.

Kiko thought only her white heritage was enough and lamented not being more of that whilst disregarding her Japanese heritage as she had never been taught the beauty that it holds. I loved that later in the books she met others with japense heritage that helped her learn more about herself and understand herself better. I was sad we didn't see more of her father but from the bits we did see of him it seemed he also had started to ignore his Japanese heritage after her mother had made it seem shameful to him. It was sad that he didn't try and help them learn more as they were older. But he thought he was doing the best and without his own family there to support him maybe you can understand why. Especially when you look back at how Japanese and Asian families have been treated in the past in the us (and even now, I think we all recall the hate crimes occurring from the pandemic). It was wonderful to see Kiko grow and recognise the beauty in everyone and to accept her own beauty because she might not look like everyone else but that doesn't make her ugly but original and originality will always be more attractive.

I do think when you grow up feeling like you're in the shadow of those around you then it is hard to see your own beauty. For Kiko she grew up in the shadow her mother cast (and reinforced) so she thought the only beauty was blonde and blue eyed. I can relate to her in that way, I didn't grow up feeling beautiful but awkward and plain and just very much less. We all look for our own flaws so there is nothing more wonderful by others telling you you're beautiful and help to show you that fact. External validation isn't it (I'm looking at you Instagram) but to have someone tell you and then show you why they see your beauty can really help you realise it and see it yourself without needing others to tell you.

I adored this book and want to shake myself for waiting so long to read.

This was such a beautiful book. The writing is lyrical and the story was captivating. Being an artist myself I loved the descriptions of the art and the work that the main character was creating. This was a lot more deep than I expected and some of the themes definitely packed a punch but I really think it was a wonderful coming of age YA novel.

Thank you to Ink Road for sending me a copy of Starfish.

Content warnings: racism, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, parental abuse, suicide attempt

Kiko Himura desperately wants to get into Prism, her dream art school. But her mother doesn’t believe in her. She doesn’t get in. And then her uncle who abused her as a child move back into town and her mother lets him come around often. So when her childhood friend invites her on a road trip to see other art schools, Kiko jumps at the chance.

I already knew I loved Akemi Dawn Bowman’s writing when I read Summer Bird Blue in 2019. She has this fantastic way of tackling mental health in books and I haven’t read anything like it. Reading Starfish solidified her as an auto-buy author.

Starfish is an incredibly heavy book. It deals with serious topics like sexual abuse, emotional abuse and racism. Kiko struggles with her race and identity a lot as she grew up with an absent father and doesn’t connect with the Japanese culture on his side because of this. She lives in a society that Others her but she can’t connect with that part of her.

The depiction of social anxiety was amazing. I related to her and the situations she was in a lot and this was such a validating read for me in that respect. I know a lot of people found the depiction of Kiko’s mental illness in this story important to them and I hope it continues to find a home in people’s hearts because it is so great.

Kiko’s relationship with Jamie was lovely as it felt like he was the one good thing happening in her life. She needed his company to remind her that not everything is awful. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression having just one person who gives you energy instead of taking your energy can be a huge help.

I have heard that in the original run of this book there was some ableist language used to refer to Kiko’s mother, but that it got edited out in later runs. So just be aware of that if you do decide to pick up the book in case you have an earlier edition.

I have just finished Harley in the Sky, and can confirm I still love Akemi Dawn Bowman’s work and cannot wait to see what else she adds to her repertoire.

Beautifully written.nd simply captivating.and relatable. A must read about self discovery. This book will stay with me.

Akemi Dawn Bowman writes some of the most accurate and heartfelt contemporary YA fiction I have ever read. Her portrayal of anxiety is some of the best, and I recommend it in the bookshop all the time. A moving novel, this one makes me laugh and cry, one of my favourites!

By far one of the best YA books I've read in a while.

There are obvious comparisons to be made with The Perks Of Being a Wallflower but this feels like a more heartfelt and relatable version. Bowman's writing is touching and compelling and at times, her prose reads like poetry which made the book even more compelling.

The story itself is subtle and can feel quite understated but also packs a punch in a way that I didn't think was possible. Kiko's character charming and heartbreaking yet quietly powerful which made me warm to her character instantly.

Bowman is most definitely one to watch in YA!

the best book about mental health i have ever read! i actually met the author at YALC in London last year and am so excited for her new book!

Everyone NEEDS to read this!

This is a story that stays with you way beyond the last page. The author did an amazing job portraying Kiki's life in this book and how toxic people can be. I ust have so many feelings after reading this book, it was so good!

In brief:
- Follows Kiko - 17, artist (wants to go to art college in NYC), half-Japanese, mother doesn't really seem to care about her or her brothers
- Relatable past Valentine's embarassing incident
- Lots of relatable quotes on social anxiety
- Pointers towards being abused in the past
- Like the short description of a painting that captures Kiko's feelings at the end of each chapter
- Comments on being seen as different/exotic and racism in a small town
- Does a good job of capturing her fear of her uncle
- Scenes between Kiko and Jamie are lovely
- Really like Hiroshi and his family
- Warning for suicide attempt

Starfish had great biracial and mental health representation and I found it to be an important contemporary overall that tackled difficult issues.

Oh boy was Kiko a hard character to read from. She’s going through so much – but it wasn’t her social anxiety, the abuse she suffered at an early age, or the fact that her mother is a horrible human being that made Starfish so hard to read (those factors definitely contribute). It was the fact that she was going through all this and she didn’t have anybody to help her. This was BLEAK. And it was an honest portrayal of what many teens are going through. I thought Kiko’s social anxiety was very well done. I could definitely relate to a lot of the situations she was in: not being to express what she was thinking and not wanting to because of the position it would put her in. Hating the spotlight, not wanting to go out because there are PEOPLE and it’s hella awkward and you kind of know people aren’t looking at you, but your brain is saying they are so you’re hella self-conscious and just NOPE take me home. She’s such a brave character, basically taking the brunt of everything because she feels like she has to but at the same time it was ruining her inside. Her character definitely grows a lot throughout her journey, being away from her family helps A LOT. I LOVED that at the end, her social anxiety isn’t ‘fixed’ because you just can’t fix some things, but she feels better and surer about herself.

I thought Bowman’s portrayal of relationships and interactions was very accurate. It’s hard for Kiko to communicate with others and they understandably get frustrated or don’t understand why she’s ‘shy’. I liked the way her best friend Emery really tried to be understanding, was patient and stuck by Kiko. Kiko’s family though, wow what a messy home life. I really wish Kiko’s father had tried harder with Kiko and her siblings knowing their mother (we’ll get to her soon) and it broke my heart that parents, who are the ones that are meant to be always there for us, were the biggest failures here. And it also hurt to Kiko’s older brother escaping and leaving Kiko to deal with their mother and shield her younger brother. I found it cowardly and weak that he didn’t really try to see if his younger siblings were ok. At the same time, I could understand that Kiko didn’t know how to reach out, her family were quite disconnected especially as her parents had divorced when she was young so everybody kind of did their own thing.

The romance was cute af. Jamie’s a lovely human being and it really helped Kiko to have him back. He saw most of her, but he wasn’t perfect – he didn’t completely understand her anxiety. I loved that he tried, cared, was so sweet but at the end of the day, love doesn’t make everything better. He definitely had his own demons to deal with, and things would have been much better if he communicated with Kiko instead of trying to deal with everything on his own. Ah the importance of communication and being open and honest.

Where this book fell apart for me was Kiko’s mother. I know there are definitely people out there like her, but what I didn’t understand was how nobody around her made her stop and assess herself? She’s an absolutely horrible person. I mean what woman doesn’t believe her own daughter when she comes to you crying about something as serious as abuse? She clearly needed therapy/help for the way she psychologically and emotionally abused the people around her. The people around her saw it. Kiko’s father clearly knew but he left. Kiko and her siblings are left to deal with her. This part was just unbelievable. Why? Well, Kiko’s home life isn’t actually bad, her mother aside. Her mother can clearly provide for 3 children without trouble. In all her verbal abuse she doesn’t actually complain about financial hardship. She can afford for Kiko’s younger brother to go to taekwando lessons, afford to redecorate the house which can easily house 5 people. All these social constructs imply a stable and good paying job. Not to mention she cares about her appearance, wears makeup and seems to buy nice clothes. Now, with a personality like that you can only fake being ‘nice’ for so long. There’s a short mention of Kiko’s mother having an argument with someone at work but otherwise she doesn’t have trouble at work. There’s also no mention of her going between jobs. My scepticism arises with how her mother can be horrible at home, so manipulative but not display a single bit of this at work? There is only so much that can be faked long-term before the cracks begin to show. I get this is a work of fiction but it didn’t make sense to me that Kiko’s mother could have gone on so long unchecked. Stuff like this eventually bleeds into work life.

Ok rant about Kiko’s mother over we can go back to all the awesome stuff about this book. I loved how California and being away from her mother helped Kiko see the world clearly. Being immersed in art and exposure to good, wholesome people does wonders for a person’s psyche. Loved the art descriptions and the exploration of artistic places around Cali. Despite being half-Japanese, Kiko was never exposed to her Japanese side as a result of her racist mother. Her first ever visit to Chinatown and being amongst other East Asians was a real eye-opened. Manga, boba, Asian food, it felt like home for Bowman to write about these things.

Despite my issues with Kiko’s mother, I enjoyed Starfish for its accurate representation of mental health and exploration of Japanese culture, friendship and art.

A really engaging read with a lot of depth. I found the book to be a little of a slow burn to start with but the more I read the more I wanted to keep reading. The main character was really well drawn, I think a lot of readers will find her very relatable.

First of can i say how beautiful this cover is, I'm definitely investing in getting my own physical copy of this book not just because of how much i loved this book but just for the cover. I loved kiko as main character, she made us feel deeply for her and her brothers through the narration and i like how we could see into her thoughts with the anxiety she showed and how it was effecting her life. I like the on and off relationships with her brothers and how we could see how much she cared for them even if they didn't feel the same way. I loved how Akemi portrayed her mother and i feel that she was very believable villain. The amount of times i was sat reading the book and i rolled my eyes and just wanted to grab her shake her was a lot. Like get a grip! I loved the support system that Kiko has through her best friend Emery and her childhood friend Jamie. Jamie was such a cute character and he had me falling in love with him. I like the slow build romance that he had with kiko and how we could see how much he cared for her.
This book is featured hugely around art which is a nicr concept as i feel we don't really see that very often in Ya contemporary books. I liked how Akemi involved it in each chapter with having art prompts at the bottom of each chapter. I would love to be good at art and have a go at drawing the pictures myself.
I age this book 5 stars and i wish that there was a sequel as i need more kiko and Jamie in my life.
I recommend everyone who loved Ya Contemporary please go read it. However slight trigger warnings for Emotional and Sexual Abuse

"I draw the sun teaching the moon how to shine"

* * * 
3 / 5

Starfish gave me very mixed feelings. On the one hand, my brain thought wow, what an absolute rollercoaster, but on the other hand I felt a bit disappointed. Mostly by the romance. It was weird and made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Kiko Himura has a really rough life. She's got social anxiety, she's got an abusive mother, she's got a horrible history with her uncle, and she's got a dream to go to Prism, a prestigious art school. When that dream is dashed to pieces by a rejection letter, Kiko is lost. Then her childhood friend Jamie comes back into her life with an offer to stay with his family and to tour art schools on the West Coast, and Kiko accepts.

"The mother I've always wanted isn't real; she's a dream. And not every dream comes true"

I really, really felt for Kiko. Her life seriously sucks. Nothing she does is ever good enough for her controlling, mood-switching and racist mother; Kiko feels like she is drowning in her current life. I had a lot of sympathy for her character, but I also felt like the novel was overly dark. It was too dark for my tastes - it felt like I was drowning alongside Kiko in a pit of despair and darkness and anxiety. The right person could definitely find a lot to relate to in this book, but I was clearly not the right person. 

I loved the role that art had in the novel. Her work was described so visually and it had such an important place in the plot; I loved the relationship between Kiko and her artwork, especially once she finds a mentor on the West Coast. 

"I don't want to be a branch in someone else's life anymore - I want to be the tree on my own"

Starfish is a book with the potential to mean so much to the right reader. For me, Starfish was just depressing the whole way through with the vibes of a "saviour romance" that I felt was a bit inappropriate for the story and the themes. 

My thanks to Netgalley for an ARC of this book.

Trigger Warning: This book features child abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, a suicide attempt, racism and gaslighting. This review also includes quotes of sexual abuse being discussed.

Warning: This review contains minor spoilers, so I'm able to talk about Kiko's social anxiety in depth.

Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman is a book I've wanted to read for quite a long time, so I was so excited to see it's now being published in the UK. Starfish is an incredible novel, it's heartbreaking and hopeful, and just completely wonderful.

This #OwnVoices story follows Kiko, a biracial girl - half-Japanese, half-white American - who has social anxiety, who is desperate to get into Prism, a prestigious art school. She wants to get away from her emotionally abusive mother, and Uncle Max, the man who sexually abused her as a child, who has just moved in after losing his job. When Kiko doesn't get into Prism, she doesn't know what to do, and her future looks bleak. But reconnecting with Jamie, her best friend from when she was a child leads to travelling to California to look at art schools there. But no matter how far away she is, she can't get away from the hold her mum has over her.

This book is an emotional and upsetting read, but at the same time, surprisingly easy to get yourself swept up in. I was captivated by Kiko's voice from the very first page, before we even knew what her home life was like. I warmed to her immediately. But this isn't a happy, light story. This is a story of family and identity, but one where Kiko's mother affects everything. Her mum is completely narcissistic, and critical of everything her children do, of who they are. According to her, Kiko isn't pretty enough, because she doesn't look like her; her eyes are too small, her nose is too wide, her face is too round, her black hair too straight. In other words, she looks too Asian. Yes, her mum is a racist piece of crap. And Kiko internalises it all.

'"What do you see when you look at pictures of yourself?"
I swallow. Someone who looks too Asian to be pretty. Because being Asian means I can never be pretty as the other girls at school--the girls like Mom. I know this because people like Henry and Adam and Mom keep telling me I don't have the right face. I know this because when I look in the mirror, I see what they see--a girl who doesn't belong here. A girl who isn't good enough.' (p114)*

She may not be white enough to be pretty, but Kiko also feels like she isn't Japanese enough, because she knows very little of her heritage. Her parents have split up, and she doesn't see her dad very often any more, because it makes her mum mad. But even when her parents were together, Japanese culture wasn't really allowed in the house; her dad introduced her and brothers to anime, but her mum didn't like it, so they weren't allowed to watch it. Her dad would cook Japanese food, but her mum said it was too greasy, so he stopped. It's like anything that was Japanese in any way wasn't allowed in the house, and so Kiko learnt very little.

And this affects how she sees herself. She's "either too white, or too Asian, but never enough of either." (p115)* That line right there is a thread that runs throughout Starfish, and there's a level of nuance to this experience that could only come from an #OwnVoices author. There's this strong feeling that Kiko is constantly asking herself who she is, but struggling to come up with any answer. She thinks she's weird, and this affects her mental illness, because she believes other people see her the same way. This is the first time I've read a book featuring social anxiety, rather than general anxiety. She finds social interactions really difficult; being around large groups of people, or meeting strangers for the first time. Like when she's invited to a party, and ends up sitting in her car for an hour, trying to work up the courage to get out and go and join her friend Emery. And in those situations, if she becomes the centre of attention for whatever reason, she starts to panic. It's because of this that she doesn't have many friends, and depends on the friends she does have to shield her; at first Emery at school, and then Jamie in California. But as the story progresses, she realises just how much she depended on them both, and as she and Jamie get closer, she realises how unhealthy it would be to be in a relationship with someone she uses as a crutch. She wants to be independent in so many ways; free of her mum, free of her insecurities, and able to stand on her own two feet, and get to a place where her social anxiety is manageable. But it takes so much for her to actually make all the decisions that are right for her, that will get her to a better place. Because it's scary to let go, and to be adrift on your own, when she finds social interaction so difficult. She is so strong and so brave, she's just wonderful.

I also want to talk about how Jamie treats Kiko in regards her social anxiety. Kiko didn't have social anxiety when she knew Jamie as a child, so this is all new to him, and because of that, he gets things wrong a number of times. He gets frustrated with her when she doesn't want to go to a party, or when she struggles around large groups of people. He just doesn't get it, and wants her to try, which she does because she feels so guilty, and hates letting people down - which is left over from how her mum makes her feel she's to blame for so many things - but he basically pressures her into things. Don't get me wrong, it's not often, and does really try tp understand, but he does get things wrong a few times. And I absolutely loved when Kiko actually stood her ground when he was being unreasonable and not seeming to get she has a mental illness.

'He lowers his head. "You kind of look like you want to be anywhere but here."
My back stiffens, and defense rushes through me. "I'm trying. Maybe give me a little credit? This isn't easy."
"I wish you didn't look so uncomfortable."
"I was fine. Now I feel like I'm ruining your night."
"Can you please not overthink this?"
"Can you please be a little more patient with something I have no control over?"' (p242)*

This makes it sounds like Jamie is a complete douche, but he's not; he's a really nice guy overall, but he does make a few mistakes.

I want to go back and talk about Kiko's mum, because she really is a piece of work. As I said, everything is about her. When Kiko is in California, every phone conversation is about what her mum is up to, or has her mum asking what people are saying about her, what she is telling other people about her, if she's badmouthing her. She doesn't care how Kiko is doing, how her art is going, how she's spending her time - it's all about her. It's really like she doesn't care at all. I have never read the words "I love you" in a book so often, nor have I felt like they mean absolutly nothing. And Kiko is so desperate for her mum to care about her, that she keeps trying. Any time her mum shows her any interest, she gets her hopes up, but it turns out her mum is only interested to criticise her. And when Kiko gets upset, her mum tells her she's too sensitive, implies she's not done anything wrong, that Kiko is overreacting. So. Much. Gaslighting.

And this even comes into play when Kiko can't believe that her mum let Uncle Max back into the house after he sexually assaulted her as a child. We don't find out the details until much later in the story, but the way her mum reacts is un-bloody-believable.

'"Look, I don't know what happened between you and Max, but if we're all going to be living together you need to--" she starts.
"You do know," I interrupt angrily. "You know exactly what happened."
"No," she corrects. "I know your side of the story."
My shoulders shake violently. "Are you saying you don't believe me?"
She lets out a sigh. "I'm not saying that. I'm not saying anything, really. I just think you were very young when this 'event' happened"--she scratches the air with her fingers--"and maybe it's not fair to put so much blame on Max."
"Who else gets the blame? Me?" I ask with a knot in my throat.
"Kiko, would you please stop making this so difficult. I mean, it's not like he did anything that horrible to you." (p72)*

There are just no words. No words. As someone who was sexually assaulted as a child, the thought of having to face that person again fills me with terror, and it happened 20 years ago. But to have it be a family member, to have your mum not believe you, and to have your mum bring that person back into your house, knowing what he did to you? It's absolutely incomprehendable. It's appalling and horrifying, and makes me feel sick to my stomach. Every time Kiko had to interact with Uncle Max. Every time her mum defended him. It's just horrific.

But on to something good about this book. The art. Art is Kiko's life. Getting into Prism is not just an escape for her mum, but a chance to do something she absolutely loves. So not getting in is awful twice over. When she's in California and ends up meeting famous artist Hiroshi, things look like they might be on the up for her. He likes her work, and says he'll mentor her, help her create a new portfolio, and give her a letter of recommendation when she applies to other art schools. And it's so wonderful to see Kiko work on her art, and seeing how Hiroshi helps her, and gets her to think more deeply about what she really wants to say with her work. Hiroshi is the first adult to really give her any time and attention, and to actually care and be interested in what she does. He's like the parental figure she never really had, and he brings her and Jamie into his life, inviting them over for dinner, and to parties. She gets to meet other people who look like her, and learn more about a side of herself she's never really known anything about. I loved Hiroshi, and I loved their realtionship. But what I also really loved is how almost every chapter ends with a description of a piece of art that Kiko is working on that relates to what has just happened in the chapter. They're incredible; so metaphorical, and the imagery - it's poetic. We don't get to see the art, but we get the words, and it's just beautiful.

Starfish is an absolutely incredible novel. It completely broke my heart, but it was put back together by the end. It's a book I have been unable to stop thinking about since I finished it, and one that will stay with me for a long time. Bowman has written an unbelievably real and raw story with Starfish, and I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to write. I'm really looking forward to reading everything Bowman writes in the future, starting with her next novel Summer Bird Blue, which comes out in Septemer.

*All quotes have been checked against a final copy of Starfish, and are correct.

Thank you to Ink Road via NetGalley for the eProof.

(This is my review from Goodreads; a modified and probably better version is available on my blog.)

This may not be my most coherent review of all time -- I read this book very late at night (because self-sabotage is fun) and I'm also having a bad pain day, which is making it hard to form coherent thoughts or get out of bed, any of that kind of stuff. So, you know, not ideal reviewing circumstances. But I have to try, because I really, really liked this book.

It's got a few major themes: art, anxiety, abuse (oh hey, alliteration), and being Asian-American, specifically half Japanese. I want to talk about that last one first. I've read a few books with Asian-American protagonists where I struggled to relate at all, mostly not because I'm white but because I'm not American. But now I realise that maybe they just weren't as good as this book, because even though I have basically nothing in common with Kiko, I still had a TON of feelings about everything, and it proved that I don't have to relate to a story to get invested in it.

(I think it also helps that it doesn't revolve around high school life because honestly, I will never understand American high schools. They're completely baffling to me, and I struggle with YA novels that focus excessively on things like homecoming and spirit week and other things I don't get.)

A major aspect of the book is Kiko's emotionally abusive mother, and it was done so well. It really demonstrated that abuse isn't always physical, that sometimes it's not even insults, and that people who say, "I love you," constantly can be just as bad as those who don't. There's a lot of gaslighting and Kiko's journey is partly about recognising this behaviour for what it is, which she needs to do in order to stand up for herself.

It's also 100% not a story about someone with anxiety who is emotionally traumatised being healed by romance. In fact, it directly subverts that trope. Kiko is interested in romance. She has a love interest who is wonderful and supportive and kind. But she recognises that she's using him as a crutch and she steps back, because she wants to look after herself first, and she knows that she's not emotionally ready for a relationship. I think that's a really important narrative to tell.

That said, the book is probably still a little bit too romance-heavy for my tastes, even though I think it was handled really well, so that's part of why it got four stars instead of five. I also wasn't 100% keen on the writing style, but that's just personal taste.

Another major aspect of the book is art and here I agree with Cait (PaperFury) that it reminded me of I'll Give You The Sun. Mostly because I don't know of that many books about young artists wanting to get into art school which made me almost cry, so there's a small pool to compare it to. But there's definitely a similar vibe -- and I agree that if it had had illustrations, that would have been awesome.

I didn't feel that Kiko's encounter with a mentor figure was entirely realistic (she goes to an art show, her friend Jamie shows the guy her art, the artist becomes her mentor both artistically and emotionally), but I didn't feel it detracted from the story. Other characters pointed out that it was like something out of her fantasy -- it was *supposed* to be unusually lucky. And besides, what's a bit of wish fulfilment between friends?

I think the emotional journey of the characters was the strength of this book; I definitely had a lot of feelings about Kiko and her relationship with her family and her heritage, the latter important because of her mother's constant undermining of the value of it. I got to the end and was just... emosh. And like I said, I thought the way the romance was handled was really important and sensitive.

However, I do regret staying up late to read this, because I feel terrible today. Why do I do this to myself?

Some pretty hard CW: mental illness, undiagnosed potential mental illness, child abuse, sexual abuse, suicide.

First let me just say this review does hold more spoilers and a slightly different style than usual, just because there were some really problematic elements I wanted to discuss.

Kiko is going to escape to Prism the only art school worth attending, she needs to get away from her abusive mother and her uncle who abused her when she was younger. After Jamie her childhood best friend reappears in her life he offers her away out, drive back with him across the country and study there.

The good

The character development in terms of Kiko was really good, it was interesting to be able to see her as a biracial teenager have the ability to explore her heritage that she’d been discouraged from understanding. The relationship she develops with the art tutor, for me, was the best part of the book, she got to see a family and learn about her culture in a way that wasn’t forced or that alienated her.

The flow of the book was very natural, it was a nice read in that way. The style of writing was excellent and I would read another book from the author but do hope it wouldn’t be quiet was problematic as I found it. Talking of which…

The bad

Now on the surface of thing the problems may not be glaring for some people but as someone that has taught and guided young people some of the topics wasn’t address in a way that would be beneficial to them. The author seems to have an ‘if you didn’t like the book you weren’t the audience it was meant for’ attitude, now I understand that in some aspects but reviewers are allowed to find some aspects problematic.

The main issue was how it felt like a fairytale in terms of someone will whisk you away to a faraway place and away from the abuse, but in reality how many abused people really get that? I was looking for something that felt more authentic, something in some small way that may help a teenager in that situation.

Kiko’s brothers didn’t really develop enough for my liking, however, I can see how this may be due to the overbearing and abusive mother who needed all the attention. With that said I didn’t feel like the suicide attempt was covered enough and didn’t do justice to the topic or the people it affects.

I think if tough topics like this are featured in a book, helplines should be included in the book to make people feel less alone and offer them a realistic escape.

UK Helplines:

The Samaritans (24/7) – 116 123

Childline – 0800 1111

Starfish is a book that has been on my radar for quite a while and is being raved about by all book bloggers that have read it and I agree. Starfish is a beautiful book that deals with important issues and that should be read by everyone.

Starfish follows Kiko who wants nothing more to get into her dream school, Prism, but when her dreams are dashed she has to carve her own path. This involves meeting up with her friend who she has lost touch with.

Starfish's plot was an intense ride. Not only does it deal with Kiko's social anxiety and family issues, it also goes much deeper focusing on friendships and her sexual abuse with her Uncle. This makes for at times really difficult reading by making it unique to read about and I felt like there was a lot to do with her schooling life that I really related to.

A lot has been said about the social anxiety representation in the book and this was something that I really loved about it. The what I wish I say bits were so accurate and I feel like I do this on a daily basis. A lot of the representation tends to focus on GAD so for social anxiety to be seen in a book was really great.

The relationship with her family was also great and I love the dynamic between her and her brothers and that twist at the end definitely shocked me. The relationship with her Mum was the standout and shows how complicated the relationship between families can be. This is interesting as this is something that is not covered a lot. It is also the central focus of the book which is great. Her Mum definitely is not a likeable character especially how she deals with her Uncle and race but this does make her interesting to read about.

The centre focus is also surrounding her school experience which again is something related to. With school not going your way but somehow it becomes OK in the end.

I also really loved the characters in the book especially Kiko and Jamie and seeing their relationship blossom over the course of the story was wonderful although towards the end I think it got a little drama-filled which lessen the enjoyment of the book slightly.

Art is also a massive part of the plot which I loved especially how it was put in writing. The writing at the end of each chapter was beautiful as was the actual writing. It was so good!

The Verdict:

Starfish enchanted me from the first page with its raw emotions that struck a chord with me as I am sure it will with many more.

This book touched me so much. It went beyond a question of identity and showed how it feels to be a girl who is pretty much completely ignored by her mother. A girl who's entire life has been living in a household where half of her identity is completely ignored. Having divorced Kiko's father, her mother refuses to engage in anything Japanese. The idea of living like that touched me so much.

So of course, it was good to see Kiko exploring her Japanese side. I loved watching her come out of herself. Seeing for the first time that someone who looked like her could exist in the world and was just as worthwhile as her white mother and the faces she sees in magazines. It was also interesting to see how her and her brothers coped with their mother's neglect so differently.

I also loved the art theme of the book. The way that art was really essential to everything. The pictures that Kiko saw leading her to an artist who can help her explore her identity and change her life forever.

Starfish is for all those people who didn't ever feel like they fit in with its story of deeply internalized racism at the hand of a mentally ill mother. Kiko grows by the end of the novel but along the way the book showcases all the kinds of coping mechanisms that arise from an environment like that. Too real of a book in a good way.