This was a really good read and very insightful of some of the hardships that young gay men and women can face as they come out and try to forge their way in a sometimes inhospitable society. I loved Max, I really championed him and could not wait for his story line to pan out. It was upsetting at times, hard to read in places, but understandably so, It was very good though, realistic and very important. I would recommend it as a necessary read for the youth of today. Compassion and understanding is key for the social inclusion of all.

Major fatphobia. Harmful. Unrealistic, unnecessary and triggering abuse. Avoid this book - it is not the fat positive story it claims to be, but in fact the opposite.

Super cute and super gay. A little over the top at times but really covered some modern issues in a great way.

I was just chatting with a coworker the day I started reading this about how it’s been forever since I got lost in a good book, and that night I was unable to go to bed until I reached a point where I knew the characters were going to be all right! I cared so deeply about Max and Cian that I put off finishing this book so I wouldn't have to leave their story. I'm going to end up buying and treasuring this book.

I received a digital ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.

This was a beautifully written story. Only the second book I've read by Matthew J. Metzger the other one, Sex in C Major, was incredible as well and I highly recommend it.

The story of a horribly bullied 16 year old, Max is suffering from depression and body image issues. While he reluctantly accepts the support of his family and a new friend, in the end he's able to change his life and establish some goals and a future he can look forward to. Watching Max develop some self esteem over the course of this story was a journey in itself, and one well worth taking. Metzger paces the story well to make this young man's evolution truly believable.

I recommend Big Man as an extremely well written, poignant, and very unique YA story. While very different from Sex in C Major I get Metzger's style and I'm definitely a fan.

Rating: 4.75 stars out of 5

Max Farrier wanted to follow in the family footsteps and join the Navy once, but he’s better off focusing on just surviving his last year of school and going to work in Aunt Donna’s shop once it’s over.

After an incident at school puts Max in the hospital, Aunt Donna’s had enough. She signs him up for private lessons at a Muay Thai gym. Boxing—she says—will change everything.

But it’s not boxing that starts to poke holes in Max’s stupor—it’s his sparring partner. Cian is fifty percent mouth, fifty percent attitude, and isn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with a bully in the street. Cian takes what he wants, and doesn’t let anyone stand in his way—not even himself.

Big Man is my first novel by Matthew J. Metzger that I can find.  It will definitely not be my last.  Big Man is an incredibly moving, deeply impactful story.  It recounts one young man's journey from a state of intense poor self esteem, wanting to hide within the walls of his home due to bullying and his body hatred, to one of happiness, pride, and ability to move forward in life.

It is not always an easy story, especially since the voice is Max's and as we meet him he's a beleaguered young man under attack at school.  The bullies there are relentless, having just put him into the hospital again.  The reader gets the raw account of this very attack right down to the moment he blacks out from Max's perspective and it so painful.  Trust me when I say parts of this book are very difficult to read as it must be for those who are actually bullied.  You can actually feel Max's fear when those three boys approach him.  It's visceral in its ability to churn your stomach and his.

You see Max is a big, gentle man. Read that to be obese as well as large period.  He's called Fatso Farrier at school by the bullies and that name has become ingrained in his mind and soul to the point he can't move past it.  There are other major transitions as well in his life.  His beloved grandfather, who stood in for his dad who died with he was a toddler, has passed.  They recently moved into his 'Aunt Donna's' house. His mother is happily remarrying... his 'Aunt Donna' (not that he has a problem with that, he doesn't), and he needs to decide his future if he is going back to school for 2 more years.  So much on Max at the moment that he's caught in stasis.

I'm debating saying more here because later in the story so much becomes clear to Max and to the reader at an important juncture.  If you are familiar with people fighting with  poor body image and/or issues with weight, some may be aware of some of the emotional factors that go along with them.  Here those factors are gently clued in, one by one until finally we get the entire package that is Max Farrier, past, present and, yes, future.

I will say that the author seems familiar with these issues and treats Max with sensitivity and compassion while sort of coming at it sideways.  By that I mean, Max (and the reader) isn't seeing the whole picture right up until the end.  We are Max.  We don't notice things changing until others tell us.  It's a format that works here beautifully.

One of the 'people' telling Max things?  His boyfriend Cian.  I have no intention of spoiling that wonderful aspect of this story. I'll just say that character and storyline is an absolute joy. In fact, one of the things about this story is families. What makes a family, finding and creating families.  And the love that  binds them together.  This story is full of that.  Max survives because of that, and lives to become the person he was always meant to be. Someone magnificent.  A Big Man.  Don't miss out on this story.  It's heartbreakingly wonderful in all the best ways.

Yes, it's one I highly recommend.

Cover art: Natasha Snow.  The  ocean is an important element for Max and the story but I wish somehow the cover was different to reflect how amazing this novel was.

Max Farrier has no love for himself. He is bullied because of his weight and because of this he has changed school two times before. This hasn't helped and he is severely bullied in his present school. Max sees himself as a failure. He is 'Fatso Farrier' and he will never amount to anything or become anyone. Worst of all he will never get to join the navy like the men in his family. Max grieves for the father who died when he was a child and he grieves for his grandfather who was always there for him. All Max can do is suffer through the final year of school and then get an apprenticeship with Aunty Donna, his mother's girlfriend.

Thankfully Aunty Donna has other ideas.

Max's mother is planning her wedding to Donna. Max gets on ok with Donna but he is a bit resentful when she orders him to go to boxing lessons. No boxing, no apprenticeship. Max doesn't want to box but he has no choice because he desperately needs the apprenticeship.

The pain and the agony from the boxing class is dreadful as Max forces himself to move his body and pushes himself. In any case he persists and as he does so he gets to know his boxing partner Cian. Cian is trans and cool and wiry and an excellent boxer. Max realises that he is attracted to Cian but he knows Cian will never feel the same way about him.

As he learns how to box Max gets to learn more about Cian but he also gets to learn more about himself. Life begins to change and he begins to realise that perhaps he isn't a failure, perhaps there is more to him than meets the eye and prehaps he does have a chance, but these are dangerous thoughts which require courage. Can Max find that courage within himself and listen to the person he is becoming or will he retreat inside himself, hiding from the bullies and from the opportunities that whisper to him?

I dont generally read YA books but I thought this was an excellent story. Max finds the courage to go for what he wants and as he steps out his life begin to change. It is a heartwarming story because not only does Max find courage, he also finds friendship and love.

I loved Max and Cian and their friendship and the way it gradually becomes love. I found the school teachers and Max's mother to be very irritating. The school teachers seemed to have no clue that bullying was happening until things escalated and Max's mother seemed unable to grapple with the fact that her son was obese, unhappy and with a very low self esteem. Thank goodness for Aunty Donna who saw what Max could be and pushed him to a place where he could reach for opportunity.

The story is really well written and it is very interesting. I cheered for Max all the way through. I wanted to jump into the story and hug him. It is a very inspiring story, showing the importance of love and support and the way in which we can either encourage each other to dream and work towards our dreams, or we can seek to oppress others. Max had such low self esteem and no self worth. It was so painful to read and then as he struggles with his self image and begins to believe in himself the story becomes empowering.

Of course I loved Cian who had been bullied at school but who had fought back and who was fighting in a different way, fighting to be who he truly is. Cian encourages Max and helps Max to see possibilities and potential.

This is a lovely story about a young man who finds himself, recovers his lost dreams and finds happiness within himself. This is a beautiful story and definitely one that will stay with me for some time.

Copy provided by Ninestar Press via Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

"But Fatso Farrier hadn't put in his opinions form. Fatso Farrier hadn't graded yesterday. Fatso Farrier didn't have a reference from his boxing instructor for the Navy. Max had."

Disclaimer: this quote sounds offensive out of context, but actually is one of the most moving and heartwrenching moments in the book. So you should read it so you can understand it. :)

Let me start this review with six words I mean with all the feeling in my dark heart:

Max and Cian have my heart.

Honest to God: I went into this hesitant to the point of resentment due to the mixed reviews. I thought it was going to be insensitive and kind of obnoxious.

The only obnoxious thing about this book was how precious the romance was and how profound the character development was. It was just that good.

Spoilerless things to love about this book: the sweet yet badass Max Farrier that will always be my "big man." The sassy and strong love of my life Cian. The beautiful British setting. (Can you tell I'm American?)

So go read this. Do yourself a favor and enjoy this glorious creation and all its originality. You won't regret it.

It seems that this book is a little contested, with some thinking it is fat-phobic, and some thinking it is fat-positive. I can't really offer an opinion on that so...

To me, it was cute. I enjoyed Cian, I enjoyed Max as well. This is the first time that I've read about a male character with body dysmorphia, so that was new, and welcome. Overall, the book gets points for being inclusive as well as just telling a really cute story.

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this book, but what I got was a moving story of self-acceptance.

Max “Fatso” Farrier is fat and bullied for it, and he doesn’t expect that to change. All he wants is to keep his head down and finish his compulsory schooling so he can get away from his tormenters. However, when Max is injured by one of his bullies to the point of being taken to the hospital, his mother’s partner signs him up to learn Muay Thai. Max is horrified by the prospect of learning to box, but she forces him into attending the training sessions. The pain of the unaccustomed physical activity is a little easier to bear because of his sparring partner, Cian, who is brash and tough, a good antidote for Max’s despair. Cian helps Max realize that the vision Max has of himself isn’t necessarily what others, including Cian, see.

The heart of this novel is Max’s transformation from viewing himself as worthless to understanding his own value as a person. He may be large physically, but Max diminishes himself in his own mind. Part of his transformation involves his realization that being fat doesn’t define him, that he can be healthy and strong even if he will always be bigger than the average person. This change prompts Max’s refusal to continue to accept being bullied and to fight back if necessary. He also recognizes that his self-loathing has kept from doing well in school and is holding him back from pursuing his dream of a career in the Navy. As he learns to accept himself and see his own strengths clearly, Max comes into his own as the “big man” of the title.

The LGBT+ aspect of the book is very well written. Cian is trans, and the author does a terrific job exploring their feelings for each other. Early in the book, Max sometimes sees Cian as a girl and other times as a boy, and he finds his attraction to him confusing in terms of his own sexuality. That questioning passes fairly quickly as Max embraces Cian in his totality as a person. The two of them do have a physical relationship, and the complications that involves are handled sensitively by the author.

Overall, this is a terrific novel about a teenager learning to see himself clearly and to value what he finds.

A copy of this book was provided through NetGalley for review; all opinions expressed are my own.

I am warning you now, this is going to be a ramble of epic redhead proportions. This book was so much more than I thought I was getting and I am head over heels in love with Max, Cian and Matthew Metzger for giving me their story.

From the blurb, one could assume this book would be nothing but the self-hate of an overweight boy who is bullied and made happy by losing weight and that would be dead wrong. This book is so much more than that because while all of that; the self-hate, bullying and happiness is found in the book, it only scratches the surface of a truly profound read of finding yourself and loving yourself enough to love another person.


"There will always be people who want to stomp on you. They don’t care if you have the right to go about your life how you like; they don’t care if you’ve ever done anything to them—they just find it funny. There will always be those people. And the best way of warding them off is letting them know you’re not a victim, that picking on you is going to end very badly for them.”

The book opens with a violent encounter between Max Farrier and the boys who bully him. It’s violent and made me sick to my stomach with what they do to Max that ends him in the hospital. We know, as the story is told from Max’s POV, that this happens regardless of the school he goes to, that he can’t out run what people see and do to him but Max is lucky he has a carrying Aunt Donna who knows he deserves better. Now I admit I didn’t like Aunt Donna when she first came on the page. I am not a fan of violence in anyway and her theory of Max learning martial arts to protect himself was all fine and dandy but my original introduction to her didn’t sit well. That is until she told Max about being attacked for being a lesbian and then it made sense. She doesn’t want Max to be violent, she wants Max to learn a skill to yes be able to protect himself but also to build his confidence enough to stand up for himself. So after that and through the rest of the book, I adored Aunt Donna and what she has done for Max and his mom. Oh yeah, Aunt Donna isn’t really his aunt, she is the fiancé of his mother, the Aunt title just fit when they became a family and it’s stuck.

I was excited that Max would be learning Muay Thai. I love the sport – via my crush on Gina Carano – and have always wanted to take it up at the local gym in my town but I have always been afraid to walk in looking like an idiot who has zero coordination. You see, there is a lot of Max in this book that spoke to me. I’ll just get this out there now, I was that fat girl in school. The one everyone made fun of, pushed around, never picked for a team until I was the only choice left, the one picked on ruthlessly by the girls in the locker room when I pulled my too small shirts over my knees to stretch them out so they didn’t cling to my stomach rolls. The girl that was called Thunder Thighs and told my ass was so big it could be sat on like a shelf by the boy I once had a crush on. The girl whose mother would give her a piece of Big Red gum before she left for school in the morning, telling her that if she chewed that all day maybe she wouldn’t eat and could lose weight. The girl whose nickname in her family was “Fatty” and was put on a coffee diet in Kindergarten by one of her sisters because I was too fat and embarrassed her when she had to watch me. There are so many instances I can think of as a young girl and into adulthood and while I may have lost weight, I am still that fat girl. The weight loss didn’t take away the identity of that girl who was told for so long she was unattractive, unwanted and unlovable because her knees were fat. That doesn’t go away and yeah, it causes issues in my life even at almost 41 years of age but the self-hate talk, I try to tame it. Try being the operative word but it doesn’t always work. So Max, I get him being the fat kid in school but Max has an advantage, people who love him and want nothing more for him to be happy…no matter his size.

"It seemed too easy. Too Simple. Was a new boyfriend and a hobby all it took to be someone other than Fatso Farrier?"

So back to Aunt Donna. Donna signs Max up for private lessons at the gym to learn Muay Thai and Max must stick it out for 16 weeks or Aunt Donna won’t let him be her apprentice. On that first day, Max meets his partner Cian, who he believes at first sight to be a girl. Cian opens feelings within Max that he believes are beyond his grasp. But he still likes the sight of Cian and being partnered even though that first workout kicks his ass. I know what those workouts feel like. I have recently joined a gym which focuses on endurance events so I know that feeling of DOMs when it sets in and how you feel like dying so I was so damn proud of Max getting up and going again and again. Sure, he has the lure of Cian to pull him in and I adored so, so, so much that when Max is set straight about Cian, when Cian tells him he is a boy, Max decides he totally okay with still fancying Cian because well he’s Cian.

Cian. Wow. What an amazing boy to meet and read. Cian is this strong character that challenges Max every step of the way. He makes Max see what is in front of him even if that means looking down to see his ankles, because Cian is supportive and in his own way, on a journey of self-acceptance just like Max. With Max, it’s about his weight and being able to stand up to the boys that bully him and Cian, he’s a bit more complicated and I fell hard for him with his “layout” struggle and how it all makes him feel.

“If I can’t be brave with you, I might never be.”

This book takes you on a journey of these two young adults and doesn’t hold back when dealing with their issues. Max doesn’t set out to lose weight by going to the gym but it’s a byproduct of his hard work and dedication. His story is not saying goodbye to being “Fatso Farrier”, but owning the name and turning into something he uses for himself and lets it breathe a new life. Words can hurt, they can leave terrible damage when used as weapons but when we take those words and take ownership of them, they become ours and names like Fatso Farrier become an empowerment and not contempt. Really, this isn’t about Max losing weight so much as about Max becoming an athlete and building the confidence to trust his instinct. That instinct is important with Cian and with the boys that bully him but when it comes to Cian…

Gah! These two were adorable and I loved the way they came together. All the teasing while going through their private workouts together and the friendship they begin before the romance comes into play. For two young adults these two had excellent communication and that made a huge difference. It was amazing that Max could ask Cian questions about being transgender and Cian was open to it, even if he had his limits on Max staring. The exploration of sexuality between Max and Cian was stunningly gorgeous and so respectful and yet, so on point for a couple beginning a relationship. Yup, even at this age it was perfect and they really brought out the best in their partner.

"He could feel Cian. Not the girl, not the boy, not the passage between the two. Just Cian. He wanted to feel that everywhere, all of the time."

I have written so much already and haven’t even said anything about Max and his desire to join the Navy and be an officer like his late father and the Farrier men before him. Max lost his father when he was three and the male figure in his life was his grandpa who has passed now as well. I felt for Max because once again we have something in common. Where Max used to build models with his grandpa and hasn’t since he died, I used to read and discuss Stephen King books with my late father and haven’t touch a single one in the 20+ years since he’s been gone. Max has so much more to deal with than just his weight but just like anyone, we are so much more than what is seen on the outside.

This book! Wow. I cried at least a dozen times with moments that were so profound, there was no other way to react. I cheered for Max with every step that takes him closer to being the Big Man he can be and yeah, that title, it has a meaning that is at least threefold to the story and not just about what Max weighs. I loved the stories of his father and how Cian calls him Big Man… sigh.

That epilogue made me grin like a fool and made me have a minute or ten with my Nook to hug it out.

Again, this book was so much more than I thought I would be getting and just know, Max and Cian stunning, brave, strong and so freaking adorable.

This was so good.

So good.

I was a little afraid of this book when I went into it. I avoid heavier books that deal with situations like degradation or abuse just for my own mental health so when I read the blurb and saw that bullying was going to be a major part of it I was unsure. However, I really wanted to read it because I hadn't read any Matthew J. Metzger yet and I wanted to. I'm not going to lie the bullying scenes were tough to get through and felt like they went on forever, because they made me tense, but I never once felt like Metzger focused in on them they way some movie directors do on degradation scenes in movies. I appreciated how the bullying added to the main characters internal monologue rather than having it run the internal monologue.

The main character, Max, starts the book unhealthy in body and spirit and emotions. I don't mean this is a book about a fat person learning to love themselves by losing weight because that's both been done to death and is also toxic. No Max starts the book being a mostly sedentary person and one the only food the reader "sees" him eat are ginger biscuits and a six pack of soda. Max views himself as very fat but he's also not the most reliable narrator when it comes to describing his body as multiple times throughout the book, while characters do acknowledge that he is a big man, other characters describe him in more favorable terms than Max does. Max's stepmom, he calls her Aunt, enrolls him in Muay Thai and while Max does get more in shape he begins the novel a big man and ends the novel as a big man. In between he also gains some self-respect, still working on that, and love.

Speaking of, I loved Max and Cian. It was so nice to have a teenage boy represented as so open, honest, and guileless. And Cian was fun, bubbly, and tough as nails. Both characters are given moments of strength and vulnerability. I loved reading their relationship grow. Metzger did what so many authors do not, he showed his characters communicating. This is especially a rare treat with teenage protagonists.

What a great read, informative, funny, heart wrenching and well written.

A really interesting story, and one that young adults and older adults should be encouraged to read, appreciate and understand.

Honestly this was a do not finish (dnf) for me. As a plus size girl i can relate with the bullying although it never got physical thankfully but i just could not connect with the main characters. I really tried but got maybe 3 chaoters in. overall it was a very good book. Maybe it being a british book the slang threw me off? i really wanted to like it. The idea was really great and it was very well written. Still going to give it 3 stars.