While I was attracted to the title and the description of the book, I didn’t realize that religion would play such a big role in it.

While I don’t mind a bit of spirituality in my readings, I found the amount of Biblical références a bit too much for me personally in this book. While many of the personal stories resonated with me, I hard à hard time connecting fully to the book.

I still think that some of the advice given is good but others just didn’t do it for me personally.

I have been a follower of Debra Fileta's blog for some time, and have found her writing on marriage & relationships refreshing in the Christian world. She acknowledges the challenges of dating, singleness & marriage in today's world - and doesn't shy away from them. Instead, she addresses them head on and encourages readers to look for solutions and wade through the everyday hard stuff.
I loved the format of her chapters in this book - how each and every chapter was titled after a particular choice regarding relationships, and presented the way you can actively choose the better option. As I read through, it made me ask the questions of myself - was I choosing marriage and the best things for it?
I also appreciated the balance between practical insights, personal stories and scriptural truth. I did find, at times, the writing to be a little 'dry' for lack of a better word, and occasionally repetitive. That being said, it is a great marriage book and one that I will recommend to new couples, dating couples & even those who have been married for a long time.

What a lovely, useful book! Author Debra Fileta is a trained Marriage Therapist. She writes and offers advice from the heart. The title of the book says it all, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We > Me, In a time when many people have been convinced that ME is so important this book is a refreshing reminder that WE is what provides lasting satisfaction. WE provides more meaning, more growth and more value.Whether you are happily married like me or struggling in your marriage, this book will lift you up and offer some beautiful tips to grow within your marriage.

Choosing Marriage is a faith based marriage and relationship book written by Debra Fileta, a licensed counselor. Why is this book different than other Christian relationship books?? It has so much! Deep, interpersonal issues we can actively work on to improve our relationships. What she writes makes so much sense and resonates deep within me. Choosing Marriage certainly shows a different perspective on why we should get married and more importantly, how to stay married. I really enjoyed reading this book as it shows a positive Christian view of marriage.

One of the first things that really grabbed my attention was when author Debra Fileta wrote about marriage not being about you, but about the other person in the relationship....loving the other person. Not just loving the other person, but forgiving the other person, empowering, lifting them up.... That is what a committed marriage is supposed to be. Whew! Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own sense of injustice, that I truly do not see his side. I recommend reading this book for engaged or dating couples as well as any couple in a committed relationship at any stage. I believe this book lays down important principles that we need to have more fulfilling relationships and to help the other person feel more loved and fulfilled!

This book is well written, easy to understand, and balanced with pertinent scriptures and scientific research. (Research /notes at the back of the book so they do not distract while reading). Without a hint of judgement or condemnation, Choosing Marriage includes many examples that I found easy to relate to.. This is something that many Christian marriage books fail at- offering advice and counsel without condemnation. OR worse, taking that really holy I know all and you know nothing tone. You will not find that in Fileta's book. There are steps I am already taking to be a better partner that I think have already softened my heart. Opening my heart to why we each have walls and how to show love when the walls come up is challenging but I am working on it. Even if Christianity isn't your thing, I believe the information presented is crucial for relationships.

Some of the strongest concepts that are discussed in Choosing Marriage are the true vulnerability in intimacy and the different types of walls we can build up to protect ourselves. I like that Fileta goes into reasons behind the walls and how these walls can really isolate a person, especially even in a marriage. There really is so much that this book offers, that I feel like even offering just the highlights does not show the significance of this book. I think the section on intimacy and sex is very powerful. Communication skills, examining the walls within, and the Circle of Marriage are my favorite parts of this book. I am talking to my boyfriend about reading through this book and the questions at the end of the chapters together.