This book brought me a few tears . Not many books have been able to do that . Daughter , Undefined by Jackie Ruchti was a quick read that some may be able to relate to . This book had both happy and sad moments . I don’t have any personal experiences but I know of others that have a date going through similar. This made me be drawn to the book and curious how the outcome turned out .
I would recommend this book.

Though this was a short book, it dragged on. I didn't find this one interesting or enjoyable. There were sad parts but from the description, I expected much worse. The characters are easily confused and the overall book just felt disorganized to me.

Jackie and her twin brother Jack were given up for adoption shorty after they were born. Her mother told her about the adoption when Jackie was twenty-five. This began a journey or untangling her family's complicated past.
This is a very rough story. Jackie's parents were abused and they in turn were awful people and parents. It is brave for Jackie to tell her about her journey, but its hard for me to understand how she stayed in touch with her family after all they did to her. Of course I have never experienced anything like she did.

I didn’t find this book as interesting as some others did. Yes, there were definitely some sad parts, but it wasn’t as horrific as I expected by the description. Anyone who grew up in a “normal and happy” family will probably find the book much more horrific. I might have enjoyed it more if the writing was better, but I had a hard time with that, as well.

Although it was a short book, the author repeated herself quite a bit. It was hard to keep some of the characters straight because she changed the way she referenced them. She also bounced around a lot, so the book had a very disorganized feeling. In my opinion, the book could use some editing...although maybe that was supposed to be some of the appeal.

Thank you to NetGalley and Wisdom House Books for this ARC, in exchange for my honest review!
#Daughter,Undefined #NetGalley

In this candid engaging debut memoir, "Daughter Undefined" Jackie Ruchti shared the true story of her adoption with her twin brother, which was overshadowed by family betrayal and dysfunction so severe it lead to a history of neglect, abuse and violence. The distinctive family patterns that began in one generation continued in the next, when Jackie’s first born son was taken from her and adopted by another family member.

Originally from Evansville, Indiana Jackie’s family, with three sets of twins was contacted regarding a segment featuring twins on the Oprah Winfrey show. Still, Jackie had experienced the sorrow of being unloved and unwanted within her own family. As a very young child, her mother would drug her to sleep longer, and began beating her when she was only seven years old. Not all of her childhood experiences were unhappy. Her parents would load up the family station wagon and go for family vacations to Mount Rushmore, The Grand Canyon, Disneyland and/or Niagra Falls.
Eventually her family relocated to Hayden Lake, Idaho. The trailer house they lived in was very small without running water, she and her twin brother slept in a bunk bed. Jackie was friendly, a good student and enjoyed her studies. Strongly encouraged by her parents, she married at sixteen (1975), and would mourn the loss of being unable to attend her prom and graduate from high school. Her young immature husband Vince was a serial philander, unable to keep a job or support Jackie and their newborn son. He became a violent drunk, and beat Jackie-- his criminal activity would eventually lead to incarceration. Jackie became homeless with few options. The only “help” from a family member materialized to house her son, and later a hidden agenda was revealed to adopt him.

It wasn’t surprising that Jackie developed some severe problems related to her unhealthy family relationships and background: alcoholism, multiple divorces, her son’s each had different fathers. To her credit, Jackie cultivated a good co-parenting relationship with her former husband Matteo, and visited his family in Italy with their son Nic. Jackie would understand her family history better when she learned of her own secretive adoption, though periods of soul crushing heartbreak and tragic losses would follow.
There are important scientific studies in epigenetic research which indicate that the thought process or emotions, traits, characteristics can be passed through hereditary DNA from one generation to the next. This is particularly noticeable in families traumatized by war or genocide. Jackie’s people were not nice or supportive in any way. The (non-related) patriarch's seemed mean and controlling, and clearly influenced the overall family dynamic. One married a series of unsuspecting mail-order brides. The other, likely the town thug, beat a man with brass knuckles-- he was “creepy” to Jackie in childhood; feared by many, and may have been an undetected pedophile. Jackie was forced to deal with extreme betrayal, unfairness, pettiness and backstabbing--and appeared to be the family scapegoat.

Many would have abandoned such a family without ever looking back. Instead, with encouragement from her husband Jakob, Jackie, sober for decades, fully explored her family background with genetic testing and open mind without judgment. This wasn’t easy. Jackie put her pain and grief in the past, and would move forward in acceptance, faith and love. Jackie is an author of two children’s books: Jack and Almost Jill: A True Story of Twin Adoption (2017) and Freckles are Fabulous (2017) she lives in the Northwest, with her husband Jakob and adopted schnauzer-mix Frankie.** With special thanks and appreciation for the DDC for the purpose of review.

The author's raw and honest writing about her adoption with her twin brother and the impact it had on her life captivated me from the beginning. It was heartbreaking to read about the abuse and neglect that the author endured. What was more heartbreaking was reading about her having to give her own son up for adoption to a family member due to the same issues. I loved reading about how the author, with the support of her husband and genetic testing, was able to track down her family and reconnect after finding sobriety. Have tissues handy when you read this, as you will need them.