Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 stars

I can’t help but thinking that timing has something to do with my mediocre reception to this novel. I think I would have been more receptive if I hadn’t recently finished The Kissing Quotient, which handled similar subject matter (and did it brilliantly). I couldn’t escape making comparisons between the two books and this book suffered a little because it came out after and the uniqueness was no longer there. While I’m making comparisons, it makes sense to say that the two novels are very different in their tone. Graves doesn’t address Annika’s anxiety and give it a clinical term until late in the story.

For Graves, this is more about the story of Jonathan and Annika and the things that went wrong in when they were younger. Taken at face value, this is a great security chance at love story. Graves did a great job showing how well the couple connected both in the past and when they reunite. I was very grateful to find out that the couple had a reasonable explanation of why they drifted apart and (thankfully) didn’t get hung up on communication breakdowns that would have turned this into a trite story.

Graves doesn’t follow conventions with this novel and I’m grateful for it. Had I not read a book with a similar character so recently, I think this would have had greater impact for me. As it was, it was a pleasant read with interesting characters and a believable backstory. You can do a lot worse than that!!

This. Book. Ruined. Me. There is really no other way to put it. The Girl He Used To Know hit me in all my sensitive spots. Annika felt very familiar to me, Jonathan was lovely, and this whole book was a widely emotional ride. One final thing before we get to the review, make sure you read the date at the beginning of each chapter. If you do, you won't be as shocked as I was by the event that occurs in the final fourth of the book. (aka I need to pay attention more) Let's get to the review!

Synopsis (from Goodreads):

Annika (rhymes with Monica) Rose, is an English major at the University of Illinois. Anxious in social situations where she finds most people's behavior confusing, she'd rather be surrounded by the order and discipline of books or the quiet solitude of playing chess.

Jonathan Hoffman joined the chess club and lost his first game--and his heart--to the shy and awkward, yet brilliant and beautiful Annika. He admires her ability to be true to herself, quirks and all, and accepts the challenges involved in pursuing a relationship with her. Jonathan and Annika bring out the best in each other, finding the confidence and courage within themselves to plan a future together. What follows is a tumultuous yet tender love affair that withstands everything except the unforeseen tragedy that forces them apart, shattering their connection and leaving them to navigate their lives alone.

Now, a decade later, fate reunites Annika and Jonathan in Chicago. She's living the life she wanted as a librarian. He's a Wall Street whiz, recovering from a divorce and seeking a fresh start. The attraction and strong feelings they once shared are instantly rekindled, but until they confront the fears and anxieties that drove them apart, their second chance will end before it truly begins.

The book is formatted so that each chapter is the point of view of either Annika or Jonathan. I really like when books do this because it helps break up the book and allows the reader to explore and connect with more than one character. The book also switches between periods of time. There are some chapters that show Annika and Jonathan's relationship in 1991 when they first meet in college and some in 2001 when they meet up again.

The book starts off with Annika. It's clear early on that Annika isn't like the people around her. Her social skills aren't the best, she doesn't like loud noises, and finds a lot of people's behavior very confusing. (same)

When we first meet Annika, she is a librarian, the job she has always wanted (ditto), and is doing the best she can to live her life in Chicago. She's seeing a therapist to help her understand other people and understand herself. One day, while she's shopping for groceries, she runs into her college boyfriend, Jonathan. The meeting throws her off-kilter. Their relationship did not end well and while Annika is so happy to see him, she worries what he might think of her.

But Jonathan's life isn't perfect either. He may have a fancy job in finance, but he's also getting over a divorce. While he is reluctant to meet with Annika after their first meeting, he doesn't say no to another meeting (or another one after that.) Eventually, they come back together, happier than they ever might have been if they never broke up. But can their relationship last a travesty that no one was expecting?

Between the chapters showing Annika and Jonathan reconnecting, we get to see what Annika was like in college and how she ends up meeting Jonathan. They meet at chess club, the one extracurricular Annika participates in. Annika has trusted the wrong people in the past, so when she first starts to have feelings for Jonathan, she makes him meet her roommate, Janice. Janice gets Annika. She knows how she is, what she likes, and what she doesn't, and she's saved her from more than one bad situation before. Once Janice approves of Jonathan, Annika feels even better about being with him and they begin what turns into a serious relationship.

But a tragedy, Annika's issues, and Jonathan's avoidance of certain parts of who she is (how did he think Annika was going to live in NYC? HOW?!) ends up breaking their relationship apart.

Luckily, their connection is reignited when they meet ten years later.

Ok. Time for trigger warnings. If you're old enough, you know what huge event happened in 2001. I am old enough and it still went over my head until I got to the chapter where it all goes down. Again, I should pay more attention to chapter headings!! If this event (I'm really trying to not give spoilers lol) is triggering for you, just be aware that it's pretty well described and the periods of waiting, when we don't know if a certain character is ok, are VERY intense.

For me, I had to stop reading and take some deep breaths before I could continue. My memory of that day is too good and my brother would have been next to the towers that day if his alarm had not malfunctioned.

That being said, The Girl He Used to Know is an extraordinary book. I have read a few other books this year that have had characters who were on the spectrum and the writers all did a great job developing them and making them more than "just" autistic.

Despite the fact that Annika doesn't necessarily know how to relate to people, Tracey Garvis Graves makes it easy to relate to her struggles and cheer for her during her triumphs.

I loved Annika and saw some of my own social anxiety and abandonment issues reflected back at me through her. Janice is also definitely my other favorite character. The care she takes with Annika and the love she clearly has for her made me so happy. It seemed like Annika didn't have too many people before she met Janice and Janice helped her out in so many ways that her family just couldn't.

And Jonathan is lovely. He may not understand everything about Annika but he's willing to learn and listen and understand what she needs from him. He also expects some things from her and I loved how adult their relationship was.

My only criticism, honestly, is that I wish the title of the book was focused more on Annika. Instead of "The Girl He Used to Know," I wish it had more to do with Annika or her and Jonathan's relationship. Right now, it makes it seem like we are going to meet this girl through a boy's eyes and that is definitely not what this book is. Annika and Jonathan are both their own people who come together because they make each other happy. Maybe this is me putting too much on to the title, but as I read the book, that thought kept coming into my head. 

Other than that, this book had me sobbing for at least ten minutes after I finished it. The emotion it evokes is incredible. If you ever doubted the power of words and stories, read this book and you'll realize just how powerful those things can be. I am giving The Girl He Used To Know 5 out of 5 stars. Add this to your TBR but make sure you have some tissues with you when you read it.

The Girl He Used To Know by Tracey Garvis Graves comes out April 2, 2019 (I know! It's a long wait!)

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martins Press for the free ARC in exchange for my honest review.

I loved this book so much! I was sad when it ended because I wanted more! Excellent book! I would definitely recommend this to all of my friends!

4.5 wonderful stars!!

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up The Girl He Used to Know - I’ve read and loved previous novels by Garvis-Graves (On the Island & Covet) and both dealt with the situations of love in somewhat taboo situations (tutor student, extramarital) so the story of Annika and Jonathan taking a totally different turn really surprised me and I absolutely love how this novel played out. Annika is a girl who is stunningly beautiful, but her autism has her lacking confidence when it comes to relationships. When she meets Jonathan at a chess match, they fall in love and her walls begin to come down a bit. The story takes place in two different timelines and the reader is aware something happened between the then and now to push them apart.

This book has such strong characters who are well developed and feel real as well as plot lines that will stay with you for quite some time (they will with me for sure)! I don’t want to spoil anything but I can say this book is a masterpiece and an absolute must read. Tracey Garvis-Graves has outdone herself here and I was thrilled to be an early reader of this beautiful book.

“The Girl He Used to Know” is the second novel I have read by Tracey Garvis-Graves and I was not sure what to expect. Chapter One opens in present time (which, in the book, is 2001) where Annika runs into her former boyfriend, Jonathan, who had returned to Chicago from New York a several months prior without Annika’s knowledge. The meeting is awkward and as Annika discusses it with her therapist, the reader instantly wants to know what might have led to the couple’s break-up.

From that point, the novel shifts back and forth from 2001 to 1991, which is when the couple first meets at the University of Chicago. The reader quickly learns Annika struggles with social situations and how to behave in public and needs her roommate, Janice, as a guide and tutor to how to fit in the real world. It is because of Janice, that Annika joins the chess club where she meets Jonathan. The reader learns how the couple befriends one another and fall in love in 1991 while also witnesses how Annika and Jonathan rekindle their romance and friendship in 2001.

The author moves between the two stories easily without causing any confusion on the part of the reader. I liked Annika right off, maybe because of her quirkiness, but the reader is not sure why she is the way she is until much later in the book. Jonathan is not as well developed. He was a good guy who comes across as likeable and I understand why he falls in love with Annika, but at the same time I had hoped for him to have more layers.

Though this novel is written in both Annika’s and Jonathan’s point of views, this is more Annika’s story and the reader cannot help but cheer along side her as she struggles and grows as a person in the book.
Whether you have read all of Tracey Garvis-Graves books or are new to her writing, you will enjoy the satisfying ending to this story. I highly recommend this book. I'd like to thank NetGalley for providing me an advanced copy.

Annika and Jonathan were college sweethearts at the University of Illinois. They competed in the chess club together and he was pretty much her first everything. A little off on social situations with quite a few challenges that are never named, Annika is beautiful, smart and painfully shy. Jonathan gently brings her out of her shell one step at a time. When their after college plans don’t turn out as they hoped it is not until ten years that they are reunited. Getting to know each other once again, their romance still runs deep as they navigate this relationship from different places in their lives. I really enjoyed this heartfelt tender novel from fabulous author Tracey Garvis-Graves. She captured the essence of a very different type of character than in her previous books. Thank you NetGalley for the early read. Pub date April 2019!

This book has huge depth, and shifts its focus several times throughout, keeping me engaged beyond what appears to be a straight forward coming of age romance novel from the first pages. Insightful and beautifully written

What a nice story! Dealing with the past, with Autism Spectrum Disorder like issues and the awkwardness of reconnecting made for a story that made me want to keep reading. You know, the type that makes you sad when it is over?
That is what Annika and Jonathan have here. Told in chapters alternating between then and now and also done in his and her chapters, we get the whole story in a way that helps to understand where they are coming from and where the relationship might go. It will help you to understand ASD and how even the beautiful folk have demons to deal with.
I really enjoyed reading this book and will seek out more books by this author who had been an unknown to me until now. Thank you NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

This was such a heartwarming story. It was full of hope and love. This story wasn't quite what I was expecting when I started reading but it was so much more.

Annika has a beautiful soul.. She cares for people and animals in her own unique way. I enjoyed reading the story from her point of view and seeing how she interpreted the world around her. It is clear that she struggles with reading emotions and expressions but she is working so hard to learn. She has a strength and determination that many people may not see or appreciate.

Jonathan is just such a wonderful man. It is clear that he is hurt by his past with Annika. However, you can see that he still has very strong feelings for her. I loved that he was able to love her for who she is.

I loved the way the story was told from the past and present. It added so much to Annika and Jonathan's relationship.

Everyone deserves a friend like Janice. She was such a comfort to Annika and helped guide her to become who she is as an adult. Reading this book had me in tears at some points just knowing how good these characters were. Annika's mom is amazing. She is the advocate every mother wants to be for her child.

I highly recommend this book to everyone. It is such a well told story.

I received an ARC from NetGally and St. Martin's Press.

Jonathan and Annika meet while attending the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana . Annika had been home-schooled since 7th grade and depends a lot on her roommate, Janice. She is quite an animal lover and volunteers at the school's Wildlife Clinic.
Annika and Jonathan first meet at the University's Chess Club. Both are aces at chess, and it doesn't take too long for a romance to bloom.

The reader finds out that 10 years later, Jonathan and Annika connect, again. Of course, we all want to know what pulled them apart in the first place.

Janice helps Annika with everything form advice to fashion. Even with dates/boyfriends. This is particularly due to a very bad situation Annika got into with a guy - Jake. (Before Jonathan) Eventually, Jonathan & Annika have sex - and quite frequently. Annika does not move to New York to be with Jonathan because she still needs to complete college. She then decides to stay at school to obtain her Masters Degree in Library Science. While in New York, Jonathan marries someone else.

After a very rough start, the two, having reconnected, become lovers once again.

There are surprises in store for the reader! Some may be expected, but in no way did I foresee the conclusion!

This is a book in which I did not skip a single page! A brilliant, suspenseful read! I Highly recommend!!!

Many thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for a superb read!

Suspend belief just a touch, buy a box of Kleenex and lay out on the beach with this book and you'll have a lovely afternoon. If you enjoyed The Rosie Project you'll enjoy this book as well. I enjoyed it from the first page on. And yes, this is yet another book that bounces between time periods.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for my review. I have to say up front that the title and the cover of this story really don't do it justice! This story is really outstanding, but if you judge a book by the cover (and let's be honest, most of us do) I would overlook this story and that would be a shame. That said, this story is really amazing!

Annika is on the Autism spectrum, but she doesn't know it. All she knows is that social situations are mystifying to her, she cherishes her time alone and she is resigned to the fact that she most likely will never even have a close friend. That all changes when she gets to college and has an understanding roommate that signs her up for the chess club where she meets Jonathan Hoffman. Jonathan doesn't mind that Annika is different. He can see through her awkwardness to her beautiful heart, and they become more than chess partners. But it doesn't last.

Flash forward 10 years, and Annika, who is now a librarian, runs into Jonathan, who is making a name for himself on Wall Street. Have they grown enough to try it again?

This story really demonstrates just how hard daily interactions and loneliness can be for someone with Autism. I was so impressed by how the author was able to show how much Annika wanted to be loved and accepted, but just how exhausting it was for her to try. This is a beautiful story with many plot twists that I didn't see coming. Don't overlook this one!

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC! I loved this book so much. Annika charmed me and I fell in love with her early on. Seeing the world through her eyes was just an incredible experience. I am not sure how the author did this so well. Annika's story and her relationship with Jonathan felt so real as well. I adored Annika's best friend, and even her flawed family. I highly recommend this book. I just finished it and definitely have a "book hangover".

I loved that this one was from Annika's POV. She's thoughtful, super empathetic, honest, anxious, and struggles with social interaction/ over stimulation (she's on the Autistic Spectrum). This is awesome for the fact that I haven't read something quite like this, and I don't think something like this exists (to my knowledge), in the realm of realistic fiction & romance-is novels. That being said, the ending didn't work for me and there were parts that felt really slow. (also the back and forth between time periods, sometimes it worked well, but sometimes the flashbacks messed with the pace for me). The main male lead was also relatively uninteresting for me. I'm curious to see how this one does out there in the realistic fiction market, and am cheering on publishers who are continuing to find ways to put more socially & neurologically diverse literature out there.


*I received this as an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I really liked this book The Girl he used to know by author Tracey Garvis Graves. I loved how it was a love story with a happy ending. When I saw where the author was going with towards the end I didn't think it would end well but the author surprised me and took a tragic think and made you think love is strong. The only thing I didn't like about the book is what they really played out until the end what kind of condition Annika has I felt it was a little distracting to to the story. But I think the reason the author did this was because it was a major thing for Annika not so much for Jonathan.

This one started a little slow for me, but I kept reading and am SO glad I did. It is completely worth it to take the time to get to know Annika and Jonathan. Annika is different, but Jonathan gets her. They dated in college, but broke up for reasons revealed later in the book. This story alternates between Annika and Jonathan's POV's as well as in between the past when they dated in college and the present where they have reconnected. Near the end I was extremely anxious to find out what happened because I had not been prepared for what was coming and I had to choose between going to pick up my kids from school and finishing the book and I almost chose the latter. Great love story featuring a "different" kind of heroine.

It is unique and refreshing to read about two people who don't have a conventional love story. Ms. Graves has a way of doing that. She take two very different people and shows the reader how they are perfect for each other. Despite their history. Despite their differences, Despite prejudice of others. In this story it is Annika and Jonathan that we are lucky enough to get to know. Annika, a shy socially awkward young woman who is quietly finding her way in the world, and Jonathan, the charismatic handsome man who finds her intriguing. Their story is one of patience, heartbreak, and second chances and you'll find yourself rooting for them the whole way.

The literary world is filled with" boy meets girl, boy and girl break up only to realize they're miserable apart, find their way back to each other, and ride off into the sunset together" romance novels. There's probably several at your local library right now. The plots are predictable and reliable because they are relatable-almost everybody has a "one that got away." Knowing when to walk away, or fight for the person you believe is your true love is a tightrope most people have walked at least once. Learning to read the romantic "tea leaves" accurately is a necessary skill- even if it means falling off the tightrope a few times. But what if your brain doesn't process information the same as everyone else-you can't interpret what another person is trying to convey through facial expressions or tone of voice? Even worse-what if you don't know your brain doesn't know how to read the tea leaves? Life can become pretty difficult-as it is for Annika in The Girl He Used To Know. To most people Annika is the "weird girl." Quiet, (unless she is interrupting a conversation), asks awkward questions people would rather not answer, and unable to tell the difference between a "come on" and a "come hither" look. Annika relies on her college roommate Janice for advice on what to wear, how to approach their landlord about a leaking toilet, and not to cut ahead of people in line at the bank. Although it is not addressed directly until late in the story, it is assumed (read the tea leaves!) that Annika is on the autism spectrum. But there's one area where Annika doesn't need help-she's a first class chess player. Annika meets Jonathan at their college chess club, and their friendship develops into a tender romance. Jonathan loves Annika's spontaneity and unfiltered enthusiasm. Seeing the world through Annika's eyes is a revelation-she embraces life without the cynicism most people cling to like Saran wrap. With Jonathan, Annika goes from not being able to look people in the eye, to facing the world and all its challenges with eyes wide open. But Annika wants to be independent and not use Jonathan as a crutch, so she lets him go. The Girl He Used to Know is a such a sweet story-it's humbling and gratifying to believe people like Jonathan, Annika, and Janice exist. The timing of the story seems strange at first-Jonathan and Annika meet in college in 1991 and reconnect 10 years later. You think there's going to be an epilogue of a middle aged Annika and Jonathan with a mortgage, two kids in college, and barely speaking (talk about cynicism!). But then the reason for the timing becomes clear-in August, 2001 Jonathan is working as a financial analyst in Chicago, preparing for an important meeting in New York City the next month that will hopefully lead to a big promotion. The sense of impending doom, even as Jonathan and Annika rekindle their relationship, increases with every page. Jonathan on a plane, landing in New York City, heading to the financial district, not knowing what that fateful day will bring. But it's the events of 9/11 that prove Annika truly is not The Girl He Used to Know. She rises to the occasion with determination and grace, and none of the fear that has blinded her for decades. The Girl He Used To Know is a spirited story about not letting labels define us, and learning to fly when people say you should stick to the ground. Only a special few can relate to Annika and her approach to love and life, but everyone should be lucky enough to know her.

Annika Rose is an awkward English major at the University of Illinois. She has anxiety in every social situation--she doesn't know how to respond or how to act. She over analyzes every interaction with others. Her over analysis comes in handy every Sunday night when she casually plays chess with the members of the chess club. This is the only time she enjoys the company of others--she prefers her solitary life.



Jonathan Hoffman is trying to finish out his last year of college at U of I since he had to transfer there from Northwestern. Jonathan has always enjoys a good game of chess. The first time he ever loses is the same day he loses his heart to the quiet awkward girl. He slowly uncovers what makes Annika tick one piece at a time. She is brutally honest --almost to a fault. But he loves that she doesn't play games and tells it like it is. She pushes and challenges him like no one has before.



Jonathan was offered a job in New York and Annika remains in Chicago to finish her degree and recovery. Though the two made plans to be together after her graduation...they grew apart by tragedy. Annika realized that she needed to learn to take care of herself without her best friend and roommate or without Jonathan. But that didn't stop the anxiety or her "weird quirks" as her co-workers call it. Later, Annika finds out exactly why she is the way she is. Her therapist helps her cope and deal with her inner turmoils and encourages her to step outside of her comfort zone. That's what lead Annika to give Jonathan her phone number when she ran into him at the grocery store ten years later.



What started out as a "let's catch up" lead to a new relationship. But Jonathan is fresh off of a divorce and is attempting to re-establish himself at the Chicago office of the financial brokerage company he works for. How can he have a relationship with Annika and have a flourishing career where his is required to take a plus one to assist him with networking? Annika can barely talk to him let alone socialize with strangers! But after a new diagnosis from a neuropsychologist and her therapist--Annika has new skills that she didn't have before.

Annika is further pushed beyond anyone's comfort with a new tragedy that changed not only her life but the lives of an entire nation on September 11th. Her boyfriend, brother, and best friend's husband were all at work in the financial district in New York. One of them were in the South Tower of the World Trade Center when a commercial flight hit the building. Annika is determined to get to her loved one--no matter her own personal fears including her fear of driving.

This book is all about 2nd chances.

I was hooked from the get go. I really liked how the chapters were from alternating perspectives.

Definitely a must read, a few tears were shed as well.