This book was not quite what I expected, but in a good way. I expected the book to focus mostly on Jodie Patterson and her family coming to terms with having a transgender child/sibling and navigating what that meant for everyone, especially in a society that often is not very accepting of difference, especially of the transgender variety. While Penelope's status as transgender is introduced in the opening chapter, it is not until halfway into the book that the focus shifts to talking about Penelope, who everyone thought was a girl until he announced that he was a boy. The first half of the book focuses on Ms. Patterson's life leading up to her current family situation. She has a fascinating life story, starting with a tradition of strong forceful black women who refused to allow society's perception of the proper role of black people and women, especially black women, to define their lives, breaking with convention where it did not suit them. She also grew up in a household where black pride was heavily emphasized and both her and her sister were taught that there was nothing they could not do because of their race or their gender. From her father -- "there's no place you don't belong. Walk like you own the joint. Because you do, baby girl. You do!"

However, her life also had many struggles, including a father who preached empowerment, but also insisted that certain things had to be done his way, such as attending a black college; relationship struggles; professional struggles -- especially her first post-college job, which did not turn out how she expected. Ms. Patterson takes pride (understandably) in her successes and she credits the role models who helped shape her and inspire her and the individuals who took a chance on her, but she is also open about her struggles and failures, including times when the negativity of life overwhelms her and she is not sure if or how she can regain her equilibrium.

The latter half of the book focuses mainly on the family trying to figure out what it means for Penelope, who they viewed as their young daughter/sister, to insist that he is a boy. Ms. Patterson discusses her struggle to understand the change in situation, her worries and fears for Penelope, when and how and how much to tell other people, etc. She talks about the tension between her and her husband, Joe, who has a harder time accepting the changing circumstances, but mostly struggles with how fast and how hard Jodie wants to push things. Ms. Patterson (Jodie) is an activist by nature and a fierce mama bear when it comes to her family and wants to do everything she can to protect Penelope (Penel, P) and at times she pushes too hard and too fast.

One of the best parts of the book is when, at Jodie's insistence, the whole family goes to a camp for transgender and gender nonconforming children and their families. During one of the sessions where the adults are talking to each other about their experiences and lives, Joe talks about fathers and how they experience the transition of a child and how their way, the Dad way, is different but valuable. Ms. Patterson also talks about her other children and their relationship to Penelope -- how for the children, it was easier to embrace the change, and how each child found their own special connection to their brother. It is also enjoyable and reassuring to see how Penelope, once able to be the boy he knows he is, grows and develops and handles the issues that inevitably come up. He has his share of uncomfortable or hurtful moments, but he and his family find environments, such as karate, where he can be who he is without having to worry so much how he is perceived by others (not that he can entirely escape the judgment of those who want to define him by biological sex) and where he can develop his own self-identity that is not defined by whether he is a boy or a girl -- he is Penelope Ghartey and the world is going to have to deal with him on his terms.

When the book ends, Penelope is still in grade school, with a lot of challenges ahead of him. With his inner strength and his supportive family, he will hopefully do well. However, I also hope that as more stories of transgender and gender nonconforming children and adults are told and shared, that we, as a society, will become better at accepting individuals as who they are and want to be, rather than who, as society, we expect them to be based on outward appearance.

I am glad I had the opportunity to read and review this book through NetGalley.

In this memoir, Jodie talks about the influence of her family growing up and learning what it meant to be black and a woman. She was influenced by cultural norms and had to fight through some of them to become who she wanted to be. She acquired strength and determination through the examples of the women in her life who fought for racial equality in a number of ways.
She also talks a lot about motherhood and her different experiences and growing pains in raising her kids and having a blended family. She shares openly about her struggles and growth with raising a transgendered child. She pulls together some parallels between growing up with a rebellious sister who took most of her parent's attention and the energy and attention required to help her son navigate an unfriendly world.
I appreciated learning about her life experiences growing up as a black woman as well as being the mother in a nontraditional family.

Honest open real at times heartbreaking.Jodie Patterson shares her life her families world as she discovers her child is Transgender.Her fight to make sure that her child would be accepted within the family and the world.Jodie is now an activist for trangender rights.This is an important book should be in libraries perfect for discussion,in today’s political climate we need books activists so transgenders can feel safe live their lives. #netgalley #the boldworld #randomhouse,.

Sweet book. So much love.

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.