I think that the students in our school library need to hear lots of diverse voices and read stories and lives of many different kinds of people and experiences. When I inherited the library it was an incredibly sanitised space with only 'school readers' and project books on 'the railways' etc. Buying in books that will appeal to the whole range of our readers with diverse voices, eclectic and fascinating subject matter, and topics that will intrigue and fascinate them was incredibly important to me.
This is a book that I think our senior readers will enjoy very much indeed - not just because it's well written with an arresting voice that will really keep them reading and about a fascinating topic - but it's also a book that doesn't feel worthy or improving, it doesn't scream 'school library and treats them like young reading adults who have the right to explore a range of modern diverse reads that will grip and intrigue them and ensure that reading isn't something that they are just forced to do for their English project - this was a solid ten out of ten for me and I'm hoping that our students are as gripped and caught up in it as I was. It was one that I stayed up far too late reading and one that I'll be recommending to the staff as well as our senior students - thank you so much for the chance to read and review; I really loved it and can't wait to discuss it wth some of our seniors once they've read it too!

Really nice read. Sometimes it’s difficult to identify oneself with these type of books but I think the author created a piece of work that has huge value to its readers.

Eh. What a shame. I looked forward to reading this book. It ended up being a memoir of white privilege. No thanks.

It’s well written as a whole. But nothing outstanding. I like some chapters better than others mostly because her use of punctuation helps you get the pace of the emotions either slow or chaotic. Which is always nice to find.
In the other hand I didn’t feel engaged in her story. She’s so self absorbed, self centred. I couldn’t relate to her or feel sorry or anything which is pretty terrible for a memoir of this sort.
As the beginning of the story starts with her walking Allison’s dog I though she would adopted the her, Instead the dog banished from the book and I kept wondering what happen to Sadie? That’s how much of a good person this author is.

Nothing brings out the important things in life than an illness. In her memoir, Fisher goes through multiple health scares and problems. Through struggling with her health, she realizes how much she had suppressed her need for friendship and love for most of her life. Through her illnesses, she realizes who her "people" are and how even in your darkest hour, friends will show up.
At first, I really wasn't sure the story that I was reading. I thought it would be a story about the friendship between the author and Allison, her friend that she meets through AA. But it ended up being more about Eva's own journey of discovering her vulnerable side that had not been cultivated during her formative year, but rather formed during her adulthood at a difficult time.
I had a hard time connecting to Eva as the narrator of her own story. I actually wanted to learn more about Allison. She seemed like a really interesting person. I wanted to keep reading to find out what was actually wrong with Eva, but overall the book wasn't as compelling as I wanted it to be.

I received a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

How to be Loved is a personal memoir written by Eva Hagberg. Eva tells the story of her youth and the struggles and addictions she faced. Like many, instead of facing her issues head-on, she substituted her pain with alcohol, drugs, and bisexual relationships. She was in a downward spiral trying to figure out where and how she fits in. In comes Allison who is older and wiser. Allison becomes a mentor and a stable presence that Eva needed in order to get her life together. Allison becomes ill and eventually succumbs to her illness. This time around Eva was able to handle her tribulations better than she had in the past.

The story was a much slower pace than I am used to It solidified the fact that we can't go thru issues alone and it ok to open up to others to help you through your trials.

I appreciated much about this memoir--the isolation felt by the narrator throughout her life, both before and during major health crises was palpable and heartbreaking; the medical odyssey she faced became a propulsion of the story, keeping the pages turning; the friendships, both the main one referred to in the title and another with a friend who accompanies her down the medical rabbit hole and the journey it takes to New Mexico and Arizona, are loving and beautiful to experience as a reader.

I did have the feeling that the premise of the book, of a central friendship with Allison as savior, was constructed after the book was written as something that could tie it together (or possibly sell the book), but it didn't completely connect everything for me, and sometimes felt forced as the author reached backward to make that connection. Allison is a fantastic character and the friendship was essential to the story, but it didn't read to me as what the book was truly about, and so the narrator returning in her narration to the transformation of it so frequently was overdone for me and could have stood on its own without it.

I just could not get into this book. How to Be Loved is a memoir by Eva, a woman who was not given much, if any, love as a child. Her upbringing by professors was not only loveless, but didn't include any instruction in how to be a friend, have a friend or even like and accept herself for who she was. Instead, she was groomed to be an academic and spent her entire youth in training for that and not for anything else.

The story was hard to relate to, having nothing to do with the way I was raised, though I was always meant for college and professional work, though mine was filled with love. Maybe it was due to our being raised so differently that I could not relate enough to finish the book. It is tough to read about how that lack of love can and does influence the rest of your life.

I found it sad, am glad she found a friend who could help her find her way through all that and serious illness, but I just couldn't read it all the way through. I hope her life is happier now and illness free.

Thank you NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

On the Episode 195 of All the Books, Rebecca Joines Schinsky talked about How to Be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship, and like serendipity, my approval from NetGalley came through!

While I think some people will find this book a little dry and slow-moving, I loved every page of it. Having similar feelings about friendships and connection, I related to that portion of her story very much. But my real love for this book came when she wrote about her personal experience with being sick. As many of you know, I lost my mama to cancer so it was so valuable for me to read about someone's personal experience dealing with illness, pain, and their thoughts and feelings while enduring their suffering.

There were so many takeaways from this book for me: what it means to be a friend, how to accept (and sometimes ask for) help, surrendering to your life looks and how that may look differently to others, and endurance. It was beautifully written with metaphors that captured my mind and emotions; it won't be a book that I soon forget.

The author wrote a memoir that perfectly captured the triumphs and setbacks of her life. It was easy to empathize with the author due to the raw writing.

How to be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship

A rather uniquely written memoir about a woman who has a difficult time letting people get close. She finds herself an addicted alcoholic from trying to chill out and fit in, then later has to go to groups to get free of it. But it’s at the groups that she makes her first real friends of her life, Allison is the main one, and she’s much older. As time goes by, and they talk a bit and she gets to know Allison, she feels herself opening just a bit to the idea of letting her in. They get along so well, and they are so good for each other, it’s not long before she feels herself opening more.

Then Allison shares with Eva that she’s ill with cancer, that it’s come back again and it’s likely terminal this time; she just wanted her to know since they have become close. They rely on each other. Eva for Allison’s mature advice, helping her stay sober and teaching her about friendship. Allison for Eva’s help when she was having bad days from chemo or radiation treatments and needed Eva’s assistance. This is a good book about friendship and learning how to ask for help and accept it. Sometimes that’s the hardest part of all, just admitting you need someone’s help. I was glad I read it. My thanks for the advance electronic copy that was provided by NetGalley, author Eva Hagberg Fisher, and the publisher for my fair review.

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 240 pages
Publication: Feb 5th, 2019

Someone walked into my heart and wrote my story for me to read! All the words that have been floating around in my subconscious found their existence in this book. I have hardly ever been so overwhelmed by a book, maybe because it held up a mirror to my life. Beautifully written and with such simplicity and honesty, it moved me to tears at points. Kudos to the author! Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for this wonderful book.

Thank you to netgalley for this arc.
This is a beautiful story of friendship and how it can shape your life. Eva & her friend Allison are very close & always there for each other. As Eva goes through life changes she has her there until she is gone.
I liked seeing Eva's changes throughout & how she moved on & worked through her owb illness after Allison was gone.

I was hoping for a lot more from this one! I love reading memoirs but this one just wasn't holding my interest as much as I would have liked. Some parts seemed very drawn out and even could have been edited differently. The story was interesting but I think the writing style was not for me. Thank you for the opportunity to read this one!

How To Be Loved pulled me in from the very first page. This was a very moving read and I felt many passages resonate with my own experiences and longings... I think every person needs true human connection and unconditional love, and every person suffers in their own time. This was a story that made me believe in the power of human kindness and in the wisdom of being grateful for the beauty of life and the people who love us.

This book follows Eva, the author, through multiple changes in her life. Whether it be through medical, sexual orientation, relationships, friendships, sobriety, etc, we all face them throughout our lives and Eva was no different. The thing that she had that some of us may never find was a true friend who was like her other half, Allison.
It's so hard in life to find even one true friend that you know is your kindred spirit. Eva and Allison were that way, and Allison in many ways, saved Eva. Allison's passing was something that they all knew was inevitable due to the severity of her illness, but that didn't make it any easier when it happened. Eva had to learn how to go on in her life, and she also became ill herself. This book follows her throughout her life including all of this time period, as well as many years following Allison's death while she is faced with overcoming her own illness.
I feel like at points the book dragged on for me, although I think the story of her life is interesting and a great story to tell. I guess I just thought it would be different based on the way I interpreted the description. The book was by no means terrible, it just didn't always keep me wanting more.

Thank you to the author and to Netgalley for an advance copy of this book. I looked forward to reading it, as I am fond of friendship and memoirs and memoirs about friendship. This book chronicles several challenging years in the life of the author. The aftermath of an intense childhood where high expectations ultimately led to some personal addictions, resulted in the journey to be sober and the pivotal moment where she met Allison, her guide and mentor. Once sober she started noticing significant health issues and that's where the reader gets to see the power of friendships. Her friends support her through many years of treatments, recovery, new flare ups and eventually, after a harrowing desert journey seeped in despair, some concrete medical answers.
I was interested in the journey for answers and I hope the author remains healthy. At times I skimmed past the darkness. I felt like there was no hope. In fact, after finishing the book I felt quite drained. The friends who brought light and humor to the story were appreciated.

Incredibly moving and captivating memoir of chronic illness. The author begins the first part of the book documenting her relationship with an older woman who mentors her, all the while dying from cancer, and her caretaking of her mentor. The author becomes very ill herself, with several frightening diagnoses, sending her on a quest around the USA to alleviate symptoms, find cures, and become healthy. Not told in a linear fashion, yet involving the reader in all aspects of her journey- the illness and subsequent death of her friend, her own diagnoses, her trials in procuring treatment in the medical community. This is ultimately a story of friendship and how the events of this woman's life led her to discover love and trust for herself and the people in her life.

Eva Hagberg-Fisher has written a phenomenal book about illness, how sick woman are handled, and how the people around us are so important to the recovery process. Her paranoia as her sickness grows is palpable and leaves the reader breathless. I can't wait to put this book in the hands of readers.

Poor little rich girl Eva—from European boarding school to Princeton to grad school at Berkeley, with plenty of sex, drugs, and alcohol along the way. Then she gets sick—really sick. Several surgeries, and there is still something wrong; could mold allergies be the cause? Doctors offer a variety of diagnoses— yes, women who are ill are often marginalized and their symptoms dismissed. She heads for Sedona to escape molds with Lauren who, after staying for 3 weeks, finally telling Eva she has to get back to her life in Seattle. Eva marries someone who seems like a saint when she’s desperately ill. His parents offer their home, but the guest room in the basement is too moldy, so she takes over their bedroom for a month until they gently mention that they’d like it back. The friend she met at an AA meeting, Allison, mentions that Eva is “nothing if not self- centered,” which summarizes my impression of this author and her memoir.