Member Reviews

I enjoyed this book. It was an interesting diatribe on the modern habit of rudeness from Donald Trump down. It seems that it is now fashionable to be rude which is unfortunate. Manners are no longer necessary and being pleasant and kind is an outdated notion.
Some interesting comments from the author.

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I've got to apologise for being rude to this book. I thought it would be fine, but no great shakes – a collection of thematically-linked reprints of the author's disposable but witty columns in the completely disposable and oh-so-easy-to-be-rude-about Shortlist magazine. Then I saw it was not that – although column-styled box-out asides do crop up. No, this is a serious study of rudeness – what it is, how it might have grown, what we think about it when we encounter it, what fraction of it we admit to causing, and so on. And the result is superlative. In discussing psychological study findings so well – with levity and seriousness, passion and perkiness – we get a book that's right up my street. A few of the studies seem to have cause and effect the wrong way round, but heck – just read the chapter about how doctors continuously misdiagnose and ill-treat patients if faced with a single instance of rudeness and pretend it's not a major issue for our times.

But Shortlist can still bugger off, Mr Wallace excepted. £40 for a bottle of gin is bollux, I'd rather nuke Shoreditch than see the latest hipster breakfast bar there, and your film reviewer can't even describe a film, because he's a ninnyhammer.

Four and a half stars.

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An interesting read in places although Danny Wallace flits between some serious and interesting psychology behind rudeness, with some real life anecdotes which don't always seem relevant. The history of rudeness and case studies from the past, for example Mary Whitehouse, were fascinating and perhaps the book would have worked better going down this route.

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The author finds himself being rudely put down by a lady in a hot dog shop one day, and then embarks on a journey of self-confessed pettiness to study the nature of rudeness and figure out why she was being such a massive arse.

I can get behind pettiness, very few of us are above petty revenge but this does seem to be going a little above and beyond. That said, it does give the book something to tie everything in.

Aaaaanyway, he then discusses the nature of rudeness with a variety of specialists (yeah, they exist!) though not in any great depth. He also pays for a report to be written, surveying the opinions of 2000 people regarding rudeness – this was a highlight for me, I love statistics!

There were some really interesting chapters to this book, including anecdotes about Mockus, former Mayor of Bogota, Colombia and his unconventional approach to changing the attitude and behaviours of an entire city (it involves mooning and employing mimes, though not at the same time because obviously that would be weird).
I also enjoyed the exploration of ‘extreme honesty’ as an excuse to be rude and unpleasant under the guise of therapy and lifestyle.

The idea of the book and the research made for an enjoyable read, but the author’s voice didn’t really do it for me – maybe it’s just envy on my part that it comes as a shock to him when someone is overtly rude to him.

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I enjoyed this, and found it easy to relate to. We all encounter or partake in rudeness regularly. The only problem I had that it was a bit too long.
Well written, great humour. I would recommend it.

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I requested this book as I wanted a change from my normal reading choices. At first I found it interesting and occasionally funny, with Wallace seeming to be as much of a manners pedant as I am. But it started to get repetitive and lost its way a little. By the end I began to sympathise less and less with Wallace and to wonder if his constant position of being offended was actually the reason he is a victim of so much rudeness. It was an interesting idea for a book but didn’t quite hit the mark.

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A rallying cry for a return to basic courtesy and human decency, this is a book that is funny, well written and very educational. The Hot Dog Incident, which started Wallace's fascination with the rise of rudeness, is an extreme example of the kind of interactions nearly all of us have regularly, mostly with total strangers. Wallace examines this through research, observation and a light touch. If you despair for humanity sometimes, reading this book will make you feel less alone and also encouraged to be less tolerant of rudeness when you encounter it (and how to combat it). Because it's not your imagination - people are ruder than they used to be. And this book goes some way to explaining why, and why it is a contagious, vicious circle we must work harder as a society to break. Well worth a read.

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Totally agree with the premise of the book. Not a lot more to say really...not something to be read in one sitting and perhaps a little on the negative side although I have been accused of always finding an excuse for other people’s bad behaviour.
As expected from Danny Wallace it is well written and always sees humour in a situation.

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A book I so enjoyed and one which I found myself reading extracts from to anyone who would listen! Mainly that consisted of my following my husband around saying "you've got to hear this" and I loved the section on Mary Whitehouse (new respect to her) as well as the stats that intersperse this book, all of which I read with avid attention.

Danny Wallace takes the theme of rudeness from an (hilariously described) experience with a hotdog, to the potentially negative medical implications of rudeness and the importance of our role modelling positive behaviours and language.

It's a book that made me laugh out loud, ponder, worry (wait til you read about the potential risks linked to rudeness and surgeons / doctors and health) and consider my words much, much more carefully.

It also went some way to explaining (not justifying but explaining) why I continue to harbour bad feeling against an incredibly rude waiter at what used to be our favourite restaurant 5 years after the event.

I'd have liked more on 'so, here's what we can do about it', particularly, when being polite can sometimes be misconstrued, in life and on social media. How, for example, should women deal with inappropriate advances when a polite comment is all that was made? Think there could be a book 2?

Overall, this is a really really good read and, trust me on this, you'll never be stuck for conversation in the pub again. And, you'll have data to support your conversation.

Here's hoping we as a global entity, realise the risks in supporting mega rudeness like Trump and revert to politeness, if only to protect our race and sanity.

Thanks so much to Danny Wallace, Penguin Random House publishers and netgalley for the opportunity to preview this excellent read.

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Rudeness seems to be everywhere these days - from aggressive driving on our streets, to reality TV where producers intentionally generate antagonism to garner a response (and viewing figures), all the way to the White House. Obama led with thoughtfulness and inclusiveness, Trump took a different route, he's given presidential support to rudeness. He's taken a hostile path, showing that rudeness and intimidation is a viable way to get what you want; if the electorate thinks it's fine for the leader of the free world to mimic a disabled person (while he was in the room), to brag about misogynism, to insult opponents rather than debate with them - have us polite people already lost the war?

Danny Wallace, in his very readable book, take a humorous and broad look at rudeness. After his eureka moment, well, more of a hotdog moment, he embarks on a journey of rudeness exploration to see whether he's too meek, or whether the world is too hostile, or, are there just too many assholes in this world right now.

A funny book, some of the 'case studies' had me chortling away, and informative, this is well worth a read!

Book kindly supplied by Netgalley for an honest review.

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Danny Wallace has written a timely investigation into the way society has become so accepting of rudeness. Much of what he discovered we know intuitively but sometimes we need these things spelled out to make us sit up and notice consciously. I felt convicted for much of the early part of the book as he revealed how rudeness is contagious. I work in a school and towards the end of the school year I witnessed normally controlled teachers, myself included starting to lose that control. We were tired, in much need of a break and it showed! Trouble is, it infected the kids. However, as I read the book, I found myself being much more careful about my manners towards others around me.
Later in the book, Wallace found examples of how rude people get ahead in life because we find it 'refreshing' to hear someone say what we may be thinking. But is this really the kind of society we want?
There was much to prompt questions in this book about just how much rudeness we should accept and to remind us that we should be on our guard against becoming immune to it.
Whilst I don't feel I can buy this for a school library, I will recommend it to staff especially as we approach the end of the school year!

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As rudeness is the thing I hate most, I felt compelled to read what was described as the surprising truth why people are so rude.

Wallace suggests we are the rudest we have ever been; unsurprisingly the internet seems to have fuelled this via people seeking sensational clicks to earn a living, but also because people have an inflated sense of self worth. They fail to see how leaving messages on line comes with a responsibility they have not realised, something I describe as the arrogance of certainty. Other opinions just do not feature on their radar as they type their scathing condemnatory remarks.

The book is extremely easy to read. It is hooked around Wallace’s own experience of rudeness when he waited an hour for a hot dog. It is in this sense reflective, honest and relatable – something that he cleverly weaves in throughout the book.

There are a lot of studies/references worked into the dialogue, but it is not academic in its delivery. The studies are of modest sizes that need to be replicated to build a more compelling evidence base, but at least the subject is being researched.

Whilst all emotions are infectious, the impact of rudeness is worrisome. Studies show it reduces performance by 50%. The effect of a rude encounter can impact all day, something I think most of us can relate to when someone’s deliberate rudeness has got under our skin, causing us a bothersome after-burn. The greatest worry was the impact it had on a medical/nursing team – which I will leave you to read, but being rude to clinicians in this study had devastating impacts on the delivery of safe clinical care– and how much do they endure from the public alone on a daily basis?!

The book is a rallying cry for civility and self-reflection – whether it can hit the neediest ears may be its biggest challenge – but definitely a worthy overview with reassurance that it is being studied so that we may be able to put future approaches in place to modify this most dysfunctional behaviour.

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I’m a huge fan of Danny Wallace and this book didn’t disappoint. His writing is humorous and engaging and I liked the way this book also included scientific research alongside Danny’s examples of everyday rudeness. I highly recommend this book, thanks NetGalley!

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Be warned – this is more high brow than any of Danny’s previous books, but I found it equally enjoyable and engaging. After an unacceptable wait for a hot dog in a cafe, and then a rude response from a member of staff, Danny sets about finding out why people are rude. It’s a research based book and it helped me learn a lot about some of the people I work with! A great read.

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This book is very much a worthwhile read, it reminds you that being polite is not just an option we can choose, it’s far more vital than we give it credit for. I found it a little heavy going at times, it didn’t appear to be following a line of argument any more sophisticated than ‘we shouldn’t be rude’, but it was worth persevering with.

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A book about rudeness that really shouldn't need the F*** You title to get attention.

I enjoyed this slightly rambling foray into the psychology of rudeness. Wallace's 'inciting incident' - a server yelling at him about an hour-long wait for a hotdog - is both mild and rude enough to evoke sympathy and help readers 'get' what the book is about, ie not only why people are rude, but why we can't help but react emotionally - and while we can carry about feelings of anger about rudeness for so long.

Rudeness is contagious, he says, and I can see that for myself. One act of rudeness leads to someone feeling mistreated, who goes on to be rude to someone else and so on. But does anyone feel better afterwards? Unlikely.

I particularly liked the story of Wallace coming face-to-face with a Twitter troll - who hasn't dreamt of revenge upon someone who was WRONG ON THE INTERNET?

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I’ve loved Danny Wallace since I read "Yes Man" so I couldn’t wait to get stuck into “F you very much”. Wallace’s style of writing is my favourite approach to non-fiction writing. There’s a lot of interesting research but it’s interspersed with hilarious anecdotes that really lift the book and make it a page turner.
Aside from already loving Danny Wallace, the topic of this book intrigued me. Nothing is more annoying to me than rudeness. I probably spend most of my life thinking about why people have been rude to me, whether people think I’m rude to them and pre-empting rudeness. According to this book, concentrating so much on rudeness is extremely bad for my mind. Who knew?!
The story that sparked the author’s interest in rudeness had me belly laughing as I read it. The outrageous behaviour of Madame Hotdog and Wallace’s reaction to her was so ridiculous but also so relatable. I loved following Wallace through his journey to finding some kind of resolution to an interaction he felt so disrespected by.
I found all of the researchers, professors and experts he talked to fascinating and the way in which he interwove all of this research so that it came around in a nice circle and allowed him to end back where he started in order to find “closure” provided the perfect conclusion to a brilliant book.

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That was an interesting read. Perhaps not as funny as I had expected, but interesting nonetheless. Basing his argument on what he calls the ‘Hotdog Incident’, where he had to wait for 1 hour to get served a hotdog, and was rudely treated when he dared complain, Danny Wallace goes to explore rudeness and rude behaviours in general. Why are people rude? What’s in it for them? Why are the usual reactions to rudeness, and what do they reveal about people in general?

According to Wallace, it seems that there is something in it for rude people. Rudeness and bullying often tend to create a cognitive dissonance in people who’re at the other end of it, making them slower to react to it; so it looks like this explains why we keep wondering why rude people ‘get away with it’, when it’d stand to logics that they should be pointed at and shamed for their behaviour. I bet most of us had at least one experience of that kind (not necessarily about an actual hotdog) where hours later, we were still thinking about what we should’ve said or done instead. Why didn’t we do it for starters? Because of the shock of being treated rudely. I don’t know if the science behind this is really exact, however, I’m willing to agree with that out of empirical evidence, so to speak.

There were moments when I thought, ‘Did he really dwell on that Hotdog Incident for so long, isn’t that a little far-fetched?’, and it felt more like an artificial gimmick than an actual example to write a book about. But then, I guess it also ties with the point the author was making: what seems like little incidents can indeed stay with us for a lot longer than the few minutes or even seconds they took to happen.

And I do agree that rudeness is contagious. It’s happened to me quite a few times. If someone bumps into me in the street and doesn’t apologise, I’m much more likely to stop caring about the people around me: ‘If -they- don’t make way for me, why should -I- make way for them?’ So, it’s a vicious circle. Being aware of it helps, of course, because then it’s easier to act upon it. Still, it’s frightening how being rude can come… naturally.

A few parts are also devoted to exploring cultural differences, such as what is considered rude in one country but not in the other. Some of those I already knew about (the ‘Paris Syndrome’), others I discovered through this book. This, too, was interesting, because it puts things back into perspective. That’s not to say that we can afford to be rude because we can ‘make it pass as if it’s normal somewhere else’, of course.

The book definitely makes you take a look at yourself: we’ve all been rude at some point or other, and will be rude again. Yet acknowledging it is the first step to stop. (And if it helps facing rudeness from others in a calmer way, because we know the mechanisms behind it, I guess it’s also good experience to put annoying people back in their place.)

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I found this book interesting, but not as interesting as I expected, working with the general public and dealing with rudeness on a daily basis made me want to read about why people feel the need to be rude, it was quite insightful, but the humour I expected was lacking a little.

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Never read a book by Danny Wallace before but I was looking forward to reading it.
I enjoyed it. Great topic and have to agree with him on most of the points. Loved it was light hearted and funny.
Very enjoyable

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