Unfortunately I was not able to read the book. I did not have the correct reader link to download this book.

Thank you to netgalley I received this as an ARC. I enjoyed it very much was good solid read. Solid 3.25 Stars for me!

I chose this book because I have been struggling with the lows of extreme loss and trying to reconcile my faith through it all. This book not only showed me a fresh honest perspective it gave me the tools to help those around me. Thank you to the author for sharing his story.

My favourite thing about this book is its absolute honesty about where Ferguson is with his faith. It's easy to talk about bad stuff or doubt and then gloss it over with a flippant "I'm better now" or "I've overcome that" especially when you're a preacher.

But Ferguson doesn't take the easy way out. Right near the beginning, in his introduction, he hits you with this:
"It wasn't that I doubted God's existence. No, I doubted whether I mattered to God at all. And if I didn't matter to God, then how could his Word offer any hope to me?"

Towards the end, through the expected look-aheads and positive notes, he also offers acknowledgement that the fight isn't over yet, with these:
"Sometimes I get mad at God. Often the only time it seems I really talk to him is when I need something."
"Though smiling and laughing at memories happens often, fresh tears are never far away.... So keep wrestling. Don't quit. Remember this is just a battle--God has already won the war."

In between, Ferguson explores 26 different stories from the Bible, both OT and NT, from a single perspective: pain and brokenness. He's honest about where he was and where he sometimes still is: running away from God, doubting God, questioning God, struggling so much against all that we're supposed to know and be just by virtue of being "Christian." At times, it looks bleak, but at times God's light also shines through. Sometimes he asks the hard questions, even those he would rather not ask, would rather not know.
"The real question isn't why he did or why he didn't. The real question is, Will we serve him anyway? The real question is, Will we trust him?"

I think, in the end, what you get out of this book will be what you put into it. Ferguson is being vulnerable here, and if you're still hiding behind that pretty veneer of respectability and strength, you'll spend most of your time avoiding the hard-hitting questions. True, not all the stories and narrative (and questions) impacted me personally, but as a whole, Ferguson tackles a difficult subject from a wealth of experience and from multiple angles.

Don't look for platitudes of faith where everything is nicely tied up and presented. You'll find instead plenty of brokenness on display--and yet despite it all, shattered faith is still faith.

Note: I received a digital copy of this book from NetGalley. I was given the book with no expectation of a positive review and the review is my own.

Les Ferguson is a pastor whose life was torn apart when his wife and son were murdered. He begins the book with an autobiographical section entitled "I am a Mess" in which he describes his personal trauma and journey to recover a normal life.
The rest of the book consists of short chapters that are studies of biblical characters. Ferguson applies his unique life experience to the lives of the biblical characters and finds insights that are not found in traditional exegesis. He states: "My approach has been to look at them sideways. To see beyond the flat page. To consider multiple dimensions. To put ourselves in their shoes." He does a good job of seeing old stories with a new perspective.
Thanks to NetGalley and Leafwood Publishers for providing an advance reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

5 stars

Pastor Les Ferguson Jr. suffered an enormous tragedy when his wife and son were brutally murdered. While his faith in God never wavered, he began questioning the whys of what God allows to happen. Pastor Ferguson stepped down as lead pastor at his church. He shares his quest for answers, his eventual remarriage and return to the pulpit.

This is a phenomenal book. Early in the book, he states that those who have suffered from some life-altering tragedy knows the exact moment when their world imploded. It really resonated with me. Every person has had a traumatic or life-alternating event in their life and Pastor Ferguson has written a Biblically solid book to help navigate through the pain and the questions.

Each chapter of the book starts with a Bible scripture about a prominent person in the Bible from Genesis to Jesus who wrestled with God over circumstances in their life. He uses a very unique approach to teaching these stories, literally any Christian will be able to relate to and learn from this book. Each chapter ends with questions to ask yourself and points to ponder.

This is the first book I have read by Pastor Ferguson and it will not be my last! I highly recommend this book.