Member Reviews
I loved this book! It's well-written, enjoyable, and a great read. The authors did a great job of writing about a difficult topic in a way that captures the readers attention, and makes you not want to put it down until you're finished! I would highly recommend it!
Love the premise of the book, but it was very church-focused. The author didn’t seem kind to his dad, Paula, and that was hard to get through. Liked the alternating perspective.
I found Paul, Now Paula, and her son’s life are dramatically changed by his gender transition into a woman, especially as they both hold prominent places in the church, and it is a raw, painful, heartbreaking and yet intensely beautiful and intelligent account of how a parents identity makes a child, even an adult child, question themself and their own place in the world.. I really hope this helps a great many people who are struggling to reconcile faith in religion with their right to be who they are and love who they love and most importantly, love themselves.
Thank you to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for this reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
Paul Williams was the head of a large denominational church planting ministry, a pastor who spoke all over the country in mega churches and was revered in Evangelical circles. (Sidenote: not all Evangelical circles as I have never heard of him, ever, and I was birthed straight into the church from my Mama's womb.) He had a wife and three children. He also had a secret. He wasn't a man, he was a woman and he needed to live as that woman finally.
Jonathan Williams thought he knew his father. His father, Paul, was his mentor in the faith and in life, he strove to be the kind of man his father was. But when his Dad sat in his living room and said he was actually a she Jonathan felt the world stop. He didn't know what to do with this revelation that his Dad, the man he had looked up to his entire life, hated being a man, never felt like a man, and was going to transition to a woman to live out their truth.
Thus began a journey, personal and familial, for the Williams family. Within a very short amount of time, Paul Williams was let go from all ministry and began to physically transform into who she knew she was. Paula Williams was born. And while Paula was being reborn, her family was going through a rebirth themselves - trying to figure out if they had ever known their husband and father and what did Paula living as Paul all those years mean for all of their memories and examples in faith, life, etc?
This is the story of Jonathan and Paula. The end of their Paul and Jonathan relationship and the beginning of their Paula and Jonathan relationship. It was raw, it was painful, it was hard, but Jonathan looks at his Dad and sees how free and beautiful she is living as she always felt she was on the inside.
Not only does Jonathan share his personal journey of accepting, embracing, and affirming his Dad's transition but he also shares the journey of the church he was pastoring and their decision to become fully inclusive and affirming. Both were painful processes. Chiming in on some of the chapters is Paula, sharing with the reader her perspective of the time Jonathan happens to be writing about in the chapter.
Here's what I appreciated about this book, the permission Jonathan and his family had to grieve the loss of someone they loved and the space they were given to celebrate the authenticity of someone they loved. I know, or at least I can imagine, how hard it is for the person transitioning to go through all the changes and beginnings and ends of things but there has to be space for that person's loved ones to grieve the loss of one person and the rebirth of another. There has to be space for both and Jonathan and Paula Williams share their story of how that happened.
Jonathan had just started a new church when his father came out as transgender where he identified as a woman. His father, Paul had been the head of an evangelical Christian church planting organization before he had come out as transgender. Paul (Paula) was asked to leave that organization and couldn't find another job as a preacher for a period of time. At the time of his coming out, Jonathan had wanted to be an inclusive church but he was restrained by the constraints of the evangelical Christian world. This book also includes the point of view of Paula (Paul) on his transitioning to becoming a woman about how he was shunned by his so called friends because they felt that being transgender was a sin. This book is a good book for a family member, friend or someone who may want to know about accepting transgender people for who they are and not try to change them like evangelical Christians do. This book does touch on how being transgender may not be a sin like evangelical Christians teach.
A great book for anyone to understand more about the struggles trans people face.
We all need to educate ourselves and allow all people to be their true authentic selves.
Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read this book and to gain new wisdom on the subject matter.
Having read plenty of books about evangelical conservative white men who realized that Jesus really did mean what he said about loving others, it was difficult to read another first hand account of deconstruction. The unique aspect of Williams's tale is the inside look at a celebrity realizing that their own identity was counter to everything that had been preached for a career. I struggled to follow the storyline and did not feel that their ability to accept the changes within the family extended to others.
A book for the straight religious community for understanding trans people. I was hoping for more of Paula’s perspective but instead we follow her son Jonathan as he works towards understanding his dad Paula. The book was ok but I would’ve liked to read more about Paula and her transition.
I guess the title should have raised some red flags for me by saying "SHE is my DAD". I get it it's not easy for kids of trans people to get used to the change and yet looking back, I should have seen it would not be something I'd be very engaging to read. There was too much religion speak/details in it as well so I just did...not enjoy reading the book nor finished reading it.
I ended up DNF'ing this. I just couldn't get into it no matter how hard I tried. It shouldn't be a struggle to read a book. Especially one about a topic that interests me. I have a MtF friend, so you would think that I would be rather intrigued by a book that talks about a MtF person. The story that I was reading had only a few pieces that were remotely related to the actual transgender person.
I read a quarter of the book, and of that quarter, only about 10% even mentioned the transition or the person by their female name. The other 90% was about Jonathan growing up, going to school, getting married. It was more a history of his life rather than of his father's. I didn't particularly care for it.
Maybe I'll have better luck with the other books that I got from NetGalley in the future. I received this book in return for an honest review, and honestly? I didn't like it.
Traditional Churches and the LBGTQ Community
This book was not the memoir that I was expecting. It is a pretty good look at how traditional churches are currently dealing with the 'not-straight' community. It focuses on the author's family. It is as much about the church's struggle as it is about the man and his family's struggle to love their Dad and accept her new self. It is interesting. I greatly appreciated that the author footnoted all of his references and did not make the reader just assume he was correct. I received this ARC book for free from Net Galley and this is my honest review.
Pros: In brutal honesty, both members of the Williams family share what it was like to go through a gender transition. They speak of loss of personal identity and personal faith. While the story is mostly told from Jonathan's view, the moments Paula speaks are filled with deep wisdom. It is affirming for those with a queer identity, with a Christian identity, and those walking through both sides of the gender transition process.
Con: There were points it was unclear who was speaking, in regard to quotes used or personal stories from friends.
I received an ARC of this book through NetGalley in exchange for my unbiased opinion.
Jonathan Williams grew up in a family of evangelical pastors on both sides of the family and followed his father into the family business. When his father came out as transgender, Jonathan sank into a deep depression and starting drinking excessively to cope. Jonathan's life and self-image have always been firmly rooted in his relationship with his father, and he worries how it will change as Paul becomes Paula. In this memoir, Williams describes his journey toward accepting his father on a personal level and how it affected his faith and career, too. At the end of some chapters, Paula responds to the events of the chapter from her point of view.
I really appreciated Williams's honesty with his response to his dad's transition and how his view shifted over time. As an Exvangelical myself, I can empathize with how hard it was for Jonathan and Paula to leave the church family they had worked so closely with for years. The book seemed a bit rambling at times, but it was interesting to read a perspective of an adult child of a transgender parent.
I could not put down this book. It was so interesting and the writing was great. I will definitely be recommending this to customers at my work!
An interesting book from a perspective we don't usually see; that of a family member of a trans person. Trans narratives are always most authentic when told from a trans perspective, but it's enlightening to see the effect of the transition of someone close to you. The book does suffer from the general tendency to misgender the author's father (/ mother, depending on the language that she would prefer to use) and to describe events from a cis viewpoint, but this is because the author is writing his authentic story. I'd probably recommend the book to someone who had a close relative who was transitioning and wanted to find some solace from someone who had been through the same event, but not someone who wanted to actually understand the trans experience, because this is very much not that.
I had great hopes for this book as it’s a subject I don’t know much about. Additionally being brought up catholic I had an interest in the alternative opinions and actions. Sadly I did not finish this book as it was more about the church itself than the gender identity of the main character.
“She’s My Dad” explores what happens to a son, the family and the church when a dad transitions from a man to a woman. It tells the story of how Jonathan Williams responded and adjusted when his father Paul Williams, a prominent evangelical pastor, became Paula Stone Williams.
This book was hard for me to read, but I'm so glad I did! As a born-again Christian raised in a church with strong gender rules and the belief that being gay is a choice, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this story. I would love to say that it shattered my beliefs, but a more accurate description is that it cracked my beliefs. And that’s what loving God can do. Through conversations, prayer, exposure, and relationships, we learn, grow and become mature believers who fall more in love with God and His people every day.
In Jonathan’s case, he had no choice but to accept reality. He’s very real, though, about how his father’s transition affected him personally, of their estrangement and how he used alcohol to cope. He’s also very honest about how the transition affected his church and forced them to address the need in his life. I was encouraged by how he tried to hide for a long time, but when he was finally honest, people could rally around him and offer real life-affirming support.
Jonathan and Paula also explore what happens to a family when a member transitions. Basically, everything changes and the upheaval can strengthen or destroy individual family members and the family as a whole.
Today, Jonathan and Paula have reconciled. And Jonathan’s church has become one of the few fully LGBTQ-inclusive, evangelical churches in America.
I appreciated the message of love. What would happen if we laid aside our beliefs and suppositions about what being a Christian is about and instead choose to love?
I also appreciated how Jonathan and Paula both share insights, including advice for individuals who want to transition and their family members.
The writing style is a bit wonky and jumps around a lot. Jonathan’s sections often move between timelines and retell the same story but from different perspectives. Paula’s sections also sometimes seem to not address what her son shared but travel all over the place. This jumpiness creates confusion and makes the book challenging to read. But the message is important for Christians and others, especially the last few chapters where we see how the situation was resolved.
I highly recommend this book. It’s important for anyone who’s interested in learning more about God’s love and for those who are struggling to love, accept or include someone who’s different.
She's My Dad reads like I expected an evangelistic parent would respond to their trans son. The author chronicles his journey through his father's transition. While it is ok to have your own issues and have grief for the loss of the person you know, the author always made everything about him. he father could never do anything right even before he transitioned. The son blames his problems in life with growing up evangelistic, for his dad having depression and even his transition. The author chooses to separate himself from Paula and blamed Paula's change. By the end, the author finally accepts who Paula is but very little attention is spent on his reworking of fatherly expectations. Instead, chapters are spent on his church and the fights for them to be inclusive all the while holding hypocritical thoughts about the queer population.
The section where Paula responds isn't helpful. This paragrap[hs aren't actual responses t what the author wrote. Paula sounded sad she caused her son great [ain but with no realization that the son had done the same,.
Overall, this book isn't very uplifting and is very self-obsessive. I wished I had read in this work where the author really was loving thy neighbor.
I have to be honest: when the invitation to read this e-galley popped up in my inbox, my very first reaction was that I wasn't interested. Why? For the boring reason that I don't know anyone who has transitioned gender, so I didn't think it was something I needed to read.
My next thoughts countered my initial reaction: I needed to become a more diverse reader. I needed to read more books that were completely outside of my personal experience and outside of my comfort zone. I needed books that challenged my pre-conceived ideas, my natural aversions to certain subjects, my tendency to read about subjects I felt familiar with. So I accepted the invitation to read She's My Dad: A Father's Transition and a Son's Redemption by Jonathan Williams with Paula Stone Williams.
Right away, I realized I did have something in common with the author and his father. They came from an Evangelical, non-denominational church culture that took the Bible as objective truth and considered it the Word of God. This was the culture I was steeped in my whole life until just a few years ago.
This culture said they loved the LGBTQIA community, but because of a handful of Biblical passages, considered the queer lifestyle sinful and wouldn't allow anyone in the LGBTQIA community to join the church, serve in the church, be baptized, etc. Does that sound like love to you? Nope, I didn't think so.
This story is centered around an Evangelical thirty-something pastor, Jonathan, and his dad, Paul (also a pastor). Paul comes out to his family and tells them he's a woman. He changes his name to Paula, begins hormone therapy, and begins to act and dress as a woman: hair, makeup, clothing, etc. He loses his job as a pastor and has to start his life over.
Although the book is interspersed with a few chapters from Paula's perspective, it is mainly about how Jonathan, as a son, deals with his father's gender transition, both internally and externally.
He has to grapple with the grief, anger, denial, and the decision whether or not to accept his father as woman. He has to deal with the effects of the rejection his father experiences once his transition becomes public. He has to decide what to do about the church network he's a part of that does not welcome gay or transgender people. He has to look at the Bible in new ways and think long and hard about theology that he has always believed to be true.
As so often happens when I read or listen to the story of the "other", someone who seems so different from me, I discovered common ground. In addition to growing up in a similar church culture, I also experienced rejection from the church as a result of my decision to divorce. Whether it was letters and "return to God" messages or the “Great Silence” that accompanied disapproval, disappointment, and an ineptitude for dealing with someone who stepped out of the box, I experienced rejection as well, although on a much less dramatic level than Paula and Jonathan.
I am glad my better nature won the day I was deciding whether to read this book. It has been helpful for me to learn about gender transition and to think about how much of the Christian church has failed to show love, humility, and grace to those it doesn't have a doctrinal box for. And how parts of the church are showing up and just loving people no matter what. I'm grateful that Jonathan shared the journey of how he dealt with his dad's transition. If you are interested in transgender issues in the Evangelical church, I recommend She's My Dad by Jonathan Williams.
I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you NetGalley!!
While I wanted to adore this book, I simply co uldn't. There was way too much religious speak, terminiology,e tc. I feel there were some words/titles/etc used that weren't very complimentary for trans/nonbinary people. Some of it seemed truly outdated. I feel the scripture didn't relaly have a place in the book