Well... this book... I'm not really sure what to say. Did I love it??? Yes! Did I hate it? To an extent, yes! I was frustrated, mad, annoyed, yet I swooned, laughed and cried. The emotions and the feels that this story managed to squeeze out of me was incredible. Half the time I felt like my heart and mind couldn't take any more, yet the other half of my just wanted to feel more, absorb more and enjoy more of this incredible story.

Penny and Gavin meet at college where they are part of a study in which they have an immediate connection and chemistry. From that moment on they are the very best of friends. The story starts at the present day, and immediately we are made to feel... to wonder what on earth is happening and how the story gets tot this point.

From there on we are taken back and forth over many, many years, with heartbreak, loss, anger, love, emotion. Penny and Gavin are perfect for each other, their friendship and connection is enviable... but that's it. For one reason or another they just don't get there.

I really don't want to give too much away as I really feel it will take away from the impact of the book. You really need to FEEL the frustrations and you need to enjoy (or not) that maddening feeling of pure angst!

The characters were great. Well written personalities and even though at times some of the choices they made annoyed me, I still grew to like them overall. The plot was well paced and the book flowed nicely in my opinion.

This is going to be a marmite read, some will love it and some will hate it, but I urge you to give it a go and see what you think!! I'll definitely be reading more from this author as I really loved her way with words (and my emotions... I think!!)

4.5 stars!

Angst lovers rejoice! There’s nothing I enjoy more than a book that makes my heart beat faster, ties my stomach up in knots, and packs an emotional punch that leaves me reeling for days. Blind Kiss gave me exactly what I was looking for.

Penny and Gavin met as participants in a psychological study that Penny’s friend was conducting. Penny and Gavin connected right from their first kiss, which also happened to be their first introduction. It didn’t matter how uncomfortable and unnerving the study was, Penny and Gavin clicked in that moment. Right from the beginning, their spark was strong and shining bright. I was in their corner, rooting for them, cheering them on, hoping that they would just be in the moment and let themselves fall, but that would’ve been too easy, wouldn’t it? Renée Carlino had other plans - plans that involved making her readers squirm, grip their e-readers, and tap their fingers in anxious frustration. Thank you, Ms. Carlino, it was all well worth it!

This book is about friendship, connections, and unbreakable bonds that neither time nor distance can fray. It’s about two people who are as close as two people can be without taking that extra little step out of the friend zone. I’m a true believer that men and women can be best friends, but these two had more than just a mutual appreciation for each other. Their feelings went much deeper, however, once they decided to just be friends, life happened, choices were made, and decisions were lived with.

Blind Kiss is told from different points in Penny and Gavin’s relationship. It goes back and forth from fourteen years ago to the more recent years and months. This allowed me to witness all of their pivotal moments, to see the time when their relationship developed, when it flourished, and even the times when it seemed to dim. It was fourteen years’ worth of good times and bad, laughter and tears, heartache and love.

Blind Kiss is a fast-paced read that is impossible to put down. I was immediately invested in the characters’ lives and was happily held captive until the very end. It is the best kind of slow burn. It makes your insides churn with anticipation, while keeping you frantically flipping the pages to see where the author is going to take you. And, oh, what a journey she takes you on. There was never a moment where I felt comfortable or secure in how I thought Penny and Gavin’s story would end, but I will tell you this, it was worth every minute of the trip!


*5 Stars

The ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I usually love Renee Carlino’s books, but this one was not my favorite. It reminded me a little of One Day by David Nicholls, where the main characters spend many years and too many pages of the book being friends and dancing around their angst for more while engaging in relationships with other people instead of being in a relationship with each other as one hopes for in a romance-centered novel. I understand needing the characters to experience obstacles before getting their happily ever after but I prefer books where the couple overcomes the obstacles together as opposed to spending the whole time overcoming obstacles just to be together for few pages at the end of the book. It was a disappointing read for me but I’ll still be anticipating Renee’s next book.

The couples in Renée Carlino's books tend to be torn apart due to circumstances beyond their control, whether job transfers or illnesses. In this case, Penny and Gavin are not together simply because one of them, at various times, thinks it's a bad idea. Carlino makes it very clear, however, that this couple transcends soulmates. They are not so much meant to be together as they must be together.

The two meet when they volunteer (or, in Penny's case, are voluntold) in a college psychology study about how rooted attraction is in the visual. In their case, their attraction is immediate. It's combustible and visceral. And yet Penny is not ready. She has her senior year dance study that she must prioritize, and she can't let her focus waver, not even for Gavin. So they settle into a best friendship, pledging their devotion to each other.

Renée Carlino goes back and forth in time, from fourteen years ago when Penny and Gavin met to three years in the future. She shows you how their relationship builds, how deeply they love each other, and how devastatingly they can hurt each other. She also shows you that no two people operate in a vacuum: there are friends, family members, and classmates who affect how Penny and Gavin behave together, separately, and toward each other. Some of the scenes will crush you, others will make you smile and laugh. There will be times when you want to shout at Penny or Gavin - or both of them - and beg them to reconsider what they're about to do. All along, Renée Carlino shows you that this relationship will never truly be broken. The question is, though, what sort of relationship will it be?

I could not put this book down, and when it was over, I was furious. I did not want to say goodbye to Gavin and Penny or their friends and family members. I wanted to spend more time with them. I wanted to see more of Gavin's silly tee shirts and watch Penny dance.

I was not ready to let go.

Isn't that the surest sign that you've spent time with a great book?

When you read this - and you MUST - please come back and let me know your thoughts.

Penny is a housewife and mother facing an empty nest and a failing marriage. Her dreams from college are long forgotten. While she may have set aside her dreams, she has kept her best friend close through all the years -- the best friend she met as part of a social experiment about the possibility of chemistry being separate from physical attraction.

The chemistry between Penny and Gavin was immediate and off the charts. The students responsible for the social experiment that led to Penny and Gavin kissing as strangers moments after meeting, noted how different the reaction was between these two. After the blindfolds were removed, I loved watching the friendship build, watching as Gavin struggled to be a man that Penny would consider dating.

I found myself frustrated with the choices that Penny made as a college student leading to her present. But I also had to give extra credit to this story because rather than the frustration turning me off to the story, it drove my mind to consider her motivation and how those choices would play out after her son left for school.

Switching between perspectives and timelines, there is a lot going on in this story. I enjoyed getting both Gavin and Penny’s thoughts, especially as they matured. The timeline switch developed the story in parallels and made me sympathetic to Penny’s current situation. The angst level is overall pretty high. Yes these two are friends, but after 14 years they still feel the intense attraction they felt when they first met, even after so many choices that have kept them separated.

This was a second chance story built on choices that seemed a good idea at the time. It was different in that readers watch choices being made that lead the characters away from each other rather than closer together. I spent days after trying to decide my true feelings about the book. At times while I was reading I wasn’t sure I could finish, but other times I was absolutely in love with the story. There were times I wanted to shake the characters, and other times I completely agreed with their decisions. I finally settled on 4 stars because even with my hesitation about some of the angst in the plot, it made me think and it made me feel. The writing is just there -- it pulled me in and challenged me.

I recieved this book for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Unfortunately, Blind Kiss just wasn't the book for me. Dual POVs is a favorite of mine, so I really didn't mind the different points of view nor the jumping around between timelines.

I had a different idea of how the story was going to play out than it did and I think that threw me off. I needed a bigger reason for Gavin and Penny to not be together than the one given. It didn't make any sense to me. The angst and separation felt like it was just for the sake of angst, not for any bigger reason.

Possible spoiler: no names or specifics are given but a plot point is talked about here:
The only person I liked in the book ends up dying and honestly, I saw no purpose in that. This didn't help either of the main characters grow or move in a positive direction in my opinion. It seemed to affect two side characters more than Gavin or Penny. I don't know if it was just for shock factor or to give a somewhat plausible reason for Penny making a certain decision, but I just thought it was honestly pointless.

I also thought the writing was quite poor, which pains me to say because I know Carlino is a good writer. Her book Before We Were Strangers is one of my favorite books and I consistently recommend it to people. But unfortunately, that has been the only book I have loved by her. I've given her books a lot of tries. I've read 5 books by her now and only loved 1, which isn't a very good percentage. I'm not sure if there was a different editor on Before We Were Strangers or what, but I just kept thinking of all the ways I would change this book to make it better than it was. I wasn't immersed in the story like I am when I love a book.

Overall, this one just really missed the mark for me.

Have you ever finished a novel at 1 am, put it down, and stared blankly at the ceiling while your mind reels with emotion and thoughts and you're just so full of hurt and happiness and all the things? That's where I am right now. I just finished Blind Kiss and even though there was a happy ending, I'm overwhelmed with so much sadness for these characters. There were so many missed opportunities and so many times when they came sooooo close to moving from friends to lovers and I'm pretty sure I could find an Avett Brothers song that would go along with how I feel right now and I'd just sob. Is that weird? I'm in such a weird headspace because this novel just broke me a little with all of its probing observations on marriage and parenthood and aging and friendships and regret and hope and longing.

This book hangover is going to be bad, I can already tell. I'm going to be thinking about these characters and the way they made me feel for a long time. I anticipate many moments of me just thinking about all the things that this novel begs you to consider about yourself and the choices you make and the results of those choices.

This novel was a total gut punch and I, probably strangely, loved every second it.

Blind Kiss is one of those stories that readers will either adore or dislike. Unfortunately I'm on the latter of the spectrum and I struggled with feeling the draw of their connection, understanding their choices, and liking the characters themselves. Carlino typically has a handle on navigating romances, but for some reason this plot/story choice lessened the strength of her writing and I came out of it feeling like it wasn't her writing at all. I know writers can be malleable to what their stories need, but it felt like a different writer completely. Because I couldn't get a grasp on the character's motives or emotions, understanding their push-pull and what kept them coming back to one another over the years became incredibly difficult. I wasn't able to be drawn in and feel their intense emotion or enjoy the angst of their romance of which was a big piece of this story.

I've enjoyed Renee's books in the past, but sadly this book wasn't for me as her others have been. However, I am looking forward to whatever story she comes out with next.

I started this book with youthful optimism and a romantic's outlook. As I continued to be a part of Penny and Gavin's past, both my optimism and romanticism grew. As I was forced to endure their present my heart broke, my optimism withered, and my hope shriveled. This book is not an easy read. It's not unicorns and butterflies. Nothing is easy except that kiss.

Blind Kiss has an unusual meet cute. It's exciting, nervous, and the stuff romance novels are written about. Every crazy heart filled wish springs from that kiss. And yet, reality gets in the way. Life happens. Doubts, fears, and bad choices spring up. Love is misguided by pride, hurt, and loneliness.

This book will hurt the optimistic romantic. It will dull your shine for a bit. But you can't give up, there will be no quitting. Blind Kiss redeems it's depressingly realistic story with an incredible surprise.

Join me in a toast...to love!

I'm a huge fan of Renee Carlino and since I discovered her I have read all of her books. Blind Kiss is her newest angsty second chance romance. This book has more angst and back and forth than I have read in a long time. I wanted to love it. I really wanted to love it, but something was just off for me. I didn't really love either Gavin or Penny. I liked them. I even felt for them. I was mostly frustrated and mad at them for not speaking up and admitting to their feelings. It was a long fourteen years and I swear I yelled and cried the entire time. Their love was fierce, but it was never enough. The timing was off. The situations wrong. It was too frustrating for me. I still love Renee and I can't wait to get my hands on her next book.

Blind Kiss by Renee Carlino was full of angst and love, loyalty and friendship. This book had me all over the place emotionally. I felt their heartbreak, their happiness, their love and loss.

Penny is a dancer in college when the story opens. She takes part in a psychology experiment to see if a blind kiss will make you feel anything if you cannot see the person and just go with feelings and chemistry. Gavin is more of a free spirit going from one girl to another living life how he sees fit. When Penny and Gavin meet their sparks ignite. Penny pushes Gavin away and Blind Kiss takes us on their journey of ups and downs in their lives through adulthood into kids, marriage, etc. One decision puts them on this course like a roller coaster ride.

Their friendship – best friends – as they call each other, keeps them in their lives forever. They are their person for each other. This makes it hard for their other relationships. No matter how they try at times to stay apart, they always wind up needing the other one. Penny’s husband, Lance, has always had a hard time coming second. Penny lost herself in her marriage, and just coasted through life. They say timing is everything, and Penny and Gavin are never in sync with it being the right time for them to be together.

This book was so emotional for me. Although Penny and Gavin can be frustrating at times, I loved them and their friendship. You may get frustrated with the characters, and their indecisiveness but it is so worth it. Renee Carlino does a fabulous job telling this story, and you will have all the feels through the characters plight. You may love it, you may hate it, but one thing is for sure, you will be emotional throughout it. I give it 5 stars, and am a huge fan of Renee’s.

With an off the charts angst level, Blind Kiss left me with all the feels. Honestly, I finished this book 24 hours ago, and I still haven't been able to process exactly how I feel about it! Laughter, tears, screams, and everything in between will be felt while reading this emotional story.

14 years ago Penny & Gavin agreed to be part of a "Blind Kiss" study, both wanting free coffee, and neither expecting it to change their lives forever. Despite their undeniable chemistry, Penny keeps Gavin firmly in the friend zone yet their relationship is anything but platonic. As the years go by they each make decisions that change the course of their lives, but their bond never seems to falter.

With a story that spans decades, Renee Carlino takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster. While I'm still torn on how I ultimately feel about the story and characters, I can say without a doubt that it was a beautifully written book. While I wanted to scream & jump through the pages to strangle Penny, or hug Gavin, I was so engrossed that I couldn't put it down. I felt every emotion, and that right there is the sign of an amazing author.

Blind Kiss centers on Penny and Gavin. From beginning to end we learn about their friendship and when Penny marries and has a child, needless to say things head into a different direction!
Jealousy, angst and family and also sad moments, this book is certainly different! Its like anyones life, with the trials and tribulations that happen!
A roller coaster ride and I often wondered how it would end!!
A good heartfelt read!

4.5 stars

"I loved women, especially the weird ones. But Penny was more unique and talented and beautiful than any girl I had ever met."

The blurb is the perfect summary of this book. It all started with the blind kiss experiment, during which the sparks flew off of Penny and Gavin. I was intrigued to see how things between these two characters would develop. Normally, I love the dark and broody types, however I loved Gavin's dramatic and chaotic personality (not always though). Penny, was more serious, dedicated and had her life somewhat figured out. Gavin didn't really fit her plan that much, but she couldn't get rid of him. He was exciting and unpredictable, and I really enjoyed reading about his unique antics. Because we go back and forth into the past and presence, we already know that Penny and Gavin settle on being just friends. I wanted to see how these two came to make this difficult decision.

Were there times I was annoyed by the decisions made by both Penny and Gavin? YES! Especially, Penny made me angry at times at the decisions she made. She had her dramatic moments as well, which made me roll my eyes. However, would these two have made it if they got together when they first met? I have no idea. Blind Kiss was definitely angsty at times, but nothing I couldn't handle. Did I cry? Yes, I shed some tears, especially towards the end when my heart broke. I have a love/hate relationship with books that go back and forth between past and presence, however, I think it fit this story very well. I really enjoyed this story a lot, and I was hooked to the story until the end. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars was because of the last quarter of the book. In my opinion there should've been more chapters, to have me fully enjoy the story. Everything kind of came together too perfectly and then it was finished. It left me a bit unsatisfied to be honest. However, the rest of the story was beautiful, original and heartbreaking at times. I highly recommend this book!

4.5 Hearts

Holy angst, Batman! I have never wanted to cheat and read the end of a book so bad! But I was a good little reader and didn’t do it. I actually didn’t even read the synopsis so I went in totally blind.

This is a story of friendship, family, life, and love. It all started with a kiss. An epic kiss. A kiss that starts a friendship that Penny and Gavin didn’t expect. A friendship that walked the line. That line between friendship and more. Until she had to make a decision that would change their lives.

Sorry...I can’t go into it more than that except to say how it made me feel. I felt for Penny and Gavin. I fell for Gavin from the very beginning. He is funny, smart, sexy, and protective. I liked Penny from the beginning. She had a lot to deal with with from beginning to end. I got it. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to throw my kindle at her head a few times. The angst, I tell ya, the angst is strong with this one. The anticipation killed me. Their story pulled me in. As much as I wanted to slap them, I want to hug them.

Overall...this book is one hell of a ride. I cried. I laughed. I swooned. I cried some more. I was a mess.

Quotes:

“Yes, Penny. I want to study you . . . I mean with you. I’ll be here.”

“I’m looking at you. I always see you, Penny.” His eyes were intense.

“Well, Tiny Dancer, I came here to see a show.”

I don’t know how to rate this. If I would go based on my personal taste I would give a “I did not like” the story. Not because it was poorly written no Renee Carlino did a very good job as usual but I really don’t like angsty books or stories where the main characters obviously love each other but are dead set on being with other people depriving them of what they really want.



Let’s say you are not put out by these same tropes but are an angst junkie then you will adore the book and ask for more. I know this for a fact as one of my very good friends said “talk about angst galore” and gave it four stars. Yes Malene, that’s you.



The book is told in dual POV and goes back and forth between past and present.



We follow this dance between friendship and love all along and get to witness this first “blind kiss” for the sake of an experience followed by Penny’s decision to put Gavin in the “best friend corner”. I adored this blind kiss scene and the first scene when they are fighting in the parking lot.

I also loved Gavin as he was handsome, carefree, made mistakes so he was perfectly imperfect.



As the prologue and the synopsis suggest, fourteen years after their blind kiss an event will happen and they will have to make decisions again: stay friend or go the way down to lovers.



I don’t want to give too much details and I am not allowed to use quotes to illustrate this review at the publisher’s request.



Just know that their “dancing” around each other and denying what they really felt frustrated me. Gavin made a bad decision and was not present when Penny needed him and it led to them going down a path that could have been avoided.

Penny then decided what was best for her future knowing she was not choosing the road to true love. She became a shell of herself, slowly fading from the vibrant girl she’s been. I thought she really made stupid decisions but on the other hand she’s been hurt and distressed at these times so I should be understanding yet I just could not stand it. Sorry but this simply was not my cup of tea.



If you are an angst junkie though this will be your next fix! So please don’t let my review deter you from reading it. Make your own opinion.

What might have been? I thought. What could still be?"

I ended up loving this one but the angst factor is absolutely OFF THE CHARTS!! 'Blind Kiss' is a fabulous, emotion-filled, slow-burn romance with an incredible Epilogue.

Gavin and Penny meet during an experimental study in college. They both agreed to kiss a total stranger while blindfolded in order to test their physical chemistry. They have an incredible, earth-shattering connection that leads to them becoming...best friends! Gavin wanted much more but Penny, a gifted dancer, was too wrapped up in her dance program and her college studies to become romantically involved.

Timing is everything and sadly, Gavin moves on with someone else. Penny and Gavin's relationship is examined over the years and the book alternates between past and present. I could not believe that Penny would give up on the love of her life, and my heart was broken many times over for Gavin, who was completely devoted to Penny.

"You still take my breath away. When I walk into a room, my eyes are immediately drawn to you. And back then I used to think you were so vulnerable. Like you would break. I saw a glimpse of that today, but you’re not that girl anymore.”

The years pass and we learn that Penny is now married with a son in high school. Penny and Gavin's lives have gone in completely different directions but they remain close friends. Gavin is an integral part of Penny and her son's lives, but the author teases us by not revealing who Penny actually married, until after the 60% mark. Real life, family and professional obligations, and other relationships constantly come between Penny and Gavin. Penny falls into a sadly depressing routine and feels powerless to overcome her current situation. She feels unfulfilled.

"My life was usually an exercise in completing the same list of responsibilities over and over again. It was mundane. I felt like I was losing myself, who I was, and what my dreams were. But I had my bed and a roof over my head—at least that’s what my mother would tell me. And magically, there were only a few things to do today."

I did not warm up at first to Penny, but at the same time, I could NOT put this book down! I could not wait to see what would happen with Penny, Gavin and Penny's family. There is much heartbreak and angst and WOW, the ending took me completely by surprise. The author has an incredible way with words and I was engrossed in this story. I absolutely loved Gavin and felt his pain. And I grew to love Penny, too.

"It’s hard to understand how a woman could be loyal to two men, or how that even made sense, but it’s possible. She always said, There’s room for secrets in a marriage, but not lies . . . not deception."

Gavin always believed that there was some alternate reality where he and Penny lived happily ever after. But after the cold, hard reality of life tells him otherwise, over and over and over again, he finally makes his choice. What the author does after this is a masterful but of storytelling that kept me engrossed until the final word. And have a box of tissues handy for the Epilogue. You will either love this book or hate it but give it a try! Penny and Gavin are worth it!!

If I had to choose two words to describe the plot of <B>Blind Kiss,</b> it would be a massive case of <I>bad timing.</I> I’d add a side of stubbornness and stupidity <S>but that’s me being picky about the heroine</s>.


I’d noticed prior to reading this book, that readers were really frustrated with these two MCs. If you’re a fan of instant gratification, versus longer, more drawn out build to your love stories, <B>Blind Kiss </b>might have you throwing your kindle against a wall... just saying. I tend to get really pissy when authors string things along or use contrived drama to keep me from getting my happily ever after, but with <B>Blind Kiss,</b> I was pleasantly not as annoyed as I thought I’d be. I think the credit goes to <B>Renee Carlino </b> in making their story fairly realistic. Don’t get me wrong, our heroine, Penny, isn’t my favorite character in the world and if I could’ve reached into my kindle and shook some sense into her, I would have. The hero in this story, Gavin, was by far, my favorite character. He too, not without mistakes, but a little less annoying.


This book is a giant case of <I>friends who love each other but one is just not willing to “go there” for fear of losing their best friend.</i> They meet each other as volunteers in a psychology college study, an experiment on human nature purse se, where two complete strangers are blindfolded, put into a room and told to kiss each other. No visuals to affect their chemistry, just sound of their voice, smell, and taste. Is chemistry about visual or do we even need to see a person to connect at that higher level?


One thing <B>Renee Carlino </b>excels at is finding refreshingly different plot lines not ever used by other authors. It brings to light ways people connect apart from the “guy meets girl and fall in love” tropes. Be it <I>Before We Were Strangers</i> centering on a Craigslist Missed Connection ad or a college psychology project in <B>Blind Kiss</b>, I love her ability to conjure up human connections that transcend the common plotlines.


<B>Renee Carlino </b>captured me as a reader with <I>Sweet Thing</I> many years ago and I’d have to say those two characters, if you’ve read that book, remind me very much of these two in <B>Blind Kiss.</b> Gavin is as endearing, humorous, loving, but a bit of a man-child. Our heroine, Penny, the more ‘responsible,’ in her head, and utterly strangle-able (is that even a word) at times.


I love a book that’ll instill a plethora of feelings and <I>Blind Kiss </i>will deliver THAT, in spades!


<img src="https://p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1427478435/14274945.png"/>

<img src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/394/18603960805_6375234501_o.jpg"/></a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/readingescapadeblog"><img src="http://icons.iconarchive.com/icons/designbolts/cute-social-2014/48/Facebook-icon.png"/></a> <a href="https://twitter.com/allipalk"><img src="http://icons.iconarchive.com/icons/designbolts/cute-social-2014/48/Twitter-icon.png"/></a>

It’s 1 a.m. and I just finished what has been so far my biggest emotional rollercoaster of the year. This book will make you want to throw your book across the room at times and at other times it will make you melt in the best way!

Gavin and Penny meet in college during a psychology experiment and couldn’t be more different. They do have chemistry though and that’s enough for Gavin. He falls in love with girls fast and is over them even faster. Penny firmly friend-zones him, however, and they begin a friendship for the ages. They share laughs, heartache, loss, and family over the years, but the timing is never right for them.

This book kept me guessing and I had to finish it in almost one sitting because I needed to know what was going to happen. Just when I thought I knew, something else happened and it went in a totally different direction. I loved this about this book and this is what Renee Carlino does best.

The only reason I gave it 4.5 stars is because I felt the ending was a little rushed, but still rounded it up because other than that, this book kept me reading until the wee hours of the morning, and any book that can do that deserves all the stars!

2 ‘self-inflicted-angstfest’ stars

This story is a hot mess. An angst-ridden ‘romance’ riddled with bad decisions, unnecessary heartache and a whole lot of frustration. There are readers out there who will love it, for me, it was hours of my life spent mostly eye-rolling and I finished it with an overall feeling of ‘meh’. So forgive me while I purge my feels.

I was wary going into this book seeing how others were reacting to it, but I’m a big fan of Renee’s and was curious enough to give it a try. It started off promisingly. We meet Penny and Gavin when they are in their 40s, best friends since college who clearly mean more to each other than just the friends they are pretending to be.

He held me for a long time. When he started to release me, I said, “It’s not enough.”
He picked me up again and squeezed me harder. Tucking his face into my neck, he said, “It’ll never be enough.”


Penny and Gavin met in college. Penny, a 21-year-old who was a bit lost emotionally, but was absolutely focussed on a career in dance, and Gavin, a 23-year-old who was confident, natural and laid back, spontaneous and a bit chaotic. They both signed up for a psych experiment to share a kiss while blindfolded to see if attraction can exist without seeing each other. In their case, it was a definite yes. Their brief moment together is full of chemistry, and sparks something in both of them, but while Gavin is ready to go full speed ahead, Penny wants to focus on her dance and asks for time. So they enter into the emotional purgatory of best-friends-who-want-more-but-can’t/won’t-have-it.

I walked up to her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and kissed her neck. She didn’t move. I made eye contact with her in the mirror. “Why can’t it be more?” I whispered.
She shook her head. I couldn’t read her expression. “This isn’t enough for you, is it?” she asked.
“I want all of you.”


They both hoped for a ‘one day’ for them, but life and stupid decisions get in their way, derailing their plans for something more, and sending their lives in directions that neither of them anticipated.

The timeframe moves between the present, 14 years ago to their early relationship, and then to the nine months leading up to the present, alternating between Penny and Gavins’ POVs. It may sound complex, but it works really well, giving us a great picture of the different aspects of Penny and Gavin, and their complicated relationship.

And OMG, what a relationship! It can be summed up by this quote:

“I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to keep you close.”
“I know, but it hurts to be this close.”


*sigh*

Renee Carlino writes wonderfully emotional stories, and I’m sure a lot of readers will find this book emotional and angsty, feeling all of the ups and downs that Penny and Gavin experience over the years. But I just couldn’t connect with it. I could see that they were hurting, and I wish things could have been different for them, but it was all their own fault so I didn’t feel much at all. Bottom line - if they truly wanted to be together, they should have fought for it. Instead, for whatever reason, they let go too easily and then spent the whole book wallowing in the consequences of their continuous bad decisions. Call me harsh but I have very little sympathy for that kind of stupidity.

And I couldn’t get behind two people who were so clearly carrying on an emotional affair with each other for years and years even though they were both in committed relationships with other people. I have no tolerance for that when they so easily could have done something about it, and sadly it made them both pretty unlikeable for me.

There are a lot of ups and downs for them over the years, and after all of the turmoil, the ending comes quickly, feeling really rushed. And though it ends well, by that point I had run out of fucks to give and I really didn’t care whether they ended up together or not.

I want to reinforce that these are just my personal ramblings. I’m not the most tolerant person, and stupid behaviour like this just ticks me off. There’s no denying that Renee Carlino is a very talented writer, and she’s done a great job putting this story together. It’s just not for me.

2 stars.