3.5 stars
Thank you to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for this reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.

"What is missing in our conversations with each other, particularly with those who hold beliefs different than our own? How do we stand before one another and relearn the art of conversation through empathy? How do we tell our own truth, while not denying the truth of another?"

And still more questions.

"How can I maintain relationships with those who disagree with me, not only with what I believe but with who I am? What does unity look like in the face of disagreement? Can we speak not at each other, but with each other? Can I dare to be vulnerable in the face of anger and distrust? What can lead us all to a different place?"

Bishop Karen Oliveto attempts to answer these questions in her memoir, of sorts, about her faith journey and how it has led her to be the first openly LGBTQ person to serve as a bishop in the global denomination of The United Methodist Church. And she leans on the family dinner table to serve as her example of answering these questions while building community and unity. Growing up, the dinner table was where life's questions and answers happened, where conflict arose and was resolved, where bonds were formed and strengthened. The communion table of Christ serves the same purpose for us in the Church that has the questions above. Breaking bread together breaks down walls to build bridges.

Oliveto serves up dish after dish of grace, empathy, and love in her stories of ministry through the years, what she personally learned from situations, and what she believes we all could do better at. She shares the efforts she and others, specifically within the United Methodist denomination, are engaged in to ensure LGBTQ are seen and treated as equals. Full stop.

Does Karen answer the questions? Yes, in the theoretical. What will take the answers from theory to reality is dependant on each person. We each must be willing to be humble and remember the humanity of others.

Great book that I highly recommend you can find my review here https://www.krlnews.com/2018/11/together-at-table-by-karen-p-oliveto.html

This was an interesting read from the autors perspective. As a United Methodist myself I really enjoyed getting to know how this Pastor got to where she is. This opened my eyes to somethings about the LGBTQIA+ community and the church together that I had never really thought about before.

Bishop Karen Olivet has been part of The United Methodist Church all of her life. She has struggled with the church’s policies regarding the LGBTQ community. She feels that excluding groups of people does not model God’s love for all people. She shares her experiences of being in community with diverse people and the blessings that have come from it.

I appreciated her thoughts and points of view. It has pushed on the boundaries of my own faith viewpoints in a good way. I would recommend this book.

I read this book not knowing what exactly I was getting into. I knew that it was based on a non-denominational church and a Bishop who is fighting for the inclusion for all persons. Being a member of the LGBTQ community doesn't mean less or more. It means wanting to have the ability to fit in.

For some, they define normal. Normal to me is nothing. Nothing is normal. We all have our quirks. For Bishop Oliveto standing up for the people, standing up for herself, dealing with threats of violence, bigotry, wondering what is going to happen from moment to moment. Her courage is a wonderment and deserves accolades.

I'm going to wait until February. I have friends who are Methodist, have been members their whole lives. They are rooting for the continuing education into the lives of the members. That they will learn. That they will continue to be educated in LGBTQ learnings. To know there is no difference. We are all one and the same. Love truly is love.

I've always been fascinated by clergy because even though I've long served in ministry at my church, I've never felt that deep calling that those in the clergy have felt.

Reading about an openly gay bishop was enlightening and I appreciated Karen's candor in describing the prejudices she has experienced within her own faith community. Indeed, the United Methodist Church is much more progressive in addressing LGBTQ issues than my own Catholic faith does even though I once attended a Catholic parish that was unofficially referred to as "the gay Catholic church". I wish I had taken the time when I was at that parish to discuss with my friends what it was like to be a gay Catholic.

Speaking of being Catholic, I have to admit to being a little annoyed that when Karen wrote that her congregation was made up of people of all faiths, she included "recovering" Catholics...she didn't include adjectives for any of the other faiths she mentioned, and in the spirit of her wanting us to think of people as not "other", I thought this was unnecessary.

All in all, Karen's message is that we are all children of God who deserve to be loved and we must welcome everyone to God's table to realize we are all more alike than we are different.

Together at the Table is one of those books that speaks to you in unexpected ways. There are so many themes within this book that speak to changes that must be made within our society. The book is about the tension within the United Methodist Church over homosexuality but it encompasses so much more. I had several favorite quotes but specifically regarding the importance of diversity in groups this was a great quote, “Nobody knows everything, and no group of people knows everything. But a peculiar attribute of homogeneous groups is that they can be unusually blind to what they don’t know. “ (Matthew Yglesias) #togetheratthetable #netgalley

Together at the Table is both a memoir and a theory for the future of the church.
Karen Oliveto is the first openly gay Bishop in The United Methodist Church. The book tells her story of finding Christ and finding herself in Christ. We get an intimate look into her life, faith, and her struggle. She shows us churches that serve the least of these and she encourages the inclusion of everyone. She does not turn away from the doubters and welcomes them to her open and diverse table.
Oliveto speaks to me through her novel because what she describes is a church I want to attend. I am not part of the LGBT community but I want to welcome them with open arms. I want to sit at the table with them. Oliveto points out a way this can happen and gives me hope for a true love they neighbor to church.
I encourage anyone who has any doubt that the LGBT population isn't Christian and don't hold a strong Faith with the Lord. Open your heart and come to the table.

Thought provoking and humbling. Made me see, without artifice, without media, without anything...

... but sincerity and heart, what it feels like to be LGBT and having to question yourself and learn to reconcile with teachings, with faith, learning to live with other's opinions and beliefs, and staying true to oneself and one's beliefs.

A humbling read, and someone I'd like to meet in person, or at least to hear in person.

I cannot open the file so I was not able to read the book and therefore cannot leave an honest review. I have a Kindle and/or an android phone. I do not have any apple devices and from what I can find this is a file only iOS can open. :(

Karen Oliveto was spot on about treatment that gays and lesbians get from the UMC. the church needs to pick a side. Oliveto will be a big help in the coming years.

When I saw this book listed on NetGalley, I jumped at the chance to read and review it. I have been a United Methodist my entire life, and have been following the news about Bishop Oliveto very closely. It was wonderful to read her story in her own words.

She reveals her struggles to reconcile her faith and her denomination with her sexual orientation, to be inclusive and open to diversity as the senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, and to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights in our denomination.

I was shocked and saddened by some of the statistics provided in the first chapter about how important family dinner time can be to teens, and how they are negatively impacted by the lack of it (as part of her analogy of the church as a place where we all meet at the table, as in taking Communion).

That analogy continues throughout the book, and Bishop Oliveto shares several times when literal meetings at a table, with everyone willing to talk, listen and attempt to understand everyone else, brought about awesome results.

One of my favorite quotes from this book is "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I see it in so many places--race, gender, economic class, religious beliefs and other things are used to divide into "us" and "them." And unfortunately, it is encouraged and enabled by many in authority.

Bishop Oliveto makes it clear that she loves her church and her denomination, and that the infighting over whether to include or exclude non-heterosexuals hurts her heart not only for herself but for all of us. Inclusion and learning about those who are different from us are vital to protecting the denomination and not seeing it splinter.

Highly recommend this book to everyone!!

My husband is a retired United Methodist (UM) pastor. He started seminary in 1972, the year the UM General Conference first created the statements to guide the church in social piety called The Social Principles.

The Principles assert that all persons are 'of sacred worth'. It "affirms that sexuality is God's good gift to all persons." They also state that homosexuality is incompatible with Biblical teaching and they support civil laws defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman. "Self-avowed practicing homosexuals" are barred from ordination by the church rules in its Discipline.

How does one put aside one's sexual identity and desire for intimacy and love? asked my husband's fellow seminary student, a self-avowed homosexual.

The UM church is a worldwide organization. Some nations support the current language of the Principles, while conferences or churches support full inclusion of LGBT persons. Expectations of a split within the denomination has increased over the years. The denomination is considering allowing individual churches or conferences to make their own decisions.

In 2016 the Western Jurisdiction of the UM church elected a bishop who is a married lesbian, Rev. Karen Oliveto. The Judicial Council ruled that although she is in violation of the Discipline, she also was legally elected and the Jurisdiction can only act to remove her.

Has the time come for the church to take a stand, once and for all, to embrace and love all persons, or will we untie the "United" in our name?

When I saw Westminster Press had published a book by Bishop Oliveto I had to read it and was pleased to be granted the e-galley through NetGalley.

The book relates Bishop Oliveto's faith journey and pastoral career. She writes in a very accessible and direct way.

She confesses her own challenges as she learned to be inclusive and open to diversity while serving as senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, a predominately Afrocentric church in the Tenderloin district. The community was guided by a saying, "We are all in recovery from something," uniting people in their admission of imperfection and struggle for wholeness.

I appreciate her candor regarding the need for perpetual self-assessment, asking "Is what I am saying, is what I am doing, increasing compassion and connection in the world, or rupturing relationship with others, with the divine, with the earth, with myself?" I know from experience that one must be vigilant for it is easy to fall into stereotyping or group-think.

Bishop Oliveto writes, "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I remember in the 1960s hearing the saying "don't judge a man until you walk in his shoes." Today we don't want to even try to understand each other. Race, economic class, and gender have become reasons to exclude people. Our current government leaders foster this division and labeling of the other.

"We have lost the capacity to listen to one another, to be open to the truth another brings to the conversation. We stand ready to rebut, rebuke, and reject." We see this daily on Facebook, Twitter, in the news. I have seen it in the local church as well, causing schisms and division.

Bishop Oliveto affirms that accepting everyone to the Communion table is messy; allowing everyone a voice is messy. Ambiguity can be frightening. Dispensing with surety and black and white rules requires living on faith.

But isn't that what faith is all about--being willing to step into the unknown, trusting in God?

"We don't really believe in the Trinity, otherwise we wouldn't have such a hard time accepting diversity," Bishop Oliveto quotes Episcopal Bishop C. Andrew Doyle's challenge to the UM Council of Bishops. We love diversity in nature, the flowers and animals. yet we are only comfortable with people 'like us.'

Research has shown that diversity in experience and insights lead to better decisions and creativity in the workplace. If the church puts love at its center, Rev. Oliveto says, we can remain in relationship. Unity does not require uniformity. We can be stronger and better together.

Bishop Oliveto has a vision of people gathering at the table, all kinds of people with conflicting beliefs and backgrounds, breaking bread and listening, learning. A healthy community based on love.

During my husband's career, we saw persons harmed by exclusion, a transgender student pressured to conform, churches schism over the Social Principles, pastors facing charges for being gay. Will the church reflect the intolerance of secular society and continue to divide into "us and them"? Or can we pattern The Beloved Community, as Bishop Oliveto dreams?