What a practical but perfect book for people who are wondering how to step in and be a source of strength and comfort when someone is struggling with cancer. And, to be honest, much of the advice and guidance can be used in many situations. I appreciated the various levels of help you can offer depending on your relationship. If you're a really close friend vs. an acquaintance, or somewhere in between, the author suggests types of assistance you can provide she also helps the reader determine where you fall in that realm of cohort.

Thank you to NetGalley and P&R Publishing for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This is tremendously helpful book on a very difficult topic of what to do when one’s friend is going through cancer. The book is written by Marissa Henley who herself is a cancer survivor. It took me a long time to finish the book but I am glad I read through this book slowly. It was extremely helpful and I took pages after pages of notes along the way. In God’s providence I read this book as a pastor who at first was curious about ministering to those who have cancer as a hypothetical scenario and therefore it wasn’t a priority but then it turned out I really did needed this book in ministering to someone who really had cancer a few months after I first began this book. I am glad this book was written as I found it immensely helpful for pastors though it was written for lay Christians in the church. I recommend this book and rate it five out of five.


The book consisted of thirteen chapters. All the chapters were tremendously helpful. The first ten chapters is focused on ministering to a friend who has cancer. Chapter eleven shifts the focus on ministering to friends or church members in which their spouse, parent or child have cancer. Chapter twelve discusses “when there’s no cure” while chapter thirteen discusses the topic of supporting a friend who survived cancer.

I cannot stress enough how helpful this book has been. It exceeded my expectations. It made me think a lot about things I haven’t considered before. I found in the beginning of the book the discussion of circles of friendship one is at in relations to the person with the cancer tremendously helpful; it allows one to consider just how much one can help and also what the assistance would look like according to where you fall in the circle of friendship; yet one shouldn’t despair if one want to help more as time would often bring those who are consistently helpful in the outer circle into the more inner circle. It is a realistic framework that I haven’t even thought about before. Yet this isn’t just theoretical as the author gave a lot of practical suggestions of what assistance to someone with cancer look like according to one’s place in the circle of friendship. The chapter on unhelpful religious platitudes was also a great read in the book and shouldn’t be missed. Also the book’s discussion about the struggle of those surviving cancer was also an exceptional chapter in a book that has amazing chapters. I never realize how hard it is for those who survive cancer from the fear of cancer coming back to the reality that things aren’t the same like it was before the cancer and also the skeptical cynicism that cancer truly has disappeared. The likelihood of the return of cancer is also very probable which affect one’s outlook and planning in life.

I can’t stress enough just how life changing this book for me as a young pastor. It wasn’t just helpful in terms of ministering to those with cancer but it was also helpful for me to be better equipped and more considerate in how I minister to those with other serious illness. As I said in the beginning God really used this book providentially in my ministry. I believe many others who read this book have been tremendously enriched, equipped and ministered by it. Maybe the next person who can benefit from this book is you.

NOTE: This book was provided to me free by P&R Publishing and Net Galley without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

This was a helpful, practical book written from a woman cancer survivor, written for women who are friends of cancer survivors.  I didn't realize the book was only for women, it would have been nice to have a "guy" chapter or something, but a lot of the material still applies to men.  The end of each chapter has a practical list of questions and to-dos that make the book very concrete.  There were also some very helpful theological discussions about pain and suffering.  Just about everyone on the planet has somehow been influenced by cancer, so this is a needed book.

Marissa Henley has written a wonderful, thoughtful book about being the best friend we can be to someone who is struggling with cancer. It’s a heart-rending situation that many of us have faced or will face again. I am so glad that I was able to read this book and now have it as part of my library to refer back to during these difficult times. The author helps us understand the struggle from the patient’s point of view, She gives practical “action steps” at the end of each chapter. I appreciated the fact that she also addresses this from the level of friendship we may have with a specific friend.

I’ll be referring others to this much-needed resource.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

Excellent discussion, valuable to anyone traveling this difficult to understand road with a family member, loved one, or friend. Likewise for pastors and elders/deacons.

Really good book about caring for anyone going through a tough illness not just cancer. It’s written from the perspective of a cancer survivor so it’s full of great advice how to give help and what kind of items a person will actually need. It was well written and very inspiring.

I wish I had read this book a year ago as my sister-in-law was fighting breast cancer. There are often no words to help you care for those dealing with life threatening diagnoses. I just took chocolate cake! I will be buying a copy of this book for sure to give to families who need help learning how to help. Thank you netgalley for the arc. The review is from my heart .

This book is full of wisdom and guidance that could be used with anyone who is suffering trough a tragedy. We all know someone who is suffering through cancer and sometimes we have no clue what to do for them or how to support them. The author does a great job of sharing her story along with practical tips and ways that allow us to help and to support those we love in times of need.
Such a great resource. I think it is a book everyone should read because it can apply to so many different struggles.

I read this both as someone who has had the priviledge of being alongside friends and relatives who have had cancer, and also as a Cancer Survivor.

Written with honesty this book is full of helpful advice and suggestions regarding the support of others, and it also highlights the importance of being kind to yourself as you support.
A strong Christian faith under-pins advice offered and personally I found this reassuring, affirming, inspiring, and at all times truthful and honest.

I highly recommend this book - it is practical, and non-patronising. There will be acts of support or service to others that you may automatically think of, others that occur to you as you read. The book takes the stress out of having to think or wonder.....anecdotes show rather than tell, and check lists help organise thoughts and actions. Further reading is mentioned and thorough indexing, and Scripture quotes make thr book easy to navigate.

I am very grateful for the understanding and empathy shared by Marissa - 30 years after my cancer I am reassured that my initial reactions as a Cancer Survivor were natural and common.

Though written with friends and family touched by Cancer, this has advice which I am sure will aid in the support of people touched by other diseases and illnesses as the whole person is holistically considered - mind, body, and spirit.

One of my very close friends recently had a cancer scare, and I have had numerous family members walk through a cancer battle. It never gets any easier, and it is often difficult to know what to say and do at times. This book had some helpful tips on how to help a friend who is struggling through cancer. The author talked about what to do as an inner circle, middle circle, or outer circle friend (i.e. meals, restaurant gift cards, freezer meals, how to much to ask, how frequently to contact the person, etc). She also recommends having another trusted friend or pastor to help you with your own emotions during your friend's battle because the person who is ill will not be as capable of being a support system for you during that time. She talks about skipping the religious platitudes, selecting Bible verses that are appropriate at different times, and that sometimes saying less is more. The author also outlines this method of communication with the one suffering: This sucks, but God is good, and I love you. Overall, it was a good book to read to help you be more sensitive and helpful to a friend who is battling cancer.

A "must read" for anyone who knows someone diagnosed with cancer and that is all of us. As a cancer survivor, I related to the thoughts and experiences the author shared. Friends, family and even strangers often don't know what to say to a person with cancer. The awkward words or no words at all can bring sadness. In this informative and encouraging book, the author shares personal thoughts and wisdom gained from the cancer journey. Practical ways to help and comforting words to express are included. Excellent resource. I received a copy of this book from the author and this is my personal honest opinion. No review was required.