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Emily can barely hold together most days, but she's getting better. Paolo helps with that. Yes, he works long hours at his lab, and she spends most of her time waiting for him to finish work so that they can spend time together, but she also spends the rest of her time helping children. She's a child psychologist. Being able to help children gives her a purpose. So when Paolo has declared that they will be taking the weekend and renting a boat, Emily should be over the moon. However, she has reservations. Her Bipolar disorder is under control for the most part, but she still has bad days, and the water makes her incredibly nervous. She hasn't told Paolo directly that she can't swim, and she's hoping that she doesn't have to and they can just spend a relaxing weekend together. After a wonderful first day, Emily wakes up with the regret of drinking wine the day before. Feeling sick and really not enjoying the rocking motion of the boat, she calls for Paolo but he doesn't answer. After slowly pulling herself together Emily wanders up to the deck to find out what Paolo could be so enthralled with, only to find herself completely alone. No Paolo. No nothing. Alone. Panic sets in and it's all she can do to barely hold herself together to get back to shore. What happened to Paolo? Where did he go? Why did he leave a woman who suffers with mental illness and the inability to swim along on a boat in the middle of a lake? A story of secrets, sorrow, and a woman, who completely breaks down while trying to find out the truth of what happened the day that her beloved boyfriend disappeared, who is pulled into the investigation and thought of as a suspect. Emily feels like she is the only one who can discover the truth and finally give herself closure. Can she do it? Can she survive it?

So I've gone on a bit of a psychological thriller jaunt the last few books. I've really taken a shine to this genre. I've always loved a good mystery and these ones give me that plus a little bit extra that I struggle to put into words. I was really looking forward to this book when I requested it, though I felt that it was a little bit lacklustre. The premise was SO interesting. A woman wakes up on a boat alone, with no clue as to what has happened to her boyfriend, while also trying to navigate the stress and anxiety of the whole situation living with Bipolar disorder. But it just didn't grab me the way I'd hope that it would.

First off, Emily was, to me, incredibly unlikable. Yes she suffers with bipolar and yes she's going through a traumatic experience, but I just found myself becoming increasingly annoyed with her throughout the story. I find that some of the terrible choices she made wasn't because of her disorder, but because she's an idiot. It sounds harsh, but that's the only way I can describe it. It felt like every slightly inconvenient thing that she did, or bad decision that she made, she blamed on her disorder. And I feel like that's not very accurate. Yes us people with mental illnesses can make bad choices or say stupid things during episodes, but not every single bad choice or stupid comment can be BLAMED on our mental illness, regardless of what that mental illness is. I feel like Emily didn't take enough responsibility for herself and liked to fob everything off as "oh I have bipolar, I do this kind of thing often." No, I think sometimes she's just a shitty person, and it's not always her bipolar's fault. I do like that her profession was a psychologist. Yes this isn't real life, but I have often wondered about whether people with mental illness can make successful psychologists. Not in the way of 'can they actually help people' because I believe having a mental illness may help connect to patients easier at times, but in the ability to compartmentalise and let go of what your patients are telling you and confiding in you with. I feel like being a psychologist, one takes on SO MUCH from their patients, that it must be hard to just let it roll back off you and not impact you or your daily life in any way.

Emily's bipolar. I've read books that have centred around mental illness before, and I find myself drawn to them, for obvious reasons. I felt like the representation of Emily's disorder in this book was a bit stilted. It felt too clinical. Other books that I've read about mental illness have had a way of dragging you in and letting you experience this for yourself, in a small way anyway. I felt like this book didn't do that. I had no empathy toward Emily and her illness at all, which is very strange for me. The super clinical feel may be because the author is/was a psychologist by trade, I'm not sure. I feel like if this was written by someone who lives with bipolar, the feel of the book might have been different. I'm not sure if the author has bipolar or not, but it just didn't feel authentic to me.

Cal. I hated him at first, but the more that we got to see him and get to know him, I really enjoyed his character. One thing I did like about this book was how real the characters seemed. They all had flaws and issues and that's great. I hate a book that the characters are very one dimensional and there's no depth there. They don't feel real because they're so damn perfect. The characters in this book were incredibly well written.

The story itself was okay. As I said earlier, I was SO intrigued about this story, but I still feel like it fell a bit short for me. To be honest the only thing that kept me reading was the fact that I just really wanted to know what happened to Paolo, I just needed that question answered and I was done. I couldn't really care about the rest of the story that much. I was interested in seeing what happened to Emily in the end, but it was kind of secondary to WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PAOLO?!?!?! The pacing was a bit slow for me, and it felt like it dragged at times. Most of the time it felt like nothing was really happening, Emily was going through her day to day life, well, trying to at least, with this big cloud of uncertainty hanging over her head, but that was it. The story did pick up again when we started finding things out, but it felt a bit all over the place. After Paolo's disappearance, the story felt like it jumped a fair bit and I found myself having no idea exactly how much time had passed since the disappearance itself.

The mystery side of it was interesting, until I worked out half of it about 60% through. This would have been okay if it was happening the same time as the big reveal, but it didn't, I had worked out the culprit before the characters and that irks me. I still had no idea what had happened to Paolo, but honestly after the half way mark, it felt like Paolo's story took a backseat to other things that were happening. Then we find out what happened to Paolo right near the end. It just didn't feel that greatly constructed to me.

All in all, a pretty mediocre read which was disappointing, I was really hoping I'd love this one. Don't let my review put you off though, these are just things that I found didn't work for me, but you might love the story :) If psychological thrillers are your thing, give it a go, it might surprise you. I think I was focusing so much on the mental health side of it and that's why it didn't quite work for me.

This is the first book that I’ve read by the author and it didn’t disappoint. The start and end of the book was good but I found the middle slightly long. The book did keep me guessing on what happened to Paolo and I loved the twist

This was an interesting book. The main character, Emily, is a child psychologist who takes an overnight boat ride with her boyfriend, Paolo. She wakes up in the morning to find that Paolo is missing. She contacts the police onshore and an investigation is initiated. They never find a body but do recover a shoe which leads them to believe that he fell in during the night. Emily has Bipolar Disorder which is exacerbated by the accident and the police who seem to suspect her of wrongdoing. There are some plot twists as she investigates what really happened to Paolo. It kept me interested in finding out all the pieces would fall into place. It was an enjoyable read.

Where to start? Emily (the heroine) goes on a romantic boat trip with her boyfriend, Paolo. She's scared of being on the water - Paolo takes to the water like a fish. Their schedules: her a psychologist - him a microbiologist - make it difficult to just go on this short vacation and just relax. They have earned it.

Now, in my mind, Emily's biggest problem (which was "kinda" addressed) is being an alcoholic. Yes, she is bipolar - but only on Ativan? Is she self-medicating? Anyway, Paolo drowns (we suspect!) during this trip and Emily becomes the most likely suspect. After all, she mentions to the reader, "...I felt his heart was not entirely mine".

The story then becomes chaotic - Emily must think that she is the Chief of Police!!! Yes, she had performed psych evaluations for a year for the police, but this does not qualify for a detective badge. Emily angered me. I relied on other characters to help me through.

Yet, overall a fast read

Many thanks to Crooked Lane books and NetGalley for the chance to read this and evaluate!!!

And Then You Were Gone.... where do I start? This book was excellent. I loved the main character Emily right from the very first page of the book. She’s the kind of character you want in a book, strong, smart, well spoken, bipolar, interesting, and extremely likable. Her reactions to her boyfriend disappearing and her subsequent spiral downward (before she got back up) were so well written and honest. She was the flawed hero, and every step she took was believable. This entire book was well researched (from the plot, to Emily’s mental condition). By the time it unfolded and ended, all I wanted was for it to keep going because I liked the characters so much.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a quick read. Kind of a crazy story. I never felt that connected to the characters. I think it would have helped to maybe have more backstory on them. Didn’t feel totally compelled to find out what happened.

Wow... this was a tough book to put down! I just wanted to keep reading to see what was going to happen next. I could not see how it was going to end at all... and I love that in a book. The main character was far from perfect and the story had me hooked from the very start.

Emily Firestone... her life is finally starting to come good. After years of living with bipolar she has finally learned how to live with it. She has a great job and a fantastic new boyfriend Paolo, who adores her. When Paolo suggests a Sailing weekend away she jumps at the chance. They spend the evening drinking far too much and when Emily wakes in the morning Paolo is missing without a trace. The police believe that he has drowned, but she knows that he is a strong swimmer and refuses to believe it. Before long she becomes a person of interest in the case no she needs to stay well enough to prove her innocence.

A fantastic read and an author to keep an eye out for in the future. Thanks to Crooked Lane Books and NetGalley for my advanced copy of this book to read. All opinions are my own and are in no way biased

Thank you NetGalley and Crooked Lane Books for giving me a chance to read this book for my honest opinion.
I was really looking forward to reading this. It is about Emily and Paulo who are out on their boat. They plan on spending the night out in the harbor just drinking some wine and having some dinner. They enjoy one another's company and love having some quiet time. Each one has such a busy schedule that they cherish times like this.
But when Emily wakes up Paulo is gone with no sign of struggle. Then the story is predictable, then it drags on, then it becomes boring.
The ending is dumb. And comes out of nowhere. I was dumbfounded and disappointed.

I love the plot behind Paolo "murder"/"drowning"; however, I felt like the storyline was mainly focused on Emily and her ventures to find the murderer while crossing the boundaries with the police. Then, the mystery behind the drowning is explained in a expediated manner towards end of the book. I personally do not like Emily character and wanted the story to shift from Emily to solving the mystery of her boyfriend's drowning. Therefore, I give it a 3 star.

Yes! Yes! And more yes! My absolute must read thrillers are those who star a completely unreliable narrator! Are they crazy? Am I crazy? Who knows?!

Our main character has bipolar but it’s under control. On a romantic getaway with her boyfriend he disappears and it looks as if he’s been murdered... she wouldn’t kill him? Would she?

These are my favorite type of books and I always cross my fingers in hopes that they are done beautifully and brilliantly. This book was phenomenal. Can we trust our sweet narrator? Or has she done something terrible that she will regret for the rest of her life? Read this! I don’t want to spoil the surprises!

RJ Jacobs has hit my must read list!

I always wonder if the first book I finish in a new year will foretell what's to come in that year, at least where reading is concerned. I 70 percent loved this book. I identified with the main character and liked how she had what seemed almost like superhuman capabilities because of her mental illness. I know most people will not see it that way; even the other characters around her didn't see her that way, but that's how I felt. I enjoyed the voice, the writing style. It had an easy flow.

The twist wasn't hard to guess for me, and in my opinion, there were some actions and motivations that didn't seem quite right. Some things were unbelievable, and there were some inconsistencies. But overall, I liked this one.

Thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for allowing me to review an ARC.

The premise of this book sounds SO good, doesn’t it?

Sometimes I love an unpredictable, unreliable narrator. She can keep you guessing until the very end. Except that for some reason I just could not connect with Emily at all. It’s not even that she made me mad, it was almost like she was a little too two dimensional for me. She didn’t jump out. I didn’t really care about her one way or the other.

I did like the story. I wanted to know how it would end. But as I’m writing this review I’m realizing that I don’t even completely remember how it ended. Like, I know who the killer was. But I can’t exactly remember what became of Emily. It’s as if I cared so little about her that literally a few days after I finished the book I just don’t care at all what happened to her.

As I said, the story itself was a good one. So maybe this book wasn’t for me because I had a hard time connecting with Emily. I won’t say don’t read this book because it just may not have been my cup of tea. So read the premise and approach it at your own risk.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

This book was received as an ARC from Crooked Lane Books in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.

I am a huge fan of mysteries especially ones that focuses on disappearing characters such as this one and the fact it had a Jaws, under the sea vibe to the plot made it all the more interesting. throughout the book I could not help but to vision what will come next and always asking the question of whether or not Emily will ever find out what will happen to Paolo. The ending was so unexpected that it completely took a whole new turn which left me shocked with disbelief and I could not help but to feel on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.

We will definitely consider adding this title to our Fiction collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

Thanks Netgalley for the ARC. Here's my honest review.

I have friends who are bipolar and I thought Jacobs portrayed the mania of the main character. The book started ominously and just went deeper and deeper into a world of serial killing, mistrust and some extremely terrible choices.

Emily goes on a boat trip with her boyfriend and overnight he disappears. We hear about her episodes with depression and mania from her past at regular intervals and it seems everyone who knows her has had chunks of their lives taken up in caring for her. You want to dislike her for all the bad choices but her heart was always in the right place. The suspense is there from the first chapter and it is a very fast paced book with twists and upsets and a burgeoning friendship.

Very interesting storyline and can't wait for the next novel by Jacobs.

*2.5 stars*

I hate to say it, but I just did not really like this book. The book centers around Emily Firestone, a child psychologist whose boyfriend disappears while on a boating trip. She struggles to come to terms with the fact that he is actually gone, and is convinced something sinister happened even though the authorities have ruled it a drowning. We are taken on a wild journey, seen through the lens of Emily's bipolar mania, where she tries to uncover the real truth about Paolo's disappearance.

My main issue with this one was twofold. One, I did not particularly like Emily's character, and couldn't really relate to her. Two, the story got more and more outlandish as time went on, to the point where I was eye rolling by the end.

I would say to skip this one, if I'm being honest. The writing was decent, but I just couldn't get into the story.

A great page turning thriller. A man disappears & while all indications are that he drowned, Emily Firestone is having a difficult time accepting it. As she continues to investigate, things get weirder & weirder. You will want to read this to the end.

DNF about 15%

I just could not get into this one. Couldn’t find a decent reading rhythm/flow to the book and couldn’t warm to the main character - decided to stop reading when I realised that I wasn’t invested in their storyline.

Thank you to R.J. Jacobs, Crooked Lane Books and NetGalley for an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was ok, definitely a pretty good mystery. But Emily is just so annoying. It was hard to buy her relationship with Paolo, and also hard to care too much what happened to her. Worth a read anyway for the mystery.

This was a quick read. The author lost me towards the end. It just seemed too much, too convenient, too predictable. I couldn't wait to find out what happened to Paolo. Emily's mind is racing, she's frantic, she has to find answers and find them soon and it's easy to get caught up in the rush with her. I was rooting for her. But sadly, this book lacked that oomph I was hoping for that would make it an exciting and satisfying mystery.

One of the most intriguing novels I have read this year because it mixes a suspenseful thriller with a little hint of science. I thoroughly enjoyed this because I thought I knew where the story was going, only to be guided in a completely different direction with each chapter. Very cleverly written and characters that come across sinister with their intentions. I wasn't sure who to trust and who to believe! If you enjoy psychological thrillers that have you guessing at every corner - this is it...

I would recommend this authors' work and will post a full review on my blog in the same week the book is released March 2019.