Member Reviews

Dessa is talented and this memoir was fascinating on various levels due to her complexity. She is a writer of words, notes, and was an entertaining story teller in this book when sharing her story. I was fortunate to have read this early prior to its release.

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Dessa is absolutely brilliant. She is a fabulous writer and performer and this memoir only underscores that.

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A great presentation of Dessa's path. The essays are open and gritty, vulnerable and bold. Dessa weaves together stories of music, family, science, and personal growth.

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There's never been a music memoir quite like Dessa's. "My Own Devices" is at once a behind-the-scenes look at a professional musician's life, a meditation on the tumultuous love affair that has inspired much of her music, an affectionate account of her family life, and a scientifically-oriented consideration of What It All Means. In short, it's pretty much everything any fan has ever hoped for from a music memoir.

For Doomtree fans, the book is a poignantly candid look inside the dynamics of a famously collegial group that, we learn here, has also been the site of a decade-plus, hot-and-cold, always affectionate and sometimes erotic but often platonic relationship between Dessa and one of her bandmates.

Between the musical and romantic interludes, Dessa lovingly describes her family members. There's her father, who built his own glider and became an expert at it, to the point where she considers framing a set of plans for the vehicle: "That set of blueprints would better represent my father than a framed portrait anyway." There's her mother, a pithy character who decides to start growing her own grass-fed beef and recruits her daughter to capture her first slaughter on video. There's her brother, who works "in the edibles sector of the legal weed market," giving another meaning to "grass-fed."

Beyond Dessa's talent for balancing the lyrical and the informative, "My Own Devices" stands out as a book about a work-in-progress. Dessa's a nationally successful musician, but she's not a universal household name like many of the artists you read books about: Joni Mitchell, Beyoncé, Prince, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan. Although she writes about life as a musician, she doesn't actually write much about her music as such. That's one reason the book remains accessible to people who didn't come to Dessa through her music, while of course being fascinating for those who did. It's the story of a journey, one that's continuing.

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Dessa is a hip-hop singer/songwriter with solo performances as well as through the group Doomtree. I had first heard of her through the song "Call Off Your Ghost" that was featured on the podcast Welcome To Night Vale. It's a song that grabbed me immediately with its emotion and her singing. I looked up the rest of her discography at the time, which I enjoyed just as much. It's an eclectic mix of rap and hip-hop rhythms with some classical allusions along with the everyday elements of heartbreak, sadness and trying to relate to others.

This memoir is a collection of essays as eclectic as her music and just as poignant. The essays chronicle her life on the road, and it's an interesting look at how the club circuit actually works, as well as an introduction to the lingo used. Her life has played out in a zigzag of ways: valedictorian of an IB program in Minneapolis, a Bachelor's in philosophy, and getting consumed by her artistry and the relationships around her. We see glimpses of her parents, step-parents and her younger brother, as well as famous names that she interacted with. Her relationship with her ex, in particular, is one that consumed her, the two orbiting each other for years out of love but difficulty maintaining a long-term and mutually healthy relationship. It's a relationship that readers may be able to identify with, and one that she tries to excise with neurofeedback in the final essay of the memoir. She worried that it would lessen the impact of her music or her ability to create her art. There's a new album out, and it hits me emotionally just as much as her earlier work. Dessa really didn't have to worry on that front!

I don't usually look into the private lives of celebrities or artists, feeling like it should be exactly that: private. What we see on stage isn't necessarily what goes on behind the scenes, after all, but for Dessa, it's one and the same. She exposes a lot of her life through poetry, spoken word, and her music. Reading this memoir actually gives me more context to her music; I wound up going back to watch the videos and listen to the lyrics again, and I have more of an appreciation for the process and the emotion that fuels them.

It's an open secret who her ex is, though I didn't try to go back to figure out who it is. That wasn't important for the context of these essays. I was more impressed by the fact that she creates math problems when bored or stuck on the road, that she can equate the beauty of the integral sign with the f-hole of a violin, and that she would make the comparison in the first place. She and her family are all creative individuals in their own ways, and I can see how it all culminated in her own eclectic interests. This was a fascinating look into her life and music, and I enjoyed every page of it.

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If you've listened to Dessa's music, you know the power her words have to pull you into her shoes. I haven't been reading many memoirs lately, mostly because I just haven't felt the appeal. I'm so glad I requested this ARC, because as soon as I read the first page I was entranced. Her voice, so confident and brash in her rapping and songwriting, is even moreso in her writing, her storytelling as intimate and recursive as her verse. It felt less like being in her shoes and more as if she'd loaned me her metaphorical glasses. Minneapolis is a central figure in the book, but her writing hinges on relationships and family, viewing them through lenses of smaller moments and footnotes that wind through her career as a rapper-artist-writer-musician. No matter where you are in the book, you share space with someone she loves and concepts she tumbles through to focus on the world.

If you haven't listened to Dessa's music yet, you'll want to after reading this. Thank you for the ARC, NetGalley. I can't wait to get it in print.

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Seven years ago, my boyfriend gave me a CD for Christmas filled with Dessa with some Dessa-heavy Doomtree songs to boot. "I really think you'll like her," he said as he handed me the CD. Well, here we are.

My Own Devices is just like reading one of Dessa Darling's songs but in long form. It means so much to me that she was willing to write this book - I love knowing the driving force behind something that I care about so deeply. I've always talked to her after shows (and trust me, I have been to *A LOT* of Dessa/DTR shows) and reading this book felt like reading a piece of her heart (and brain).

Non-fiction is not normally my jam, but Dessa is. If you want a well-written book that delves deep in what it means to love someone for a long time and the struggle living with that, a book about just life, then I highly recommend you pick up this book.

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