I was thrilled to death for the opportunity to read an ARC of his new book. I was drawn in from the first chapter and could hardly put it down! Highly recommend!

The author did a great job of conveying the emotions that those close to someone that is transgender experience. Many of us consider ourselves to be open-minded and accepting, but who knows if we will experience a different reaction to someone that is close to us being transgender. The author wrote a raw account of the impact his father had on his life and the emotions that he experienced throughout their relationship.

As a Pastor of a Brooklyn New York Community Church, Jonathan S. Williams didn't see his father Paul transitioning to live as a woman. During the time his father transitioned there wasn't much information available about transgender people, gender identity issues and no Caitlyn Jenner or Orange Is The New Black. "She's My Dad" is William's account not only of his father's truth but his own acceptance of his father as a woman and the change in his family dynamic that would permanently alter the course of his own life.

Was the man who lovingly nurtured him, reading him the Chronicles of Narnia, enjoyed Hockey games, hiking, mountain climbing and went with him regularly to see the Mets an imposter? His father was a pastor of and spoke at Evangelical mega-churches across America. He stood at well over 6 feet, a healthy weight portioned, with dark hair with a respectful commanding stature. William's loved his Dad, and wanted nothing more than to not disappoint him, his Dad was his hero. William's was crushed to get the call that his father needed him to fly to his home in Denver and talk to him personally about the drastic change that his father was determined to make. After his father's announcement, he was discharged from his job immediately.

This is a book about love, acceptance and spirituality. This wasn't easy for Williams, but eventually his ministry was about inclusion and affirmation and the acceptance of LGBTQ people regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation. ** With thanks and appreciation to WJK Press via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an ARC ebook copy to review. As always, an honest review from me.

My rating is actually 3.5/5 stars, but since there aren't half stars I always round up.

She’s My Dad tells the story of Jonathan’s Dad transitioning to her true self, Paula. The book is honest about the challenges, learning process and love that goes into having a family member transition. The process is made even more complex, because Paula is a pastor in the Evangelical church.

I liked that the chapters alternated perspectives between Jonathan and Paula, allowing the reader to better understand the story from all perspectives. I didn’t realize the focus in religion would be so great. I’m not religious, but I learned a lot about churches excluding or choosing to include LGBTQIA+ people. I think the book could be very helpful and validating for people who are religious and identify as LGBTQIA+.

While it was hard to hear Jonathan’s struggles about his dad transitioning, it was honest. For awhile he didn’t seem very kind to Paula, which bothered me. I think a lot of people can relate to the loss and confusion they may also feel. I feel like the book focused on the church a lot, and maybe would have been more well rounded by including a wider variety of experiences.

Overall, an honest, educational and heartfelt book about Jonathan and his dad, Paula’s story.

* In the book, Jonathan refers to Paula as his dad, so to my knowledge I’m not misgendering anyone. But if I’m wrong, please correct me.

This is the true story of the day that changed Jonathan Williams’ life forever. It was the day his beloved father Paul told him he was ‘coming out’ as transgender. Jonathan was stunned beyond words and this story goes through the mourning he went through at losing his own very special Dad. There are also excerpts written by Jonathon’s father who was to become known as Paula Stone Williams. The memoir eventually sees father and son reconciled and tells their story from their different points of view, hence the subtitle of the memoir ‘A father’s transition and a son’s redemption’.
Jonathan had followed in the family tradition in choice of vocation: grandfather, father and then son stepping up to the position of evangelical pastor. The three families suffered greatly over Paula’s announcement. Paula was sacked on the spot for his transgression and became estranged from his wife of 30 years whilst Jonathan was in fear of losing his livelihood as well. He chose to keep the secret of his father’s heartfelt decision that he must be true to his certain knowledge that he should have been born as b girl. He had struggled throughout his life to be a role model as a husband, father of three and also as a leading and highly respected pastor and orator within the church founded by his own father. It’s a sad story in many ways but did lead to Jonathan along the path that saw him setting up a fully inclusive church, welcoming any Christians to worship in their own church. I enjoyed these parts of the memoir but found myself often steeped in church matters, dogma and religious questions that I had to wade through. These are the parts of the story that bogged me down and that I didn’t like very much. I had not expected such religious examinations to be the main focus within the genre of ‘Biographies & memoirs: LGBTQIA (an umbrella acronym that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and two-spirited, queer and questioning, intersex, asexual, pansexual and other marginalized orientations or identities).
I received a complimentary copy of this memoir from publisher Westminster John Knox Press through my membership of NetGalley. I was very pleased to receive the memoir, thank you. These are my own honest opinions without any outside influences. It’s a 3.5* from me.

‘Oh boo hoo get over it’ is what I felt a lot of time. I never really got into the book till about 47%, seemed more about the church than transgender. I also felt he repeated him self a lot.
Then I gave up at 83% and did not finish

Jonathan Williams grew up in an Evangelical church empire and became a minister in one of their churches. Then, as a young man with young children, to his horror and shame, his father, Paul, now Paula Williams, revealed that she was transgender, a girl born into a boy’s body, something she’d struggled with since her own youth, and was transitioning from male to female.

After a period of soul-searching and estrangement, Jonathan realized that while Paula was not the male father he’d grown up with, she was, nevertheless his father - the person who instilled in him the values that he needed to be a strong Christian leader, husband, and father.

This is a courageous and heartfelt story, told from the perspective of both Jonathan and Paula. I admire their strength. However, I thought the writing was merely average and the book extremely repetitive. At half its length, the same very compelling story could have been told without omitting anything.

I received this book as an ARC from the publisher and NetGalley.

Posted to Goodreads on 9/14/18 (link below)

She's My Dad is a fascinating read with a very important message valuing love and acceptance. In this memoir, Jonathan Williams, a pastor, recounts the story of his father's transition and discusses its impact on his own life. Williams' father, Paul (now Paula), was also a pastor; both parent and son, before becoming ministers, were involved in a churchbuilding organization, a movement within Evangelical Christianity, and had both based their entire lives around the church.

I'm guessing that Williams' intended audience is his fellow Christians since he chose a religious publisher for his book. I grew up in an Evangelical community and based on my experience with this ultraconservative group, I am not sure if they are ready for Williams' message. But I hope some of them are. The message in this book is incredibly powerful.

Williams has a strong grasp of structure (probably from years of writing and preaching sermons). He begins his story by throwing the reader right into the thick of things by describing his father's trip home to New York to come out to the family. This is a family full of pastors, all members deeply entwined with their church. Paula, then Paul, recognizes this and describes his situation clinically, flipping through the DSM-4 (the transgender identity was removed from the newer DSM-5 and is no longer recognized as a psychiatric disorder), "talking about the possible ways the synapses and receptors in his brain might have come to the conclusion that he's really a woman." Williams glosses over how the rest of his family responded, but he himself is shattered. He essentially goes through the stages of grief, feeling confused, angry, and depressed as he struggles with losing his father.

"There's no handbook. There's no 'how to' on YouTube. We're rightfully creating a culture where those who identify as being transgender receive greater support, but behind every coming-out party, there is a family that's weeping, drinking too much, and Googling exactly what it means to be transgender."

Paula's story is undoubtedly fascinating. I can't imagine being so immersed in an ultraconservative community, being a leader in that community, and then coming out as transgender, which is akin to transforming into an agent of the devil himself to those people. And there are a few chapters in the book written by Paula, giving us a glimpse into what she herself was going through. That story would make a great book, but this book doesn't tell that story. This book is Jonathan Williams' story. He too turns to the logic of the DSM-4 to help cope but "learning those terms and definitions intellectually did not change the emotional impact of who my father was and was becoming. I still struggled to understand the root cause that brought about such utter destruction and grief to my life. It began to dawn on me that the simple and easy rhythm in which we shared our lives would forever be different. I couldn't conceptualize this difference. When one goes through the trauma of a parent changing gender, the default is to maintain one's framework for looking at the world." And so he does. Paula, of course, immediately loses her job when she comes out as transgender. Williams recognizes that he too would lose his job if he "came out" as the accepting son of a transgender woman, so he, at first, hides his aspect of his life from his church. He struggles to reconcile his relationship with his parent with his ultraconservative community. At first, he takes small steps, by "liking" the Facebook post of a woman who came out, and by welcoming gay men and women into his church (secretly, of course, which made me uncomfortable). He begins to drink heavily. He tells a select few people in his life about his parent's changing identity but is disappointed when they focus on his parent's side by celebrating Paula's courage and perseverance. Williams recognizes that this narrative is good and true but that a "deeper narrative" of the pain that accompanies each transition is being missed.

It's easy to think Williams wants more pity and attention (I did after reading some of these passages), but again, this is his book and his story. His message is that other people are affected by a transition and that the popular narrative today "doesn't take into account the sheer complexity of having one's father, brother, sister, mother, child, or spouse become a completely different person on a neurological level. . . [T]here are friends and family members whose neural pathways are also literally rewired in the process of comprehending their loved one's transition."

Williams' relationship with his parent is strained in the months after Paula initially came out to the family, but he works through his feelings and eventually the two regain their close and loving relationship. Williams has to make some difficult choices about his career and eventually leaves the church-building community to focus on a progressive church that is welcoming to the LGBT community.

The entire story arc ended there. If the book had also ended there, I would have still enjoyed this book. But Williams goes on to discuss his ideas about reconciling his Christian faith with the need to love and accept his parent. The Evangelical world has no place for people like Paula, which is truly awful, and completely at odds with Jesus' love they neighbor philosophy. As Williams points out, the Bible only has a few passages that could possibly be referencing homosexuality, and none of them came from Jesus' mouth. Williams needs to leave his old world for one where his parent's truth is accepted and acknowledged, and he creates this world in his new church.

"As a church, we wanted to convey that healing and restoration come from the freedom to live out one's true identity. To take that identity and dissect it through Old Testament proof texting seemed to miss the mark entirely. While we're debating the meanings of ancient texts, so many in the queer community are presently marginalized, hurt, and even dying, for attempting to live out the truth of how they are perfectly created in the image of God."

I applaud this message. By leaving his old community and career, Williams demonstrated incredible courage. It's not quite fair to compare this courage to Paula's, but, again, this isn't that book.

Williams spends the final section of this book discussing, in depth, certain passages in the Bible. He puts the Bible in its proper context of an ancient text that should be treated as a living document rather than literal truth. He points to the US Constitution as another example: we should not take the words of eighteenth century white men as absolute truth, but use it as a guide. He outlines some interesting theories about what those Bible passages that seemingly condemn homosexuality actually mean, and points to some similar passages that had one meaning thousands of years ago and a completely different meaning today, such as the Abraham/Issac sacrifice story and passages condoning rape and slavery. This section of the book reads a bit like a Bible study, but Williams again demonstrates his strong sense of narrative structure by bringing us back to a final scene that mirrors a passage from earlier in the book, at a baseball game, where he concludes that he is at peace with his faith and that he and his parent have a wonderful relationship again.

Throughout the book, Williams constantly refers to Paula as he/him and “my father” but I tried not to hold that against him. He does throw she/her in there seemingly at random. My guess is that referring to Paula is “my father” makes it easier for his audience, since this is a Christian publisher. He also uses asterisks to censor curse words (f*ck) which is irritating, but again, Christian publisher.

She's My Dad gives me hope for the Evangelical Christian community. If two leaders in the movement are able to not only leave but thrive and bring a new message of love and acceptance, maybe deeper change on an institutional level is possible. This memoir is intelligent, perceptive, and unapologetically honest, and I would highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially to my Christian friends.

I received an E-Advanced Reader Copy of this memoir in exchange for a fair review. Many thanks to Netgalley and Westminster John Knox Press for the opportunity to review this memoir.

She’s My Dad : A Father’s Transition and a Son’s Redemption by Jonathan Williams and Paula Stone Williams follows a Jonathan while his father transitions from male to female late in her life. Paula has felt that she was a woman since she was a child but did not transition until late in his life after he married and had children. Jonathan has a hard time coping as he feels like he is losing his father. On top of this, Paula loses her job as a director for an Evangelical church-planting organization and struggles to find her place in the world after losing something that was such an integral part of her life. Johnathan who is a Pastor at one of these churches struggles to accept his father and if it is okay for him to do so in the eyes of God.

This memoir is so refreshing. Jonathan is honest about his struggle to accept his father’s new identity. Jonathan laments that he feels like he is losing the person that he grew up knowing even though his father really isn’t going anywhere. He admits that this is partly because the perceived masculinity that he saw his father having. His identity was based around his now transgendered father does that mean that that he is a woman himself? Eventually Jonathan comes around to his father’s change but he struggles deeply while doing so.
Paula’s perspective is very limited, she only has a few chapters, but I wish that she had more. She too has her own struggles. From her relationships with her friends and family falling apart to her own faith. Paula loses the her job, something that she loved to do and this made her lose her faith in God because she cannot find her place without preaching. I wish her journey through transition was explored more, but I understand that the majority of this book was meant to surround Jonathan’s struggle.
This memoir is the perfect example of using religion and faith in a way that does not turn a reader, who does share their opinion, off. Jonathan is humble in his journey through his father’s transition. He, as a preacher, does question is faith. He wants to accept his Father but he is having a hard time figuring how to do so while still following what he feels his religion expects of him. His group of churches does not accept any part of the LGBTQ+ community. Jonathan ends up leaving this group of churches when he decides to embrace his father, bringing his church to be more accepting and even if they don’t agree they can still live together. It is beautiful to watch Jonathan express his struggle and eventual acceptance of not only his father but the LGBTQ+ community.
There are a few things that I wish were in this memoir but they often involved other people, I accept that this was probably due to the person not wanting their own experience published. One thing that did bother me was that “fuck” is used a few times but it is bleeped out. This is an adult book and I think that we as adults can handle explicit language. This is a minor thing, but It did annoy me to see those stars in the word.
She’s My Dad is an eye opening memoir showcasing two people’s struggles to accept themselves and each other. It is a great book for those who know someone who is transitioning, and especially their families. I’m curious to see what comes of this book when it is finally published.

Wow, what a book. You could feel the pain of losing his "dad", and trying to have a relationship with the new person she is. This was an enlightening book. Really enjoyed!

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.