Honestly don't have an interest in reading this anymore but I do appreciate being approved for the arc.

The first thing you need to know about this book is that it's in a choose-your-own-adventure format, only it can't come out and say that specifically due to copyright. Instead, it refers to itself as a "choose a path" or "find a path" book, which for some reason didn't make nearly as much sense to me. It also didn't work well for me as a structure, given that I was mostly interested in seeing if there was new information in it for me (a nonbinary/agender and aroace spec person who still wants to learn more about all members of the LGBTQIA+ community). I'm too impatient to sit there and flip back and forth a hundred times or more to go through all the paths/gender adventures, so after a couple of messy attempts at following the paths, I simply read it cover to cover. Which is NOT how this book ought to be read, ideally, as many of the sections repeat each other and end up feeling very fragmentary if read in sequence. Still, the information was mostly good, and there were some really interesting contextual examples.

*I received an ARC of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

I think this book, by definition, is a textbook.

And I looove textbooks.

They might not be as fun as novels or memoirs… But there’s something enchanting about knowing that you’re reading information assembled with the intention of teaching. I know I find it downright fascinating. When I read that “She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters” was written as a choose-your-own-adventure… Well, immediately, I was even more fascinated. Skeptical, too, of course! I had never heard of non-fiction written this way.

I think the book, overall, worked. Written as an introduction to all things gender —and its expression through identities, roles and preferences—, the book is basic but vast, covering a lot of ground. It’s not as comprehensive as gender and sexuality demand; this, though understandable, will be a bigger or smaller flaw depending on the path your story walks. I believe this was particularly glaring in non-cisgender “adventures”, which was a big shame, considering how fully the title and cover include non-binary identities as part of the book’s audience.

My experience reading my path, as a cisgender woman, had me nodding along. In most pages, I felt seen and understood. Being seen is always worthwhile, and through the pages, I confirmed things I already suspected about myself and got to explore others. I particularly loved how the book started. The first choice made it clear that “gender” is not a tangible, unchanging concept:

“You’re born into a time and place where gender exists…
…You’re born into a time and place where gender doesn’t exist.”

Gender, and everything we understand by it today, was constructed once. Throughout human history, our perception of it has changed and evolved; it’s been defined and redefined, and I think the book made this clear with subtle aplomb.

Despite all its virtues, I don’t think the book is perfect. But after reading paths that differed drastically from my own life, however, I thought this experience the book’s biggest success. Though flawed, the book lets its audience inhabit the skin of many others. As a professor —of graphic design, not gender studies—, I couldn’t help but think that the book, complemented with more thorough essays, would allow for very interesting dynamics in a classroom. I would definitely use it, if my classes ever veered into gender.

I hope the author comes back to this project. I truly believe that a second edition —one that expanded on the non-binary paths— could turn a good book, into a great one. In the meantime, I do recommend this version. We need more literature willing to tackle gender as the fluid, ever-changing concept that it is. This book manages, and it does so in a very interesting way.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a copy.

I had a hard time getting through this. It was so slow and it made me tired while reading. Maybe it wasn't the best executed for me.

Well it's no coincidence that I am writing this review during Pride Month. She/He/They/Me, is written in such an educational manner that it is a must-read for anyone. You can take the journey of following your own path, or read the book page by page, which I opted for, and it above all teaches you and re-teaches you gender, sexuality, and preference. As an ally, it has brought nothing but new educational facts to support my position and teach that to others. Robyn Ryle, has pulled the thread that unravels all of what we, as humanity, think we know, and if given this book a read would definitely understand ourselves and others. You don't have to be a part of the LGTBQIA+ community to appreciate the work put into this book, but anyone, LGTBQIA community or not, can learn so much about who we are as individuals and those around us.

I got this book as en eArc through netgalley in exchange for an honest review
This book is written in an ”choose your own adventure” way, so you can expect to turn plenty of pages as you go both back and forth to find your destination.
I really enjoyed reading the different branches and paths. I started by following my own, and then I took some other paths to try and see where that would land me. It was an interesting experience, and rather interesting!
This book was full of information, but sadly I already knew a lot of what was written. But if you’re new to exploring the whole spectrum of genders and sexualities, then this book as a good place to start. You’re introduced to the basics and given information about the cultural and historical aspects of gender, which is very cool.
Given the cover and the blurb I assumed the author would refrain from using cisgender as the norm, but sadly there are places where the phase “man vs. trans man” and “woman vs. trans woman” appear, and there isn’t a lot of focus on the less known groups as intersex and non-binary.
All in all this is a very informative book written in a fresh format that makes it a fun read. It’s not a book you read from cover to cover, and after a couple of paths you feel like you have “experienced” it all.

An appealing and creative approach to gender matters. teh amount of reasearch behind this project as incredible and I respect the author because of that and her passion for the subject, but I found it a bit bothersome not to have more information about genres in other countries and societies out of the US. Other than that, I liked the book and would like to explore other options and paths in the future.

As a nonbinary person I was excited about this choose-your-own-path book that seemingly would allow you to follow a path of no gender or a gender other than male or female. Therefore I was quite disappointed when I exhausted the gender variant options within 15 minutes. I would love love this book if there were more paths for people who don't fit into the gender binary and if it had more information about nonbinary identities, but unfortunately it was lacking in that area.

This is a wonderful book on the nuance of gender. I'm fairly well-read in the subject matter, and I still learned something. The amount of information and history this book contains is seriously impressive. I think the flip-book "choose your own adventure" style is novel and allows for a custom reading experience. The back and forth makes it friendly and easy to digest. The stand-alone nature of the segments means it is easy to just flip to a random spot in the book and get something out of it. However, if you subscribe to the "open the book to a random page" philosophy of reading, the book will lead you to flip to more and more chapters. Be prepared rto learn many things.

Although it is available on kindle, I strongly recommend that people buy this in paper--and I'm someone who prefers to read digitally. I don't think the flipping around is easily accomplished in digital format. For myself, I started reading online through Net Galley but waited for the actual book release to finish the book in hardback.

It's thorough, inclusive, and fun to read. I'd recommend it to anyone interested in exploring gender or someone frustrated by trying to explain gender to someone else.

Thanks Net Galley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

*I received an ARC of this book from Sourcebooks through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

I read this book in one sitting, it was impossible to put down.

I was drawn to this book because it discusses one of the topics that interest me the most: gender. Then, I read it was a choose your own path book and it blew my mind. How can a non-fiction book be written in that style? I’d like to start this review by stating that the author made it work. It takes a while to get use to, but it ends up making the read very interesting and it gives it a somewhat personalized feeling. I must caution potential readers (as does the book), it does not intend to be an exact recreation of every individual experience (with gender there is no way for it to be). But it does tackle many important issues about gender assignment, gender identity and gender expression.

While reading the book I tried to stick to my own path, choosing the chapters as true to my case as possible (I may have taken a peek at other chapters too, oops!), so my experience with the book can be very different from the experience of others. I appreciated that the book contained definitions of the vocabulary being used, because even though I was familiar with it, others may not be, and the book seems to be interested in people who are just coming into the gender discussion. Being written by a university professor I thought the language would be somewhat inaccessible, but it wasn’t, and I also appreciate that. In addition, the author brings into the discussion important and relevant statistics (for example, gender inequality statistics by country) that I didn’t know about. So, in this sense, the book was very educational for me.

I wouldn’t want anyone to take my next comment as a deterrent to read this book. My only “problem” (I call it this for lack of a better word) with the book is that at some point I felt it made an incorrect assumption about queerness. Specifically, because it assumed that someone who identifies as queer would necessarily be in a same-gender marriage. But, as I stated before, I do now it is difficult to encompass every minute detail about gender in just one book. So, even though it bugged me a bit, I’ll let it pass.

I read all the conclusions for the book, and I found myself nodding at all of them. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to delve into the gender discussion or anyone who is eager to know a bit more about it. Also, I think it is a good personal exercise for those of us who are constantly looking into ourselves to explore parts that may have not yet been discovered. I look forward to reading other paths (aside from the one I chose based on my personal experience), I’m sure it will be fun, too.

I like choose-your-own-adventure books and this one was about genders so of course I'd be interested. I firstly picked answers from my own experiences (and learn things) and then chose other options to see what it could be. In a way this was great because there were a lot of explanations and definitions but for a book about genders, most choices were only about being a man or a woman which really put me off. But the choose-your-own-adventure was a great way to make us learn about genders, about our own experience, and try a totally different experience.

Certainly an interesting read and suitable for those who want to learn something new about gendered identities. Not necessarily for those who just begin their journey, but also for me who quite understand some for some time. Highly recommended due to its unique format!

She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters is a fabulous book that takes the reader on a route through the reality of social history and customs that come along with gender roles and identities. It starts by asking whether you are born in a time and place that gender exists. Your answer determines the next page you go to. My journey took me to a society where people are born with two genders. Since my gender assignment, expression, and identity are all matching, you would think my journey would be a hop, skip, and a jump and done, but Robyn Ryle explores more about gender than you think and finds elements to complicate things such as how we feel about our bodies, disabilities, the work we do, access to birth control and more.


I love the warm and optimistic tone of this book. I loved going to a new page and seeing “Congratulations!” as the first word. Of course, it’s not all fun and games. Ryle recognizes realistic cultural biases and oppression, but the tone is so warm and comforting that the book makes a person want to continue the journey. It was intriguing and even fun to follow other possible journies that lead us all to questioning how we think about gender.

She/He/They/Me will be released on March 5th. I received a copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

She/He/They/Me at Sourcebooks
Robyn Ryle author site

★★★★★

I went into this book expecting one style of writing and got another. Ryle explores gender through the make your own story page finder and this is an interesting way of looking at it. The non-linear nature of it means that as a reader you do not have the same reading experience and the way the book is structured that some routes are dead ends that do not go anywhere.I enjoyed reading this and it made me consider what gender is and how it is treated in countries that aren't the UK or USA.

I got an ARC of this book.

I was really excited for this book. It is formatted in a way that I have never seen a gender book formatted before. It fit for one of the reading challenges I am doing this year and it is about gender which is one of my favorite topics. 

The book is really basic level stuff, which is nice. It does get a bit repetitive if you read it straight through, but Ryle clearly put in effort to minimize that. The book can be read straight through and make sense, so if you wanted to make sure you got all of the stats and ideas out of the book, it would work. 

I have three issues with the book. Just two, that is pretty fantastic. Ryle clearly knows gender. I am impressed with what she was able to do and how she was able to make it interactive. My issues come down to some terms she used or didn't use. 

"Stealthy" is not the term that the trans community uses for not being openly trans. The term is Stealth. Like it isn't a super big deal, but if she was able to learn and teach trans topics so well in other areas (though she did fall a bit short when it came to the medical sections for trans people in a few ways, but they were so inclusive and affirming I can look past some of the details since they were small), she should have known that basic term. It is one of those terms that is being hotly debated all of the time and has been since trans hit the more mainstream world. Is being stealth the goal? Is being stealth a compliment? Is being stealth privilege? There are so many debates going on and she still didn't get the term right. 

She was so off about asexuality. Asexuality is not a lack of sex drive or a lack of desire to have sex. It is a lack of sexual attraction. Pretty much every time asexual was brought up I cringed. I am asexual, I talk with asexual people every day, I am part of asexual support groups. ASEXUALITY DOES NOT MEAN NOT HAVING SEX. Many asexual people have sex and enjoy sex. Many asexual people are kinky even. Many asexual people are completely grossed out by sex and will never consider having it in their lives. All are valid. Ryle misses that concept and minimizes a whole sexuality down to an act, despite warning the readers repeatedly to not do that. 

This book would have made a ton more sense if the term sex was used to refer to genitalia or chromosomal "gender". It would read smoother and make things easier to understand. It would have saved so much explaining and so much headache trying to figure out which sort of gender she was referring to when she said gender since she had some many gender options from identity, expression, physical, and more. This one is more a personal preference. Most of the people who I have read that have gender and sex as interchangeable or refuse to use sex as a term, tend to not be as inclusive as Ryle has shown herself to be. So I was really shocked. Normally it is a cis white (probably straight considering the way they talk about sexuality) dude who decides that his word is law who does this. 

So overall this book is pretty damn fantastic. There were some issues here or there, but for most people they will not even notice them. I just wish the asexuality portion was correct, then I could reasonably give this book five stars. I am just so tired of people getting it wrong and having to defend my sexuality to show it exists.

Think of She/He/They/Me as a ‘Choose Your Own Gender Adventure’ book. You start the book off making decisions about your sex, gender, identity, and where you are within human history – from here you explore the world around you and what your life would be like with these factors.

As an educational resource this book is amazing. Through it’s very interactive format, readers can easily grasp the differences that gender, sex, and identification can make and how they can affect a person. Not only this, but the book provides a historical and societal context for the way in which these ideas are perceived and how people are treated.

Please note, above I only mention gender, sex, and identification but She/He/They/Me explores so much more. With each decision and chapter that you progress through, you learn more about either yourself or the theoretical journey your decisions take you on.

I would recommend this book for everyone wanting to find out more out about gender; the book is a beautiful resource that not only educates about gender identity and sexuality, but history as it explores the past and our potential future.

Please note: I received a copy of She/He/They/Me from NetGalley.

I loved the way this book was formatted it was a very unique reading experience. Fr the rest was this book very quick to read, very informative but I don’t think it will stick with me. Still something I would highly recommend as it is a comprehensable guide to gender.

This was a fascinating take on teaching the concept of gender. It's presented in the form of a choose your own adventure novel which is wildly interesting in a nonfiction. For me it fell a little bit short, but it's a really interesting teaching tool.

This book is quite an adventure! It's written in a ''choose-your-own-path-advendture'', and you can jump in between the chapters as you go. I read it chronologically, (because I'm anal like that ;), and that works as well.

This book is informative without being boring, (a tiny bit repetitive for the chronologically reader), and a journey into the anthropological gender studies. Very fascinating!

To be recommended!

This choose-your-own-gender-adventure is an informative and approachable way to unpack gender, sexuality, socialization, intersectionality, and identity. It's a great tool in a lot of ways - for exploring your own identity, for learning about gender in different times and places, and for putting yourself in the shoes of someone with a very different lived experience. The concept of gender can be hard to wrap your head around, and this is such a refreshingly unique way of approaching it. She/He/They/Me is a great introduction for those new to conversations about gender and for those who want to explore what a different world could look like.